I Refuse This Life, Your Highness! - Chapter 34

The Emperor took me, dressed in heavy, ornate clothes, into the carriage, heading toward the imperial hunting grounds. The clothes were directly chosen by the Emperor. They were even more extravagant than the ones I wore yesterday, uncomfortable, and appeared expensive. The lace on the many layers of this costly outfit was already turning blue from the water, but neither I nor the Emperor paid any attention to it.

“There are many cute animals in this hunting ground. Would you like to catch one? Ah, with that outfit, it might be difficult.”

“…I apologize.”

It wasn’t something I should apologize for, but I had no choice but to respond like that. The Emperor chatted and laughed on his own. I followed his lead, laughing along, giving short replies, or responding in a way that resembled the ‘Lamia’ he desired.

After a while, the Emperor’s attendant brought a horse. The Emperor swiftly mounted it and reached out his hand to me. I froze in shock at the meaning of his gesture, and the Emperor burst out laughing.

“It was a joke! What a naive face you have. Wait here for a moment. I’ll catch a cute rabbit or something.”

With that, the Emperor tugged the reins and disappeared into the forest. I stood there, trembling with discomfort, thinking about the hand the Emperor had extended to me. It meant that he wanted me to ride with him on the horse. Unless, in unavoidable circumstances, a knight offers to help his master’s wife onto the horse, asking a married woman to sit in front of the horse was not only rude but an act of mockery, no matter how much of an Emperor he was.

After the Emperor disappeared, attendants came to set up a place for me to sit. It even seemed that the air around me carried the Emperor’s presence, so I didn’t sit down and stood quietly, waiting for him. Though I disliked the thought of waiting for him, it was inevitable that once he returned, something would happen, and I could return home.

The sound of grass rustling in the wind made me think back to some of the scenes I had seen in Isel with the Duke. I wondered if the Duke was okay.

I decided to change my plans and thought I would leave for Isel tonight. I hurried my steps, hoping to revisit the reed field I had visited with the Duke. Even if I was alone, I would be fine.

How much time had passed? The sound of hooves reached my ears. The Emperor was finally coming back, and just as I turned my head, the surroundings became chaotic. A wolf was rapidly approaching, and the Emperor, still on his horse, was chasing it.

“……!”

I thought about running, but my eyes met the Emperor’s, who was behind the wolf. He was smiling. He had deliberately driven the wolf this way. A feeling of dread washed over me. I could tell that the Emperor wanted me to run away and look foolish. I clenched my teeth and stood my ground.

“Your Grace, please avoid it!”

Someone shouted, but the wolf was too fast, charging at me like lightning. With each blink, it was closing in like the wind. It was too late to run now. Just as the wolf was about to leap and strike, I shut my eyes. At that moment, something hot and sticky poured all over my face and body.

“……?”

The stench was so strong it made my head spin, and slowly, I opened my eyes. My eyes were wet, making it hard to open them fully. After blinking several times, I could barely see, and I couldn’t help but retch. My whole body was drenched in blood. The wolf that had been charging at me lay motionless on the ground, its limbs splayed out, and beside it… the Emperor was holding the wolf’s head.

“How is it, Your Grace? Do you like it?”

“……Aah!”

Before I could stop myself, I screamed. The Emperor had brought the severed wolf’s head right in front of my face. He smiled at my scream, pleased with my reaction. I immediately regretted it, but it was too late. The wolf’s half-closed eyes, its mouth gaping open, the cross-section of its severed neck still dripping with steaming hot blood…

The wolf’s yellowed teeth were covered in blood like a spider’s web, and its long fangs, as long as my fingers, gleamed, still stained with some unknown animal’s flesh. The sickening smell of metal and rot, mixed with the blood, filled the air, and the damp atmosphere hit my face. My body trembled involuntarily.

“Hm, I was going to give you the wolf’s pelt, but it seems Your Grace doesn’t like wolves. I’ll give you something else.”

“……”

The Emperor chuckled and tossed the wolf’s head away. I could only stand there, unable to sit, my stomach turning with nausea.

