She Seems to Struggle with Having a Wife - Chapter 30

In the afternoon, Qin Mu packed up the clothes for both of them, intending to send them to the dry cleaner. After changing her shoes and walking to the entrance, she suddenly remembered something she had forgotten to give Wei Qing’an the night before. Setting down the bag, she turned back, took out a scar removal ointment from the drawer, unwrapped it, placed it on the coffee table, snapped a photo, and sent it to Wei Qing’an.

Qin Mu: Scar removal ointment. Remember to use it.

She figured Wei Qing’an would be busy at work at this hour and wouldn’t check her phone. After sending the message, Qin Mu put her phone away, picked up the clothes, and headed downstairs, driving her own car. The night before, Wei Qing’an’s car had been running low on fuel halfway, so Qin Mu had stopped at a gas station to refill the tank.

The dry cleaner wasn’t far from the residential area. While this shop offered home pickup services, Qin Mu had more errands to run today not just dropping off the clothes but also delivering a meal to Yan Huan at the company.

The company cafeteria didn’t operate on weekends, and Li Jiashan, who had been working consecutive shifts, had taken the weekend off to rest.

Originally, a colleague was supposed to take over, but no one wanted to work overtime at the company over the weekend. As a leader, Qin Mu couldn’t force her subordinates to come in, so she decided to handle it herself.

But there was another reason Qin Mu volunteered to go to the company: she was afraid of breaking down at the sight of the bed they had shared the night before, unable to hold back her tears. Even in the car, her eyes had already welled up.

From university to graduation, during the seven years Wei Qing’an knew nothing about, Qin Mu had eaten countless breakfasts, lunches, and dinners in the cafeteria where they had crossed paths the most. Rain or shine, snow or gloom, she steadfastly occupied a specific blue bench in the middle, cycling through rice bowls, noodles, spicy hot pot, dry pots, rice noodles, and more.

She started with the first stall and worked her way to the last, repeating the routine day after day. Even Xiao Xi had complained more than once, “Little Mumu, can’t we eat somewhere else? I’m so sick of this floor. Anyone would think this place is your lover, the way you keep coming back without ever getting bored.”

But how could one ever grow tired of someone they loved?

To catch a glimpse of that dazzling rainbow in the midst of a monotonous routine, to feel that indescribable flutter of joy and excitement, what did it matter how long she had to wait?

Qin Mu never regretted spending all those years in silent adoration, savoring every bit of bitterness and happiness in her heart. Even without Xiao Xi, she would have likely done the same. The only difference might have been the freedom to gaze at Wei Qing’an a little more bravely, without reservation, before turning away to continue her quiet devotion.

Moreover, when they got married, Qin Mu hadn’t felt particularly happy. On one hand, she had proposed to Wei Qing’an carrying Xiao Xi’s dying wish, which left her feeling uneasy as if she had shamelessly snatched someone else’s treasured possession and selfishly claimed it as her own.

On the other hand, Qin Mu wasn’t sure how she was supposed to exist beside Wei Qing’an as a classmate, a friend, a contractual partner, or a wife. No matter the role, it felt like a deception. She had proposed and married under someone else’s request, and everything she did was shrouded in secrecy from Wei Qing’an.

If it weren’t for Wei Qing’an taking the initiative last night, Qin Mu would probably never have touched Wei Qing’an in this lifetime. As for those past kisses, embraces, and accidental touches, Qin Mu felt they were heaven’s mercy upon her.

Though guilt and selfishness surged within her at that moment, Qin Mu selfishly chose the latter. She couldn’t face Wei Qing’an with composure. She could sense that Wei Qing’an at least didn’t dislike her, but this morning, Wei Qing’an had left so early and hadn’t mentioned the incident all day. Was she regretting last night’s impulsiveness? Did she feel she shouldn’t have let such a thing happen between them?

She must be regretting it. Otherwise, why would she say nothing?

Lost in thought, Qin Mu drove to the company entrance, parked, and leaned forward slightly. Her swollen eyes gazed vacantly into the distance as she slowly tightened her grip on the steering wheel, her knuckles turning white.

At the company, the empty corridors and elevator were devoid of the usual weekday crowds. Standing inside the elevator, Qin Mu felt as hollow as the building itself. Carrying takeout, she stepped out of the elevator looking somewhat disheveled and soon reached the studio.

She knocked first, took a deep breath, and entered.

When Qin Mu walked in, Yan Huan was still busy with her head down. Over the past two days, she had completed several pieces sent for drying, with a few others still in progress. However, she picked up the skills quickly and could finish them in just two or three days. After that, the ceramics factory would handle drying, glazing, painting, and so on.

Yan Huan was responsible for the glazing and painting herself, so she might have to stay at the factory during that period, where conditions would be less comfortable.

Qin Mu didn’t disturb her. She unpacked the food from the bag, set out the bowls and chopsticks, then turned to call Yan Huan, “Teacher Yan, time to eat. You can continue working later.”

Yan Huan had been so absorbed in her work that she only noticed Qin Mu’s presence when called. She replied offhandedly, “Alright, I know. Just leave it there. I’ll be done with this part soon.”

Qin Mu hummed in acknowledgment and returned to her usual seat, sitting quietly without disturbing Yan Huan.

After nearly ten minutes, Yan Huan finally got up to wash her hands. She came over to eat wearing a grimy apron, her hair tied up in a messy bun. Sitting down without a word, she began devouring her food ravenously, as if she hadn’t eaten much all day.

After eating for a while, Yan Huan said, “Didn’t Xiao Anzi come back last night? Why didn’t she come with you?”

It was the weekend, after all. She could at least come see her senior who was working overtime and show some concern for her elder.

