I Refuse This Life, Your Highness! - Chapter 35

“Did I hear that right? A kiss of triumph?”

While I was still dazed, the Duke lightly fluttered his lips near my cheek and then pulled back. He really did give me a kiss of triumph. Though his lips never actually touched mine, my face turned bright red.

“Your Grace…”

“I’ve never seen this reaction before.”

“Is that so…?”

For a moment, I wondered if this had happened before, but then I quickly realized that it wasn’t about me. I was the first official Duchess, so it could be from one of his past lovers—though there had never been any talk of the Isel Duke having a lover in Airdren or the capital—or maybe… it was Leia.

How would Leia have reacted, I wondered? She might have shyly smiled and kissed the Duke’s cheek, or perhaps even accepted his kiss warmly. Maybe, it wouldn’t have been on the cheek at all but on the lips.

While I was lost in thought, Erma spoke up.

“We’ve prepared the banquet, Your Grace. Please, rest and remove your armor first.”

“Alright.”

The news of the Duke’s arrival had come in the morning, but it seemed they had been ready to host the banquet at any moment. Both the Duke and I went to our rooms to change before heading to the banquet hall.

Thinking of the clothes I had worn in the capital, the banquet attire that Boen and Resilly had helped me with felt quite comfortable. Once again, the Duke came to escort me to the banquet.

I couldn’t stop thinking about the kiss of triumph. He hadn’t even touched his lips to mine, but I had to keep resisting the urge to touch my face. A few times, I probably couldn’t help but touch my cheek.

“How was the capital? Was everything fine?”

“Ah… Yes, it was fine.”

“Lord Leon said something different.”

The Duke, who had sat next to me, stared at me intently. After all, Lord Leon must have reported everything, including the incident with the wolf’s blood. It had been a while since that happened, and even after a bath, the thought of it still made my nose twitch with the lingering scent of blood. Without thinking, I lifted my arm to sniff it.

“Don’t worry. You only smell like yourself, nothing like that.”

“……”

It was a comforting remark, though it was also a little embarrassing. The Duke always made such comments with a blank expression. If you only looked at his face, you’d think he was saying something like, “You smell like blood. Get away,” but the content of his words was completely different.

“The Emperor has a cruel nature and enjoys seeing others suffer.”

“……”

It was the truth. The Emperor had laughed as he watched me gasp in fear from the wolf’s blood. Just thinking about his red eyes filled with malice sent chills down my spine. I trembled again, remembering the feeling of blood splattering on me. The Duke asked once more, noticing my discomfort.

“Was there anything else?”

“The Emperor tried to give me a communication crystal.”

“Such absurdity. Did you accept it?”

“No, of course not.”

The Duke tilted his head slightly.

“Now that I think about it, your family didn’t send a communication crystal.”

“Well… it’s such an expensive item.”

“Usually, when you marry someone as far as Isel, a communication crystal is sent along with the bride.”

“I apologize for the lack of a dowry.”

I tried to brush it off with a joke, but the Duke chuckled softly and changed the subject.

“They say the winter apricots have been harvested.”

“Oh… Already? Time flies.”

“They ripen quickly once the fruit is ready.”

The short harvesting period was one of the downsides of winter apricots. They ripen quickly and then fall just as fast. Just thinking about the taste made my mouth water. Even though I was eating other food, I couldn’t stop thinking about it.

Finally, for dessert, they brought out a treat made from winter apricots.

The winter apricots on top were glazed with sugar syrup, making them shine, and the tart was slightly tough but crisp. The cream, made from apricots and honey, was packed tightly, ready to burst out when pressed, and the almond sauce sprinkled on top, with its savory and sweet taste, complemented the winter apricots perfectly.

It was, of course, deliciously sweet, enough to melt on my tongue. After eating the last piece, I sighed in satisfaction, only to feel someone’s gaze on me. Turning my head, I saw the Duke staring at me.

Had I eaten too quickly? I nervously touched my mouth.

“Should I have them bring more?”

“Oh, no, I’m full now.”

“Alright then… I think I’ll go get some fresh air.”

The Duke picked up his cloak, draping it over his shoulders, and stood, glancing down at himself as if adjusting his appearance. Then, he set off toward the terrace.

“……”

I stared at him for a moment, then suddenly stood up.

The Duke…

“Your Grace!”

When I ran up to him and grabbed his arm, he looked surprisingly startled, turning to face me.

“You’re limping!”

I shouted in a small voice, and the Duke raised an eyebrow.

“You have good observation skills.”

“Well… it’s just… I noticed that you’ve been hiding it well.”

“I was planning to go to the terrace. What about you?”

“……”

For some reason, it felt like I should follow him. The Duke seemed to pay more attention to his steps, and soon, he no longer limped at all. I felt a bit guilty for having made him uncomfortable.

We stepped out onto the terrace, where the cold breeze already tousled my hair. The Duke leaned one arm lightly on the railing and stared at me before speaking.

“I’m sorry for making you meet with the Emperor alone.”

