Though I Don’t Recall It, I’ll Take Responsibility - Chapter 13

The door opened quietly.

Standing there was my brother. For a moment, time seemed to freeze, and he remained motionless. His gaze stayed fixed on the floor, refusing to look at my face.

In that breathless silence, my eyes instinctively drifted toward his forehead.

His hairline.

Ah, thank goodness. It hasn’t receded.

“A-Aira? Where exactly are you looking—”

My brother’s voice wavered with flustered confusion as he noticed the direction of my gaze.

“I am terribly sorry!! Brother!!”

I bowed my head with great vigor. My heart hammered against my eardrums. I didn’t know what to say or where to even begin apologizing. As my thoughts swirled in circles, the words jammed in my throat.

I could tell he was bewildered without even looking at his face. I could even hear him catch his breath. Still, I couldn’t bring myself to look up.

“I’m apologizing for everything—the things I know and the things I don’t. If there is any responsibility I must shoulder, please tell me. Whether it’s an apology or an act of atonement, I’ll do anything.”

The words tumbled out of my mouth one after another, my throat trembling slightly.

For a while, a tension-filled silence hung over the room. My brother’s throat moved slightly as he whispered in a voice full of disbelief.

“Aira… is it really you?”

“Yes. It’s Aira, your sister who looks just like you.”

I still couldn’t raise my head. I simply didn’t have the courage to meet his eyes. Then, from above, a long, heavy sigh—one that carried a hint of relief—fell softly upon me.

“Aira, raise your head.”

It was a slow, gentle command. I looked up cautiously.

There he was: my brother, now a grown man. His features were as dignified as ever. A nostalgic scent drifted toward me.

“Brother… you’ve become such a sophisticated gentleman. You look wonderful.”

“How many years has it been since I last received a compliment from you? Haha, you’re throwing me off my rhythm.”

He laughed, the tension leaving his shoulders. His voice helped dissolve some of my own stiffness.

“Both of you, please, let’s sit,” Tiana urged with a giggle from the side. The soft chairs of the salon welcomed my stiff, nervous body.

“Brother, I was just telling Tiana about the diaries. Actually, there are ten years’ worth of journals from the time I lost my memory. I haven’t finished reading them all, but I caused you a great deal of trouble, didn’t I?”

I felt my brother’s gaze on me. I squeezed my hands tight.

“I suppose you would have found out eventually. Yes, that’s right. You wouldn’t listen no matter how many times I warned you, and the people around us began to look at us with cold eyes.”

His bitter voice leaked out. Behind those words, I felt like I could see the depths of the isolation he must have endured. My father had said something similar.

My brother looked down for just a split second.

“What hurt the most was being ignored by you. Right, Tiana?”

“Yes, that’s true.”

I caught my breath.

“No matter what I said, you treated me as if I didn’t exist. Eventually, I gave up trying to involve myself with you. I imagine we stop appearing in those diaries of yours after a certain point.”

His voice was calm, yet it was steeped in a quiet sadness.

“We didn’t know what to do, so we could only watch from afar,” Tiana added, her voice trembling slightly.

“Please, don’t worry about—”

I started to reply reflexively, but my brother shook his head.

“No, that won’t do. The fact that you became a mistress and had to endure such shame is entirely due to my own inadequacy for giving up on you halfway through.”

“That’s not true! You aren’t to blame, Brother. I was the one—”

As I spoke in a flurry, Tiana suddenly smiled.

“My, you two really are identical siblings. Neither of you is to blame.”

Feeling a bit embarrassed, I met my brother’s eyes.

“We are family. Aira, if you’ve returned to us as the Aira we knew, then… that’s enough. I can’t ask an Aira with no memories to apologize. However—”

However?

I held my breath. My brother searched for words, turning his gaze toward Tiana.

“…Yes, that’s right,” she replied meaningfully.

Yes, that’s right?

Tiana’s loaded response made my heart race even faster. Finally, as if settling his resolve, my brother spoke.

“Aira, as soon as possible, you must look for the diaries that mention the Crown Prince and the Crown Princess.”

“C-can you give me a summary?”

“The summary is… well, it’s quite difficult to say.”

My brother hesitated, which was rare for him. Tiana stepped in to fill the gap.

“Indeed. Rather than hearing it from us, if you have the diaries… it would be faster to see for yourself what happened. And once you understand, you should try to get back on Her Highness the Crown Princess’s good side as soon as possible.”

Get on her good side? Immediately?

A cold shiver ran down my spine. But I couldn’t keep running.

“I… I understand. I’ll make sure to read them today, even if I have to stay up all night.”

At those words, my brother and Tiana both nodded deeply and silently. It was a heavy, ominous sort of nod.

What on earth did “Lara” do? Only questions remained.

Just then—

With a soft, reserved knock, the door creaked open.

“Mother? Are you done talking yet?”

It was Ral, peeking his head inside. Right behind him, Liz appeared. Her large eyes were brimming with tears that looked ready to overflow at any moment.