Weakness Trap - Chapter 34

Yu Lingxue shuddered, but instead of resisting, she tilted her head to make it easier for Yu Qingluan to bite her.

“You can bite me,” she said with a sob, inhaling sharply. Though it hurt intensely, she felt an overwhelming sense of happiness.

“You can pinch me too. Qingluan can do anything she wants.” Yu Lingxue’s breathing grew slightly damp.

The room felt warmer than when she had first arrived, the heavy chill now dissipating.

A faint blush finally colored her cheeks, and with her unusually bright eyes, she looked even more pitiful than usual.

“Just like before is fine. Qingluan, I love you.” Mustering a bit of strength, Yu Lingxue clung to Yu Qingluan.

Yu Qingluan released her bite, two lines of tears streaming down her face.

She realized she truly felt the urge to love Yu Lingxue again, to continue hating her.

Yet, in this moment, both emotions converged into a single, overwhelming desire.

Yu Qingluan carried Yu Lingxue to the hotel bed.

In the past, seeing Yu Lingxue in such a state, she would never have laid a hand on her.

But times had changed. She no longer wanted to love Yu Lingxue; too much hatred had seeped into their relationship.

Yu Qingluan bit down on Yu Lingxue’s shoulder and neck.

She bit hard. The bone pressed against her teeth, stripping away any gentleness, compelling her to continue tormenting this pitiful soul someone who, despite her illness, had traveled thousands of miles just to find her,

Her ex.

Yu Qingluan refused to acknowledge their past relationship any longer.

She didn’t know why she was doing this now.

Perhaps Yu Lingxue’s words had swayed her.

Perhaps this past week had been too agonizing, like withdrawal, and she simply wanted to taste Yu Lingxue again, to give up on quitting this poisonous addiction.

“Little bird, I like you so much,” Yu Lingxue was in pain.

Yet the pain wasn’t unbearable. Instead,

It was like drinking ice in summer or burning firewood in winter.

Yu Lingxue was willing to endure even more pain to let it seep into her bones, flow through her blood. That would be even better.

She only wanted to etch Yu Qingluan deeply into her body and soul.

Her little bird didn’t respond to her affection. It didn’t matter. She would continue to love Yu Qingluan, fiercely and unconditionally.

“You can be even rougher. It’s okay, I can take it.” Compared to the anguish of losing Yu Qingluan, what was this pain?

Yu Lingxue exhaled softly.

Winter mist curled from her breath, drifting before Yu Qingluan’s eyes.

Yu Qingluan could no longer clearly see Yu Lingxue’s protruding ribs or her overly thin waist.

Her vision clung to the past, her mind sketching the image from her memories.

The image she had loved most.

Once again, an unnamed sorrow washed over Yu Qingluan, crushing her with even greater discontent.

When she touched Yu Lingxue’s skin, it felt as if love still lingered.

But in moments of fierce torment, it seemed only hatred remained.

She remembered how she had disliked Yu Lingxue this insolent person who had hitched a ride on her boat without showing any courtesy.

She remembered how, out of that dislike, she had secretly tracked her movements, arranging “chance” encounters.

She remembered the night of the first snow, when they had strolled together through the Ink Forest Garden. Her heart had raced uncontrollably, her tension unbearable, the person beside her was no longer someone she disliked, but someone she loved.

She remembered Yu Lingxue’s teasing kiss and her confession.

Yu Qingluan released her bite, breathing rapidly, her vision blurred with tears as she gazed at the Yu Lingxue she could no longer clearly see.

Who was the Yu Lingxue in her grasp now, truly?

Was it that contractual lover who loved to tease her, nibbling on her ear from behind, taking advantage of her shy and serious nature to playfully kiss her?

Was it that lover who would say they missed her every time they met, said they liked her, held her so tightly and warmly, kissing her lips over and over again, as if they truly loved her?