“Oh, no.”

I shook my head, but then something strange occurred to me.

“By the way, the monster appeared so opportunely. Do you think the Emperor…?”

I was about to ask if the Emperor had targeted the Duke’s ankle, but the Duke shook his head.

“I suspected that too, but it wasn’t the Emperor’s doing. They’re investigating it now.”

“I see.”

I felt a little embarrassed, as if I had thought too much. My cheeks turned red. Up until the moment we entered the palace, I was certain that the Emperor had nothing to do with it. But when he took me to the Lamia concubine’s quarters, my certainty suddenly wavered. It wasn’t because of me— I wasn’t the reason he might want a private meeting. It was because I was a Lamia. The Emperor’s obsession with Lamia concubines was quite well-known.

But now that the Duke had spoken so decisively, I found my thoughts growing more complicated. Maybe it was just an unfounded suspicion, after all.

“You must be getting busy with preparations for the Full Moon Festival.”

“Ah, yes.”

The Full Moon Festival was a large holiday, following the Harvest Festival. It was a day for confessing to loved ones and for couples to grow closer. Naturally, the Duke’s household also held a grand feast to celebrate.

“The one who’s really busy is the steward. As for me, I just prepare clothes and accessories, and increase the donations. If there were more family members at the Duke’s residence, it would be different, but it’s just the Duke and me.”

The Duke’s wife had to take care of dozens of family members at times. In that sense, I considered myself somewhat lucky. It was Erma who would be dying from exhaustion with all the Full Moon Festival preparations. Having already been whipped, she was now running around, likely feeling like she was on the verge of collapsing.

I thought this to myself, but the Duke suddenly spoke.

“Would you like to take a walk in the maze garden?”

“Huh? Your Grace, your leg…”

“It’s fine. The injury is on my foot, so walking feels awkward, but it’s not a serious wound.”

If he said it was fine… I followed him down the terrace steps, heading toward the maze garden. The Duke led the way, just a step ahead of me.

How long had we been walking through the winding maze? When we finally reached the center of the maze, I could see the light from a decorative window stretching across the still green grass.

It was the familiar flower-patterned lattice design. Looking up, I could see that the light was coming from the interior of the dressing room.

“It’s a pleasant sight, whether you’re looking from inside or outside.”

The light from the window cast a pattern on the grass, almost like a magic circle. From afar, I could hear the loud noise from the banquet hall and the characteristic wind of early winter, along with the faint scent of dried air and a campfire. It was a calming scene.

While I was still staring at the light, the Duke stood beside me, looking at the same view. Suddenly, a question that had been lingering in my mind bubbled up, spilling out like water overflowing from a cup.

“Your Grace, why are you so kind to me?”

The Duke turned his head toward me. It was an odd question, and I could tell that, considering the circumstances, asking it made sense.

My family was well-known for its close ties to the Emperor. Since I came from that family, perhaps the Emperor and I had some hidden connection, something I was skillfully hiding. In that sense, it would be only natural for the Duke to suspect me first.

But why was he being so kind to me?

Even if there was no suspicion, I was still a Lamia, a young woman with no real abilities. There was no reason for the Duke to treat me well.

I didn’t voice all of this, instead leaving the question vague and watching the Duke.

He was silent for a while before finally responding.

“…This time, I saw something different.”

I blinked, not quite understanding what he meant.

“I made sure to investigate and confirm that you have no ties to the Emperor.”

Ah, that’s what he meant. I nodded slowly.

“Thank you for believing me.”

It was an appropriate response, but it felt strange. The Duke’s kindness and gentleness were making my heart waver. I had planned to reject him, but now I found it harder to do so.

But in my past life, he had… though, that was the past. The Duke wasn’t responsible for those actions, yet here I was, hesitating and pushing him away over something that wasn’t even his fault.

My thoughts were tangled. I wanted to talk to someone, to get some clarity, but there was no one I could confide in. Not unless I found someone who had turned back time.

After a long pause, I finally asked the Duke.

“Your Grace, what if someone troubled you in a dream?”

“…In a dream?”

“Yes, if they tormented you horribly in a dream. But then, when you woke up, they treated you well. How do you think you’d feel about that person?”

I felt embarrassed by how strange the question sounded and couldn’t bring myself to look at the Duke. But the Duke answered immediately.

“Logically, I shouldn’t feel anything, but emotionally, I’d naturally be angry. Very…”

I flinched and instinctively stepped back. The Duke had moved closer and was now looking into my face.

“If it was a very vivid dream…”

“…Do you think so?”

“Yes.”

The Duke took two steps back. I pressed my hand to my chest, trying to calm my pounding heart, unsure of where to look. When I finally lifted my head, the Duke spoke again.

“Was it a nightmare?”

As soon as I looked up, the Duke was standing right in front of me again. I froze, and before I could react, his hand gently cupped my cheek. His hand was large, firm, and warm. The warmth of the Duke.

“My dear, was the dream you had… a really bad nightmare?”

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