I Heard That I am a HeartBreaker - Chapter 58

The moment Qi Sijiao heard Qiu Shuang’s words, she felt as if her heart had stopped beating. Her soul was screaming at that very second; she wanted to tell her, Yes, I like you.

Perhaps it sounded crude or nonsensical, but fate is always so unexpected. She had been attracted to her from the very first glance. She liked her; she craved to embrace her.

But when Qi Sijiao looked into Qiu Shuang’s eyes and saw a calmness mixed with an indescribable sensation, her heart instantly went cold. She didn’t know how to describe that gaze.

Qi Sijiao had never seen it before. What was it? Investigation? Fear? Disgust? She couldn’t tell. Qiu Shuang looked at her as if she were scanning an object.

In truth, Qi Sijiao was even more curious about the answer than Qiu Shuang. She wanted to know what she was in the other woman’s eyes.

A strange pursuer? An ordinary roommate? Someone to be loathed? A decent friend?

She wanted the answer, but Qi Sijiao knew she might never get it because she didn’t even have the courage to say the words. Whenever such a wild thought arose, she would fall into silence the moment she looked up into those eyes.

She always felt that Qiu Shuang could see through to the essence of her soul and the true colors of her core with a single glance. The other woman was like a seasoned hunter, quietly waiting for her, the prey, to walk right into the muzzle of the gun.

So, what result did she hope for? Did she really want Qi Sijiao to say, Yes, I like you, I hope you can accept me, please be with me? Without a doubt, the response she would receive would be just like the one given to that scumbag Gu Lingxi—nothing more than a “Good Person” card.

Furthermore, Qi Sijiao had to admit a pathetic truth: despite being scanned by that strange gaze, a sense of joy rose in her heart. Perhaps this was her crazy, twisted core—Qi Sijiao liked that gaze, the way she was treated like an object, a thing without life.

Or perhaps, she simply longed for the other woman to keep looking at her forever.

“Please don’t say that, Senior. I don’t know what there is about me that’s worth you liking. I’ve always thought we were just friends.”

When Qiu Shuang heard this sentence, her face was a total question mark. She wanted to crack open the other girl’s head to see what was inside.

Did all the previous physical altercations and the inappropriate touching just get wiped clean from the record?

Judging by this sentence, a bystander might think it was Qiu Shuang who was relentlessly pestering her. Who could have imagined that the reality was exactly the opposite?

Qiu Shuang was now wondering if aliens truly existed. She felt that an alien must have possessed Qi Sijiao’s body, causing her mind to become so muddled that she had started speaking complete nonsense.

For some reason—as ridiculous as it sounded—even though this was the result she had wanted, Qiu Shuang felt a sliver of sadness. For a long time, Qiu Shuang had been learning to control these strange emotions.

She hated losing control, hated being irrational, and hated losing her clarity.

The fact that the other girl was suddenly acting less enthusiastic was a good thing. Did that not also prove a point? Perhaps love wasn’t that solid after all.

The girl kept saying she liked her, but she hadn’t actually done anything, and she probably wouldn’t persist for long.

Perhaps it was a bit self-deprecating to describe herself this way, but it was the only thing on Qiu Shuang’s mind. She thought that she was perhaps a beautiful flower growing in the wild; maybe there would be a long-awaited rain willing to bestow its grace upon her for a summer.

But more often than not, passersby would simply pick her on a whim and then discard her by the side of the road. No matter how beautiful a flower was, living in the wild was ultimately useless.

Qiu Shuang looked at her in silence. She didn’t know what to say. It felt a bit melodramatic. She always longed for someone to touch her soul, to truly see her and be with the real her, rather than just liking this physical shell.

Everyone eventually grows old, and beauty fades. When that time comes, will love fade too? Qiu Shuang didn’t want that. She wanted someone to truly love, to love her completely—but the truth was, Qiu Shuang wasn’t even willing to peel back her own layers first.

Everyone else could only see the face beneath layers of gauze, guessing based on established patterns, and falling into madness one by one.

When Qi Sijiao saw the other woman’s silence, she finally seemed to react, growing anxious that her words hadn’t been careful enough. She only wanted to get closer to her, but looking at her current state, something seemed wrong.

To be honest, if she didn’t fix this quickly…

“No, actually… I really won’t bother you, but I have no way to stop liking you, Senior. Please don’t be so cruel, okay?”

After agonizing for a long time, Qi Sijiao finally found the will to speak her mind. She looked at her with red eyes. She knew what she would get—the “Good Person” card, or something more cruel, like being grabbed by the collar and thrown out, becoming true strangers from then on.

But things had already come this far; should she still hesitate?

Qiu Shuang closed her eyes. The speed at which this girl changed her face was faster than she could flip the pages of a book. Before she could even process her previous sadness, she saw that the other girl’s logic had apparently come back online, and she was confessing again.

