I Refuse This Life, Your Highness! - Chapter 36

“……”

I was so flustered that I couldn’t say anything. The atmosphere was strange. I couldn’t figure out what the Duke’s intention was in asking such a question. I was also aware of the warmth on my cheek where he had touched me. I barely gathered my thoughts and answered.

“…Yes.”

As soon as I confirmed it, memories from my past life resurfaced. The miserable fate I had met, how everything had ended so pitifully. The reality that had been nothing but a nightmare.

“It was a very terrifying nightmare, with demons.”

“Demons.”

Erma had been like a demon. Absolute and fearsome. The Duke seemed to smile faintly, perhaps because my words sounded childish.

“Have you heard the story of the merchant who buys dreams?”

“……”

I knew that story. It was about a merchant who buys nightmares, but in reality, the merchant wasn’t buying dreams—he was erasing memories and turning time forward by a day. I didn’t remember the ending.

“I’d like to buy your nightmare.”

What… What did he mean by that? His sudden kind words left me stunned. And on top of that, he said it with that unreadable expression. I couldn’t tell whether he was serious or not. Changing the topic seemed like a good idea. I fumbled with my lips and then blurted out something random.

“Your Grace! Actually, Erma…”

“…Erma?”

The Duke furrowed his brow, as if questioning why that name had come up.

“Erma is embezzling. I’ve been privately investigating the donation-related documents, and if I continue looking, I should find conclusive evidence soon…”

I hadn’t planned on bringing this up at this moment, but it was the most shocking thing that came to mind. I thought it was about time to start speaking out about it.

“……”

The Duke backed away from me. Could he not believe the story about Erma’s corruption? He stared into the distance with a strange expression, frowning deeply and crossing his arms.

“Erma, Erma…”

“Your Grace?”

“Why didn’t I think of Erma?”

“Pardon?”

“This is strange. How could I not have thought of this…”

“Ah, it’s a matter so minor that Your Grace might not know about it. I also only stumbled upon it by chance…”

“No, I’m not talking about the embezzlement. Of course, that’s important, but…”

“Your Grace?”

The Duke acted strangely. He kept pacing, repeating things like “Erma, this can’t be…” and “No way, really?!” before finally looking up.

“Ah, I’ll go in now. Everyone else will enjoy the banquet on their own.”

“Yes…”

“I don’t think I can go to my room tonight. There’s something I need to do.”

“Because of Erma? Did I say something wrong? Your Grace, I actually…”

“Hmm?”

“I’d prefer if you kept it covered for now. I think there might be even more serious corruption going on.”

“Yeah, I agree.”

I sighed in slight relief, and the Duke turned away first. After we parted ways, just when I thought the night would end, past midnight, he returned with the famously strong herb distilled liquor and a basket of winter apricots.

“Here, I forgot to send this, so I brought it myself. It’s the first batch, so it’s really sweet.”

“Wow… Thank you.”

The smooth golden fruit of the winter apricots released a sweet fragrance similar to peaches. The Duke set the basket down as I took it and sat at the table.

As he opened the bottle, a sharp herb scent filled the air. It was strong enough that I wondered if the mere smell could get me drunk.

The Duke drank the entire bottle of pale golden liquor without any snacks or ice, then made his way toward the bed. I only drank the one glass he had poured for me, unsure if I should continue. It felt like he was drinking enough to knock himself out.

Was Erma’s corruption such a shocking event? I wondered as I lay down on the bed. When I turned my head to see if the Duke had fallen asleep, I heard a voice.

“Get your revenge.”

“…What?”

“On the dream. In any way you can, make sure you find happiness.”

“……”

“Maybe it really was something that happened.”

For a moment, I felt as though something had struck me in the head. How could the Duke say such a thing? Did he… know something? After hesitating for a while, I asked him.

“Your Grace.”

“……”

“Do you perhaps… remember?”

But the Duke had already fallen asleep.

I pulled the blanket up over myself and lay down, but I couldn’t settle. The Emperor, Leia, the reality I had called a dream, and the Duke’s words about revenge… My mind was in turmoil.

That night, I couldn’t fall asleep until very late.

Finally, it was the Full Moon Festival. I looked at myself in the mirror. My waist was tightly cinched with a belt made of platinum and jewels, and the chiffon gown, embroidered and layered in two tiers, had gold accents on the open shoulders, sleeves, and hem. The necklace and earrings matched the belt, and I didn’t wear a bracelet because of the sleeve design.

My shoes were lace-covered with large floral embellishments. As usual, they made my feet ache a little.

I had grown used to this attire. I had become accustomed to wearing clothes that matched the Duke’s. Since my dress was completely white, the Duke’s attire would likely be the same.

When the Duke came to fetch me, he was also wearing white. We both headed to the banquet hall.

And then, something was off. The Duke, who had always been silent until entering the banquet hall, suddenly spoke.

“I have someone to introduce tonight.”

“…Someone to introduce?”

