Shadowed Love: A Lover Who Refuses to Let Go - Chapter 40

In the cramped car cabin, the only sound was the clear, steady breathing of the child. Yin Xuan was nestled obediently in Yin Yunzhu’s arms, the tears at the corners of her eyes having dried into faint tracks as she murmured in her sleep.

Half of Yin Yunzhu’s body was numb. She rolled down the passenger window, letting the fresh breeze from the trees drift in to disperse the heaviness in her chest.

In just a few dozen minutes, the obscure search term had climbed steadily into the public eye. Combined with the massive discussion power of the name “Jiang Menghe,” the shares and likes on the post increased at a visible speed.

“I heard Jiang Menghe’s dad was in prison. How did someone like this get into the industry?” “Suggest a background check. This counts as a ‘tainted artist’ by association, right?” “Congrats to Best Actress Jiang for losing her mating rights. Children of convicts can’t take civil service exams [Laughing Crying Emoji].”

All sorts of unsightly comments flooded in like a carnival for anti-fans. Even a national film star could not ensure everyone liked her. There seemed to be a malicious hand pushing negative reviews to the top, occupying the hot comments and refusing to budge. Seeing the overwhelming abuse, even Yin Yunzhu felt a tightening pain in her heart, let alone the person involved.

Jiang Menghe, who never missed a charity event and was hailed as the “clean stream” of the entertainment circle, was facing a reputation collapse. Many fans were already fighting back:

“Just for saying a few words for Jiang Menghe, my comment got shadow banned. Weibo, you’re really something.” “Pure passerby here. It’s obvious someone is behind this. Real fans wouldn’t believe it.” “Uh, can I ask what her dad going to prison has to do with Jiang Menghe?” “Reply to the person above: If her dad is that kind of person, how good can Jiang Menghe be?”

The latest comment directly stoked the conflict, and those who loved drama began liking it in droves. Yin Yunzhu grew angrier the further she scrolled. She knew Jiang Menghe’s character better than anyone. Even while they were in a cold war, she instinctively wanted to defend her.

Unfortunately, her small voice was quickly drowned out. She scrolled to the top and found that new posts were leaking explosive “material” one after another, rather than all at once. This was the most lethal strategy: like a long-planned, dull knife cutting through flesh.

“LOL the ‘Fairy Lady’ persona is dead. Passersby caught her smoking [Image].” “This is the national role model? I hope her fanboys take a good look.” “Who was it that built a persona on acting skills and then collapsed? Hard to guess!”

When a wall is about to fall, everyone gives it a push. Yin Yunzhu opened the chat box with Jiang Menghe. A message of concern was in the input bar, but she couldn’t bring herself to send it. She thought of the harsh words Jiang had said that morning. Why should I crawl back just to be humiliated again?

She turned off the screen, her worried reflection staring back at her. Emotions and reason pulled at her, wearing down her resolve. Had Jiang Menghe lost interest because she didn’t want to implicate Yin Yunzhu in this scandal?

She tried every way to excuse the other woman, but those theories were quickly toppled by other details. The gap between them felt real now: not a vast chasm, but a thin, transparent barrier. Jiang’s emotions were visible, but when Yin reached out to touch her, she only met cold glass.

The car was parked by the bridge as the setting sun cast a golden glow over the shimmering water. The harsh noon sun had faded, and the temperature was pleasant.

Yin Xuan had slept for quite a while. Her swollen eyelids hadn’t subsided, so when she opened her eyes, Yin Yunzhu didn’t notice at first.

“Sister, what’s wrong?” She looked up from Yin Yunzhu’s lap and reached out to touch her face.

Yin Yunzhu hadn’t cried, but she gave off a desolate sense of loneliness. Seeing her sister awake, she whispered, “Slept enough?” Her voice was husky and low, sounding utterly exhausted.

She’s like me, Yin Xuan thought. Sad about family things but forced to act strong.

Adults are so tired, Yin Xuan mused. Seeing the child was alert, Yin Yunzhu adjusted her posture, and the sensation returned to her numb arms with an itchy, burning sting.

“Still feeling bad?” She stroked Yin Xuan’s hair.

The little girl mumbled for a while before whispering, “A… a little better.” Her voice was thick with a nasal tone that made Yin Yunzhu’s heart soften.

