The Premeditated Seductress Childhood Friend - Chapter 28

Chapter 28: Regrets

Song Yixi froze.

She hadn’t expected such an answer. The blanket in her hands slipped to the floor as she turned her stiff neck to look at Xu Qingyu. Her eyes suddenly welled up with red.

“What are you saying?”

Seeing her crestfallen expression, Xu Qingyu gave a faint smile. “I’m joking. My parents’ medical skills are so profound, I’m not worried.”

“Mhm…”

Song Yixi’s eyes remained red; she felt like crying. She sensed that Xu Qingyu wasn’t telling the whole truth—that “self-rescue” was the real answer.

As a child, Xu Qingyu must have been terrified. It was as if everyone was constantly telling her she was frail and sickly, that she might not live long. The medicine could never stop; she couldn’t be too hot, too cold, couldn’t be in the wind, couldn’t exercise. This was forbidden, that was forbidden—even being too happy was forbidden.

Song Yixi had seen Xu Qingyu sitting by the window several times, silently shedding tears. She began to suspect that Xu Qingyu studied medicine because she truly wanted to save herself.

“Song Yixi.”

Xu Qingyu spoke up, cutting her thoughts short. “Don’t overthink. I’m doing very well now. But I do have a wish I want you to help me fulfill.”

Song Yixi perked up. “What is it?”

Xu Qingyu slowly crossed her legs. “There are many things I’ve never tried that I want to experience. Take me to try them all, one by one.”

Song Yixi was cautious and didn’t agree immediately. She was afraid Xu Qingyu might want to do something her body couldn’t handle. “Only if we follow doctor’s orders.”

Xu Qingyu laughed. “Follow doctor’s orders? Can we do that?”

Song Yixi felt relieved. “Then yes, we can.”

She pulled some unused scrap paper from a drawer and gave it to Xu Qingyu. “Whatever you want to do, write it down. I’ll take you to try them one by one.”

Xu Qingyu took the paper, rubbing it between her fingers. Her eyes were lowered, deep in thought. Song Yixi turned back to continue making the bed and then threw the used sheets into the washing machine.

Xu Qingyu looked up, folding the paper into a paper airplane as she watched her busy herself on the balcony. She quite liked this state of being; though she couldn’t help with much of the labor, just watching Song Yixi work tirelessly while she chatted with her made her happy. Among the things she wanted to do, this was one of them. She didn’t write it on the paper, but she checked it off in her heart.

When Song Yixi returned from washing the sheets and saw she hadn’t written anything but instead made a paper airplane, she asked, “What’s this for?”

“I remember you liked playing with these when you were little.” Xu Qingyu tossed the paper airplane toward her.

Song Yixi caught it and toyed with it for a moment. “Like you said, that was when I was little. Who likes playing with this now?” She set it on the desk. “You didn’t write a single wish.”

Xu Qingyu shook her head. “I didn’t. Some aren’t convenient to write down.” She tucked the paper airplane back into Song Yixi’s hand. “When you came to play with me as a child, I rarely accompanied you. This National Day, think of your childhood regrets, and I’ll play them all with you once.”

“Childhood?” Song Yixi didn’t think too deeply. “Forget it. I was immature back then, always dragging you out to play. You only refused because you were unwell. Why bother playing them now?”

Xu Qingyu took her hand, her expression very serious. “The weather for National Day is quite nice. While we have time, we should play.”

Unsure why Xu Qingyu was being so persistent, Song Yixi agreed anyway. “Alright, I’ll arrange it. I’ll take you out after dinner, how about that?”

She already had an idea. She remembered every single thing Xu Qingyu had refused her as a child.

Xu Qingyu nodded. “Good.”

At the thought of Xu Qingyu accompanying her to play, Song Yixi felt a spark of excitement. “I don’t know when my parents will be back, so let’s not wait for them. I’ll check the kitchen for groceries and make us dinner.”

