I Refuse This Life, Your Highness! - Chapter 32

A few days after my brothers left, I also boarded the carriage heading to the capital. Contrary to the original plan to travel with the Duke, I was alone. News had come that a monster had suddenly appeared in the area where Baron Bihen was stationed.

Sir Leon, the captain of the guard, and Bohen, along with three servants, followed me. Leslie stayed behind at the Duke’s residence to handle letters and various messages on my behalf.

In my past life, I never received any correspondence, but now it was strange to have a servant stay behind for such matters.

Bohen, who had been riding his horse, joined me in the carriage to discuss matters concerning the imperial palace.

“You must be tired, Your Highness, but the Emperor prefers guests to dress in elaborate attire, so your clothes and accessories will likely become quite heavy.”

It wasn’t something for him to apologize for. After nodding, we talked about various things, but then he suddenly said,

“By the way, when Your Highness visited the imperial palace as a child, Master Erma often accompanied you, didn’t he?”

“…Wasn’t the Duke and the Chief Steward the same age?”

The Duke began frequenting the imperial palace around the time of the disappearance of the first prince, who was the older brother of the current emperor, when he was barely ten years old. Even if Erma was a servant’s son, I wondered if it would be difficult for someone of the same age to accompany him at the imperial palace.

Bohen laughed.

“That’s true. But it seems that His Majesty the Emperor was quite fond of Master Erma.”

“His Majesty?”

That was an unexpected combination. The Emperor was four years older than the Duke, which meant it was entirely possible that the Emperor might have drawn Erma into his service for spying purposes. Could that have been the case? Could Erma still…

No. I shook my head. The Duke was not a fool. It would be strange if he didn’t notice even minor misdeeds, let alone espionage. I dismissed that suspicion. After all, Erma had been a loyal Chief Steward until I appeared.

The conversation shifted to other topics. Five days passed as we traveled by carriage.

Finally, we entered the capital. It would have been nice to rest for a day at home to recover from the journey, but since I had received an invitation from the Emperor, I had to go directly to the palace.

From the moment I left in the morning, the heavy clothes I wore made me exhausted even before we passed the main gate of the imperial palace. The Emperor had such poor taste. He expected visitors to arrive dressed like expensive ornaments, like dolls dressed up for display.

It gave me the feeling that people were treated more like spectacles than humans.

No one except royalty could ride a carriage inside the imperial palace. So, I had been dreading the thought of walking through the gate in this attire, but the carriage smoothly entered. Oh, of course. Since the Duke was of royal blood, as his wife, I received the same treatment.

The carriage glided into the central garden, and Bohen, who had been walking behind, opened the door and extended his hand to me. As I took his hand and stepped out of the carriage, I saw a garden full of flowers, even in winter.

The imperial knights and attendants bowed deeply as I passed.

“His Majesty is in the rose conservatory.”

Following one of the attendants, I moved forward. Only Sir Leon and Bohen followed behind me. After lifting my heavy skirt, I walked for a while, and soon the pointed glass roof of the conservatory appeared. It was the greenhouse where the Emperor grew the foreign roses he liked.

“Your Majesty, Duchess Yuraine Sierra of Isser has arrived.”

At first, there was no response.

After a brief pause, the attendant repeated the same message, and at last, the Emperor appeared inside the greenhouse, holding a watering can made of glass and gold.

“Ah, I kept you waiting.”

“Duchess Yuraine Sierra of Isser and Airden have come to see Your Majesty.”

I lifted my skirt and bowed to the Emperor. It felt a bit awkward, bowing to a man holding a watering can.

“Rise.”

As I straightened up, my gaze naturally fell to the watering can. It seemed like he wanted me to acknowledge it, as he had deliberately appeared holding it, ignoring the fact that it was not something that needed to be noticed.

“Are you watering them yourself?”

Indeed, the Emperor chuckled.

“It is a bit embarrassing, as that is something the attendants should do. But sometimes there are pretty things that I like to care for myself.”

“Your Majesty’s kindness is the joy of the empire.”

“Your words are lovely, Duchess Yuraine. You are indeed my joy. Sit down.”

“I am honored.”

An attendant came to pull out a chair for me. On the tea table were roses that looked freshly cut from the greenhouse. They were in vases, glass cups, and bouquets tied with ribbons. Not only on the table but also on the floor, rose buds had been arranged. When I briefly looked at the roses on the floor, the Emperor smiled contentedly.

“Are they beautiful?”

“Yes.”

It wasn’t because it was beautiful but because the flowers with only buds reminded me of severed necks. Wouldn’t they wither before the day was over when cut like this?

“Yes, tending to such lovely things is for the purpose of cutting them and using them as decorations.”

“Doesn’t it feel like a waste to see them wither?”

“How could it be a waste? This greenhouse is full of roses.”

I offered a silent smile.

“You seem even more beautiful than when you left for Isser. Look up at me.”

“….”