Yin Yunzhu looked at the school gate nearby. The telescopic gate led to the security room, and the entrance was empty. Following a bell, children began chirping and running out of the classrooms.

“Should I send you in now?” She looked down, holding Yin Xuan’s elbow.

As soon as the words left her mouth, the little girl burst into tears, burrowing back into her embrace. “Mama, Papa… I don’t have a home anymore!”

Yin Yunzhu sometimes wondered how Yin Xuan could act so poorly yet accurately manipulate Madam Shan’s heart. No matter how stern Yin Yunzhu’s tone was, in the child’s eyes, she was just a cat pretending to be a tiger: zero deterrent.

After Yin Xuan’s relentless pestering and acting out, Yin Yunzhu had no choice but to drive her to a nearby amusement park to play for the afternoon.

When the little girl got off the pirate ship, her hair was wild from the wind, and she excitedly shouted for more. Yin Yunzhu, however, felt her legs go weak and leaned against a stone pillar, gagging.

“Go on the carousel. I’ll watch you from here.” Being on solid ground finally stabilized her racing heart.

“You’re really worrying me,” Yin Xuan said, crossing her arms and lecturing her in an adult tone.

“Just go!” Yin Yunzhu couldn’t help but swat the child’s bottom playfully.

Finally getting the little ancestor to settle down, she bought a bottle of water from a nearby shop and sat on a bench. Since it was a weekday, there weren’t many families, and the popular rides were nearly empty. The sunset dyed the clouds orange, and the central fountain created faint, fountain rainbows.

Out of concern, Yin Yunzhu opened Weibo again. The heat around Jiang Menghe had not faded; it had become even more prominent. The homepage refreshed to show a clarification statement from Yunyu Culture and a post from Jiang Menghe’s own account.

Unlike the usual formal legal documents, Jiang Menghe’s long post was full of sincere emotion.

Jiang Menghe: I’m sorry to have kept those who truly love and support me waiting for so long. I have read the comments online and humbly accept the criticisms. Regarding my father, Huang Shuang, I cannot refute the facts: he was imprisoned for ten years for fraud. Prior to this, I was unaware of his criminal actions. Entering the path of acting was, as many media outlets reported, partly to pay off his massive debts, and partly to fulfill a childhood dream…

It was a long statement, and between the lines, a sense of weight and sorrow seeped through. Many passersby were moved and began sharing it; the comments below shifted dramatically.

“So Jiang Menghe was dragged down by her dad? Oh my god, how tragic.” “People won’t let go of old news. How can we let our Sister go? [Heartbreak]” “It takes years to reach the top, yet rumors can crush you so easily.” “Turns out her dad didn’t just owe money: he committed fraud. He even took her mom’s surgery money. So unlucky to have a dad like that.”

The long statement had an immediate effect, successfully repositioning the “criminal’s daughter” as a victim, making fans ache for her.

Yin Yunzhu scrolled through the comments, her heart sinking. She knew Jiang Menghe might be hiding things, but she didn’t expect her to carry so much. No wonder she had been smoking so much lately: it was for this. And yet, Yin Yunzhu had been immaturely immersed in the sweetness of love without considering her feelings.

I was so inconsiderate.

Jiang Menghe always smiled gently, being modest and kind to everyone: even to a “bed partner” she could discard at any time. Occasionally, when Yin Yunzhu woke in the middle of the night and studied her face, she would see the sorrow haunting her brow.

Yin Yunzhu almost couldn’t restrain herself from calling, but reason told her to stay calm. Jiang Menghe was overwhelmed and likely didn’t have the energy to deal with her. Moreover, Yin was one of the sources of her stress; friction over a screen would only worsen their relationship.

She wanted to lower her head, reconcile, and comfort Jiang Menghe: not make her feel worse.

She gripped her phone tightly, suppressing the impulse. She desperately wanted to know how Jiang was, and regretted not having Bai Jiali add Ye Xiyang on WeChat. Her connections in the entertainment circle were few; He Ping was just a business contact and wouldn’t care about gossip.

She scrolled through her contacts until Jiang Shiyun’s name appeared.

Right, I can ask Jiang Shiyun.

She was a popular starlet and must know the inside story. Plus, judging by her tone before, she knew Yin and Jiang Menghe’s relationship was far from ordinary. Since Jiang Shiyun was acting close to her because of He Ping, Yin could use that influence to get her to talk.

