I Refuse This Life, Your Highness! - Chapter 33

Dinner was in a warm and relaxed atmosphere. Mother smiled for the first time in a long while, and Father’s expression was softer than usual. Levien and Riseon also chatted more than usual to match the mood.

“Looks like the table is filled with all the dishes you like today,” Riseon remarked.

“…Oh? Oh, yes,” I quickly responded. But in truth, the table was set more with the food my parents and brothers enjoyed rather than my own preferences. I wasn’t picky about food, so whenever someone asked what I liked, I simply nodded, leaving everyone unsure of my true preferences.

The one dish I actually liked—mushrooms—was placed in front of Levien, as it was made because he had wanted it. The arrangement was slightly amusing. But did it really matter? It was the first meal with my family in nearly a month, and the mood was good. Food was all the same once eaten, after all.

The only issue was my lack of appetite due to fatigue, making it difficult not to get caught nibbling at my food. Other than that, it was an enjoyable time.

“Shall we move to the parlor? Yuraine, since you’ve come home after so long, you should have some tea,” Mother suggested.

“Sure, Mother.”

In truth, I was so exhausted I wanted to skip tea, skip the bath, and just lie down. But I couldn’t refuse Mother’s request. Besides, my parents were still dressed in their formal attire from the audience with the Emperor, so it would’ve felt awkward to excuse myself to change and return later. So, I headed to the parlor as I was.

The dress I wore today could hardly be called simply “formalwear.” It included earrings the size of fists, a hairpiece that was practically a tiara, rings, bracelets, a necklace, and a wide skirt adorned with layers of frills and lace—all in line with the Emperor’s taste.

By the time we arrived, tea and refreshments had already been laid out on the parlor table. Mother poured me a cup herself and said warmly, “You look absolutely stunning today, Yuraine.”

“Mother…”

“Yes, you made me so proud before His Majesty,” Father added.

Hearing that, my cheeks flushed as I smiled, reaching to touch my warm face. My parents, whom I hadn’t seen in nearly a month, were exceptionally affectionate. My brothers chimed in as well, backing up our parents’ praise, saying I looked lovely, that I wore it well, and that I was a perfect match to stand beside the Emperor.

As someone who usually stayed quiet during family gatherings, I wasn’t used to receiving so much attention, but it made me happy. Still, I felt a little guilty for being so tired that their words barely registered. Their compliments slid past my ears, and I responded with little more than nods, smiles, and faint “yeses.”

The tea time stretched on for two hours, a rarity. Levien and Riseon began recounting their experiences during their visit to the ducal estate. It seemed like my parents were already aware of the events, but they repeatedly brought me into the conversation, drawing it out further.

“Anyway, the Duke is definitely no ordinary person,” Riseon remarked.

“Of course not. I hear he’s a terrifying man. Yuraine, are you alright living with him?” Mother asked, her gaze settling on me.

Though I was nearly nodding off, her question startled me awake. I quickly shook my head.

“No, he’s not that… scary anymore.”

In my past life, he had terrified me so much. But now, I was fine. Perhaps it was because he treated me so kindly? My family had always warned me to beware of people who were overly kind, yet I couldn’t help but wonder if I had let my guard down.

The conversation shifted to the jewel theft incident. Riseon huffed with indignation, and Levien frowned deeply, clearly upset.

“Someone in the Duke’s household must have framed her. I’m worried about Yuraine,” Levien said.

“…Surely the Duke wouldn’t have done it on purpose,” he added.

“Brother!” I blurted out, feeling a sudden chill. The idea that the Duke would do something like that was absurd. If anyone should know better, it was these two.

“What are you saying? His Highness even vouched for Riseon. You both know that,” I retorted.

“…”

“He testified that Riseon never left her place in the garden, even though she had gone out for some air.”

At that moment, the atmosphere turned cold and silent. I realized too late that my words might have implied Riseon had left her spot and gone somewhere else. It also could’ve sounded like I was siding with the Duke.

Flustered, I stammered, “I-I wasn’t siding with His Highness. It’s just… that…”

“It’s fine, Yuraine. It’s only natural to defend your husband,” Father said, cutting me off.

“Yes, and you should maintain that attitude no matter where you go,” he added firmly.

Mother soon called for fresh tea, and the conversation eased slightly. Still, as often happened when I inadvertently upset the mood, I remained downcast for the rest of the gathering.

“It’s getting late. You should all retire and rest,” Father finally said after 10 p.m. Various conversations had continued until that point, mostly revolving around me. My brothers brought up embarrassing stories of mistakes I made as a child, laughing about them one by one. While they were mortifying to me and not at all funny, it was better than letting the atmosphere remain tense, so I laughed along.

After two long hours, we finally left the table, and I was able to return to my room. Familiar faces were waiting for me there.

“Ris! Pea!” I exclaimed.

“Milady!”

I hugged my two loyal attendants one by one, overjoyed to see them again.

“We’re so glad you’re back, Milady.”

“I missed you, too,” I replied warmly.

