Longing for the Stars - Chapter 30

The ceiling is high, and the sunlight streaming through the window softly illuminates the room. Lace curtains, showcasing the peak of a craftsman’s skill, filter the light to create lovely patterns on the floor.

In the middle of this peaceful afternoon, a woman of fine years sits gracefully on a comfortable sofa, wearing a slender dress adorned with delicate embroidery. Beside her sits a young boy with the same black hair and golden eyes, huddling close to her.

The woman looks at the child with eyes full of affection and begins to speak.

“Listen closely, Sirius, my dear son. Since you have become my child, there is something you must hold true to.”

“What is it?”

The boy, Sirius, tilted his head and looked up at her, his large eyes sparkling with curiosity. The woman curled the corners of her lips into a beautiful smile—a perfect, flawless expression that anyone would admire.

“Always get what you want. No matter what means you must use, you must succeed.”

“?”

“From the very moment you decide you want something, no matter what it is, use every resource at your disposal. Always watch for an opportunity, and when there is a gap, reach out without hesitation.”

Perhaps the woman’s words were too difficult for young Sirius; he just blinked repeatedly while keeping his head tilted. At this sight, the woman laughed elegantly and reached out to stroke his hair, which had a texture much like her husband’s.

“Oh, was that still too hard for you, Sirius?”

“Yeah, I don’t really get it.”

“I see. Well, perhaps you will understand when you are older. You are very much like me, so when the time comes, you will surely know. Why, when I first saw your father…”

“Mother, I’ve heard that story so many times already.”

“It is perfectly fine to tell this story many times, because I have decided it is so.”

“Geez.”

“I pray that on your long, long road ahead, you encounter the same kind of luck I did, Sirius. My darling child.”

The woman pulled her child into a hug and rubbed her cheek against his round head.

I suddenly understood my mother’s words when I was ten years old.

A presence appeared before me, shining like a brilliant star.

—I want him.

When that thought vaguely crossed my mind, I remembered my mother’s words. When she first told me to “always get what you want,” I had no idea what she meant, but the moment I met that “star,” I knew instantly: This is it.

Up until then, there were many things I vaguely wanted—a new practice sword, the armor my father wore, and so on. But even if I wanted them, it didn’t really matter if I had them or not. After I got them, the initial joy would fade, and there was no real excitement.

But he was different.

I felt instinctively that it would be a problem if I didn’t have him. I didn’t know why it would be a problem, but I felt that no matter what, I had to make him mine.

“When I first saw your father, it felt as if lightning had pierced my body. I suppose that’s what people call a fateful encounter.”

My mother told us brothers that story many times, with the expression of a maiden in love.

My mother was the daughter of a high-ranking noble. My father was the Captain of the Knights.

Normally, it would be impossible for those two to marry, but my mother, who fell in love with him at first sight, used every trick in the book to successfully claim the position of his wife. I remember admiring her and clapping my hands as a child, thinking she was amazing.

Yes, and apparently, I am “very much like” her.

“I’m Sirius Louvre! Who are you?”

“…Aldebaran Stark.”

Having learned the name of the star, I repeated it in my mind over and over. I could feel my face naturally relaxing at the sound, which felt sweeter than any dessert.

(I wonder if Mother felt like this, too.)

I will definitely make this sparkling little star mine. At that moment, I made a firm vow.

Time passed, and I turned eighteen.

The room assigned to two men was simple—one might call it “minimalist” to be kind, but in reality, it was quite plain. The beds were large and comfortable, perhaps designed with soldiers in mind.

These beds were about the only thing I liked about this room, but right now, this place feels better than a bed in the Royal Palace. It’s like paradise.

“…Nn.”

With a soft sigh, the treasure in my arms snuggles against me.

As the morning sun rises and the room brightens, I can clearly see his cute sleeping face. Because he doesn’t show much emotion and has sharp features, he often gives a cold impression, but his sleeping face is so innocent.

Since we loved each other so much last night, neither of us is wearing clothes, and the feeling of our skin touching is incredibly pleasant. Those clear eyes, like a slice of the blue sky, are currently hidden behind his eyelids. I’m the only one who knows he won’t be waking up for a while.

At this rate, he probably won’t wake up until nearly noon.

“…Good morning, Al.”

Even though I know he won’t wake up, I keep my voice as quiet as possible. Waking Al up in this state would be a barbaric act that even a god would not permit.

However, I know that if I just stare at Al’s sleeping face until he wakes up, he’ll get mad at me later. He’ll scold me for not eating or for holding him until he was exhausted. But since I know that eighty percent of that anger is just embarrassment, I wouldn’t actually mind staying like this. Still, to have a peaceful holiday, I have to move.

After all, if Al gets angry, he stops talking to me. I hate that most of all.

“…I’ll be right back.”

I bet my face looks pretty pathetic right now. I absolutely don’t want to leave, but for the sake of a peaceful time with Al, I have to be firm with myself.

With the utmost care, I pull away from Al’s warm, smooth skin and slowly climb out of bed. I’ll gather the clothes scattered on the floor and wash them later; for now, I start my morning preparations, feeling a strong pull to stay.