Yin Yunzhu sent a message to Jiang Shiyun.

Student Xiao Zhu: I have something I want to ask you.

The reply came quickly. Given the heat around Jiang Menghe, many celebrities were likely surfing the web.

Sangen Xueleng: Whatever you need, Teacher Yin, I’ll do my best to help.

Her respectful attitude gave Yin Yunzhu confidence.

Student Xiao Zhu: Have you seen the comments online? About Jiang Menghe… actually, as a friend, I want to know how she is doing right now…

Yin Yunzhu’s lying was too clumsy, her words far too transparent. A smart person would understand immediately.

A long time passed without a reply. The text at the top switched back and forth between “Contact Name” and “Typing.” The other woman seemed to be writing a long message or hesitating.

Jiang Shiyun was indeed thinking of how to bluff her way through. She wasn’t stupid enough to tell Yin Yunzhu that she was the one who threw the mud in the first place. She had intended to ruin Jiang Menghe’s reputation to lower He Ping’s interest in her.

She hadn’t expected Yunyu’s PR to be so powerful. In just a few hours, the public attitude had flipped, turning Jiang Menghe into a victim and harvesting sympathy.

What a move.

Jiang Shiyun was resentful but helpless. Her backers felt she had gone too far and gained nothing, risking the truth being exposed. How could she be satisfied? Constantly stepped on by Jiang Menghe, having her scripts and hot searches stolen, and even having He Ping choose Yin Yunzhu’s original work.

She suddenly stopped, her gaze lingering on Yin Yunzhu’s concerned words. She remembered Jiang Menghe and Yin Yunzhu were close, yet now Yin was asking her instead of the person involved.

Jiang Shiyun searched her private album and found the backup of the photo Jiang Menghe had asked her to delete. Before, she didn’t understand why a single photo made Jiang’s face change color. Combined with the paparazzi leaks, it mostly involved her father, Huang Shuang. But if that was Huang Shuang, who was the person sending the money? The victim?

Jiang Shiyun frowned, feeling a missing link. If it was a fraud victim, it seemed reasonable to keep a screenshot of evidence to send someone to jail.

Sangen Xueleng: I can only say that what the media disclosed online is true [Image]. Sangen Xueleng: Whether you believe it or not, all I know is what’s in this photo. Sangen Xueleng: Jiang Menghe really needs comfort right now. If you see her, give her my regards.

She didn’t mind doing a small favor while also being a nuisance to Jiang Menghe.

Student Xiao Zhu: Okay, thank you.

After ending the contact, Yin Yunzhu covered her face with her hands and slowly exhaled. The cheerful laughter of children and the melodic music of the rides filled the air around her.

She was heartbroken. Why wouldn’t Jiang Menghe tell her anything, piece by piece? What would it take for Jiang to feel that she was someone worth relying on and confiding in?

The twilight deepened, and the horizon was stained with dark blue, swallowing the last of the sunset. Yin Xuan had played to her heart’s content. Closing her comically swollen eyes, she fell into a deep sleep in the passenger seat.

 

Outside the window, the trees receded. School hours had long passed. The roads were filled with the exhausted faces of commuters, dragging their bodies toward the subway to head home.

 

Upon arriving, Yin Yunzhu carried Yin Xuan upstairs on her back. Shan Songyue was already waiting. Seeing them return so late, she couldn’t help but ask, “Why are you back so late? The other kids finished school ages ago.”

 

“I took her for a walk around the mall.” Yin Yunzhu placed the girl on the sofa. Yin Xuan let out a soft moan as she was moved, turning over to curl into a corner.

 

“Xiao Xuan knows about your situation. Don’t put too much pressure on her,” she added, shaking out her coat and draping it over her shoulders.

 

Shan Songyue hadn’t quite processed the first sentence before being stunned by the second. “Where are you going this late? Stay home tonight.”

 

“No,” Yin Yunzhu put her keys in her pocket and pushed open the door. “I have something to take care of. I might not come back to sleep tonight.”

 

Leaving those words behind, she left the house.

 

The early spring night wasn’t warm. The bushes rustled with the sound of insects under the streetlights. Yin Yunzhu ran to her car and opened the navigation for Jiang Menghe’s home.