Fine. It proved that aliens really did exist, and the alien had just left.

“Alright, I get it. You don’t need to say anymore.”

Qiu Shuang looked at the agitated girl and replied calmly. What else could she say? You’re so great, I’m so grateful? That would sound weird. But other than this response, Qiu Shuang couldn’t manage anything else.

“No, Senior…”

“Don’t say ‘no’!”

Qiu Shuang took the initiative, cutting off the other’s attempts to explain. She really didn’t want to hear how much the girl liked her. Even if Qiu Shuang was a bit narcissistic, it was only human nature to like oneself.

But that didn’t mean she could accept someone she had a poor opinion of pouring out their feelings and heartbeat right next to her.

It was too suffocating.

When Qi Sijiao saw her words being cut off, she completely erupted. There was a fire suppressed in her heart—whether it was from last night or things before. People are always like this; sometimes, even when they aren’t in the right, they still hope the other person will give in a little.

Qi Sijiao grabbed Qiu Shuang’s shoulders and stared at her intently.

“Don’t interrupt me, Senior. And don’t disappoint me. Please don’t refuse to give me even a sliver of a possibility, okay? I will endure it slowly… I can’t imagine what I might do to you if you completely rejected me…”

Hearing this, Qiu Shuang was even more confused—or rather, deeply shocked. She was now truly curious about what was in Qi Sijiao’s brain. She felt she should educate the girl and tell her to watch more legal programs.

“What’s the situation here? Are you saying you want to kill me because I don’t like you?”

One couldn’t blame Qiu Shuang for thinking the worst. After all, Qi Sijiao looked truly deranged right now, like she had just escaped from a psychiatric hospital. If she hadn’t spent quite a bit of time with her, Qiu Shuang would have thought some strange species had infiltrated the place.

“How could that be! Senior, I would sooner hurt myself than hurt you. I would never hurt you. It’s just… I’m afraid I won’t be able to stop myself from locking you up.”

“I’ll strip off all your clothes… use chains to tether you in a dark room, watching you cry every day like a broken faucet, constantly…”

Before Qi Sijiao could finish her terrifying sexual fantasy, she received a slap from Qiu Shuang.

Qiu Shuang felt that she had truly changed. In the past, she would never have done such a thing, but there are differences between people.

For instance, the person in front of her had completely lost all human dignity; she was purely sick. As for the rule about not hitting someone’s face, Qiu Shuang had long since cast that to the wind.

Indeed, in the face of such a person, her bottom line was being pushed back again and again.

“You are truly sick. I’m changing dorms. Your top priority is to go to a psychiatric hospital and get treated properly, you lunatic.”

After being slapped, Qi Sijiao didn’t seem angry; instead, she smiled.

“Senior, you can’t change. Without my nod, you can’t leave at all. I know where your home is. Don’t reject me, don’t leave me with zero possibility, okay? Otherwise, I really won’t be able to control my madness.”

“Just keep stringing me along like before. Don’t give anyone else a chance, and don’t give me a chance, okay? Just like this. I don’t ask for anything more.”

For a moment, Qiu Shuang really didn’t know what to say. Should she be angry at the threat first, or fall into silence at the request? What was this?

Too cowardly to be with her? Didn’t want to be with her but just wanted to be sick?

After a moment of silence, Qiu Shuang turned around and stopped talking, going back to packing her things. In any case, she wasn’t going to argue with her anymore; she would find another way later. She really didn’t want to talk to this person right now; she was afraid the girl would keep spouting a bunch of shameful things.

Seeing that the other woman was ignoring her, Qi Sijiao didn’t say anything else. She knew she had been way out of line today, but she fell into silence as she watched Qiu Shuang’s busy figure.

Qiu Shuang was only wearing a simple white T-shirt and long pants. As she bent over to spread the bedsheets, the oversized T-shirt dropped down, outlining the curve of her waist.

“Senior, I really like you so much…”

Qiu Shuang was already annoyed. Hearing the other girl murmuring behind her, she let out a sigh. She didn’t actually want to hit her again. The previous time she had lashed out, the matter had ended up going nowhere because of that girl’s “love-brain” attitude. If she hit her again this time, something might actually happen.

The girl wasn’t a fool, and if things really got physical this time, they would end up in court. Lawsuits were an absolute headache.

“Don’t be afraid, Senior. Just act like nothing happened just now, like before, isn’t that good? As long as you don’t leave my side, as long as I can see you, you can use me however you want!”

“Use you?”

When Qi Sijiao saw that Qiu Shuang was clearly interested in the idea of “using” her, she was overjoyed. It turned out she still had something that could attract her. Whatever it was, as long as it worked.

“I will definitely be obedient and listen to you, Senior!”

“Oh, that’s pretty good then. Give me all your money, and while you’re at it, stay far away from me.”

Support