After My Death, I Became a Heartless Madman - Chapter 58.2

A bowl of red bean porridge sat on the table, freshly bought by Song Shizhou from downstairs.

Bai Ruowei lowered her eyes slightly, her pale green irises shimmering with quiet disbelief. She picked up the bowl and began sipping the porridge delicately, the very picture of someone immersed in love yet remaining cautious.

But gradually, a sour ache spread through her heart.

This was how she and Song Shizhou used to interact before too. But back then, she was always busy and overlooked all these acts of kindness from Song Shizhou.

Isn’t this how they were now? One was always busy, while the other would inevitably feel their heart flutter at the other’s casual actions only their roles had reversed.

The room was quiet as Bai Ruowei silently drank her congee. The usually picky woman had somehow finished an entire bowl of red bean congee without complaint.

She gently set the bowl aside.

Because of the mark they shared, their pheromones were subtly entwined, two perfectly compatible scents slowly rising and coiling in the air like an intimate embrace.

This long-awaited intimacy filled Bai Ruowei with warmth.

But soon, Miss Bai’s heart grew heavy again.

She vaguely remembered Shizhou promising to forgive her last night, which brought her joy yet she was also afraid. Afraid it had only been a dream conjured by her unconscious mind.

Perhaps dreams always end upon waking. Perhaps she should just ask Song Shizhou directly.

Bai Ruowei had always been straightforward, but now she hesitated. Their current relationship was too precious and too fragile, making her reluctant to act recklessly.

She let this bittersweet emotion flow through her heart, finding it strangely fascinating filling her with hope yet keeping her restless.

Miss Bai’s eyes lowered slightly. Her face, worn from recent turmoil, carried a faint flush. The madness in her eyes from yesterday seemed to have completely subsided today.

Song Shizhou glanced at the bowl of medicine on the table.

“Why haven’t you taken your medicine?”

Bai Ruowei lowered her gaze, her refined features unexpectedly showing a hint of petulance.

“Because it’s bitter.”

“Be good and drink it yourself.”

The other woman said nothing but obediently picked up the bowl and drank it all.

The shallow mark removal had no lasting side effects, and Miss Bai’s constitution had always been robust. After the doctor confirmed her vitals were stable, she was cleared for discharge.

Mia waited at the hospital entrance. Seeing the two emerge together, she froze, unsure if she should even be there.

Miss Bai wore a black wool coat, her hospital gown underneath making her figure appear unusually rounded.

As Song Shizhou headed to the parking lot to retrieve the car, Mia shot Miss Bai a questioning look, asking how they would proceed.

Bai Ruowei didn’t know either.

Her mind was in turmoil, but her body moved first, she grabbed hold of Song Shizhou’s sleeve.

When their eyes met, Miss Bai found herself at a loss for words.

“When I stayed at your place last time. I left some clothes there. Can I go get them?”

Song Shizhou didn’t recall Bai Ruowei leaving anything behind.

But she agreed anyway.

Because she, too, had things she wanted to say to Miss Bai.

Song Shizhou drove steadily as the scenery outside the window gradually changed. The area around the small apartment was always lively with the hum of daily life. Bai Ruowei stared blankly at the passing view until they soon arrived.

The apartment’s elevator was finally repaired. The two stepped out one after another, but Bai Ruowei inexplicably felt a wave of tension.

She could guess that Song Shizhou had brought her back because there was something important to discuss.

Whatever was said next would determine the future of their relationship.

On her way here, her mind had spun through hundreds of possible opening lines, yet when the words reached her lips, they suddenly felt too direct, too abrupt, lacking any proper buildup.

In stark contrast to her chaotic emotions, the coat she’d left here lay draped plainly over the sofa. Bai Ruowei instinctively picked it up, but soon her fingertips began trembling slightly. Now that she’d retrieved it, there seemed no reason to stay any longer.

The room fell into sudden silence, a quiet tension flowing between them.

Bai Ruowei finally spoke, “Have you settled matters with Madam Song?”

Song Shizhou had left briefly this morning after receiving a call from the police station. The officer handling the case informed her that Madam Song was seeking reconciliation, whatever demands Song Shizhou made, she would agree to them all.

Yet Song Shizhou’s response had been unequivocal: Regardless of Song Lanyi’s wishes, her stance remained clear. She refused reconciliation.

Seemingly surprised by Miss Bai’s question, Song Shizhou took a moment to phrase her reply, “Song Lanyi wants reconciliation. I don’t.” “I never considered reconciling with her. Now that Chen Ting is getting involved, the price Song Lanyi pays may become even steeper.”