The attendants came and wiped the blood from my body. Thankfully, the blood, which hadn’t been there for long, was mostly cleaned off as the attendants worked diligently. The smell of blood still lingered, however.

“I’m thirsty. Let’s have some tea. Your Grace, go change your clothes.”

“Yes, Your Majesty.”

I barely managed to answer before heading to somewhere in the palace to change my clothes. Like before, the clothes were uncomfortable and heavy. While changing, I adjusted my hair and wiped off some of the remaining blood with warm water, but unless I immersed myself in hot oil all day, it seemed the blood and smell wouldn’t go away.

After changing, I got back into the carriage, and I realized where we were heading.

‘…This dirty…’

It was the corner of the palace where the Emperor’s Lamia concubines resided.

Suppressing my shame and humiliation, I climbed into the carriage and tried to calm my emotions. After all, the Emperor was the one in charge. No matter what he did to me, I couldn’t slap the Emperor’s face. If I did, it wouldn’t just be my problem; my Duke and my family would also bear the consequences. I took a deep breath, trying to calm myself. This was my second life. I had already died once and caused the deaths of my family. No matter what happened, I couldn’t let that happen again.

…It seemed my mind was beginning to settle.

The carriage was headed for the Emperor’s rose greenhouse.

Upon entering the greenhouse, the Emperor was sitting at a table, drinking tea. A box wrapped in brocade was placed in front of him. Was that the gift he had mentioned? I was now curious about what item would be inside.

“I apologize for keeping you waiting, Your Majesty. Please forgive me.”

I knelt lightly before the Emperor. He smiled and gestured for me to sit.

“It’s fine, I too was at fault. Please, sit.”

It wasn’t that he had a fault; it was shamelessness from start to finish. As the attendant poured tea into my cup, the Emperor pushed the box toward me.

“This is my gift to you. You may consider it a late wedding present.”

“I am deeply honored, Your Majesty.”

I immediately knelt before him again, received the box with both hands, bowed my head once more, and opened it. I almost dropped it.

“Your Majesty…”

“What’s wrong?”

“Your Majesty… This… this precious item, please take it back.”

“Hmm.”

The Emperor smiled, looking pleased.

Inside the box was a communication crystal ball. It was a rare item that ordinary people could never dream of owning. It was used for communication between nations, and even for personal use, its value could equal the cost of several mansions, with the upkeep and usage fees also being astronomical.

“What’s so surprising? If the Duke’s wife had set her mind to it, she could have arranged for you to marry somewhere far, like Isel, and could have even gotten you something like this.”

I wasn’t sure about that. I didn’t know if my family had the financial resources for something like that. Either way, receiving a communication crystal as a gift was too much. When I trembled and asked the Emperor again to take it back, he called for an attendant, as if there were no other choice.

“The Duke’s wife has a small heart, it seems. Shall I give you something else?”

“Thank you.”

I lowered my head deeply. He probably never intended to give the crystal in the first place. Even if he insisted, I had planned to refuse somehow. What use would a communication crystal be at the Duke’s residence? I had no idea what his intentions were.

Next, the Emperor had an attendant present me with a beautiful bracelet.

“Thank you for Your Majesty’s grace.”

This time, I accepted it without protest. This, I was sure, was the real gift.

“You must be painting your portrait by now?”

“Yes, that’s correct.”

It wasn’t unusual for a portrait to be painted soon after a wedding, so the Emperor’s guess wasn’t surprising.

“Could you send a copy to me as well? I’d like something to please my eyes.”

“…Of course, Your Majesty.”

He wanted the bracelet to appear in the portrait. Reluctantly, I agreed and we had a brief tea time. The smell of blood still lingered, but the Emperor casually drank his tea.

“Duke’s wife.”

“Yes, Your Majesty.”

“Is the Duke treating you well?”

I couldn’t help but raise my head at the Emperor’s words. Our eyes met. His red eyes reminded me of the blood from earlier, which made me uneasy.

