It's Too Late for Regrets - Chapter 11.7

“…I will. I just suddenly remembered something. You should eat too. You as well, Caesar.”

 

“I will. After I see you eat.”

 

“Me too!”

 

It wasn’t just her husband and son who were watching Ines eat.

 

Even the maids lined up against one wall and the head chef at the front of the group were nervously watching her.

 

It felt like saying one wrong word here could cause a disaster. Or maybe that was just her imagination.

 

Feeling the pressure, Ines brought the fork to her mouth. All the eyes followed the piece of lamb and asparagus heading into her mouth.

 

She chewed and swallowed the tender meat and quickly gave her opinion.

 

“It’s delicious. The chef is really talented.”

 

“Phew…”

 

The head chef let out a sigh of relief without realizing and then hiccupped in surprise.

 

“Hic! Thank you, Your High— I mean, Lady Ines.”

 

“Just Ines is fine.”

 

“Uh? Oh, yes. Understood.”

 

Rayan looked like he wanted to say something about how she was addressed, but only added quietly,

 

“Try the other dishes too. I didn’t know what you’d like, so I told them to prepare everything… If there’s something you especially like, let me know. I’ll make sure they focus on that next time.”

 

“Alright.”

 

Ines looked at her son’s anxious face and sighed deeply inside.

 

During the short walk from the bedroom to the dining room, her mind had become complicated.

 

It started when she heard that Rayan hadn’t been sleeping well.

 

As she cut her steak, she glanced at him.

 

From what Caesar said, it didn’t seem like Rayan was secretly plotting something without her knowing.

 

‘So Kian didn’t come just because he hadn’t fallen asleep…?’

 

Ines looked at Rayan cutting Caesar’s steak into small pieces with mixed feelings.

 

Honestly, what troubled her the most wasn’t Rayan’s insomnia.

 

He pretended not to care, but… Caesar clearly cared about his father.

 

It was a hard truth for her to accept.

 

In her memories, Caesar had never been close to his father.

 

But for the two years she was gone, Caesar had depended on Rayan.

 

The Archduke had been so devoted to the boy that even rumors of his affection spread across the Empire. Caesar must’ve naturally grown attached to him.

 

Besides, Rayan… couldn’t have just ignored a child left alone after his mother died.

 

If Rayan had shown even a little neglect toward Caesar, she wouldn’t have felt even a hint of sympathy for him…

 

But finding out that wasn’t the case left her feeling disoriented.

 

Maybe she was the one who didn’t know Caesar well.

 

Swallowing the last piece of meat, Ines pressed down on her emotions.

 

“…I’m thinking of going to La Celia Cathedral.”

 

“The cathedral?”

 

Rayan paused while pushing lemon juice toward Caesar.

 

“Why the cathedral?”

 

“There’s something I need to know.”

 

“Like what?”

 

“There was something the sorcerers from Jenaire said when they kidnapped me. I think they used a word from the church. I want to find out if the mysterious power they had came from there.”

 

“The most direct way to find out would be to meet them in person, but… I’m sure you already took care of all of them.”

 

There wasn’t a single Jenaire sorcerer left in the estate.

 

Rayan must’ve dealt with them himself that day she was kidnapped.

 

And judging by the state he was in when he found her, they probably didn’t die peacefully.

 

But… did he really kill all of them?

 

Ines softened her tone slightly, thinking of Caesar.

 

“Is there anyone left I can still talk to?”

 

Even if they weren’t in perfect physical condition, as long as they had a working mind and tongue, she could try to speak to them.

 

But Rayan cut off her hope without hesitation.

 

“No, there’s no one left. They were threats to you, so of course they died on the spot—”

 

“Rayan. Your words.”

 

Ines quickly pressed a finger to her lips and frowned. Rayan awkwardly changed what he was going to say.

 

“It was… hard to let them live.”

 

Caesar widened his eyes and looked back and forth between them.

 

Then, as if realizing something, his mouth hung open, then he clamped it shut and started picking at his plate again.

 

Ines slowly nodded.

 

“Well… I understand. I expected that, so I’m not surprised.”

 

“…So, what are you planning to do at the cathedral?”

 

She didn’t answer that question right away. Instead, she finished the food on her plate.

 

Despite a bad feeling, Rayan felt a bit relieved to see how much she ate.

 

He had pushed the chef since dawn, worried she might not touch anything like before.

 

Ines finally answered Rayan after the desserts were cleared from the table.