Sensing her eagerness, Xu Qingyu stood up slowly. “I’ll go down with you.”

“Sure, you can watch TV downstairs.” Song Yixi opened the door, ran down, and turned on the AC on the first floor.

Xu Qingyu followed at a leisurely pace, descending the stairs step by step. By the time she reached the bottom, Song Yixi had already set up the TV, with a water glass and the remote on the coffee table.

“Watch something for a bit while I cook.” Saying this, Song Yixi tied on an apron.

Xu Qingyu didn’t watch TV. She stood by the dining table watching her. Song Yixi had loved food since she was small, so she loved figuring out how to cook. Watching her cook happily was a form of enjoyment. Xu Qingyu had never watched her this closely before.

Song Yixi washed her hands and started prepping vegetables. She glanced at Xu Qingyu. “There will be oil fumes in a bit. Stay back.”

“I know.” Before the fumes rose, Xu Qingyu wanted to watch a little longer.

Song Yixi’s movements were skilled, and it wasn’t long before the vegetables were cleaned. She pushed up her sleeves, ready to start the stove. Seeing Xu Qingyu still standing by the table, she simply closed the glass kitchen door. This way, Xu Qingyu could still see her through the glass.

The stove ignited, and the fumes began to rise. For the first time, Xu Qingyu witnessed the “life of the hearth” from such a close distance. And this warmth was exactly what Song Yixi brought to her.

Xu Qingyu sat down to wait for the meal. There weren’t many ingredients at home, so Song Yixi cooked two bowls of handmade noodles with pork, eggs, and greens. The noodles had been hand-rolled by Song Yixi before she left home.

She brought the bowls to the table and said to Xu Qingyu, “I knew my parents wouldn’t bother cooking these noodles. There happened to be two portions left. It’s so fragrant.”

Xu Qingyu took her chopsticks and chuckled softly. “I remember your parents don’t know how to cook.”

As a child, Song Yixi often ran to Xu Qingyu’s house to scrounge for food because her parents’ cooking was so terrible. Once she got older, her mother made her learn to order takeout, saying she needed to be self-reliant. So Song Yixi scrounged for food while learning how to cook.

She smiled, seemingly no longer bothered by it. “I managed to raise myself healthy and plump thanks to you.”

Xu Qingyu took a bite of noodles and looked at her. “Do you still blame me for overfeeding you until you were chubby?”

“That had nothing to do with you. It was just my own vanity acting up.” Looking back, Song Yixi felt it was quite silly. Those who mocked her were the ones with the problem, yet she had taken her temper out on Xu Qingyu. “But, I used to steal your Chinese medicine to drink when I was little. Why didn’t you stop me?”

Xu Qingyu said, “It was just tonic medicine. It didn’t hurt.”

Song Yixi thought about it and felt something was off. “Did you let me drink it on purpose? The medicine you drank and the one you gave me… they must have been different, right?”

Xu Qingyu smiled and didn’t deny it. Back then, Song Yixi would always watch her drink her medicine. Sometimes she would cry while watching, saying it looked so bitter. She even asked Xu Qingyu if she helped drink it, would it be less bitter for Xu Qingyu?

Xu Qingyu said it would, but warned her it was very bitter and she wouldn’t be able to handle it. Later, whenever Xu Qingyu’s medicine was cooked and left on the table, Song Yixi would climb onto a chair when no one was looking and chug it all in one go.

She didn’t know that Xu Qingyu watched her from the corner of the stairs every single time. Once Song Yixi finished, she would simply ask the housekeeper to cook another bowl and drink it after Song Yixi left.

Xu Qingyu had asked herself why she indulged Song Yixi and made things so complicated. It wasn’t until she grew up that she realized she couldn’t tell which was more bitter: being the one diseased and forced to gulp down medicine every day, or being the one forced to watch a loved one suffer, unable to share the pain.

She couldn’t save herself, but she could at least make Song Yixi a little happier.