I Refuse This Life, Your Highness! - Chapter 38

I changed my clothes and went out to the front yard. Today, as usual, the Duke had brought two horses and was waiting for me. He gradually picked up speed from the Duke’s estate garden and quickly headed up the hill where the winter apricot orchard was visible.

The cold wind brushed my cheeks, and my hair fluttered behind me. The early winter scent, like dry firewood, tickled my nose. I tightened my thighs against the horse’s sides and leaned my body into the ride as we galloped up the hill.

The sky was a clear, deep blue with not a cloud in sight. It felt as though if I threw myself off, I would fall endlessly.

Reaching the top of the hill, we dismounted and walked down to a stream to give the horses water and let them graze, loosening their reins.

“Shall we go down?”

The Duke pointed toward the winter apricot orchard. I nodded and followed behind him. The path leading down to the orchard was gentle and well-maintained like a walking trail.

When we arrived at the orchard, the air was filled with the sweet fragrance of ripe fruit. The winter apricot fruits, heavy on the branches, had ripened to a tangerine color.

I picked one of the ripe fruits. Its fresh scent, a blend of rose and peach, wafted through the air.

Though it was called a winter apricot, its taste was completely different from the summer apricots. Crisp and tasting like concentrated peaches. It bloomed in early winter, yet it felt as if it could belong to the height of summer. That was one of the reasons I loved it.

I wiped the smooth fruit with my sleeve. The Duke, with his gaze still on the fruit, seemed to be checking if it was ripe. I stepped closer and offered him the one I had just picked.

“…Are you giving this to me?”

“Yes, if you don’t mind…”

“I don’t mind.”

The Duke accepted the fruit from me.

When it was in my hand, it had felt large, but when the Duke took it, it looked much smaller, like an undergrown fruit. He picked another ripe fruit and took a bite, and I followed suit.

The crisp fruit was cold, as though it had been stored in the fridge, due to the surrounding temperature. But the sweet, peach-like taste and fresh, fragrant scent made it worth it.

After quietly finishing the winter apricots, I threw the seeds near where the fallen, overripe fruit was gathered. As I did, I remembered something I had forgotten because of the ancient language book.

“Majesty, perhaps earlier this morning…”

“Morning?”

“Were you outside my bedroom?”

“Seems like the rumor has already spread.”

The Duke chuckled. So that was an admission. I asked, confused and flustered, why he had been there. The Duke tilted his head slightly and replied.

“I was planning to either enter when you came out or take you to my room. I didn’t drink yesterday.”

What did that mean? Did he perhaps see me about to turn the doorknob? I couldn’t ask that.

The wind blew. The cold air carrying the scent of fruit swept through my hair and spread out into the distance. As I stood, enjoying the cool breeze, I suddenly heard the Duke’s voice.

“Duchess.”

Somehow, the Duke had come close.

“Don’t be startled.”

“What…?”

I instinctively stepped back, only to have my back pressed against the tree trunk. Leaning against it, the Duke placed his fist above my head. The surrounding landscape seemed to vanish, leaving only him. He looked down at me, his golden eyes glimmering.

His face leaned forward.

The scent of winter apricots grew stronger.

The sweet, rich fragrance of freshly picked fruit.

“……”

I tried to step back, but there was no space. I stumbled, nearly losing my balance. The Duke effortlessly wrapped his arm around my waist and steadied me.

“I told you not to be startled.”

I had thought I could control myself, but how many people in this world could stay calm in such a situation? At least, I couldn’t. My heart was pounding wildly.

The person who had just kissed me was standing right in front of me, with the same fruit-scented air surrounding him. I couldn’t believe it.

I froze, my hand instinctively covering my lips. Then, without thinking, I turned and ran. I dashed toward where the horses were, barely breathing as I mounted one and sped off.

I felt the Duke’s gaze on me from a distance. As I fled, the Duke mounted his own horse and followed me. The fact that he kept a certain distance felt stranger than if he had caught up to me. I urged my horse, Shasa, to go faster, and the Duke increased his speed in response.

But he didn’t try to pass me. I felt a huge burden as I rode. The chase continued until we entered the Duke’s estate.

The moment I dismounted, I handed the reins to the stableman and hurried toward my room. I felt like the Duke would catch up with me soon, but when I looked back as I reached my door, I sighed in relief. No one was behind me.

“……”

When did he stop following me…?

Had he already gone back to the estate? Or had he turned his horse around halfway? In any case, the fact that he didn’t follow me until the end made me feel oddly relieved, yet strange.

