I Refuse This Life, Your Highness! - Chapter 90

Before I knew it, Revien had entered the room. He walked toward the bed and, with a calm expression, looked at me before speaking again.

“I think the same, Yuraine.”

“……”

“I’m sorry for everything.”

It was the same apology as Riseon’s.

The kind of apology that leaves me unsure of what to say.

Then Revien continued.

“I will live my life thinking about the debt I owe you. But…”

The word “but” in such sentences is usually a sign that something unpleasant is about to follow.

“I have to return to Airden. I can’t leave my parents like that… I’ll live my life being sorry, but I can’t act like Riseon.”

See? Just like that.

“Do you understand?”

He expects me to understand. Of course, I know that I can’t point out what exactly they did wrong. But I didn’t expect this kind of apology. I never asked for it in the first place.

“It’s fine.”

“Yurein.”

“To be honest, I… don’t expect anything from you.”

When I spoke frankly, Revien’s expression subtly hardened. Strangely, he seemed a bit hurt. That fact only made me feel more uncomfortable.

Riseon, understanding Revien’s words, remained silent. Both my words and Revien’s shocked reaction seemed to be understood by both of them. I turned my gaze toward the brother who might never walk again… the one who had sacrificed so much for me.

The vision that Riseon had brought to me must have been the best solution he could think of. Half of me wasn’t fully accepted by Airden, or perhaps, I was only recognized as part of it on the surface. He wanted to give me legitimacy.

But now, honestly, I wasn’t sure what it was worth. I’ve lived all this time with magic that I can’t even use, and now, after learning the vision, what could I even do? Riseon’s leg… what was it for? For whom? For me.

I shook my head as if to shake off the complicated feelings.

“Rest, Riseon. I’m glad your complexion looks better. And Revien, let me know when your departure date is set. I’ll prepare. If you’re leaving today, tell me now.”

“I don’t need a carriage. A horse will do.”

“Alright… I’ll go now.”

The horses that Revien and Riseon had ridden were so exhausted they collapsed and died. One of them had been Revien’s treasured horse. In the end, both of them lost something precious. As I closed the door and stepped out, I heard a faint argument coming from inside. I quickened my pace, trying to escape the sound.

The Duke must be busy with state affairs. I held back the urge to act spoiled and headed to my room. I thought that focusing on work would distract me, but when I picked up the quill, the letters in front of me seemed to float like they were drifting in the air.

After barely finishing the work and preparing for Revien’s departure, I went to meet Leia and spent another hour without results. I thought Leia might find it frustrating, but surprisingly, she didn’t.

“Actually, I was frustrated until last time, but now I kind of understand. You don’t need to use magic immediately. You can take your time to learn it.”

“…Thank you for saying that.”

Her words of comfort were truly appreciated, especially when I was emotionally drained. After finishing the afternoon tasks, it was time for my martial arts training. This was also when I would meet the Duke. I changed into my training clothes and, with lighter steps than when I had left Riseon’s room in the morning, made my way to the indoor training hall.

The Duke was already there, dressed lightly. The knights always used the outdoor training grounds even in the middle of winter, so the indoor hall was empty. It felt like the air was vibrating with the Duke, Sir Leon, and me as the only ones present in the large space.

The Duke made me sit down while he loosened his body and began explaining vital points on a person’s body. His fingers tapped various places on my body.

“Especially… the face can be considered a vital point. If you could only strike one spot on your opponent’s body, aiming for the eyes would be the most effective. It’s the biggest and softest target.”

“……”

Hearing the eyes described like that sent a chill down my spine.

“Besides, you’ve already experienced it, haven’t you?”

The Duke’s playful tone made Sir Leon laugh. Was this something to laugh at? I had once used Sir Leon’s sword to poke out Erma’s eye. Now that I thought about it, what about Erma?

“Your Grace, what about Erma?”

“I’ve already burned her.”

“……”

The Duke spoke so calmly, as if it was no different from when he had burned the bear pelt the Emperor had discarded. He moved on from the topic of Erma and continued speaking.

“By the way, it’s not recommended to target the eyes when you’re holding a large weapon, like Sir Leon’s sword. How was it for you?”

“…It was hard.”

I glanced at the sword Sir Leon wore at his waist. The knights’ swords were heavy enough that I could barely lift one with both hands. Using it to poke someone’s eye out was definitely difficult. Since I lacked strength, the blade didn’t move the way I intended. Even when I applied weight, it sank too deeply, and I was too scared to continue.

“When aiming for the eyes, use something small and sharp… even a hairpin would do. Anything like that will suffice. Or, if it’s really a life-or-death situation and you have nothing else, just think of it as something that isn’t human in front of you.”