 

Caesar, now sleepy from the meal, was handed off to Berry and sent upstairs.

 

Just as Ines finished her cake, she said,

 

“I think the priests’ blessing might help me recover my memories.”

 

Her voice was calm, but Rayan’s heart dropped.

 

“I spoke with Caesar yesterday and today, and I realized I don’t know much about him.”

 

“….”

 

“I may never fully know how Caesar lived during those two years without me. But I want to recover all the memories from before that as soon as possible.”

 

And she needed to regain her original powers too.

 

Only then could she protect herself and Caesar wherever they were.

 

She didn’t want to be helplessly swept away by events again.

 

“I’d like to meet with a high priest… Rayan?”

 

Ines trailed off like she was speaking to herself, but when she sensed a strange silence, she looked over at him.

 

A crooked smile formed on her lips.

 

“Why do you look like that?”

 

As if… you’re afraid I’ll remember.

 

“Are you worried?”

 

“You said you loved me.”

 

Rayan had said that.

 

That was his answer on their last night in the Forest of Rosram when she held a knife to his neck.

 

That there wasn’t enough time left for her, and he didn’t realize it. That was the only crack between them.

 

“Then there’s no problem, right? Or is there?”

 

“…Right. No problem.”

 

Rayan’s moment of hesitation disappeared quickly. He smiled like nothing had happened.

 

“I’ll send a letter to the Bishop of La Celia Cathedral. As long as it’s not during mass, you should be able to meet and talk with him.”

 

“Thank you.”

 

“If you’re going out, you’ll need an outfit. Should we take care of that today?”

 

“…Okay.”

 

Rayan stood up and held out his hand to her. His left hand was unscarred and clean.

 

 

Rayan truly didn’t seem to want to stop her from visiting the cathedral.

 

In fact, the very day she brought it up, he wrote a letter to the Archbishop of La Celia, and a few days later, he personally took her there.

 

‘…He’s so hard to figure out.’

 

Ines studied the man sitting across from her in the carriage.

 

The anxiety he showed during their meal a few days ago was completely gone.

 

What had made him so calm all of a sudden?

 

Rayan met her gaze and smiled warmly.

 

“The hat suits you. You look beautiful.”

 

Yesterday, a famous tailor from the capital had come to take her and Caesar’s measurements.

 

Apparently Rayan had informed them in advance that she’d need clothes for an outing, so a dress had been delivered that morning.

 

As Berry helped her get dressed, she was overcome with emotion and kept repeating the same words.

 

<Getting you ready to go out… I never thought this day would come. I really didn’t.>

 

Berry was so fired up, it felt like she was preparing her mistress for her very first outing.

 

So Ines had no choice but to let Berry style her from head to toe.

 

Her short, neatly cut black hair was glossy, and her pale cheeks and lips now had a soft glow.

 

With her eyes downcast, she looked like a delicately crafted doll.

 

“You’re trying to enchant me on purpose, aren’t you?”

 

When she looked up at his sudden words, he was gazing at her without even trying to hide what he felt.

 

His expression was a mix of excitement, nervousness, and maybe even slight dissatisfaction…

 

Leaning in toward her, Rayan reached out.

 

He brushed her hair under the hat and gently touched the corner of her lips. A faint red stain appeared on his white gloves—her lip color must’ve smudged.

 

Rayan stared at it and sighed softly.

 

“I wish no one else could see your face. Whether man or woman.”

 

“Why?”

 

“Because you’re beautiful. I want to be the only one who sees you.”

 

She had lost count of how many times he had called her beautiful over the past few days.

 

By yesterday, she gave up trying.

 

And the expression and gaze he showed each time he said it made it impossible to think he wasn’t being sincere.

 

It didn’t feel like a calculated move to win her favor, but rather something even he couldn’t help.

 

Still, while the compliment was satisfying, Ines couldn’t help but question Rayan’s taste at least once.

 

There were plenty of women far more beautiful than her—why was he so taken with her?

 

“Next time, I don’t think I need to dress up this much. It feels like too much.”

 

“You’re the only one who doesn’t see yourself that way.”

 

“There’s Edgar too.”

 

The name slipped out and she fell silent.

 

Rayan leaned back in his seat and spoke like it was the most obvious thing.

 

“People who are like Lezan and Eleanor themselves are chasing after you… Even if someone new comes along, I wouldn’t be surprised.”

 

“….”

 

“I’m afraid someone will take you away from me at any moment. You’ll never understand how that feels.”

 

A very gloomy sigh followed.