After washing off the dust and changing into a new outfit, I went to my office. I was a little worried about the Duke standing there again, but fortunately, there was no one in the office. The only sound was the crackling of the fire in the fireplace.

I sighed and sat down at the desk.

It still felt like I could feel the sensation on my lips. I absentmindedly touched my mouth with my hand, and my scattered thoughts began to focus on one thing: Leia.

The Duke kissed me, not Leia…

But that doesn’t mean I’m sure the future will change. Leia is still here. The Duke can go to her anytime. So, what should I do now? Maybe something will happen before the divorce?

Originally, Leia was supposed to appear around three years from now, but she showed up now. So, what should I do? I thought about it and wrote the words “get closer.”

“……”

I immediately crossed them out.

“Make some sense.”

I wondered if Leia would actually defend me when I was wrongly accused, or if she would pretend to be friendly just to manipulate the situation.

Then… I’ll avoid meeting her as much as possible.

I won’t create any opportunities to cross paths. Leia will eventually come to the Duke’s estate with her brother. When that time comes, I must make sure not to provide any information. I shouldn’t even let them know which room they’ll stay in…

This was nonsense, though. Welcoming guests was part of the Duchess’s duties. It would be unthinkable not to know, and even if I didn’t, no one would believe that.

Frustrated, I wanted to snap my quill in half. No brilliant thoughts were coming to mind. And every time a thought did come, the scent of winter apricots kept swirling around, over and over.

As I clutched my head in frustration, Resilly brought me some warm tea.

“Ah… Thank you.”

“You’re welcome. By the way, Your Majesty, have you heard from the Duke?”

“Huh?”

“There’s been some unsettling movement at the border, so His Majesty will be leaving for a campaign for a few days.”

“……”

Why didn’t I know something so important… Ah, he must have intended to tell me when he went out riding.

I took a sip of the tea to calm myself and looked down at the paper I had been scribbling on earlier. It seemed foolish in hindsight. I crumpled it up and decided to focus on something more productive.

The previous campaign had been too sudden for me to prepare, but it was still my husband’s campaign.

“Resilly, please prepare a handkerchief.”

“Understood.”

A handkerchief and a letter seemed like the right thing to do.

The letter itself wasn’t anything special. I wished for his safety, good health, and hoped he would return without injury. After writing the letter, I embroidered the Duke’s initials and family crest on the corner of the handkerchief. While I was focused on that, I was relieved that other thoughts didn’t distract me.

“How beautiful the embroidery is, Your Majesty,” Resilly remarked.

“I learned it as a child.”

My parents insisted on teaching me as part of the education of a Lamia. I had learned many things as a child, mostly related to becoming a good bride. I wanted to learn martial arts or swordsmanship, but my parents opposed it. To learn horseback riding and archery, I had to give up other important subjects.

Suddenly, the Duke’s words came to mind.

‘…No. My parents were thinking of me… that’s why.’

When my brothers inherit the family wealth, I will be left alone with only my Lamia identity. So, they raised me to marry well and live comfortably.

I had heard that other Lamias lived much harder lives. I had been raised with love, and for that, I was content.

As I held the embroidery needle, I suddenly wondered how Leia had been raised. What was the difference between her and me?

And why had Leia appeared so early? In just two months, I was supposed to divorce…

‘That’s it.’

After three months of marriage, the Duke and I had planned to divorce. So, the Duke had brought Leia to show me. This realization came too late, but it felt strange. The sweet taste of the fruit still lingered in my mouth, and now it turned bitter.

Divorce.

I will divorce the Duke. Anyway, even though Erma is scheming, it hasn’t worked on me so far. I can be cautious about what comes next. But the matter with the ancient language book, I had no idea about.

I realized I needed to be even more careful, and I thought it might be best to get along with Leia. After Leia brings her brother to the estate, I vowed never to be alone anywhere again. After all, it would be a huge piece of evidence, wouldn’t it?

The blood found at the scene was definitely part of Erma’s scheme. I didn’t know how she did it. Blood… blood…

‘…Poison.’

Erma was familiar with poisons that were in direct opposition to my blood. Back then, I had bled often in front of her, so she must have been familiar with the properties of my blood and the substances that clashed with it.

My blood loses its potency when kept, so maybe she analyzed the components of my blood and used it. However, Erma had been using poison on me from the beginning. Even before punishing me to make me bleed, she had been using it little by little.

‘I know a bit about other families. Maybe even more than that family.’

“……”

I felt as though the blood drained from my face.

No.

The Duke wouldn’t do that. I shook my head, denying it.

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