I Refuse This Life, Your Highness! - Chapter 24

“Your Grace, are you feeling better?”

Resilly’s concerned voice brought me back to my senses. At that moment, the events of yesterday came rushing back, how I had stumbled my way back with help, collapsed onto the bed as if drunk, and childishly whimpered for medicine.

All in front of the Grand Duke.

“…”

“You seemed very unwell yesterday, and I was worried. How are you feeling now?” she asked.

“…Water, please…” I croaked.

Resilly quickly fetched some water. The cool liquid soothed my throat and cleared my head a little. I looked down at myself and realized I was already in a fresh set of clothes—someone must have changed me while I was asleep.

“Shall I bring some medicine, Your Grace?”

“No, it’s fine.”

“Then, should I prepare a bath? His Grace sent over some fine herbs and fragrant oils.”

“…His Grace?”

“Yes!”

“…”

Why was he being so kind to me? What was his motive?

‘The Grand Duke is kind…’

Removing the cognitive dissonance between that title and the word kind made it seem like a good thing. After all, hadn’t my goal always been to earn his trust and favor?

Even if any affection he felt for me now would eventually shift to Leia when she appeared, at least he wouldn’t treat me with the same indifference as before. He wouldn’t ignore my execution altogether like last time—well, he hadn’t entirely ignored it then either. He’d shown up briefly at the end. I just couldn’t recall what he’d said.

What had he said back then?

I’m sorry?
I never meant for this to happen?

He had raised my head so carefully… Was that a figment of my imagination? Was I romanticizing the past? No, it was the Grand Duke’s current behavior that made me think this way.

What had changed?

Was I dreaming without realizing it?
Or was the Grand Duke hiding something?

“…”

No, I needed to focus on what I had to do. His kindness worked to my advantage. There was nothing to lose. Reassuring myself, I nodded quietly, just as Resilly approached to inform me that the Grand Duke had arrived.

I quickly threw on a robe over my nightclothes and went to greet him.

“You don’t need to get up. Are you feeling better?” he asked.

“Yes, Your Grace, thanks to your concern.”

“You seemed quite unwell yesterday, and I was worried… You look much better today.”

“Thank you.”

The Grand Duke tilted his head slightly, a faint smile on his lips.

“Is that something to thank me for?”

“Of course. You took care of me yesterday…”

Saying it aloud made my face heat up as I recalled my drunken, childlike behavior. The Grand Duke blinked once, his long, sharp eyes softening slightly.

“No, it wasn’t much. In any case, if you’re feeling better, shall we go for a ride?”

“A ride?”

His words took a moment to register. A ride? Out of the blue? Where?

“If you’re not too tired, that is. I know a great riding trail. I thought it might lift your spirits.”

He added, “After all, you’ll be sitting for a portrait later today. A good mood makes for a good painting, don’t you think?”

“Oh… That’s true.”

I’d nearly forgotten that today was the day for the portrait. It was an image that would last forever, so it was better to have it done in good spirits. Besides, I was feeling much better than yesterday.

I nodded.

“All right.”

“Then, Your Grace, please allow her some time to prepare,” Resilly said, bowing.

The Grand Duke nodded and turned to leave. “I’ll have Sir Raon wait by the door. Let me know when you’re ready.”

“Yes, Your Grace.”

Afterward, Resilly and Bohen hurriedly worked with the maids to help me prepare. They dressed me in form-fitting riding attire and tied my hair tightly to keep it neat even during a fast ride.

Once everything was ready, Bohen informed Sir Raon, who soon arrived to escort me.

“His Grace is waiting in the castle courtyard. Shall we go, Your Grace?”

“…Has he been waiting all this time?”

“Who knows?” Sir Raon replied with a mischievous grin. His tone was somewhere between playful and teasing, making it hard to tell if the Grand Duke had been waiting or not.

Either way, when I arrived at the castle courtyard, the Grand Duke was there with two horses: a black one for himself and a white one for me. The horses were sleek and well-groomed, their coats gleaming with countless brushstrokes. Their eyes sparkled with intelligence.

Despite my unfamiliar presence, both horses raised their heads calmly. When I cautiously reached out to stroke the white horse’s head, it snorted softly and leaned into my touch. It felt like it had been trained specifically for me.

“The horse is very gentle,” I said.

“It’s the gentlest in the Grand Duchy. It doesn’t have a name yet.”

“Why not?”

“It was raised as the Grand Duchess’s horse. You’re supposed to name it.”

This was… unexpected. In my previous life, I hadn’t even known there was a horse specifically for the Grand Duchess. Being asked to name it on the spot left me momentarily speechless. I should’ve thought of something beforehand.

“Shasha.”

After much deliberation, I decided on the name Shasha. It was the name of the horse ridden by the goddess in a celestial constellation.

“A good name,” the Grand Duke remarked. “They say horses with that name live long lives.”

It was a popular choice for many horse owners. Embarrassed by my lack of creativity, I rubbed my face briefly before stroking the horse’s mane.

“Shasha, do you like it?”

The horse responded with a gentle snort, seemingly content. I was relieved.

“Let’s go, then.”

The Grand Duke mounted his horse in one swift motion. Sir Raon approached to assist me, but I waved him off. I could manage getting on a horse by myself.