Or was it that ex who left without a word, as if they had never cared about her, disappointing her time and again, making her wait in vain, raising her hopes only to crush them with their own hands?

Yu Qingluan couldn’t see clearly anymore.

She could no longer see Yu Lingxue clearly, leaving only two trails of tears for her.

But Yu Lingxue tightened her embrace, holding her as if it were the past.

“Please, will you kiss me?” Yu Lingxue’s voice was faint and delicate, broken by gasps as it brushed against Yu Qingluan’s cheek.

“Please, Little Bird. I want your kiss.”

She mouthed the words.

It was something Yu Qingluan would never have dared to imagine before.

In the end, Yu Qingluan, weeping, bit down hard on Yu Lingxue’s lips.

She wanted to bite them off.

To devour her.

To wrap her in her embrace, to make her a part of herself.

That way she would never leave her again.

Yu Qingluan tasted a hint of blood. She couldn’t stop, nor did she ever want to stop again.

By the time it was over, Yu Lingxue was so exhausted she could barely keep her eyes open.

She clung to Yu Qingluan’s neck, unwilling to let go.

Yu Qingluan held her, feeling a mix of emotions she couldn’t quite grasp.

The bloodstains on the floor remained untouched.

They had even forgotten to turn on the lights. Now, Yu Qingluan could only see the satisfied blush on Yu Lingxue’s face and hear her faint sighs.

Yu Qingluan released her hold.

Yu Lingxue’s eyes snapped open like a baby placed in warm water by its mother, and with a sudden burst of strength, she tangled her arms around Yu Qingluan.

“Don’t go.” Yu Lingxue’s voice was pleading, tinged with tears and hoarseness.

All of it was Yu Qingluan’s doing.

“Cleaning up,” Yu Qingluan’s voice was also hoarse from crying.

She patted Yu Lingxue’s arm, gently laid her down, and silently cleaned up everything in the darkness.

Yu Lingxue lay on the bed, unable to see Yu Qingluan, unable to touch her beloved, unable to hear her breathing, unable to smell that familiar scent of oranges. She felt lost.

Then, clutching the blanket, she began to sob quietly.

After tidying up, Yu Qingluan instinctively cooked something for Yu Lingxue.

There wasn’t much in the hotel just two packs of instant noodles. Yu Qingluan made do with some snacks she had bought in the morning, mixing them in and cooking everything together.

When she brought the noodles back to Yu Lingxue, the corner of her clothes was immediately grabbed by a hand.

“Little Bird, is that you?” Yu Lingxue blinked hard, unable to see Yu Qingluan no matter how hard she tried.

Yu Qingluan turned on the light but said nothing, simply handing her the noodles.

“Eat a little,” Yu Qingluan said when she didn’t move.

Her words seemed to carry a command. Yu Lingxue picked up the bowl and began eating in small, delicate bites.

Yu Qingluan watched her.

It felt as if they had truly returned to the past.

She used to take care of Yu Lingxue, who never paid attention to her health, preparing warm meals for her frail lover after intimacy.

She herself wasn’t hungry, so she would sit and watch her lover eat, feeling perfectly content.

But Yu Qingluan’s heart still ached, burdened by a lingering, slow, yet ever-present pain that made it impossible for her to give Yu Lingxue a smile.

Yu Lingxue finally managed to finish this meal. Most of the time recently, she had been relying on nutrient infusions, occasionally being fed a few bowls of porridge. Even instant noodles had become delicious.

Perhaps it was simply because Yu Qingluan had prepared them for her.

Suddenly, a hand gently brushed aside the strands of hair by Yu Lingxue’s ear, tucking them behind it.

Yu Lingxue froze for a moment, then burst into tears.

“Qingluan.” Yu Lingxue turned to Yu Qingluan, her eyes brimming with tears after finishing the noodles.

Yu Qingluan did not smile. There was no love or hatred in her eyes, only an unsettling calm. Yu Lingxue sensed a trace of complexity in it.

