It's Too Late for Regrets - Chapter 12.4

“…..”
“I’m not forcing you. You don’t have to talk if you don’t want to.”

Adding such remarks at the end had become one of Rayan’s recent habits.
Maybe he realized that his usual way of speaking sounded too commanding. These days, he always added a small excuse to say there was no pressure, even when it came to simple things.

Of course, his words and actions rarely matched.

“…Ah!”

Ines flinched and twisted her hand when he suddenly bit the back of it hard. But he didn’t care and only sucked harder on her soft skin.

“Ray—”

The hot breath warming the back of her hand, the sensation of his flicking tongue… Rayan kept his lips there, only lifting his eyes to look at her. The desire he had held back earlier—when he let her go into the cathedral so calmly—was starting to leak out again.

“…..”

Green eyes that sparked and her blue eyes stared at each other, locked together.
It was still daylight.
And they were standing right in front of the cathedral entrance, where many people passed by.

But those facts became meaningless, simply because the person with her was none other than Rayan Eleanor.
He had never cared about what others thought. Even if he did something in broad daylight, he would never be the one to feel embarrassed.

Maybe that attitude had started to rub off on Ines too. The surrounding noise faded like a distant buzz.

When he finally pulled away, a bright red mark, the size of a pinky nail, was left on the back of her hand.
He glanced at the mark with burning eyes, then pulled her close.

Her dress tangled between his legs as he pressed himself close, from her waist to lower body.
Rayan kissed just below her eyes, then the tip of her nose.

“I want to know what you did inside with Edgar, Ines. Was it more fun than being with me?”

When Ines looked away without answering, he quickly bit her lower lip to force her mouth open—demanding a reply.

“…It’s not something you can compare. We just attended mass together, and talked a little. Then we walked around the cathedral… That’s why I was late. I didn’t think you’d be waiting—”

“That’s not it.”
“…What?”
“That’s not the kind of answer I want.”

Rayan frowned and suddenly lifted her into the carriage.
In an instant, she was lying on the soft seat, and a large shadow loomed over her.

“You should’ve said it was much better being with me.”

He followed her into the carriage and the door slammed shut behind him.

Ines barely stopped herself from falling backward by pressing her palms to the seat. The space, big enough to hold six adults, now felt completely filled by him.

He took off his jacket and tossed it onto the seat opposite, then leaned in close.
With one hand bracing the window frame, he boxed her in so she couldn’t escape.

“I’ve always hated it. Your eyes looking at another man. Someone else touching you. I still hate that there’s anyone in your world but me, Ines.”

Rayan barely held back the rest.
That the moment he saw her with Edgar, he wanted to pull her away.
That while he was imagining every second of their future together with happiness, she was smiling casually with another man—and it drove him crazy.

This emotional rollercoaster was far from pleasant.
But he also knew Ines hadn’t done anything wrong.

The problem was always Edgar.
And those idiots who dared glance at her.
And all the things he hadn’t been able to give her himself.

He wanted to destroy every puzzle piece in her world and rebuild it using only things that belonged to him.

But thankfully, Rayan also knew Ines didn’t want that.

‘No, not just “didn’t want”—she’d hate it.’

Everything that made sense to him always turned out to be the wrong answer for her.
Which meant Rayan could only ever be a fool, swayed by emotions, when he was in front of Ines.

Begging. Desperate. Pleading.

“I don’t know what to do, so I feel like I could do anything. But I don’t want to be that kind of man, Ines.”
“Rayan.”
“So calm me down.”

It was actually a very simple problem.
If she would just kiss him, even briefly like before, he could go back to being that man filled with love.

Rayan buried his face in her neck and took a deep breath.
Goosebumps rose on her skin as if all the warmth was being pulled out.

His impatient voice trembled in the hollow of her collarbone.

“So I can stop here. So I can remain a loyal servant of Lezan.”
“….”
“Please, soothe me, Ines.”

As he rubbed his cheek against her neck for a while, Ines suddenly reached out.
Her hands cupped both sides of his face and met his eyes.

Her blue eyes stared deep into him.

“…Sometimes you’re like a child.”

Rayan felt dizzy, as if the world was spinning, just from seeing those delicate blue eyes and her soft pink lips moving slowly.

“Clingy, demanding, hiding things away… like a child who believes he’ll get everything if he just acts like that.”

Her thin fingers slid from his cheek down to his neck.
His body flinched noticeably.

Ines kept murmuring softly.

“And just like every child who is loved, you always get what you want.
No matter the process, in the end, you always win.”
“….”
“It might seem like you’ve lost, but you’ve never really been defeated.
Even when you act like you’re beneath me, you always end up getting everything you want.
In the end, nothing has really changed…”

Ines’s arms wrapped around Rayan’s neck.
“Maybe that’s what makes you so attractive.”

He saw desire bloom in her eyes—real, unmistakable—and stopped breathing.

Their eyes met.
She read him.
He read her.

And in that moment when they both found the same thing in each other—
A desire so strong it defied logic, swept away reason, and even overturned their consistent emotions—Rayan knew.

He felt pure joy.

His voice trembled strangely.
“If there were a mirror, I’d want to show you what your face looks like right now.”

“…What does it look like?”
“A face that wants me.”

Rayan had never seen her wear such an expression before.
She was always the one enduring, accepting.

But now, he was sure.
Because her face looked exactly like the one reflected in her eyes—his face.

It couldn’t be real.
His head spun like he was starved of air.
His large hand tightened on her shoulder, and he spoke through clenched teeth.

“If this is just my imagination, then push me away.”

His breath tickled the underside of her chin.

“If I’m just being delusional again, if I’m forcing you even a little….”
“….”
“If what I’m doing isn’t the right answer again—then say it.
Tell me I’m wrong.
Push me away, if you don’t—if you keep looking at me like that…”

The growing expectation sent shivers through him.

“I’m going to kiss you.”
“….”
“I never miss my chance, Ines.”

His green eyes stared directly at her, without blinking.

She could see her own reflection in them.
A raw desire she’d never seen before on her own face.

The tension was overwhelming.
And then—

“…You’re so stupid.”

It wasn’t an answer to his words.

“So stupid, really…”

No one could say who she was talking about.
But after that, without either of them taking the lead, their lips met.

And from the moment they touched, they both knew—
This was nothing like before.

It was a fierce and passionate kiss.
Ines was the one who pressed her lips to his, parting them with her tongue and diving deep inside—just like he always did.

Their lips twisted, pulled, sucked in each other’s breath and saliva like they couldn’t get enough.

Ines’s body was shoved back, almost hitting the window, but his hand shot up and supported the back of her head just in time.

Whenever a trail of clear saliva gathered at her lips, his lips and tongue licked it up like it was sacred water.

Their ragged breathing blended together until it was impossible to tell whose was whose.

The heat inside the carriage surged.
Her dress wrapped around his legs, and her small body opened completely, almost binding him.

It was a kiss they had never shared before.

Not just because it was rough and passionate.
Rayan had always kissed her like he wanted to devour her.

The one who had changed—was Ines.

Even as Rayan kissed her more deeply than ever before, he couldn’t tell if this was reality or a dream.

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