Together, the Grand Duke and I rode past the sprawling gardens and bustling streets. Once we entered the quieter outskirts, the Grand Duke led us through narrow alleys, across a district, and toward a gentle hill.

Beyond the hill, we found open space where we could ride freely. Shasha seemed to enjoy the rare opportunity to gallop, and I found myself exhilarated by the speed. After being cooped up in the Grand Duke’s castle, this burst of freedom was refreshing. The Grand Duke had been right—this was exactly what I needed.

We galloped through the rolling terrain dotted with low shrubs and bushes laden with berries. The horses, nimble and sure-footed, carried us effortlessly. Eventually, we reached the top of a hill.

The Grand Duke pulled his reins to a stop.

“You ride well, Bi. Did you train for long?” he asked.

“My eldest brother taught me,” I replied.

My parents hadn’t been particularly enthusiastic about me learning to ride, but Rivien had insisted it was a necessary skill. He had taught me for years, and as a result, I was confident in my horsemanship.

“That’s good to hear… Look over there, Bi,” the Grand Duke said, gesturing.

Following his gaze, I saw a cluster of chimneys with smoke rising, farmhouses, a small forest, and then—

“Wow… Are those winter apricots?” I exclaimed.

“They are.”

I couldn’t hide my excitement. Winter apricots were my favorite fruit. Unlike regular apricots, they only bore fruit in early winter. Their crisp texture and concentrated sweetness were unmatched.

Because they were so difficult to cultivate and their saplings hard to procure, I rarely got to enjoy them unless Rivien or Liseon brought them home. Yet here, the land was filled with winter apricot trees.

Though some trees still had lingering blossoms, others were already bearing small fruits. The thought of their tangy, sweet taste made my mouth water.

“They look like old trees. Do winter apricots naturally grow in the Grand Duchy?” I asked.

“No, they were planted recently. Do you like winter apricots?”

“I love them!” I said, perhaps too enthusiastically, and then quickly composed myself. “They’re hard to find and sell for high prices.”

Despite their value, winter apricots weren’t the most economically viable crop. The trees were vulnerable to pests and frost, and they required expert care to grow successfully. Managing such a large orchard must have been a significant effort.

Still, it wasn’t my place to comment on the Grand Duchy’s agricultural decisions. Some of the harvest would likely be sent to the castle, which meant I might get to enjoy them.

“Would you mind riding back in the dark?” the Grand Duke asked.

“If it’s the same path we took earlier, I think I’ll be fine.”

“Then let’s watch the sunset here before we head back. The portrait artist is coming this evening, right?”

“Yes, that’s correct.”

We silently watched the winter apricot orchard as the sun began its slow descent toward the horizon. Fiery hues spread across the sky, turning distant clouds into vivid reds and oranges. The deeper parts of the sky shifted to indigo, creating a stunning contrast.

The sunlight reflected off the orchard, bathing the trees in golden hues. The swaying branches cast rippling shadows across the ground, mimicking waves of liquid gold. It was breathtaking.

I couldn’t tear my eyes away. It had been so long since I’d seen such a brilliant sunset—perhaps it was the most beautiful one I’d ever witnessed. The memory of it would stay with me for a long time.

As the sky darkened into deep navy, stars began to emerge.

“We should head back before the artist arrives. You’ll need to change as well,” the Grand Duke said.

“Yes…”

Still entranced by the sunset, I replied absentmindedly. The golden glow over the winter apricot orchard was truly unforgettable.

The ride back to the castle felt shorter than the journey out. After handing Shasha and the Grand Duke’s horse to the stable hands, I returned to my chambers to prepare for the portrait session.

Resilly and Bohen were already waiting for me. After a quick wash, I changed into the elaborate outfit prepared for the occasion.

The portrait attire was lavish, adorned with necklaces, bracelets, rings, earrings, and an ornate hairpiece. Once dressed, I looked like someone who could hardly be identified as either male or female—just as my childhood portraits had always depicted me.

It was a familiar sight. Growing up, my parents had always dressed me like this for portraits, compiling them into albums to send to prospective marriage candidates.

My parents had been relentless in seeking a suitable match for me. Since Rivien and Liseon had inherited the family estate, they had worried endlessly about my uncertain future.

And yet, in my previous life, those same parents had died because of me. Thinking about it filled me with a determination to change the future.

‘I must do my best.’

With that thought, the preparations were complete. The large ruby earrings I wore sparkled in harmony with my necklace. The tightly cinched waist of the dress—well, it was essentially a dress—was uncomfortable.

Following Resilly and Bohen, I entered the parlor, where the portrait artist was already waiting.

“Humble painter Luce greets Her Grace, the Grand Duchess of Iser.”

The middle-aged artist bowed deeply. I took my seat and replied, “I trust you’ll do your best.”

“How could I not, Your Grace?”

For the next few hours, I sat adorned in heavy jewelry, reclining slightly on the sofa. As the long session dragged on, my thoughts wandered. At one point, the artist leaned out from behind the canvas and smiled.

“Your Grace, your expression is truly beautiful.”

“Pardon?”

Beautiful? I’d always been told I looked somber or gloomy. I glanced at the mirror beside me, puzzled.

“…”

I was smiling faintly.

“You must be thinking of something wonderful,” the artist continued.

His words froze me in place. Of course, I had been thinking about the sunset I’d witnessed earlier with the Grand Duke.

Support