 

She had only been there once, back in November of last year. Jiang Menghe seemed to guard her private space fiercely; afterward, most of their intimacy took place in hotels or, occasionally, at Yin Yunzhu’s apartment.

 

Now, Yin Yunzhu wanted to see her. She wanted to see her right now.

 

She wanted to tell her that she didn’t have to carry it all alone. Since her own whims and temper had been indulged, she should also be considerate of Jiang Menghe’s struggles. This time, face to face, they had to make things clear.

 

Yin Yunzhu was usually a steady driver, but perhaps because her emotions were running high, her grip on the steering wheel felt a bit loose tonight. The piercing red of taillights filled her vision, and with the adrenaline surge, her heart hammered like a drum.

 

Riyue Mingyuan was built in the heart of the city where land was worth its weight in gold. In recent years, it had become a favorite for the wealthy and powerful. A man-made lake separated the villa area from the regular residential buildings, presenting a scene of extravagant decadence at night.

 

She parked her car outside and called Jiang Menghe over a dozen times, but none were answered. She had to negotiate with security and even leave her ID as collateral before she was finally allowed through.

 

Following her memory, Yin Yunzhu stood at the bottom of the building, suddenly feeling a surge of cowardice. She hesitated as she stepped onto the stairs, unsure of how to even open her mouth when she saw Jiang Menghe.

 

Would seeking reconciliation so humbly make the other woman look down on her?

 

No—even as a regular friend, if someone ran into trouble after a conflict, one would visit out of concern.

 

What if she wasn’t home? Wouldn’t her impulsive actions tonight become a joke?

 

After thinking it over, Yin Yunzhu decided she would rather it be a joke than live with the regret. She finally summoned the courage and knocked on Jiang Menghe’s door.

 

The heavy knocking was exceptionally clear in the quiet hallway. Three times, and no one answered.

 

Just as Yin Yunzhu was feeling disappointed and turned to leave, the sound of the lock turning came from behind her.

 

The lights from the room and the hallway met, cutting a faint line by her feet. Jiang Menghe was as she always was: her long, straight black hair held up by a wooden hairpin, her features appearing cold under the cool-toned light.

 

Their eyes met, and for a moment, there was silence.

 

It was Jiang Menghe who broke it first. She rubbed her temple and sighed, “Why are you here?”

 

From her tone, she clearly didn’t want to see her.

 

The spark that had been dancing in Yin Yunzhu’s heart dimmed slightly. She realized her visit tonight was indeed abrupt and awkwardly searched for excuses in her mind.

 

“Can I come in?”

 

Her lips curved up, forcing a faint smile. She looked as submissive as a small animal seeking peace, making it hard to refuse. Her round, wet eyes flickered in the backlight. Yin Yunzhu stared at her toes, her voice as thin as a mosquito’s buzz.

 

“I want to come in and talk to you.”

 

Her soft voice held a stubbornness that wouldn’t quit until she reached her goal. She usually knew her boundaries, but in front of Jiang Menghe, she had lost all composure.

 

The woman’s eyes were dark, and as she leaned against the doorframe, she showed no intention of stepping aside.

 

“Yin Yunzhu,” she seemed to sigh, but her tone was as cold as ice. “I think we are finished.”

 

The words pierced Yin Yunzhu’s ears, and her heart twisted with a sharp ache. She lowered her head, suppressing the urge to cry. She had thought the coldness this morning was just anger, but now it seemed Jiang Menghe truly wanted to end the relationship.

 

Even the farewell was so gentle that it tempted her to try and save it.

 

“Can’t I…” Yin Yunzhu’s mouth felt bitter, her voice wavering piteously. “Can’t I just come as a friend to check on you?”

 

She took a deep breath, her nose turning red. “I know about everything.”

 

“I’m sorry I didn’t notice anything was wrong before and kept pestering you to stay with me. I know I’m willful and caused you a lot of trouble, crossing the line over and over wanting more…”

 

“If you had told me all this sooner, I wouldn’t have judged you. That ‘I like you’ wasn’t just sweet talk; I meant it.”

 

At the very least, Jiang Menghe had underestimated her resolve to walk beside her.

