I Refuse This Life, Your Highness! - Chapter 91

It didn’t take long to ride to the location. I was once again reminded of how dangerous the location of Isser Duke’s estate was and how well the Duke protected it. The northern hunting grounds, which I thought were deep and dark, felt nothing compared to this place.

The frost that remained without melting, the constant biting cold wind that penetrated through my clothes, the straight birch trees with their dry branches stretching out long, the dark earth frozen and discolored.

And the sky was overcast, with not a single sound of birds.

Even in the middle of winter, a place where not a single sound of life could be heard. This was proof that this was the land of monsters. At first, the Duke had planned to ride separately, but after realizing the danger, he had me ride in front of him.

After all, I had once fallen from a cliff when I was reckless on my own…

Dismounting together, I touched the only sign of life in this place, the birch tree. The smooth bark felt so cold that I had to pull my hand away almost immediately.

“This birch is a native species found only in the Isser Duke’s territory.”

“Hmm… It seems to have strong vitality.”

“No. Even after it dies, it maintains its form. It could be considered a monster tree.”

“……”

I shook my hand from the cold bark and quickly moved closer to the Duke. He let out a small laugh.

“It’s not completely dead, though. Half of it is just the remains, and half of it is still alive. Well, this one is still living.”

The Duke took my hand and placed it on another birch tree that looked the same as the others. Even though we were in the cold winter forest, I distinctly felt warmth, not real warmth, but something like the heartbeat of life.

“Shall we walk for a bit? …Are you scared?”

The Duke, holding the reins of his dark horse, Herta, asked me. I shook my head. There was nothing to be afraid of with the Duke right next to me. Well, it wasn’t that I wasn’t scared at all, but…

The Duke, holding the reins with one hand and my hand with the other, walked slowly through the birch forest—half-dead trees, slowly growing. As we walked, I realized just how much noise there usually is in the forest—birds, animals, insects, grass rustling… But here, all I could hear was the sound of dry branches weakly swaying in the cold wind.

That sound of crackling was almost like something being scraped or cut away, making me shudder. I had never been in a place where I couldn’t feel the presence of any living things.

“It feels like everything here is dead.”

“Only the monsters are alive.”

Monsters, though alive, were creatures of death. Most monsters spread the death energy they carry to their surroundings. That’s why, in a place like this, where monsters thrive, not even a single insect remained.

“I think they’re near.”

The Duke, letting go of the reins and leaving Herta next to the living birch, drew his sword. The sound of metal scraping against metal echoed through the forest. Just a glance was enough to see that the sword was heavy, one that would be difficult for me to lift even with both hands. Yet, the Duke held it with one hand as if it were a practice sword.

I shifted from his right to his left.

“Do you think you can do it?”

“…I’ll try.”

I would use my power on the monsters. This was a place where spilling the blood wouldn’t matter. There was no life around here, and the monsters’ death energy had already filled the land. The frozen earth, devoid of any plants, told me that.

So, it should work. I didn’t want to disappoint the Duke.

“Over there, there’s a monster called an Extreme Ice Dweller. About five of them.”

“Extreme… Ice Dweller? Why the name?”

“Monster names are based on how they look or what they do. There’s an old legend about monsters that looked like humans living at the poles of the continent. The description of those monsters matched the appearance of these, so they’re called Extreme Ice Dwellers.”

“Giving them names like that makes them seem too human, and it’s unsettling.”

The Duke smiled.

“There are many monsters with ‘human’ in their names. They take human forms, big or small.”

It was a bit unsettling. I glanced at the direction the Duke was pointing. There was no sign of movement yet, but just as I was looking, the Duke suddenly rushed ahead, kicking the dirt and charging toward a pile of rocks.

He disappeared behind it, and after a few sounds of metal scraping against flesh, he shouted.

“Yuraine, get ready!”

It was time to prepare to use magic. I tensed up, feeling my blood move beneath my skin, as if it was pulsing in time with my heartbeat. If I could release it like mist and wrap it around the monster’s body, it would be over. It was a simple task.

A simple task. Yes, it was simple. I kept muttering that to myself, keeping my eyes on the direction of the Duke’s voice. Soon, from behind the rocks, a grotesque human-like creature popped out.

Its build was similar to a human’s, but its entire body was covered in fur, and its face, too, was obscured by thick fur, making its eyes, nose, and mouth invisible. Its limbs were unnaturally long, with twisted claws growing as long as my fingers, and its feet were excessively large for its body. It charged toward me.

I need to use my power. I need to use magic. There was no sign of the Duke now. If I can’t do this, I have to envelop the area with mist. I need to kill it by attacking… but my whole body stiffened.

No. Why… why can’t I do it?

No matter how hard I tried, the magic didn’t pour out of me. I could understand it theoretically. The blood would be released from my body in the form of light, and I would change it into mist to attack my opponent. Such a simple thing, but I couldn’t make it happen. It felt like I had wings but couldn’t fly because I hadn’t learned how.

