After My Death, I Became a Heartless Madman - Chapter 6

The relationship between the two had cooled off like this, and soon it was time for the Special Operations Team to embark on their mission. Today marked the third day since Bai Ruowei had left the Inner City. The Song family primarily operated in the hotel business, and the best five-star hotel in the Inner City was their property. Song Shizhou held the position of executive manager—a title that sounded impressive but was, in reality, nothing more than a sinecure.

As she worked through the day’s tasks at her desk, Zhao found a moment to slip her a small potted plant.

Autumn in the Inner City was still quite cold, so a touch of green was a rare sight. Song Shizhou liked it.

Zhao scratched his head.

“You know that famous Lover’s Tree in Love Valley? It’s strange—these past few days, it actually sprouted new buds. I asked someone to bring back a cutting, and somehow it took root.”

“It’s not worth much, just a token of goodwill. Wishing you and your wife… a better and better relationship.”

Hearing that it was a cutting from the Lover’s Tree, Song Shizhou’s hand trembled imperceptibly. She said nothing, only thanked Zhao.

At this point, she wasn’t in the mood to fuss over such things, but she still let the little plant sit on her desk.

Would things really get better?

Song Shizhou didn’t know.

When she was in a restless mood, she liked to jot down random thoughts—letting her mind wander, writing whatever came to her, as a way to vent. She grabbed a scrap of paper from her desk and scribbled down her feelings for the day.

She started with what she had eaten in the morning, then moved on to what she had done before noon, before inexplicably circling back to Bai Ruowei. Before she knew it, she had written the character “Wei” over and over, her handwriting growing increasingly messy. Song Shizhou wanted to crumple the paper and throw it away, but in the end, she couldn’t bring herself to do it.

She had written many letters to Bai Ruowei before. Miss Bai was usually very busy—she would disappear without warning for long stretches, only to suddenly reappear on the small sofa at home, wrapped in a towel, her hair damp. Sometimes she carried the scent of blood, other times not. Holding a cup of tea, she would tell Song Shizhou about what she had been up to lately and where she had acquired new injuries.

Song Shizhou would bandage her wounds. Though Miss Bai had professionals to tend to her injuries, Song Shizhou never tired of this ritual. If Miss Bai was in a good mood, she would ask what Song Shizhou had been doing lately.

“Did you miss me?”

Miss Bai’s eyes would gleam. Song Shizhou believed she could snap a person’s neck with her bare hands, yet in Bai Ruowei’s gaze, she could detect a softness, a longing—

Like a stray cat that had been taken in, not yet accustomed to having a home, still prone to wandering out on instinct, but at least knowing where to return and who her owner was.

Song Shizhou didn’t know if their relationship could be considered normal. Before meeting Miss Bai, she had never been in love. Neither had Miss Bai… but she loved this dynamic, loved the feeling of the two of them curled up in their little home, quietly licking their wounds. She had assumed someone like Miss Bai would be lofty and untouchable, living in a lavish, temple-like residence as Feng Yu had described. Yet Miss Bai seemed… to enjoy this kind of life too.

But how long could this “abnormal” life last?

Song Shizhou’s heart ached with unease.

Because their time together was so scarce, she had grown accustomed to writing letters to Bai Ruowei—though none had ever been sent. When Miss Bai occasionally dropped by, she would take them out to read.

She would write letters to Bai Ruowei on anniversaries, on Valentine’s Day, on Bai Ruowei’s birthday, or just any random day. Those thin envelopes gradually piled up into a thick stack. Miss Bai kept every single one of them carefully. Later when she asked where those letters had gone, Bai Ruowei said she’d lost them—she couldn’t remember where she’d put them anyway.

Song Shizhou smiled faintly.

After a breakup, would these things be burned?

Her face flushed slightly as she coughed a few times.

She couldn’t bear to part with them.

If Miss Bai no longer wanted them, if she found them bothersome,

Then… it would be better to return them.

At least she would… treasure them properly.

……

Lately, she’d caught a slight chill from lack of proper rest, though she’d never paid much attention to her own health. During lunch break, Song’s Mother called, asking her to come home.

Song Shizhou had moved out of the Song family home years ago to live on her own. Her mother rarely called or invited her back for meals—because Mother didn’t much like her, she knew this well.

Song’s Mother was named Song Lanyi, the matriarch of the previous Song generation. Unlike the old-money aristocrats of the Inner City, the Song family had fallen on hard times for a period, surviving only through Song Lanyi’s sheer determination. Fortunately, Feng Yu had proven remarkably capable—now the Song family was far more powerful than before.

The study was where important matters were discussed. The housekeeper led Song Shizhou straight to the second floor. Pushing the door open, she saw Song Lanyi seated in the main chair. Sister Yu usually sat to her right, but today that seat was empty.

On her way up, Song Nianchu had told her that Song Fengyu had left—gone on a business trip to the Third District.

“You drove her away.”

Song Nianchu had never liked Song Shizhou. He lounged lazily in his chair, clearly anticipating some drama.