 

Yin Yunzhu didn’t know how to define this relationship. It was as hazy as winter morning dew, destined to vanish once the sun rose. She couldn’t grasp Jiang Menghe; she only ever had a superficial understanding of her. It was as if Jiang wore a mask of benevolence; no matter how intimate or deep they went, there was still a membrane that couldn’t be breached.

 

From surface-level physical attraction to soul resonance—it sounded like a plot from a soap opera to anyone else, yet it had truly happened between them. She was uncontrollably attached to Jiang Menghe’s gentleness, craving her warmth, wanting to permeate her life even more, wanting to see her face every morning when she woke up.

 

Jiang Menghe was mature; she knew how to make her happy and how to absorb her willful temper. Their dramatic meeting had already tied them together, making it hard to part.

 

She stood in the hallway, her eyes rimmed with red, seeking an answer.

 

Her nose caught a strong scent of nicotine. Yin Yunzhu was sensitive to the smell; it seemed to wrap around her lungs and squeeze out the fresh air. She had only seen the intellectual and dignified side of Jiang Menghe, but she had also considered that when the woman was dejected, she would also strip away her disguise.

 

Her breathing grew rapid as she saw Jiang Menghe’s features relax, a smile playing on her lips that didn’t reach her eyes.

 

“Yin Yunzhu, why should I tell you?”

 

“What status do you have? From what position do you have the right to manage my affairs?”

 

The woman smiled, each question ruthlessly shattering Yin Yunzhu’s illusions. Her sharp features radiated a heartless indifference, as if she couldn’t even be bothered to show a fake kindness.

 

Hearing this, Yin Yunzhu was frozen in place, her legs feeling like lead. Her voice trembled. “We… we were at least together once—”

 

Before she could finish, Jiang Menghe cut her off heartlessly.

 

“Yin Yunzhu, have you misinterpreted my actions? I never admitted we were ‘together’.”

 

“Oh, you mean the constant concern and greetings?” Her gaze shifted slightly, her shoulders shaking as she laughed. “Have you never flirted in bed?”

 

“I thought your ‘I like you’ was just to make me happy.”

 

These words undoubtedly threw Yin Yunzhu’s exposed heart to the ground and trampled on it, devaluing it to nothing. They turned her proactive attempt at reconciliation today into a trophy to show off how charming Jiang was.

 

A surge of pain like a tide attacked her heart, forcing Yin Yunzhu to bend over to ease the ache. Tears burst from her eyes and dripped onto the floor, reflecting her miserable state. In front of Jiang Menghe, she had even lost her dignity.

 

“Jiang Menghe, I just rushed over and I’m not wearing much,” Yin Yunzhu hugged herself, unable to stop shaking. “I’m so cold…”

 

“So annoying,” Jiang Menghe frowned and let out a soft “tch”. “Do I really have to be that blunt?”

 

“I never liked you. Not before, not now, and certainly not ever. Please stop bothering me.”

 

“Being this clingy is really—” Jiang Menghe’s hand, hidden in her sleeve, curled slightly. In the end, she couldn’t bring herself to say the word.

 

“Yin Yunzhu, I really find you annoying right now.”

 

It was a final ultimatum, a death sentence for any future possibility between them.

 

“So not even basic concern is allowed?”

 

“No.”

 

Yin Yunzhu suddenly felt like a joke. She let herself be hysterical, while Jiang Menghe stood high above, admiring her reaction. At the very least, it shouldn’t have been like this—not at the final moment.

 

She tilted her head slightly to adjust her emotions, taking a step back to create distance. “I didn’t come here today with any other intention. I just wanted to greet you. Seeing that you’re okay, I’m relieved.”

 

Jiang Menghe pursed her lips and turned her face away. “I don’t need it.”

 

“Jiang Menghe!” Yin Yunzhu rarely showed such impulsiveness and lack of control. Now, on the edge of a breakdown, her voice rose. “You keep saying you don’t need it, but what about your friends? What about your manager? Did they run over here in the middle of the night just hoping to see that you’re well?”

 

“What would it cost you to give me even a fraction of the patience you show them!”

 

“Without me, who would care about you!”

 

The hurtful words came out like a sword piercing both their hearts. Jiang Menghe clenched her hands and laughed.

 

“Yes, I deserve to have no one care about me until I die. Are you satisfied now?”

 

“Even so, I don’t need your charity.”

 

“Don’t be so self-righteous.”