“Yes, he treats me without fault.”

“That’s a relief.”

After that, the Emperor didn’t do anything further, and soon the tea time ended. I returned home, dressed in the clothes the Emperor had chosen, like a doll. Despite having the carriage windows open for the two-hour ride to Airdren, the smell of blood didn’t dissipate.

As soon as I returned home, I tore off the clothes the Emperor had put on me. Lis and Feya were surprised by both my change of clothes and the way I angrily threw them off. They seemed worried, as if something had happened in the palace.

“There’s nothing to worry about. It’s not what you think. I just… got covered in blood.”

“Blood?!”

“Yeah, so hurry up, I need a bath. Use all the oils and soap you have.”

Lis and Feya, along with the servants, quickly got to work. My parents and brothers didn’t ask anything, perhaps having received some sort of message. After spending about two hours in the bath, I felt somewhat refreshed. The smell of blood was gone, though the sensation of having been drenched in it hadn’t completely faded.

But the severed wolf’s head kept coming to mind. I touched the back of my neck. Dressed in comfortable clothes, I walked back and forth in the room before speaking to Feya.

“Where are Leon and Boen?”

“They’re resting in their rooms.”

“Tell them to meet me. We’ll be leaving soon. Have the carriage prepared.”

“Eh?! Young master!”

Lis was startled.

“Do it. I’ll talk to my parents and brothers.”

With my firm attitude, Lis and Feya exchanged glances and reluctantly began preparing. I immediately headed to the living room, where my parents and brothers were having tea. It was a good time to talk.

“I’m planning to return to Isel tonight.”

“What? We were supposed to go the day after tomorrow.”

Liseon frowned and asked.

“Well… it seems the Duke will be returning soon.”

“What does that have to do with it?”

“He’s leaving for his first campaign after the wedding. I want to greet him.”

It was an excuse, though not entirely a lie. It was his first campaign after the wedding, and I wanted to welcome him in the Duke’s courtyard. Besides, I didn’t want to stay in the capital any longer. Airdren was not far from the palace and the capital, but the thought of the Emperor being nearby was unbearable. I needed to be far away from him right now.

Reluctantly, they agreed, and the carriage left Airdren that night. I wanted to reach Isel as quickly as possible, hoping to arrive before the Duke. I minimized rest breaks, eager to get there. After all, I was the one who needed rest the most, so there was no need to rush anyone else.

We arrived in the Duke’s residence two days earlier than planned. The usually quiet Duke’s estate was now bustling, as a message had arrived saying the Duke would be returning today. If we had been any later, I might have missed him.

The Duke was expected to arrive soon. I dressed properly and, along with the servants, headed to the front courtyard. Erma, still limping slightly, had been punished with thirty lashes, but it wasn’t as severe as it seemed.

In the late afternoon, the sunlight began to turn red as it poured over the Duke’s estate. I stood there, waiting for him. Soon, cheers could be heard from outside the castle. The Duke was coming. The cheers grew louder and closer.

The castle gates were thrown open. He rode a black steed and was at the front of the procession. I quietly watched him approach. He was wearing armor, which was unusual for the castle, and a helmet. Flags bearing the Isel Duke’s crest fluttered on either side of him.

When the procession reached the courtyard, it stopped. I, too, stood at the front to greet them. The Duke dismounted and removed his helmet. His dark hair fluttered in the breeze, and his golden eyes gleamed in the setting sunlight. He seemed a little tired.

I found myself staring at him, captivated. His long eyelashes framed his eyes, and despite his fatigue, they shone like jewels.

“You’re back early, my dear.”

“Yes, the schedule was moved up.”

I didn’t say anything further about why, and that was all I said. The Duke, holding his helmet under his arm, slowly approached me. He looked like a solid, reliable mountain. His perfectly fitted armor, the faint scent of metal, and the large cloak fluttering in the wind made him seem like a god of war.

“Well then, my dear.”

“Yes?”

He slightly lowered his head.

“…A kiss of triumph for your husband.”

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