I Refuse This Life, Your Highness! - Chapter 12

“Your Highness?”

“Lower your voice.”

Sigh… The Duke had told me to lower my voice, but after that, I couldn’t speak at all. I could have simply said I went out to take a look at the street below the castle.

“Let’s head back to the castle first.”

The Duke adjusted my robe’s hood, making sure it was properly secured, and helped me onto the horse. The well-trained horse, having been hit by a stone, had already calmed down and stood quietly.

Riding side by side with the Duke, we made our way against the flow of people toward the Duke’s castle. The castle gates opened in front of its owner. As we slowly rode across the wide meadow in front of the castle, the Duke spoke.

“You’re not trapped here, but when you go outside, let me know in advance.”

“I’m sorry.”

“……”

The Duke seemed uncomfortable with my apology.

“Did you want to see the outside?”

“Yes…”

I couldn’t bring myself to mention I had come out to investigate the embezzlement. It wasn’t the right time to report Erma’s corruption. I had considered asking why the child had thrown the stone, but thankfully, the Duke asked something else instead.

“Curious about the festival?”

“……Festival?”

I asked absentmindedly, then suddenly understood. When I was walking around earlier, there had been a lot of commotion and preparations, and thinking back, there might have been a festival around this time. In my past life, I had been too cautious and never even thought of leaving the castle.

“A festival is being held.”

At that moment, the Duke made a strange expression. It was as if he had been struck from behind. His face suggested that he found it odd I didn’t know a festival was happening today.

Considering I had just been roaming the streets, saying “a festival is being held” now probably did sound silly.

“We’ll go out again, if you’re fine with it.”

The Duke turned the horse’s head around. I was surprised and asked,

“Again? You mean outside the castle?”

“Yes.”

“Why…?”

“It’s not a large-scale event, but it’s the first festival since you arrived in the Duke’s domain. It wouldn’t be bad to go and see it.”

It was an unexpected suggestion.

Moreover, it sounded like he was inviting me to go with him. That was even more surprising. But it wasn’t a bad idea. I could feel my cheeks growing slightly warm.

“Thank you, Your Highness.”

“There’s no need to thank me.”

“And… I apologize again for leaving without permission. It was thoughtless of me.”

“You don’t need to apologize for that anymore.”

As we turned back toward the castle, neither of us spoke. After crossing the large bridge and reaching the market square, I saw a place where many horses were tied up, much like a bustling market.

The Duke’s knights, who had followed us, took the reins of their horses and respectfully bowed their heads.

The Duke and I entered the market on foot. Standing at the beginning of the festival, I couldn’t help but exclaim in awe.

Rows of lanterns stretched into the distance, fragrant woods and charcoal burned in various places, and stalls were set up in front of shops that had already closed for the day.

The area was bright, as though it were midday, and everyone walking by seemed to be in good spirits.

It wasn’t a large-scale festival, but the music, the laughter of those dancing to the beat, and the smells of food and drink were enough to make me feel elated.

“I…”

I started to say something, then hesitated. There were so many people, I figured if I called him ‘Your Highness’ or ‘Your Majesty,’ they would probably think I was joking, but I wasn’t sure.

The Duke glanced at me and casually tilted his head.

“Ishis.”

“……”

I looked at him, wondering if I had misheard. His expression showed no change.

“Say it.”

“My… name? I’m not sure about it.”

“Then what should I call you? Duke Your Highness?”

“That’s not it.”

It felt awkward because I had never called him by his name before. During the three years of our marriage, there had never been a reason for me to use his name. As I mentioned, we never even looked at each other closely.

‘Ishis.’

The voice calling his name wasn’t mine, but Leia’s.

I could vividly picture the Duke turning his head in response to that voice.

I… mustered the courage and moved my lips. My throat felt itchy, and I couldn’t muster any strength in my chest. It was a struggle to utter the three syllables.

“I-Ishis.”

“Yurein.”

“……”

Before I could even hide my face, it turned bright red, as if it were on fire. I hadn’t expected him to say my name in return.

“Shall we go?”

I hid my flushed face under the robe and stepped forward.

Right in front of us, some men were wrapping freshly fried fish in paper bags and turning to leave. The air was filled with the savory scent of sauce and fried fish.

Next to them, various meats were sizzling on skewers, glistening with oil. The vendor was placing skewers of cooked meat with onions for sale.

There were beers, wines, apricot and apple juices, cold tea, and milk mixed with cream and sugar, simmering away, as well as candies shaped into playful forms.

Despite not being a grand festival, there was plenty to see. It reminded me of the festivals in Airdan, though it had a different vibe. Especially, there were many kinds of desserts that I hadn’t seen in Airdan before.

I wasn’t particularly fond of sweets, but I could feel my appetite being stirred. As I stared at a dessert sprinkled with powdered sugar on top of jelly, the Duke approached.

“One, please.”

“Yes, thank you!”

“Ah. It’s fine, really…”

I almost said “Your Highness,” but quickly shut my mouth. The Duke silently handed me the jelly. It was much sweeter than I had expected. When he saw my displeased expression, he calmly explained.

“It’s made with honey and sugar.”

The faint floral scent at the end helped balance out the sweetness. I nodded in response.