I couldn’t fly, that was exactly it. I felt like a foolish bird trying to leap off the ground but failing to lift off. No matter what I did, I couldn’t use magic. I couldn’t change my blood into light and release it. It was as if I had never been able to do it, and it couldn’t be done no matter how hard I tried.

In the meantime, the monster was right in front of me. I squeezed my eyes shut. The creature’s long, twisted claws were about to rake across me when, suddenly, blood splattered before my eyes. The cold weather made the blood feel even warmer as it drenched my body. The blood of the Extreme Ice Dweller was as red as a human’s, with a stench of decay.

“Yuraine!”

The Duke kicked the dead monster’s body aside and pulled me into his arms.

“Are you alright? There’s another group inside, so I couldn’t come out immediately. I’m so, so sorry.”

The Duke’s voice was urgent. The smell of blood was overwhelming. I tried to open my mouth, but as soon as I parted my lips, I felt like the blood in my mouth would flood out, so I couldn’t speak. The Duke wiped the blood from my face with his cloak. Only then could I properly see. The Duke looked at me with a desperate expression, unsure of what to do. It wasn’t as if I had suffered some huge injury; I had just gotten a little blood on me.

“I’m fine, Your Grace.”

As soon as I spoke, the smell of blood became even stronger. I had covered myself in more blood than when the Emperor had thrown wolf’s blood on me. My whole body felt drenched.

“I’ll take you back right away.”

The Duke tried to wipe the blood from the visible parts of my face with his cloak, but before he could finish, the cloak became soaked in blood and useless. He didn’t mind that I was covered in blood and helped me onto his horse. Herta swiftly made its way down the icy path.

“Oh my goodness, Your Grace!”

Bohen and Resili looked at me with such shock, they almost fainted. While Resili prepared the bath, Bohen stripped me of my clothes and cleaned me with a hot towel. Even though he carefully wiped my hair, once I entered the bath, blood splattered everywhere.

“I didn’t intend for this to happen.”

The Duke, who had joined me in the tub, spoke with a tone of distress. But, honestly, he wasn’t the one who caused it. It was my fault as a successor who couldn’t even use basic magic. I wasn’t as horrified by being drenched in blood as I was by the self-loathing that filled me.

The Duke led me to the place where the water was flowing, filling a large basin with clean water and pouring it over my head and body to wash me. After several uses of bath oil that smelled strongly of flowers and fruits, he lathered it up and carefully washed my long hair, scrubbing from my fingertips to my toes.

Afterward, I stayed in the foamy bath for a while, and finally, I soaked in water with pink and yellow flowers, as well as orange slices, floating on the surface. I remained in the Duke’s arms the entire time. Anyone who saw us would probably think that something terrible had happened to me.

“I’m fine, Your Grace.”

“I’m not fine. I can’t believe I let you go through something like this, especially once when I was the one responsible.”

“…It’s a bit smelly, but I’m not hurt. It wasn’t a big deal.”

The shock I felt when the wolf’s neck was cut off came from seeing the severed neck. The fear that comes from seeing a severed neck is something that can’t be helped. The Duke must have thought that I hated seeing blood.

“Your Grace, it’s not that I hate all blood. It’s the severed neck I can’t stand.”

“……”

The Duke’s expression became strange. Hmm… Even I thought it was a bit odd.

“It just reminds me of when the neck was severed.”

The Duke’s expression twisted even further. I hadn’t meant to make him look like that. I quickly cupped his face with both hands.

“I just want to say I’m fine.”

“…Are you really okay?”

“Yes, just…”

“Just?”

“I feel a little foolish.”

“Why?”

“I couldn’t use magic at all.”

The Duke furrowed his brows.

“Why is that foolish?”

“I’m supposed to be a successor… but I couldn’t even figure out how to use magic.”

“Do you know why you couldn’t use it?”

“That’s…”

It was probably fear. The fear that my magic could only bring harm, the fear instilled in me by my parents. The thin glass bottle containing the plague’s germs. It was because of that fear that I couldn’t act recklessly. As I spoke a little about it, the Duke narrowed his eyes.

“Harmful magic, you say?”

“……”

“But that’s the same with a sword or magic. A sword can only harm or kill a person. If we talk about the immediate result, that’s the truth, isn’t it?”

“Even so, it’s different from this…”

The Duke gently stroked my wet hair.

“It’s not different at all. Starting tomorrow, you’ll learn with Leia and the Count. You’ve never used magic before, not once in your life. How many years has it been? The first was three years, the second was two, and sometimes shorter than that, so maybe about 27 years?”

Saying that made me feel like I was very old.

“It’s power you’ve never used for such a long time. It’s only natural that you can’t use it right away.”

“Is that so?”

The Duke nodded and kissed me. I was a little worried if I still smelled like blood. As he deeply buried his nose in my damp hair and kissed me, the Duke spoke the words I had wanted to hear.

“Of course, you always smell so good.”

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