Caught off guard for a moment, I obediently lifted my gaze. The Emperor’s crimson eyes met mine directly. The young Emperor, with his striking golden hair and red eyes, exuded a unique air of cruelty and tyranny. As I locked eyes with him, a shiver ran through my body, making me instinctively draw back.

“I’ll pour the tea.”

“Oh, Your Majesty, how could you personally—”

Flustered, I tried to stop him, but the Emperor merely glanced up at me briefly. Inevitably, my gaze followed his. While he poured the steaming tea into my cup, he kept his eyes fixed on me without looking away even once. It was an unbearably long and intense stare.

“Duchess.”

“Yes, Your Majesty.”

“The Duke has achieved great military exploits. Are you ever afraid of him?”

Even after setting the teapot down, his gaze lingered.

“Oh, no, he is my husband. How could I be afraid of him?”

I stammered slightly in my flustered state. The Emperor rested one arm on the table, leaning toward me.

“He’s a war hero who beheads barbarians and slays monsters ten times your size with a single stroke. While he is magnificent on the battlefield, could that ferocity not surface at home? You must be used to the smell of blood by now. Are you alright with it?”

His voice was deceptively gentle.

“Well… actually, since I went to Isser, he hasn’t gone on a single campaign.”

That was the only answer I could manage. Was I ever afraid of the Duke because he smelled of blood in my previous life? Erma and the servants had often described the Duke’s military accomplishments in excessive detail. Perhaps it was true—or perhaps it wasn’t. Without realizing it, I tilted my head.

“Haha, such a charming wife, still unaware of her husband’s true nature. When he returns from his current campaign, you might get a glimpse of it. I do hope you won’t be too frightened by my unruly relative.”

His tone implied that he truly wanted me to react in a specific way. He asked if I was afraid, but his mention of “true nature” sounded more like he expected me to be terrified.

I was still caught in his gaze. Nervously, I pressed my feet together. Since the Emperor hadn’t lifted his teacup, I couldn’t use the pretense of drinking tea to escape his stare. Why was he staring so intently? It was unbearable.

“Oh, the tea will get cold. Do drink, Duchess. The steward selected this fine tea especially for you.”

“Thank you.”

Finally released from the Emperor’s gaze, I picked up the teacup. Warm steam rose from the golden-hued tea. Judging by its color, it was undoubtedly high-quality, but I couldn’t discern its scent or taste at all.

“I sent the invitation hoping to see the loving harmony of you and your husband, but it’s a pity things turned out this way.”

“My apologies.”

“No need. It’s not as if monsters announce their arrival. I am a magnanimous person; something like this doesn’t trouble me.”

The Emperor’s expression seemed genuinely cheerful as he drank his tea. On the journey here, I had briefly wondered if the Emperor had deliberately sent the monster so he could meet with me alone. But why would he go to such lengths for a private audience with me? If anything, he might have wanted to meet the Duke alone, not me.

The monster’s appearance was clearly an unexpected and unfortunate event. I had been half-skeptical before arriving, but now, seeing the Emperor’s demeanor, I was certain.

The uncomfortable tea time ended sooner than I had expected.

“Shall we leave it at this for today? Your parents are waiting for an audience.”

“My parents are here?”

Having been unable to visit home, I hadn’t heard any news of my family. I never imagined they’d be at the palace.

“Let them pick a rose for you. You can take it with you when you leave.”

This was the Emperor’s way of signaling the end of the meeting. I managed to respond, “As you wish,” and stood to see him off. After the Emperor exited the greenhouse, a servant plucked a rose for me.

When I left the greenhouse holding the thorn-free rose, there was someone besides Sir Leon and Bohen waiting for me—my mother’s attendant, Mersel.

“Duchess.”

Mersel bowed deeply.

“What brings you here?”

“The madam instructed me to wait in the lounge until the audience concludes. She said to accompany you home afterward.”

“Oh… I see!”

The mention of going home together felt so warm and familial. Feeling unexpectedly delighted, I sat in the waiting room near the audience chamber, holding the rose, and awaited my parents. The ornate clock ticked steadily. Thanks to the greenhouse’s meticulous care, the rose did not wither quickly despite being cut.

Thirty minutes passed… an hour… I began glancing at the door to the audience chamber. The audience seemed unusually long. The tea time with the Emperor had taken less than 30 minutes, and I had heard that most audiences with the Emperor lasted only about ten minutes.

Though Bohen showed no reaction, Sir Leon occasionally cast a glance toward the door. He must have found it odd as well. Finally, after a long wait, the door opened.

“Mother, Father!”

I leapt from my seat and quickly approached them. Reaching out to embrace my mother, I stopped short. Both of them seemed… strange. Their eyes looked oddly clouded.

“Yuraine.”

“You look healthy.”

They spoke in turn. My mother was the first to extend her hand to hold mine. Blinking, I looked at them again, and they appeared as normal as ever—just as they had always been.

“Did I imagine it?”

I might have, given how utterly exhausted I was.

“Let’s go home, dear,” my mother said, smiling for the first time in ages. That simple joy made all my lingering doubts fade away.

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