I tightly held the jelly box in one hand as I continued to look around the stalls. The prices in Iser weren’t very expensive. Considering it was a festival market, the prices weren’t too bad.

“I… Ishis.”

As I called out his name to discuss the prices, the Duke suddenly stopped. It was as if he was surprised by his own invitation to be called.

“Should I just call you ‘Your Highness’ instead?”

“No, never mind.”

“Yes…”

It was a strange response. As I hesitated, I noticed the faintest hint of a smile at the corner of the Duke’s eyes.

“This is the first time you’ve called my name.”

I blinked. Of course, it was the first time I was calling his name—after all, it hadn’t even been a few days since we got married, and we hadn’t shared a night together yet. I couldn’t just casually call the Duke by his name.

But was it just me? When I called his name, the Duke seemed… pleased.

‘It’s just my imagination…’

The Duke turned his head again. Yes, it was probably just my imagination.

The jelly box in my hand made a soft clinking sound.

“Why did you call me?”

“No… I just thought the prices in Iser were stable.”

“They are. I’ve been keeping an eye on it.”

We walked back toward the festival street from the shopping district. They said the castle gates would remain open all night for the festival.

The people who had rented the long night enjoyed themselves, laughing and chatting.

As I was watching, I suddenly felt a sense of emptiness behind me. When I turned around, the Duke was gone. His sudden absence made it feel as if he had vanished into the ground.

“I…”

I couldn’t finish my sentence. I couldn’t call him “Your Highness,” and saying “Ishis” again felt strange. I stood there dumbly, only turning around, when the Duke appeared, holding a paper bowl in one hand.

It was so out of place for a tall, handsome man like him to be holding a paper bowl, especially one filled with fried shrimp. The shrimp, coated in coconut and fried, glistened with seasoning corn kernels.

“What… is this?”

“This is a common street food in Iser.”

“Ah, I see.”

I took the bowl in confusion. The Duke gently grabbed the corner of my robe and led me somewhere. There was a place set up for sitting and eating.

The Duke disappeared for a moment, then returned with two glasses of wine.

“There’s a different taste when you eat here than in the castle.”

I looked at the cheap wine in the rough glass and took a sip. It was tangy and sweet. Though it was inexpensive wine, the place made it feel special, just as the Duke had said.

I was about to scoop up some corn kernels with a spoon when I glanced at the Duke.

“…Aren’t you going to eat?”

“I’m fine.”

It felt strange not using a title, but there was no other way.

The shrimp was savory, and the corn was tangy. I occasionally glanced at the Duke while finishing both the food and drink. While I had one glass, the Duke made two trips to the stalls and drank three.

“When you’re done, we should head back.”

“Yes.”

I followed the others in disposing of my trash. While washing my hands and mouth at the fountain by the trash can, the Duke waited for me.

As we left the festival street, I noticed knights at the entrance with four horses.

We mounted our horses and headed toward the castle. Since there weren’t many people heading to the Duke’s castle at this hour, we stood out. Occasionally, I could feel eyes on us.

“They’ll think we’re just regular knights. Don’t mind it.”

The Duke spoke as if reading my mind.

After handing the reins to the stableman, we entered the castle. To my surprise, the Duke followed me to my room, not his own.

Why? I fidgeted, realizing it was time to sleep. The Duke would bathe and sleep in my room. For the next three months, we would share the bed.

I whispered quietly,

“Your Highness, you don’t need to change the sheets yourself anymore.”

“Why?”

“Lesilli and Bohen are trustworthy servants.”

Though I hadn’t told them the full details of our relationship, I had carefully circumscribed it. There was no concern about rumors leaking out.

“How long have you known them to trust them so?”

“Uh… Well, it hasn’t been that long, but it feels like we’ve known each other forever.”

They were people who had died for me in my past life, even though I hadn’t truly known them. They wouldn’t talk about such matters.

The Duke muttered something under his breath.

“What?”

“Nothing.”

“……?”

He seemed puzzled, but remained silent after that.

There were two bathrooms in my bedroom, just like in the Duke’s. After bathing, the Duke started polishing his sword while I dried my hair.

“Bring me some wine.”

He spoke to Lesilli after closing the sword’s scabbard.

“Your Highness.”

“Why?”

“You’ve already had some wine earlier…”

Worried that the Duke might be drinking too much, I tried to stop him, but he shrugged.

“I can’t sleep.”

“Then I’ll bring some tea that’s good for sleep.”

Following my signal, Lesilli brought some herbal tea. The Duke, with his usual blank expression, drank the tea and said,

“It seems like the alcohol is wearing off.”

“……”

We lay in bed together afterward. There was enough space between us for about three adults to sleep comfortably.

The room was dark except for a small light, and after a long time, I realized that I couldn’t sleep either. I tossed and turned like the skewers on the grill. The Duke then got up.

Even though I moved, the movement wouldn’t reach him. I froze, but then the Duke got up from the bed and went outside.

After a while, the Duke returned to the bed. I wondered if he had gone back to drinking. The smell of alcohol was overpowering. I was about to ask if he was okay when the Duke suddenly said something.

“You haven’t called me that since the first time.”

“Excuse me?”

He spoke with a hoarse voice and glanced at me.

“My name.”

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