It's Too Late for Regrets - Chapter 6.8

The scent that drove him crazy mixed with his heavy breathing.
“…Ines.”

 

The voice, which had been cold and firm when cursing, trembled helplessly the moment he said his wife’s name.

 

Edgar couldn’t bear to look at the dead woman and closed his eyes, but Rayan didn’t blink once with his bloodshot eyes.

 

“Ines.”
“Brother.”
“You, until the very end, kept me…”

 

Even after death, Ines irritates him relentlessly.
Why do you stay here like this, without decay?

 

She lay covered by a deep blue blanket, and as every night, she was beautiful today too.

 

Actually, Ines had always been pretty. That was something he had quietly admitted for a long time.

 

Especially her eyes—they were beautiful. Clear, innocent, and pure, those blue eyes sometimes made him uncomfortable.
Within that blue, there was a faint life that never fully went out. Now, never to be seen again…

 

If he did not let her go, she would remain like a stuffed animal, exhibited in this bedroom forever.
He knew that was what made her suffer even after death.

 

But still, he could not bring himself to say the words to hold her funeral.
If he put her in a coffin, nothing could be undone.
If he held the funeral, this terrible situation would become all real.

 

He muttered in a strained voice, low and broken:
“…Just one more day.”

 

“What exactly are you waiting for?”

 

“If I wait just one more day… no, just one hour.”

 

If he waited five more minutes, even just a few seconds—maybe she would open her eyes…

 

His bloodshot eyes glistened with moisture, but no tears ever fell.
He wouldn’t allow even tears.

 

Sad? Am I sad now? Why?
Ines still lies here in his bedroom and will open her eyes when the time comes.

 

“I never let you go. How can you just end it all alone like this, Ines?”

 

“…Get a hold of yourself.”

 

“I can’t send you away. I found you, saved you, and kept you here, right by my side!”

 

Was the sticky lingering feeling an unknown emotion for her, or just a faint hope placed on a corpse that would not rot?

 

As a habit he had formed over nearly three weeks, he sat by the bed and softly kissed the palm of her neatly folded hand.
As usual, he pressed his lips hotly, as if to leave a mark.
He didn’t even realize that this action came from a deep instinct to leave his trace on the woman.

 

Edgar, unable to stand it any longer, grabbed Rayan by the collar and pulled him away from her.

 

“Get a hold of yourself!”

 

On Rayan’s pale, gaunt left cheek, Edgar’s fist landed without mercy.
Thud! The terrible sound echoed like a tooth breaking, and Rayan’s face snapped to the side.

 

Edgar didn’t stop there. Holding Rayan’s collar, he slammed him against the wall with a loud bang.

 

The sharp pain on his cheek, jaw, back of the head, and back briefly pulled Rayan’s mind back into cold reality.

 

“You killed her.”

 

Edgar’s voice pierced through his eardrums and hammered like a stake into his brain.

 

“Do you hate accepting that so much? Why? Do you really think if you wait this long, Ines will come back?”

 

Clutching his white-hot, anger-raged mind, Edgar sneered coldly at his cousin.

 

“No, brother. Ines will not come back. Even if she does, she will never come back to your side.”

 

“…”

 

“If you want even the smallest bit of forgiveness from her, you should send her off with respect. Don’t let her suffer even after death.”

 

“…”

 

“Do you understand?”

 

Rayan lowered his eyes as he heard the voice tearing his mind to pieces. A hollow laugh escaped him.

 

Yes. Ines was killed by him.
Didn’t he refuse to let her go of the reins with his own hands?

 

He was swallowed alive by the flames of guilt.

 

From some moment on, a heavy darkness lurking near his heart whispered to him constantly.

 

Edgar was right.
Your wife is dead, Rayan.
She can never come back.
You have to bury her.

 

“…Okay. I understand. I might go crazy from how thankful I am.”

 

He took a deep breath and opened his eyes again.

 

Edgar’s distorted face was clear in his burning green eyes.

 

Rayan growled with a twisted smile.
“So shut up now.”

 

He roughly wiped his cracked lips with the back of his hand.
Bright red blood spread on his hand and lips, but he didn’t care.
Still holding Edgar’s wrist, who grabbed him tightly, he shook it off.

 

His mind, almost shattered, began slowly to piece itself back together.

 

The habit from the battlefield of freezing his mind in extreme situations worked again.

 

Yes, enough foolishness for now.

 

Ines is dead, and that fact cannot be changed.
Now, holding the funeral is the proper way to respect the dead.

 

After that—
After that…

 

His green eyes captured the woman’s forehead, eyes, nose, lips, and delicate jawline.

 

A life without you—

 

From some time ago, he never imagined a future without Ines. It was a vast abyss.

 

Rayan barely stopped his thoughts and instead started to brainwash himself.

 

She was gone far longer than she had been with him. So it’s okay for her to be gone.

 

After all, she was just a thorn that bothered him.
At one time, he even thought he would get rid of her when she lost her use.

 

That moment came suddenly, in an unexpected form.

 

Yes. So… it will be okay.
Even without you,

 

The redness around his green eyes deepened.
Blood burst from his bitten lips, but he felt no pain.

 

“…Alveron.”

 

The aide, anxiously pacing outside the door, bowed his head.

 

“Yes, Your Highness.”

 

“Announce the death of the Grand Duchess. Order the preparations for the funeral. The coffin will be placed in the chapel of the private residence.”

 

“At once, Your Highness.”

 

Edgar looked with dry eyes at the man who still maintained his remarkable composure despite his condition.

 

Rayan Eleanor was a ruler who knew exactly how to control himself.
With his proud noble bloodline and unyielding dignity, he always commanded others.

 

But will it be the same this time?

 

“…Don’t think that sending her off will make you okay, brother.”

 

Edgar’s low voice fell into the silent room.

 

“Already? With only this much.”

 

“Stop it, Edgar.”

 

“This is nonsense.”

 

It was a curse he felt like he had heard before.

 

Rayan turned his back and didn’t even look at Edgar anymore.

 

Ignoring the sound of his cousin’s unsteady steps approaching the bed, he left the bedroom that had been shadowed by death after three weeks.

 

A strange chill seeped into the hallway of the mansion where Rayan had lived all his life.

 

Maybe because of that, or because he had stayed with the corpse for so long, the tremor in his hand did not stop.

 

He barely clenched his fist, and suddenly his thoughts turned to the child.

 

The child left alone in the mansion without a mother.

 

He stopped walking and called the steward, bowing deeply.

 

“You, go and check on the prince…”

 

But at that moment, the words of a doctor named Robert echoed in his mind.

 

<Well, if he had known, he wouldn’t have had a child in the first place.>

 

Caesar was conceived in the fall four years ago.
It was when Rayan had locked Ines up in an old inn for several weeks.

 

Rayan instinctively knew. That child was proof of the guilt that could break his sanity.

 

He didn’t know how he would react if he saw Caesar again.
The child was already afraid of his father.

 

If things went like this, Caesar might tremble and shed tears whenever he faced Rayan, just as Ines had once done.

 

“…After the funeral.”

 

When the image of Ines fades and Rayan can show a more human expression, that would be the right time to find the child.

 

Rayan wiped his pale face and barely gave the order.

 

“Dismiss all the servants who have cared for the prince until now. Send the maid named Berry and the old doctor to the prince. First, check the child’s health and report back.”

 

“Yes, Your Highness!”

 

No more orders followed.

 

The steward dared not straighten his back until his master disappeared completely down the stairs.