The Aloof Little Puppy Is Super Obedient - Chapter 32

Upon returning home, Chu Jingtian went straight to his room and lay down on the sofa. From there, he could see the stars outside. Looking at the night sky, a sense of confusion filled his eyes, and he could not quite grasp his current state of mind.

The sight of the stars by the window made his heart ache. He felt lost, unsure of how to face the reality before him. His confusion had never changed; it had only grown more deep-rooted. As he watched the stars, he clenched his fists tightly. Memories of the past resurfaced, causing a sharp pain in his chest.

Even though he felt he should be numb to it all by now, the familiar sting remained. He tried to suppress his emotions, but the sight of the world outside still made him panic. He told himself things had changed, yet the fear lingered. For Chu Jingtian, the past was an inescapable nightmare that lay dormant in his heart, secretly peering into his soul.

He had tried so hard to run away and escape, but these memories remained hidden within him, refusing to give him a moment to breathe. As he thought of this, tears slowly slid down his cheeks. He did not know how to keep these feelings bottled up any longer. It seemed like a small matter, yet he still found himself panicking over these minor things.

“Why am I still sad over this? Why? Why?” He questioned himself. He was genuinely curious as to why he felt so flustered when he believed he had already moved on.

Human nature is strange. One can leave a relationship behind, yet when new emotions arise later, they realize the old ones never fully exited. As Chu Jingtian pondered this, his eyes turned red and tears began to flow. The weight of it all was too much to bear.

He felt a deep, throbbing pain. He thought he had let go, but seeing Su Huaihuai’s downfall had stirred something within him. Seeing her made him think of his own past actions, and his hands tightened. In her fate, he saw a reflection of what might have happened to him if he had not let go. Even though he told himself it was no longer a big deal, he still felt uneasy.

It was like a specter that tormented him, demanding that he either never forget or never remember. Tears fell as he struggled to stabilize his heart. He felt that if he could just cry it out, he could steady his emotions and stop being afraid. But the fear remained.

“I didn’t expect it to be this pathetic,” Chu Jingtian said with a self-mocking laugh. He felt he deserved this pain for falling into that trap in the first place. He believed that if he had controlled his emotions better back then, he would not be suffering so much now.

He tried his best to steady himself and stop grieving over the past. Despite his efforts to control his heart, a wave of depression washed over him. Nevertheless, he felt a sense of relief knowing he had escaped that cage. He could still vividly remember how humble and lowly he had been during those years.

He remembered sitting in a room, pouring a glass of water and waiting for Zhou Nian to come home. But back then, Zhou Nian never wanted to come home. Why would he want to see Chu Jingtian’s annoying face? Thinking of it now only brought bitterness.

He needed to suppress these feelings so they would not keep him in a constant state of panic. To avoid the pain, he felt the urge to run. It seemed that only by running could he keep his emotions under control and prevent them from consuming him. All he could do was manage his mood so it would not dictate his life. His values influenced his emotions, and if he let his feelings rule him, he would become a slave to them.

Thinking about the events of the day, he felt helpless. He did not understand why these situations made him feel so aggrieved. As he was questioning himself, a knock came at the door. Chu Jingtian told the person to enter.

The door opened, and the visitor sat on the edge of the bed.

“Brother, are you feeling aggrieved because of what happened?”

Chu Jingtian, still caught in his sorrow, looked up and saw Su Jingyang sitting beside him. He looked at him in disbelief. “Why did you think to come here now?”

As he asked, he lowered his head sadly, unable to face his brother. Su Jingyang watched him, unable to understand why Chu Jingtian was so heartbroken.

“Brother, why are you so sad? Weren’t you happy before? Why does this relationship still cause you so much pain?” Su Jingyang was genuinely confused. Initially, he could see Chu Jingtian’s grievance, but later it seemed his brother had moved past the sadness of that relationship. Seeing him like this now puzzled him.

Chu Jingtian gave a helpless smile. “Of course you find it hard to believe. You probably think it is no big deal. But you’ve never considered how serious these issues are or how much a person can be hurt by these emotions.”

He thought back to the “cold violence” he endured. When he first started dating Zhou Nian, he was truly happy. But during their time together, Zhou Nian never touched him. Eventually, he learned the reason why.

It turned out Zhou Nian was only with him to spite someone else. Their time together was never happy because Zhou Nian never truly wanted to be with him. Thinking of this brought a fresh wave of pain. At the time, the realization felt like a blade cutting into his heart. He felt bitter and struggled to control the surge of emotion.

Su Jingyang listened as Chu Jingtian spoke of his broken past. He looked at his brother with heartache. “Brother, if these feelings make you this sad, why not just let them go?”

Su Jingyang was confused because Chu Jingtian had previously told him he had moved on. Chu Jingtian paused, remembering that he had indeed told Su Jingyang he was over the conflict. Suddenly, he reached a moment of clarity.

He was his own person now. Why was he still grieving over these things? He was living his own life; that phrase was supposed to be carved into his heart. How had he forgotten?

Realizing this, he pulled Su Jingyang up and laughed happily. “Thank you for reminding me of my true purpose. This is my life now, and I should live it freely!”

Yes. He was living his own life now. He needed to live freely and not be bound by the past. If he allowed these things to restrain him, he would be no different from those he pitied.

Chu Jingtian pulled Su Jingyang along as he ran outside. By running, he felt his old feelings finally slipping away. He would no longer allow that past relationship to affect his mood. Sometimes love is quite ridiculous, and he never expected it to have such a hold on him.

This time, he had truly and completely let go. He felt a sense of relief, no longer lost or anxious.

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