Self-Perception - Chapter 37

“Why are you up so early? Can’t sleep?”

A soft sound of breathing came from the other end of the line. “Gu Wansheng, I miss you.”

Wen Jinyan had just woken up, her voice still sounding a bit raspy. For a moment, Gu Wansheng wanted to rush back immediately, embrace the bleary-eyed Wen Jinyan still in bed, and say:

“I am right in front of you.”

But for now, she could only say through the phone, “I miss you too.”

Hearing this, Meng Qiu felt goosebumps all over her arms. She rubbed her skin, thinking how Gu Sister’s tone had turned so incredibly soft, it was practically dripping with tenderness.

Gu Wansheng didn’t put her phone down until the airport broadcast announced boarding. She looked back at Meng Qiu, who was pushing the luggage. “Are you cold?”

“Not cold.”

“Then why are you clenching your teeth so hard?”

Meng Qiu relaxed her jaw and flashed a standard fake smile. “I just ate a piece of candy, it was too sour.”

Wen Jinyan packed her bags, checked out of her own room, and moved into Gu Wansheng’s. Su Muqing helped her pack and move the belongings.

“Jinyan, we’re leaving soon anyway. Why did you suddenly book Teacher Gu’s room and cancel yours?” Su Muqing sat on a chair, puzzled.

“Her room has great lighting,” Wen Jinyan replied, opening her suitcase and beginning to organize her things one by one.

Su Muqing believed her and eventually stepped out to take a phone call.

The truth was, Wen Jinyan didn’t stay there for the lighting. It was simply because the room still held the faint, lingering scent of Gu Wansheng’s “Jade Dragon Tea” perfume.

When she finished packing and headed out, she ran into Su Muqing, who looked frantic.

“What happened?”

“Ji Yibai is injured. I have to go back immediately.” Su Muqing’s voice was urgent. She hurried to her own room and began throwing things into her suitcase.

Wen Jinyan followed and helped her pack. “Did you buy a plane ticket yet?”

Su Muqing tapped her head blankly. “Not yet.”

“You keep packing, I’ll buy it for you,” Wen Jinyan comforted her, immediately booking a flight. “I got you a 1:00 PM ticket. You have two hours. Keep packing while I go get the car.”

Wen Jinyan drove the car around, and twenty minutes later, Su Muqing climbed in.

“How did Ji Yibai get hurt?” Wen Jinyan shifted gears, noticing Su Muqing’s pale face in her peripheral vision.

“Her colleagues said an emotional patient became aggressive. While she was trying to stabilize them, she was slashed with a knife…”

As she spoke, Su Muqing’s voice began to tremble until she couldn’t even finish a complete sentence.

“Don’t worry, Dr. Ji will be fine. The fact that they called to explain the situation means things are under control. They are professional doctors,” Wen Jinyan said in a calm, steady voice, trying to ground Su Muqing. “There’s water by the door handle.”

“Right… okay,” Su Muqing nodded slowly, her hands shaking so much it took two tries to grab the bottle.

Wen Jinyan got Su Muqing to the airport as quickly as safety allowed. Worried, she offered to rebook both of them on business class tickets so she could go along, but Su Muqing stopped her.

“I can do it alone.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yes.”

Wen Jinyan didn’t drive away until the plane carrying Su Muqing disappeared into the sky. It was around 3:00 PM when she returned to the farmhouse. Li Fei was the only one at the front desk, watching TV.

“Is the kitchen available?”

“Miss Wen, haven’t you eaten yet?” Li Fei stood up. “Let me make some noodles for you.”

“Don’t bother, I can do it myself,” Wen Jinyan said, leaning against the marble counter.

She had only eaten a piece of bread on the way back. It had been dry, and she’d had to wash it down with water. She hadn’t felt it while driving, but now that she was standing, her stomach was doing somersaults, and she felt like she might be sick.

“It’s no trouble. I’m hungry too, I’ll just make enough for both of us.” Li Fei walked briskly toward the kitchen, calling back, “Miss Wen, there are tangerines on the table to tide you over. The noodles won’t take long.”

Wen Jinyan found a seat by the window and slumped over the table. The more she thought about the bread she’d eaten, the worse her stomach felt.

Li Fei eventually served her a bowl of clear broth noodles with a fried egg on top.

“Did I make you wait long?” Li Fei placed the bowl down.

“No, thank you for the trouble,” Wen Jinyan said.

“Then I’ll get back to work. If it’s not enough, let me know and I’ll cook more.”

“It’s plenty, thank you.”

After finishing, Wen Jinyan washed her bowl and returned to her room to finish packing. Later, she stood by the window and dialed a number.

“Hello. Regarding the investigation… let it go.”

“Are you sure?” a woman’s voice asked from the other end.

“Yes. You don’t need to refund the money. Thank you for your trouble.”

Wen Jinyan hung up and worked on her novel for a while. That evening, she stood at the second floor railing looking down. At the front desk, Li Fei was writing something. Wen Jinyan watched for a moment before heading down to order two small stir-fry dishes. Zhang Wen was the one who served her.

“How much longer until I go back?” Zhang Wen asked. She now fully trusted Wen Jinyan because of the promise that Li Fei would be protected.

