The Moon Upon My Heart - Chapter 17

Chapter 17: Fragile

“Stay with me, okay?”

The subsequent itinerary proceeded smoothly, everything following Ji Fengyue’s plan.

After lunch ended, as a post-meal pastime, Shen Wangshu and Ji Fengyue slowly made their way to the cinema on the shopping street. They had bought tickets in advance and arrived just in time for the movie to start.

As Ji Fengyue expected, aside from the two of them, everyone else was a pair of opposite-sex lovers. The romantic atmosphere was thick, making the two of them look somewhat out of place.

However, neither had the type of personality to care about their surroundings. Once the movie started, they watched the big screen quietly, only occasionally taking a sip of cola.

When the movie finally ended and most of the others had left, they walked out of the theater side by side.

Shen Wangshu tossed her finished cup into the trash can and said casually, “It’s a good movie, but it’s better suited for quiet viewing at home. Other people’s reactions interfere with the mood.”

“Mm. Let’s install a home theater in the future then; we can watch whatever we want at home.” Noticing that Shen Wangshu’s spirits weren’t high, Ji Fengyue silently cursed her miscalculation. She hadn’t anticipated that Shen Wangshu wouldn’t enjoy watching a literary romance in the theater.

“That works too.” Shen Wangshu’s expression was calm. This movie had resonated with her, making her think of her hopeless unrequited love, but she wouldn’t show it.

Ji Fengyue’s reaction was also calm, but from a different angle: “Although I can’t quite understand why this movie’s ratings are so high, the visuals and the soundtrack were decent…”

“Fengyue, we’re still standing at the cinema entrance. Be careful about saying things like that, or you’ll get hit by fans.” Amused by Ji Fengyue’s words, Shen Wangshu grabbed her hand, and the two walked away quickly.

“In this movie, the only place where I felt a sense of connection was at the end when the female lead fell ill and her family argued about it. It was very touching. The family members of a patient… cough, I mean, that segment served as a great dual climax for the plot and the emotions.”

“That’s so like you, being so serious even when watching a movie. It seems you didn’t really like the romantic storyline of this film.”

“It was average. If you like someone, you should take the initiative to pursue them. Hesitation only leads to missing out, and if you regret it in the end, you only have yourself to blame.” Thinking of her past life, Ji Fengyue’s tone unconsciously became heavier.

“But what I hated most wasn’t that. It was the male lead saying he fell in love at first sight just because her face looked the same. Hah.”

“Even putting that aside, they were clearly about to get married, yet he might have still been thinking about his former crush before he died. He didn’t even let go completely. That kind of wavering what kind of behavior is that?”

“Mm, you’re right. Being indecisive is the most annoying thing. Either pursue them bravely or let go completely; that’s how it should be.” Shen Wangshu smiled silently. This was exactly why she liked this person. It was better this way. Since she had decided to give up, she should be thorough so she wouldn’t feel regret in the future.

“Wangshu, what do you think?”

“I’ve seen this movie before, but I don’t quite remember what my impressions were at the time.”

“But watching it again now, I just feel the female lead’s acting was superb. The two characters she played each had their own distinct traits. She expressed the personality differences through subtle emotional cues; it was truly impressive,” Shen Wangshu added with a smile. “And she’s very beautiful. Short hair really suits her.”

“You face-con (superficial) person. What about the male lead who died? Do you think he’s handsome like those people online do?”

“Not really. Although the scene of him reading by the window was memorable, that was an atmosphere deliberately guided by the director. As for his face, I think the female lead is much better looking, but that’s just my aesthetic.”

Noticing Ji Fengyue’s tense expression, Shen Wangshu thought for a moment and said softly, “I don’t like his type of person either. Becoming a couple with someone just because their face is the same and calling it love at first sight that’s really not a practice I can appreciate. No matter how handsome he is, it’s a no.”

“Even though the ending shows he wanted to confess and only stayed silent because the female lead’s father passed away which is indeed a regret, regret is just regret. I beg to differ.”

“He was just a coward. He knew he wouldn’t be liked by the female lead, so he didn’t dare confess. If the female lead liked him, he absolutely wouldn’t have been able to endure for so long.” Ji Fengyue huffed. If it were her, she would never do those boring things just to attract a girl’s attention; it was meaningless and would only lead to being disliked.

But Ji Fengyue didn’t know that upon hearing her words, Shen Wangshu felt as if a knife had been driven deep into her heart. She could no longer maintain the smile on her face.

Shen Wangshu turned around as if nothing were wrong, her eyes filled with sorrow. That’s right—she was exactly that kind of coward. Because she knew she wouldn’t be liked and feared losing a precious friendship, she had hesitated for so long to confess.

Even more tragic was that the male lead might have been thinking of the girl he liked in his student days before he died, whereas she had already decided to give up on a hopeless love and only thought about being a friend.

“But he was just a supporting character who served as a catalyst; he shouldn’t really count as the male lead. There’s no need to care too much about him. I think the real male lead is the one who guided the heroine. And compared to the person who already died, the scene where those two main characters brushed past each other moved me more…” Shen Wangshu looked up, but she couldn’t finish her sentence.

Seeing the two people not far away, Shen Wangshu’s expression froze. She stood perfectly still, looking like a wooden statue.

Her mother, Li Ming, and her future husband were standing there side by side. Their behavior was very intimate, looking exactly like a real married couple.