Song Shizhou said nothing, standing quietly before Song Lanyi.

Song Lanyi took a sip of tea.

“What’s going on between you and Miss Bai?”

Song Lanyi knew about Song Shizhou’s relationship with Bai Ruowei.

As a shrewd businesswoman, she recognized that having her daughter connected to Bai Ruowei could only benefit the family.

So, she had chosen to turn a blind eye.

“I heard you quarreled with Miss Bai? In matters of the heart, some things should be let go. Do I really need to teach you this?”

Song Shizhou smiled self-deprecatingly.

What kind of mother would say such things?

Unlike Song Fengyu, who wanted to bring Song Shizhou back home, Song Lanyi actually approved of their relationship—but only as a relationship. She didn’t care what role Song Shizhou played in it, whether she had dignity or happiness.

As long as there were benefits.

“Mom, I’m an adult now. You don’t need to instruct me on matters of the heart,” Song Shizhou replied calmly.

“If you didn’t need instruction, how did things end up like this? I never approved of this relationship from the beginning, though I thought… never mind.”

Song’s Mother’s expression darkened.

“From what Fengyu said, it seems there’s been some misunderstanding between you and Miss Bai. If you truly can’t get along, you should break up.”

She sighed.

“Shizhou, I know you resent me—for not treating you fairly. If you really want to break up with Miss Bai, I support you.”

“If Miss Bai causes trouble, I’ll intervene. Shizhou, no matter what, you’re my own flesh and blood. How could I abandon you? Miss Bai may be influential, but she’s not omnipotent yet.”

The words exploded like thunder in the study, startling even Song Nianchu, who had been watching the drama unfold from the sidelines.

“Mom, don’t you know who Bai Ruowei is? She has the entire Surveillance Institute behind her. The Song family has only just begun to recover these past few years—are we really going to…”

“Shut up. Song Shizhou is your own sister. You have no right to speak here.”

Song Nianchu stared at Song’s Mother in disbelief, then at Song Shizhou, before storming out in frustration, slamming the door behind her.

It wasn’t just Nianchu who was shocked—Shizhou was equally stunned. This was the first time since she returned to the Song family at the age of twelve that her mother had spoken up for her, considered things from her perspective.

Not once had she complained about Shizhou being slow, about her lack of proper education, about her awkward foreign pronunciation that embarrassed the family, about her not being beautiful enough to be paraded at high-society banquets like Feng Yu.

“Mom… do you really mean that?”

Shizhou smiled faintly, incredulous. But Song’s Mother quickly wiped the warmth from her expression. She signaled for her secretary to close the door, leaving only the two of them in the study.

“I’m settling this matter for you because I refuse to let the Song family be shamed by your actions. How could our family produce someone as shameless as you? Do you even realize the scandal you’ve caused?”

“I thought you were just a few years behind Feng Yu in your studies. I never imagined your very character was flawed. I don’t want to see you anymore. Once this is over, you will leave the Inner City. Feng Yu will inherit the Song family, and you will have no further involvement in its affairs.”

For those born into privilege, every kindness seems like a given. But for Shizhou, every scrap of goodwill, every smile directed her way, seemed to come with a hidden price.

She had expected her mother’s kindness to come with conditions—after all, a mother’s affection was never unconditional. But she hadn’t anticipated just how little Song’s Mother cared for her.

“I know you suffered in your youth, but you don’t have to keep tormenting me with it.”

Song’s Mother’s words sounded unnatural, as if she were trying to salvage something before Shizhou could even respond.

“Once you leave the Inner City, whether you go to the Third District or the Fifth District, our family has businesses there…”

“Mom,”

Shizhou cut her off.

“Have you ever thought that it might have been better if you’d never found me? Or if I had died from the abuse at the hands of the Lu family couple? That way, you’d only have Feng Yu as your daughter?”

Song’s Mother froze.

The teacup set on her desk had been a gift from Shizhou—bought with her own money. Shizhou’s talent for business was no worse than Feng Yu’s. She simply hadn’t been given the opportunities. The real reason Song Lanyi didn’t want her to take over the family business… was mostly due to her own selfishness.

She was afraid of losing Shizhou again.

Was she afraid? Truly afraid? Song Lanyi clenched her fists unconsciously. She was terrified Shizhou would vanish once more, terrified these past few years had been nothing but an illusion—what if Shizhou had died long ago?

During those sleepless nights when she first learned Feng Yu wasn’t her biological child, regret had gnawed at her every second, tormenting her to the brink of madness. She didn’t need Shizhou to be outstanding. If she could, she would pin Shizhou beneath her claws, keep her from moving, and make up for every moment she had missed as a mother.

Song Lanyi didn’t understand why she felt this way—why it had become almost pathological. Was it some kind of sickness of the heart?

The carefully selected set of teacups that Shizhou had picked out was still shattered. Song Lanyi grabbed one at random and threw it at Shizhou.

“Get out! Get out! Don’t let me see you again!”

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