Back then, Song Lanyi had resented Chen Ting for turning her into an Omega, costing her the family inheritance, to the point of cutting all ties forever. Later, upon discovering her pregnancy, she feared Chen Ting might fight for custody of Song Shizhou, thus deliberately exchanging babies with the Lu family couple. To further dispel Chen Ting’s suspicions, she callously avoided seeing Song Shizhou for twelve years.

While Song Lanyi’s logic defied ordinary understanding, the sheer extremity of her obsessive methods compelled even Shizhou to silently admire. What remarkable determination, what ruthless tactics. Whether toward Chen Ting, toward Shizhou, or even toward herself, utterly merciless.

Song Shizhou lowered her gaze. As the product of Chen Ting and Song Lanyi, perhaps this suppressed, rarely revealed streak of cold obsession within her stemmed from their shared genes.

Bai Ruowei’s expression darkened slightly, “What outcome do you anticipate for this matter?” “I have no expectations.” “Shattering the porcelain was her own doing. Whether returning to the Song family or leaving it, whether in the past or now, I’ve given her chances every time.”

Yet she persistently refused to repent, harming herself with reckless abandon.

Bai Ruowei said quietly, “I understand your position.”

Another brief silence settled between them. In the stillness, Bai Ruowei could almost hear the sound of her own thoughts flowing quietly.

A faint scar marked her hand left during her struggle while having the mark cleansed. Song Shizhou caught her hand, unconsciously running her fingers lightly over the wound. Bai Ruowei healed quickly; it had already scabbed over.

The touch against the scab brought a faint itch. Bai Ruowei’s lashes fluttered slightly as she heard her own voice, tinged with bitterness, “I’ve committed many unforgivable mistakes too, Miss Song. So how do you plan to deal with me?”

She’d finally said it.

They couldn’t avoid this topic forever. Song Lanyi had hurt Song Shizhou, but hadn’t Bai Ruowei done the same? Everyone around Song Shizhou had once wronged her in some way.

She wasn’t so naive as to believe she could earn Song Shizhou’s forgiveness so easily.

A sliver of spring evening breeze slipped through the slightly ajar bay window, yet Bai Ruowei’s heart felt inexplicably chilled.

Song Shizhou looked into her eyes with utmost sincerity. “Bai Ruowei, the truth is, I’ve already forgiven you.”

The gravity in her voice made Bai Ruowei’s eyes tremble slightly.

After saying these words, it took less than ten seconds, but Bai Ruowei felt as if an eternity had passed.

What she had longed for so desperately had finally come, yet the overwhelming emotions made her tremble and turn her head away.

Song Shizhou had actually forgiven her.

She still forgave her for being so selfish, so cold, so slow in love, and even after rebirth, taking so long to truly understand her own heart.

She really had been a terrible lover.

Bai Ruowei threw herself into her arms.

That embrace was as warm as ever, warmer than the belated spring. Song Shizhou didn’t push her away but instead patted her back soothingly. The heart in Bai Ruowei’s chest, which had been rising and falling uncontrollably, finally began to beat steadily.

Truthfully, she had already prepared herself to never be forgiven by Song Shizhou.

A faint, obsessive smile suddenly appeared on Bai Ruowei’s face. If Song Shizhou had never forgiven her, she might have killed everyone who had ever hurt her.

And then killed herself.

But now that Song Shizhou had forgiven her, those obsessive thoughts in her mind would no longer surface.

Because she didn’t want to be so crazy, so obsessive. She wanted to stay by Song Shizhou’s side a little longer.

Just a little longer.

The scent of osmanthus in the room grew stronger. That delicate face softened into a gentle smile Bai Ruowei’s smile was so tender, so sweet. A flush crept up her wrist, and the close contact with Song Shizhou made her breathing uneven. The rich fragrance of osmanthus flowed softly into Song Shizhou’s heart.

Song Shizhou held her quietly for a moment, then lightly tapped her cheek.

“Calm now?”

Bai Ruowei took a deep breath.

“Calm now.”

Song Shizhou said plainly, “Then I’ll continue.”

The other woman nodded.

“Miss Bai, actually the news about me being in Flying Bird Town, I was the one who had Lu Qi tell you.”

Realizing she might have a lot to say, Song Shizhou pulled Bai Ruowei to sit on the sofa with her.