“No rush. When the time is right, I’ll notify you.” Wen Jinyan picked up her chopsticks and looked at Zhang Wen. “Want to sit and eat?”

“No, thank you. Please enjoy your meal.” Zhang Wen went back to help out.

As the National Day holiday drew to a close, the farmhouse was no longer as crowded. Before leaving, Wen Jinyan visited the hot spring Li Fei had recommended. She went in the morning when it was quiet. The owner claimed it was a natural “medicinal spring” that soothed bones and calmed the mind. She didn’t take the sales pitch to heart but wandered around until noon before heading back.

After lunch, Wen Jinyan packed her bags and drove home.

By the time she arrived, it was night, and the house was dark. Is Gu Wansheng still working?

Wen Jinyan turned on the living room light and saw a message from Gu Wansheng sent hours ago.

Gu Wansheng: [Bai Jin suddenly called the crew together tonight to discuss the movie’s insert songs and ending theme. If you get home, let me know you’re safe.]

Wen Jinyan sent a voice message back. Within a minute, a reply came.

Gu Wansheng: “Have you eaten? There are lotus root dumplings I made yesterday in the fridge. Boil some if you’re hungry.”

Did she make them specifically for my return today?

Wen Jinyan replayed the audio over and over as she walked to the fridge. Sure enough, there was a plate of dumplings, exactly enough for two people. Did she want us to eat them together?

Wen Jinyan boiled half for herself, made a dipping sauce, and leaned against the wall scrolling through her phone.

Su Muqing: [Ji Yibai is okay, but her hand injury is serious. She’s still in the hospital.]

Wen Jinyan: [Glad she’s okay. I’ll visit her tomorrow.]

Su Muqing: [How’s the investigation into Li Fei going?]

Wen Jinyan: [I didn’t check. I gave up on it.]

Su Muqing: [? Why? Isn’t finding Li Fei’s weakness the best way to ensure Zhang Wen doesn’t betray us?]

Wen Jinyan: [Li Fei made me a bowl of noodles.]

Su Muqing: [? I don’t follow.]

Wen Jinyan: [And she added an egg.]

Su Muqing: [Even though I can see Li Fei isn’t malicious, you have to be careful.]

Wen Jinyan: [I know.]

She understood the logic and had learned the hard way before. But she couldn’t bring herself to investigate someone behind their back while accepting their kindness to her face. At least, not yet. She had tasted the hidden rules of society and the obsession of human nature, she was currently playing the game of “an eye for an eye,” but she realized not everyone caught in the crossfire was at fault.

The dumplings were ready. She ate them all. Perhaps because they were delicious, or perhaps for another reason.

When Gu Wansheng finally returned, Wen Jinyan was sitting on a chaise longue with her laptop. Seeing Meng Qiu helping Gu Wansheng through the door, she stood up immediately. Before she even got close, the scent of alcohol filled the air.

She took Gu Wansheng from Meng Qiu. “Why did she drink so much?”

“A crew dinner,” Meng Qiu explained. “Director Bai hadn’t seen Gu Sister in a while and kept toasted her.”

Gu Wansheng leaned into Wen Jinyan’s arms. Her legs were weak, and she began to slide down. Wen Jinyan tightened her grip around her waist, holding her firmly.

“Thank you for your hard work,” Wen Jinyan said to Meng Qiu.

“It’s nothing. Jinyan Sister, I’ll head out now.”

“Message me when you get home.”

“Will do.”

A drunk Gu Wansheng was not a quiet one. She nuzzled into Wen Jinyan’s embrace like a kitten. When her cool lips brushed against Wen Jinyan’s neck, Wen Jinyan’s body trembled. She bit her lip, leaned down, and swept Gu Wansheng up in a bridal carry.

Gu Wansheng instinctively wrapped her arms around Wen Jinyan’s neck. At least she knows enough to keep from falling, Wen Jinyan thought with a smile.

She laid her on the bed and tucked her in before going to the kitchen to make honey water.

“Gu Wansheng. Gu Wansheng.”

Gu Wansheng heard the voice through a haze. She half-opened her eyes, whimpered softly, and turned her head away.

“Gu Wansheng, get up and drink some water, or you’ll have a headache tomorrow.” Wen Jinyan leaned over to pull her up, but instead, Gu Wansheng pulled her down onto the bed.

Their hair tangled together. Gu Wansheng’s rhythmic breathing fell against Wen Jinyan’s neck. Fearing she would crush her, Wen Jinyan propped herself up with her hands on either side of Gu Wansheng’s shoulders.

“Yanyan…” Gu Wansheng squinted, her hands naturally circling Wen Jinyan’s nape. Using that leverage, she arched her waist upward.

“I missed you so much…” Her alcohol scented breath hit Wen Jinyan’s cold earlobe, turning it scorching hot.

Her teeth lightly grazed the soft flesh of the earlobe. It didn’t hurt, but it sent a wave of shivers through Wen Jinyan, making her arms go weak. The woman beneath her continued to taste her like a delicacy, licking and nibbling. Wen Jinyan tried to pull away, but the grip on the back of her neck held her down, leaving her unable to move.