So she didn’t ask Yu Qingluan whether they were truly back together.

If not today, what about a week from now? A month?

If she persisted, wouldn’t Yu Qingluan eventually come back to her?

Yu Lingxue put on her clothes and gave Yu Qingluan one last hug.

“I’ll come see you again tomorrow. Little Bird, remember to wait for me.”

She kissed Yu Qingluan’s earlobe, ignoring her trembling, and left her mark there.

As Yu Lingxue closed the door, Yu Qingluan covered her face.

She shouldn’t have allowed herself to sink into this.

But this feeling the taste of relapsing after withdrawal was far too tempting.

What should she do and what did Yu Lingxue mean by all this?

Had Yu Lingxue’s engagement with that person already been called off?

Yu Qingluan lay awake all night but still couldn’t figure out her decision.

The next evening, Yu Lingxue indeed returned.

At the same time, Yu Qingluan opened the door and was pulled into an embrace.

Then Yu Lingxue fiercely kissed Yu Qingluan’s lips, again and again.

Kissing her, tangled in passion, they lost track of time.

Sometimes, Yu Qingluan didn’t even know where she was.

Out of habit, she tried to go to the living room to find the kettle, only to realize after a few steps that she was in a hotel.

She turned back and was embraced by Yu Lingxue.

They always started inexplicably and ended just as inexplicably.

Yu Lingxue brought her warmth and intensity.

Like a cup of intensely bitter coffee with just a hint of sweetness yet that faint sweetness was enough to become addictive.

Yu Qingluan felt she was addicted.

A toxic, unhealthy addiction.

But she couldn’t stop.

As long as she didn’t think about that one week, it was as if Yu Lingxue was still by her side.

Forever, forever. Never leaving.

Another night passed. Yu Qingluan’s trip had ended, her school had been inspected, her accommodation settled, and she had familiarized herself with the locations of supermarkets and hospitals,

Yet during the latter half of her trip, eating, drinking, and having fun, she felt somewhat distracted, her mind constantly replaying Yu Lingxue’s expressions and voice.

It was as if Yu Lingxue was always following her, holding her, just like before, nibbling at her ear until it tingled, calling her “Little Bird,” and saying she loved her.

Perhaps every addiction was like this.

Withdrawal was too difficult. Once you indulged again, the thought of quitting simply vanished.

Yu Qingluan kissed Yu Lingxue’s hair. She loved this faint scent of roses so much.

“Little Bird, why are you in M Country?” Three or four days had passed. Yu Lingxue finally dared to ask this question.

“Traveling.” Yu Qingluan cupped her face, as if unwilling to touch even a shred of reality.

She wanted to say she was returning to Chu City tomorrow.

She also thought about not saying anything at all. After all, Yu Lingxue would find her.

“Did you have fun?” Yu Lingxue held her, her eyes seeming to read her thoughts, yet also as if they hadn’t fully grasped them.

Her complexion had improved significantly, no longer bearing only the pallid whiteness of a wall. It was warm and smooth, as if she had once been a piece of white jade.

Yu Qingluan had been preparing meals for her every day, and she ate them without hesitation.

“Mm.” Before Yu Qingluan could finish her response, she wanted to kiss Yu Lingxue again, to bite her neck, to bury her face in her hair and take a deep breath.

A knock sounded at the door.

Was it Zeng Lan? Yu Qingluan released her hold on Yu Lingxue, only to be tugged back slightly. Yu Lingxue’s hand, which had been resting on her arm, slipped away.

Yu Qingluan opened the door, and with a buzzing sound, it felt as if a cannon had exploded in her mind.

Yan Lanshen bowed to her.

“Sorry, I’ve come to pick someone up.” Yan Lanshen glanced into the room but didn’t quite look at Yu Lingxue, his gaze somewhat distant.

“It’s time for you to go back, Lingxue. The hospital is urging us urgently.”