Spending time with my attendants was far more relaxing than the tense hours I had spent with my family. Ris and Pea immediately began fussing over me.

“My goodness, have you been wearing this dress all day?” Ris exclaimed.

“You should’ve been allowed to change before dinner,” Pea added, exasperated.

“Well, my parents were still in their audience attire,” I explained.

“But they only wore those right before the audience. You’ve been in this since the long carriage ride! And their outfits were much lighter than yours,” Pea insisted.

“It’s alright. I can finally take it off now,” I said with a weary smile.

The worried attendants quickly helped me out of my clothes. The dress, which felt as rigid as armor, was peeled off layer by layer. The servants were simultaneously busy removing the jewelry and undoing my hair. After quite some time, I was finally down to a single thin robe.

“Ha….”

It felt as though the blood that had been stagnant was now circulating through my entire body. Breathing freely again was such a relief. The formal attire at the Duke’s estate was also uncomfortable and stifling, but nothing compared to this. Truly, the Emperor’s taste was utterly dreadful.

“We’ve prepared the bathwater, but if you’re too tired, you can just go straight to bed. We’ll clean your face and body for you,” said Rise.

“No, I’ll bathe.”

Rise nodded and helped me to the bathroom. I thought the assistance was unnecessary, but as the tension drained from me along with the removal of the heavy attire, my legs wobbled, and I stumbled slightly.

While they attended to my bath, massaging my shoulders and limbs in the warm water, Rise and Pea asked questions about the Duke’s estate.

Thankfully, they didn’t ask if the Duke was scary or anything of the sort. They were simply curious about Isser as a place, purely out of interest.

As my body melted into the warmth, I slowly explained what Isser was like: vast lands, exciting festivals, joyful people, beautiful stars, flowers, silver grass fields, and sprawling winter apricot orchards.

While washing my hair, Rise asked hesitantly, “So, will His Grace allow us to visit you there?”

“…In a year, perhaps?” I replied.

“Yes,” she said.

Because of the stiff cream applied to fix my hair, rinsing it out took a long time. Still, Rise didn’t complain, meticulously washing, scrubbing, and rinsing again while waiting for my answer.

The truth was, I’d likely return to Airden in just two more months. But I couldn’t bring myself to say it aloud. Instead, I smiled.

“Yes, there’s a law that makes it difficult right now, but I’m sure he’ll allow it in a year.”

“Oh, I understand. It’s because they’re wary of outsiders, isn’t it?” Rise nodded knowingly.

Of course, she was perceptive. Smiling, I raised my damp hand and gently touched her soft cheek.

“That’s right. There are many reasons for their wariness of outsiders… But don’t mention this in front of my parents or brothers.”

“I wouldn’t dream of it. Besides, I’ve never even spoken to them before. Don’t worry, Milady,” Rise replied with a reassuring smile.

“Good.”

After the bath, as they dried my hair, I drifted off, nodding here and there, half-asleep. When I finally lay down in bed, I was nearly unconscious. Pea pulled the blanket up to my neck, tucking me in.

The olive leaf patterns on the white duvet felt slightly unfamiliar.

‘Will His Grace be alright…?’

He had assured me it was nothing to worry about, but how could I not be concerned? What kind of monster was it? Could he have been injured? If the Duke needed to go himself, it must have been serious. Lost in these thoughts, I drifted into sleep and dreamed of the Duke returning injured.

The Next Morning

“Again?”

Before I realized it, I had raised my voice. Mother frowned at me, and I hurriedly bowed my head in embarrassment, quickly explaining my outburst.

“I-I’m sorry! I was just so surprised.”

It was only natural for me to be startled. In fact, Mother should have been just as surprised, yet she looked completely unbothered. The Emperor had summoned me again—today, immediately.

“The Emperor has called for you, and that’s your reaction?” she asked sharply.

“It’s just… it’s so sudden,” I stammered.

“It shows how much favor His Majesty has for you. Don’t act so insolently. Do you think that becoming the Duchess puts you on equal footing with His Majesty? Even the Duke is merely His Majesty’s vassal.”

Her frown deepened. Panicking, I quickly replied, “Of course not, Mother! I would never think that.”

Not once had such a thought crossed my mind. If I had, I wouldn’t have traveled from the Duke’s estate to here in the first place. My reaction was simply because I didn’t want to see the Emperor again.

“His Majesty said he was very pleased with you yesterday. You should feel honored. He has even decided to bestow a gift upon you, so go with gratitude.”

“A gift…?” I echoed, startled.

“Yes… And forgive me for raising my voice, Yuraine. I just don’t want you to forget your duties and manners as the Duchess of Isser and a loyal servant of His Majesty. Especially since the Emperor holds our family, Lamia, in such high regard, you must serve him with your utmost sincerity.”

“Yes, Mother… I’m sorry.”

“Good. Now go and prepare yourself.”

“Yes.”

And so, just like the day before, I found myself dressed in the extravagant attire that the Emperor preferred and climbing into the carriage.

Support