The Duke took my hand and placed it near his own eye.

“Push it in.”

“……”

A shiver ran down my spine. It felt as if I could sense a touch I had never experienced before. As I turned pale, the Duke smiled.

“You’ll have to get used to it. The more you know things like this, the less uneasy I’ll be when you’re alone.”

It felt like being treated like a child left by the water’s edge. Well, it was to be expected, but still.

“I’ll try my best.”

I gently brushed the Duke’s eyelids with my fingertips. The Duke briefly lowered his eyes, then opened them again, continuing to loosen my body.

“This area is also quite a critical vital point. If you’re hit with something as hard as a rock, it could cause a significant injury. If you’re lucky, your collarbone might break.”

He spoke while touching the point where my shoulder meets the end of my collarbone. After that, as he continued to loosen my body, he kept identifying other vital points all over my body. The human body truly had countless vital points.

“But when you’re in an actual emergency, none of this might come to mind, so it’s important to train yourself to react instinctively.”

“That’s true. If a bigger opponent comes at you and threatens you, you might freeze. In that case, you’d be unable to do anything in the moment. Plus, Your Grace, your height… huh?”

Sir Leon suddenly stopped speaking and stared at me.

“What’s wrong?”

I tilted my head and asked, and he approached me. Just as I stood up to face the Duke, he looked at both of us, then exclaimed in awe.

“Your Grace, when did you grow so tall?”

“……”

It was true that I had grown taller. Resili and Bohen had insisted that I needed all new indoor clothes, so the tailor had visited last month, and I had just called the tailor again recently. Lamia, even after turning twenty, tends to grow taller. But in the past three months or so, this level of growth had never happened before, not in any of my past lives.

It must have been because I was in good health and felt more at ease than in previous lives. I had grown tall enough to reach around the Duke’s chin. When Sir Leon stepped closer, I was now at his lips and nose.

I thought I had reached an average height. Among Lamia, I was on the taller side. Maybe I would grow a bit more.

“Hm, no wonder… I thought you looked more beautiful standing today than usual.”

“Your Grace.”

“I thought maybe it was because I love you more now, but you really have become more beautiful.”

“Should I leave?”

Sir Leon interrupted with a grimace. I barely stopped him, then we continued with the self-defense and swordsmanship lessons. I was still stuck on practicing swings. Swing once, swing twice, swing diagonally…

After the lesson, I sighed and asked Sir Leon.

“When do I move on from the swings?”

“It should be possible soon.”

“Really?”

“Yes, and once the swings are done, you’ll move on to cutting.”

“……”

Hearing that didn’t fill me with hope, so I washed myself off and saw Revien off. It was already night, and everything around me was completely dark. Leaving at this late hour wasn’t a good idea. I tried to convince him to leave in the early morning instead, but Revien didn’t listen.

“I won’t be able to leave if it gets any later.”

“……”

With that ambiguous statement, Revien left, telling me to take care of Riseon, then mounted his horse and left the Duke’s castle. Not long after returning to the office, I was informed that Revien had safely passed through the castle gates.

Around 10 o’clock, the Duke came to my room. Finally, I was able to act spoiled and indulge him. We took a leisurely bath together, had a light snack, and when we lay in bed together, I couldn’t think of anything at all. We both smelled good, the feather bedding was infinitely cozy, and the Duke’s body was warmer than the heater.

I thought about telling him about what had happened with my brothers earlier, but I decided against it. Maybe Sir Leon had already told him, but I didn’t want to disturb this peaceful time.

The Duke, as if to lull me to sleep, continued to gently pat me when he suddenly spoke.

“Shall we go out for a bit tomorrow?”

“Where to?”

“A bit farther than the place we saw the white monster last time.”

I was surprised and looked up at him. He was suggesting we go to the monster’s territory.

“Why there?”

“That place is land where contamination doesn’t matter. In fact, it’s better for the monsters, so it’s a good place. I thought we could practice magic there.”

“Ah…”

It was definitely a good idea. The Duke wouldn’t be affected by my magic, and if I couldn’t control the blood and it spread around, only the monsters would die.

“If you’re really worried, I’ll stay a bit farther away.”

“…Yes.”

I had never used the power of mist before. So my lessons with Leia had been sluggish. But if I tried it even once, wouldn’t it change? Wouldn’t I be able to get used to the sensation?

After some thought, I nodded.

“Alright.”

“Good. Then, you should rest early, since we need to wake up early.”

The Duke pulled me closer and gently rubbed my back. My heart raced with worry and anxiety, but I tossed and turned for a while before finally falling asleep.

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