Since I’m off duty, my clothes are very simple: just trousers and a shirt. I can’t relax unless my hair is styled, so I set it in front of the mirror as usual. Once I wash my face and finish cleaning the room, my morning chores are done. I could just go to the cafeteria and eat, but I simply don’t want to be away from Al’s side.

Even though I know he’ll scold me, I don’t want to leave. Yet, Al doesn’t understand my feelings even a little bit. He’s really dense about those things, but since that’s the Al I fell in love with, it can’t be helped.

“…I’ll be! Right back!”

I whisper as quietly as possible and leave the room before my resolve weakens. The last look I got of Al’s face was so healthy, cute, and beautiful. Oh no, I want to go back already.

“Well, look at that, it’s Louvre! Good morning!”

“Captain Zanna…”

“Whoa, what’s with that face? You look like you’re about to vomit blood. That’s hilarious!”

“…Good morning, sir…”

“Yep, a bit slow on the ‘good morning,’ but thanks!”

The person who spoke to me in the hallway just outside my room was the leader of the squad Al had temporarily moved to—Yard’s squad. I think someone once mentioned he was easy to talk to because of his fox-like narrow eyes and lighthearted way of speaking.

The Captain looked at my face, then looked at the door to my room, and curled his lips into an amused “Hmm.”

“Is Stark still sleeping? That’s rare.”

“…Captain Zanna…”

“You don’t need to call me Captain. I’m not your squad leader.”

Someone said he was easy to talk to, but I’m pretty sure that’s not true at all.

“…I’m not fond of the way you ask questions when you already know the answer, Zanna.”

“……”

Pfft. He burst out laughing.

“Hahahaha! Whew, what was that?! Hilarious! Man, you really are just a normal eighteen-year-old boy!”

I felt my eyes go half-lidded as I watched Zanna literally double over with laughter. Seeing my face, he even got tears in the corners of his eyes and started pounding on my shoulder without mercy. Al called this man a kind person who looks after others, but that’s definitely not the case.

A truly kind person doesn’t make a face like that and hit someone.

“Yeah, yeah. Honestly, I’m a bit relieved. So even Louvre is human after all. I half-thought you were a guy who didn’t care about anything except Stark.”

“……”

“Whoa, what’s with that face? Interesting.”

“It’s not interesting to me, sir.”

I generally don’t have much interest in people. Or rather, I’m only interested in Al, but this man and a few others were an exception. I’m aware that I’m strong, but I have a feeling that if I fought this man for real, one-on-one, I might lose.

That’s why I feel I can’t let my guard down around him.

“So, did you hold Stark until he collapsed?”

“……”

“Even though I’m technically your senior and superior, it’s fun being looked at like you want to kill me right now.”

We ended up going to the cafeteria together. When he spoke again a few seconds later, I couldn’t help but glare at him, and Zanna just laughed in amusement again.

“You don’t have to look at me like that; nobody’s going to touch him. Oh, wait! I guess even the idea of someone imagining it is unpleasant for you.”

“……”

“I see. So that’s why you didn’t come to my squad because you’re not fond of me.”

And then, he continued casually.

“Plus, Yard is there too.”

“……”

There are other soldiers on the way to the cafeteria. Everyone is momentarily surprised to see the rare pair of me and Zanna, but then they quickly pretend to lose interest and keep walking. Even then, Zanna doesn’t stop talking, continuing in his light tone.

“Yard really was in a one-sided love, wasn’t he? No matter how you look at it, Stark is head-over-heels for you. And you, for your part, have been walling him off since your student days. Keeping others away, making sure Stark couldn’t get close to anyone but you…”

The sounds of the lively cafeteria grow louder as we approach.

“Thanks to that, most people don’t even know what Stark looks like when he smiles. That’s a pretty nasty thing to do. Well, I guess his own personality and his stiff facial muscles are part of it too—”

“…I just used every resource at my disposal.”

When I muttered that in desperation, his fox-like eyes widened in surprise before narrowing into thin slits again.

“I’m not criticizing you. I did think your methods were merciless, but I’m the same way when it comes to not choosing means for the sake of something I want.”

Zanna stopped just before entering the cafeteria. I read the room and stopped too, but honestly, I just wanted to shovel down some food as fast as possible and get back to the room where Al was.

“So, I’ll apologize first. Sorry.”

“Eh?”

“On the day Yard got his heart smashed to pieces by Stark, I was the one who got Stark to drink alcohol. And I was the one who told Yard to take him back to his room.”

“What?”

I’ve experienced many unexpected situations in my life. Because of that, I prided myself on being able to handle most things, but it seems that was a misunderstanding.

As I tried to assemble the pieces of what he said like a puzzle, I heard his voice again just as I was near completion. I felt irritated that my thoughts were interrupted, but knowing this was likely calculated, a heavy feeling settled in the pit of my stomach.

“If I hadn’t done that, it felt like I’d never be able to get Yard.”

“What?”

This time, my thoughts stopped completely. I didn’t understand what he was saying. I looked at Zanna’s face, which was slightly lower than mine, and suddenly understood.

“I told you earlier, right? I don’t choose my means either. I just did exactly what you’ve been doing all this time, so we’re even.”

With that, he gave a light wave and disappeared into the cafeteria. I slowly exhaled the breath I had been unconsciously holding. Before I could even process the meaning of his words, only one thought came to mind.

“I really am not fond of that man…!”