Qin Mu’s eyes dimmed slightly as she explained, “She went to the office early this morning. Probably has some urgent work to catch up on from her business trip.”

“Huh?” Yan Huan frowned, taking a big bite of food. “Working overtime on a weekend? What’s the rush?”

Who knows, Qin Mu thought to herself.

Probably because she doesn’t want to see me.

Qin Mu poured Yan Huan a cup of juice in a disposable cup and said gloomily, “She’s always been a workaholic, staying late every day. I guess it runs in your mentorship.”

The implication being: aren’t you working overtime at the company too?

Yan Huan chuckled at that but didn’t reply, lowering her head to focus on her meal. The two of them didn’t speak again after that. Midway through, Qin Mu glanced at her phone Wei Qing’an hadn’t replied, not even with a simple “mm.”

Disappointment and heartache surged over her all at once. Qin Mu’s nose tingled with emotion as she turned off her phone and didn’t open it again.

By the time Yan Huan finished eating and set down her chopsticks, the sky outside had already darkened. Nights were arriving earlier and earlier lately; even the sunset barely had time to linger before being swallowed whole by the encroaching darkness.

“Send a message to Xiao Anzi and invite her out. A few friends messaged saying they want to see her.”

“Huh?”

Qin Mu had been lost in thought and didn’t catch it clearly.

What was she saying about going out and friends?

Yan Huan stood up, untying her apron, and repeated, “Send a message to Xiao Anzi. Some friends haven’t seen her in a while and want to hang out. Tell her if she doesn’t come out tonight, a whole crowd will be knocking down your door tomorrow, and your secret marriage won’t be able to stay hidden.”

The last sentence carried a clear threat, but Qin Mu knew Yan Huan was joking, she didn’t mean it seriously.

Qin Mu didn’t answer right away. She got up and walked to the window, pulling out her phone. There were over a dozen messages on WeChat, but they were all from friends or colleagues. Wei Qing’an still hadn’t replied at all. Had she not seen the message?

Yan Huan changed her clothes and saw Qin Mu still standing by the window, staring at her phone. “Is she coming?” she asked.

Qin Mu nervously gripped her phone, hurriedly exiting WeChat and opening her contacts to find Wei Qing’an’s profile picture. “I was just replying to someone else. I’ll call now,” she said.

With that, Qin Mu tapped the screen, and as the call connected, she held the phone to her ear, her heart instantly pounding wildly. Unexpectedly, Wei Qing’an answered quickly. “Hello?”

Her voice sounded somewhat muffled.

Qin Mu lowered her head, anxiously staring at her toes. “Teacher Yan said some friends want to invite you out. Are you going?”

“Teacher Yan? She asked you?” Wei Qing’an didn’t answer but instead questioned further.

Qin Mu replied truthfully, “Mm.”

Wei Qing’an was driving and had stopped at a red light. She picked up her phone and opened WeChat but saw no message from Yan Huan. Setting it down, she asked with a hint of displeasure, “If friends are inviting me, why didn’t Teacher Yan message me directly?”

Qin Mu glanced back at Yan Huan, who was still tidying up. “She’s busy getting ready, so she asked me to check with you.”

Busy getting ready?

“The two of you are together?”

This time, Wei Qing’an’s tone was more than just displeased.

Qin Mu was already too unsettled to care about her mood or guess what she thought about last night’s events. She just wanted to get an answer to her question quickly, so she pressed a bit urgently, “Yes, Teacher Yan is changing her clothes. So, are you coming or not?”

Wei Qing’an was already feeling a bit irritable, and hearing Qin Mu’s impatience, she tightened her grip on the steering wheel and retorted with rare defiance, “I’ll go. Since it’s been mentioned, of course I’ll go. Since you’re with Teacher Yan, you should both come along.”

With that, she pulled off her earphones and hung up abruptly.

Qin Mu had meant to say “okay,” but before she could speak, the call had already ended swiftly, as if the other person didn’t want to hear her voice at all.

Qin Mu furrowed her delicate brows, set down her phone, and gazed out the window at the deepening night, letting out a deep sigh.

Yan Huan happened to walk over just as she heard the sigh and asked, “Why the sigh? Did Xiao Anzi turn you down?”

“Oh, no.” Startled by the sudden question, Qin Mu turned to look at Yan Huan, her expression softening slightly. “Teacher Wei said she’s going and suggested that you and I join them, but I’m not really in the mood. I’ll drop you off and then leave.”

As Yan Huan fastened the last button on her shirt, she said, “Don’t be like that. I actually wanted to bring you along anyway. They’re all friends of mine and Xiao Anzi really nice people. Don’t feel pressured. Besides, it’s the weekend. It’s good to get out and spend time with friends.”

“But I…” Qin Mu still hesitated.

She didn’t want to go and witness Wei Qing’an’s regret over what happened last night or hear the apology Wei Qing’an might offer. Qin Mu would rather choose to divorce tonight and never see her again than endure that answer, she truly couldn’t bear it.

Unaware of Qin Mu’s thoughts, Yan Huan sighed softly and comforted her gently, “It’s fine, don’t worry. There won’t be any drinking, and no sketchy people either. We’re just getting together for a simple meal and some karaoke. You can leave anytime you want, it’s very relaxed. Besides, if you go, Xiao Anzi will look out for you. You’ll be safe.”

Qin Mu still hesitated but couldn’t find a suitable excuse to refuse. In the end, Yan Huan didn’t wait for her to agree or disagree and simply grabbed Qin Mu’s arm, pulling her downstairs. She figured they’d go first and let Xiao Anzi handle keeping Qin Mu there later.

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