“Mm, Wangshu, what were you saying?” Ji Fengyue noticed Shen Wangshu’s frozen expression and looked toward the other side following her gaze. Her eyes narrowed.

She reacted instantly, pulling Shen Wangshu’s hand firmly and heading toward an exit in the opposite direction, away from that “couple.”

Ji Fengyue could feel the stiffness in Shen Wangshu’s movements. She clenched her other hand in anger. She wanted to do so many things, but right now, she couldn’t do a single one.

What is Wangshu thinking right now? Does she feel like she was abandoned long ago? She must be so sad, but how can I comfort her? Do I even have the right to comfort her? Wangshu after rebirth is no longer willing to pour her heart out to me!

“No need to run, they can’t see us,” behind Ji Fengyue, Shen Wangshu forced a smile that looked more painful than crying. “Let’s keep going. There’s still a lot of time left today.”

“You worked so hard on this travel plan; it shouldn’t go to waste.”

“Fengyue, don’t worry about me… I’ve long since gotten used to it.”

Ji Fengyue stopped in her tracks. She turned around and looked at the girl whose eyes flickered with shattered tears but who was trying her best to bite her lip and force a smile. Ji Fengyue’s face looked terrible.

“We’re going back. To my house. I’m taking you home.”

Ji Fengyue pulled Shen Wangshu into the elevator directly to the mall exit, then took a taxi back to her own apartment complex.

Throughout this process, Shen Wangshu acted as if she were in a daze. She hung her head and didn’t say a word, letting Ji Fengyue lead her by the hand. She looked like a puppet that couldn’t move on its own, relying entirely on someone else’s strength to keep going.

Watching the girl like this, Ji Fengyue felt a dull pain in her heart, as if it were being repeatedly sliced by a blunt knife. That familiar ache reminded her of her helplessness by the hospital bed.

It was the same now. She could do nothing except hold the hand of the girl she loved in a futile gesture.

The taxi driver probably noticed the bad atmosphere; he remained silent the whole way and drove to the destination as quickly as possible.

After paying the fare, Ji Fengyue led Shen Wangshu out of the car. They were right downstairs; they just needed to take the elevator up.

Ji Fengyue took a deep breath and whispered, “Wangshu, we’re here. Let’s go.”

“Mm. Sorry for the intrusion.” Shen Wangshu stared at their joined hands and finally remembered her intention to come clean to Ji Fengyue.

That’s right, I have to tell Fengyue about this, otherwise my only place of belonging will be gone.

So her mother and that uncle already knew each other now. They were probably on a date just now. They were so close; it was truly nice.

It was truly nice to be able to watch a literary romance movie openly with the person you like, to be able to hold hands naturally when surrounded by couples, to be able to discuss the movie content intimately…

Thinking of this, Shen Wangshu looked up at the back of the person in front of her. Her eyes suddenly stung, and the tears she had managed to hold back welled up again.

Actually, she also wanted to do all the things couples do with the person she liked—dating on weekends, visiting the aquarium, watching movies, holding hands… but hadn’t she already done those things?

Why wasn’t she satisfied? Was it because in Ji Fengyue’s eyes, she was only a friend?

Why was she so sad? Was it because she hadn’t let go of her feelings for Ji Fengyue?

That shouldn’t be right. She could already say “I like you” naturally, and she could hold Ji Fengyue’s hand without any reservations.

So this heartache—it was actually because of envy.

“Wangshu, wipe your tears. Wait until we get home to cry. There’s no one else there; you can cry safely.”

The tissue handed to her and the gentle words floating into her ears made Shen Wangshu sniffle. She forced back the wave of tears that was about to surge out.

“Wu… thank you.” Shen Wangshu took the tissue and wiped the moisture from the corners of her eyes. Seeing her struggling to maintain a calm facade, Ji Fengyue lowered her eyelashes, waiting for the moment the elevator reached its destination. Once they reached a private place, the girl she loved could cry freely.

Finally, the elevator reached Ji Fengyue’s floor without stopping. Shen Wangshu bit her lip and followed Ji Fengyue into the apartment where her friend lived alone.

The interior decoration was very much in Ji Fengyue’s style minimalist, monotonous, and devoid of superfluous ornaments. One could even describe it as lifeless.

“I bought this place at the end of last year. No one lived here, and I only moved in this month. There isn’t much, but the furniture and appliances are fairly complete. Sorry for the poor showing,” Ji Fengyue said as she set down her canvas bag. The jellyfish plushies they had bought at the aquarium were squeezed side by side inside the bag.

Shen Wangshu just stared at her blankly. Ji Fengyue sighed softly: “I’m going out to buy a few things. Wangshu, take some time to settle your emotions. I expect to be back in half an hour. Don’t cry for too long, or your eyes will hurt.”

“…Don’t go.” Just as Ji Fengyue turned to open the door, the motionless Shen Wangshu finally moved. She grabbed the hem of Ji Fengyue’s shirt, and the words she spoke truly made Ji Fengyue stop.

“Stay with me, okay?”

Her voice was so light and soft who could refuse such a request? Not to mention that Ji Fengyue didn’t want to leave at all.

“Then sit on the sofa first. I’ll go get some water. I don’t have any fruit or snacks at home, sorry.”

Shen Wangshu only shook her head gently. Sitting on the sofa and watching Ji Fengyue’s back in the kitchen, she couldn’t help but sniffle again.

In the past, Ji Fengyue wouldn’t have treated her with such distance. They once shared a home together.