No way, I thought. As we neared the banquet hall, the guards opened the doors. A sense of foreboding crept in again. No, it couldn’t be.

The moment we stepped into the hall, I saw a man.

It couldn’t be.

“……”

My tongue felt like it was stuck in my throat due to the tension.

Not yet, not now. Why? It’s not the time. My whole body froze. My hands and feet were cold, and my head was spinning. No. Not now…

It wasn’t time for him to appear. But how?

“I’ll introduce you. This is…”

“Leia Isle.”

The person the Duke introduced was Leia. His name slipped from my lips. Upon hearing it, Leia stepped forward, making eye contact with me before quickly lowering her gaze again.

“You know my name, Duchess. It’s an honor. The humble Leia Isle meets you, Duchess.”

“……”

Leia greeted me with a delicate, almost ethereal movement, as if silk was fluttering.

I received the greeting absentmindedly, but my mind was in chaos.

Why is Leia here now? What is going on? Why is something like this happening? How can such an important part of things be different now? She shouldn’t be here right now.

I wasn’t ready for this…

Leia was supposed to appear three years later, just before I was executed. She appeared then and began turning the Duke’s estate into her domain.

I had planned to prepare for that moment over the next three years. But why?

What went wrong?

The confusion soon turned to fear. Not long after Leia appeared, I was framed for murder and executed. The fact that she was now in front of me… does this mean that future is drawing near? Is that event being brought forward?

What caused this? Was it because of the grudge I’d built against Erma? Was it because I foolishly behaved as the Duchess? Or was it because I met with the Emperor? My head was spinning with these thoughts.

People’s gazes were directed toward Leia. At this time, she was known as a bastard child. In noble society, a bastard child was practically equivalent to a commoner, but if they received an invitation, they could attend the banquet. They couldn’t use their family name, but they could use their family’s surname. It was a murky status.

“Duchess?”

“…Ah, yes, Your Grace.”

“I thought you might be getting to know her, so I had her introduced.”

“I see…”

Why did he want to introduce her? I looked at Leia with a skeptical mood. She was still as beautiful as a flower. The Duke would fall in love with this woman.

I remembered the reed field we had visited together. I had gone to the capital and recalled the field as though it were a dream, but the Duke must have met Leia there. If we think about the timeline… maybe the Duke met Leia before he went with me.

I couldn’t shake the feeling of being deceived. Of course, it was all my own feelings, and I was the one who had gotten carried away.

“Well then… Enjoy the banquet. I’ll just step out for a moment since I have a headache.”

“Duchess.”

I gently removed the Duke’s hand so no one would notice and smiled, stepping out onto the terrace. The cold air helped clear my head a little. I wanted to loosen the belt, but it was tied so tightly that I couldn’t do it on my own. My stomach felt tight, and breathing was getting harder.

I thought I should have brought some water, but as I exhaled, I heard a familiar voice calling me from behind.

“Duchess.”

“Ah… Your Grace.”

When did he follow me? I had expected him to be taking care of Leia.

“I’m not involved with Leia like you think.”

The Duke spoke suddenly, and I opened my mouth in surprise.

“What…”

“It’s not what you think. Leia is…”

The Duke paused as if thinking about something, then added.

“She will be helpful to us.”

Us? I became even more confused. I turned my head slightly, and the Duke moved closer.

“Duchess, tonight is the Full Moon Festival.”

“Yes, it is…”

The Full Moon Festival. The day to confess love.

…Maybe it would be better to confess my love to the Duke? That might improve the situation. At least someone who clings to him saying they love him would not be sent to the guillotine, right? I don’t know.

Does this mean he brought Leia because of the Full Moon Festival? If she’s supposed to be helpful to us… oh, right. Our divorce. Finding a more suitable marriage partner for the Duke would certainly help him. I’m not sure how he’ll deal with Leia being a bastard child, though.

A bastard child… That’s it. I could tell him. Let him know that I have no intention of interfering with his relationship with Leia. The secret meetings between him and Leia are probably just because Leia is still known as a bastard child.

“Your Grace, I have something to tell you.”

“…What is it?”

The Duke took a step closer. I felt awkward and took a step back.

“Leia is…”

“……”

“Leia is not a bastard child. Her brother and mother have the proof.”

I glanced at the Duke’s face. There was a slight crack in his usual impassive expression. What does that mean? Is he surprised? Or is he stunned that I dared to speak up about Leia?

“That has… nothing to do with me.”

After a long silence, the Duke finally spoke. What does that have to do with him? If he’s planning to marry Leia, to make her his official partner, then this is essential information. I thought maybe he was asking how I knew, so I answered.

“I found out by chance. Since I saw that you brought her, I thought I should tell you.”

“Again, I didn’t bring Leia here for that reason. After the banquet, she’ll return.”

“……”

The Duke stared at me silently before sighing deeply.

“I didn’t come out here to hear that.”

“Yes?”

He didn’t answer my question. Without another word, he turned and headed back to the banquet hall. His white cloak, with only the inside in navy blue, fluttered as he walked away.

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