“I knew you were looking for me. I understand your methods and your personality. I knew that if you couldn’t find me under those circumstances, you’d never stop searching.”

She paused.

“I didn’t want to live in fear of being hunted by you, so I wanted to meet you quickly and settle everything.”

“But many things that happened afterward were beyond my expectations.”

Like Bai Ruowei’s persistence. Like Bai Ruowei’s pain. Like Bai Ruowei’s past.

She cared about her far more than she had ever imagined.

Song Shizhou’s voice grew heavier.

“There are many reasons complicated ones, why I forgave you?”

“Maybe it’s because, deep down, I’ve always held onto some feelings for you. Whether it was resentment or lingering affection.”

“Or maybe, like you said, I wanted to see you fall for me, so I couldn’t help but be drawn to you, entangled with you.”

Bai Ruowei interjected,

“I can. I want too.”

Song Shizhou shook her head. “I know.”

“But there’s one more thing I need to tell you.”

Her voice turned rough.

“After I was reborn, I originally had no intention of entering any new relationship with anyone. Because that past love, it drained me completely.”

“So, as for this relationship we’re about to embark on, I don’t know how it will turn out, nor how long it will last. Perhaps I might not be able to love you as meticulously as before.”

Loving someone with all your heart is exhausting. The more dazzling something is, the more fragile it becomes, the easier it dissipates. A love as fervent as in our past life might only be destined to happen once.

Song Shizhou said calmly, “All I can do now is follow my heart.”

“Bai Ruowei, can you accept this?”

Glass is fragile, and colorful clouds scatter easily. Perhaps all beautiful things in this world are this fragile, making them hard to hold onto.

The fragrance of osmanthus inexplicably grew stronger. Song Shizhou neatly folded the clothes Bai Ruowei had left behind, unconsciously arranging them into a perfectly squared block.

After a long silence, Bai Ruowei suddenly smiled.

Perhaps someone else might have accepted this somewhat regretful ending.

In truth, this outcome was already quite good. Song Shizhou had forgiven her, and they could love each other again. Even if this renewed love carried scars from the past, at least they were together again, weren’t they?

But Bai Ruowei had always been a stubborn person.

She had let go of their best possible love, so she would give Song Shizhou an even better one.

Besides, love was never a one-sided affair.

There was no reason for one person to always give their all while the other remained aloof.

Bai Ruowei’s voice was hoarse but firm.

“It’s alright, Shizhou. I’m already happy that you can forgive me.”

“If you’re uncertain now, I’ll share my love with you until yours returns to its former abundance.”

Song Shizhou paused.

“What if it never recovers?”

Bai Ruowei replied, “Then I’ll spend forever learning to love you the way you once loved me.”

In the quiet that followed, Song Shizhou felt her hand being held. Miss Bai’s palm was warm, trembling slightly as if unable to contain itself.

“Perhaps my love isn’t much, but every bit of it exists solely for you.”

For a moment, those pale green eyes seemed dazed.

“Song Shizhou.”

“Can we start our relationship anew?”

Bai Ruowei said her love was born for her.

Perhaps, after all, she had still taught Miss Bai what love meant.

Song Shizhou’s heart trembled in response.

She withdrew her hand from Bai Ruowei’s grasp, the faint scent of osmanthus lingering on her skin.

“Alright, I agree.”

“But I have one condition.”

Bai Ruowei’s heart tensed again.

“In this relationship we’re restarting, I want you to be loyal to me and to your own heart.”

She couldn’t be as willful as before, as domineering, as blind to her own feelings.

Song Shizhou’s chin lifted slightly, her breathing growing uneven.

“Miss Bai, can you do that?”

Bai Ruowei brought her fingers to her lips and kissed them solemnly.

“I can.”

Her words were so resolute, almost instinctive, as if she’d been waiting for this day for a very long time as if this answer had resided in her heart for ages, just waiting for Song Shizhou to ask.

“Shizhou, if you still have other concerns, why don’t we set a one-month trial period? During this month, you can test me however you like. If I pass your tests, we’ll officially be together.”

She was truly determined to make amends and change, going so far as to impose this trial period on herself.

Song Shizhou could sense her sincerity.

“Alright, then we’ll do as you say.”

Now that they had reconciled, she let go of her melancholic mood. Song Shizhou snatched Bai Ruowei’s coat and briskly shook it out.

Bai Ruowei paused for a moment.

“Since we’ve cleared things up, you should stay here tonight.”

The living room’s bay window had unknowingly been blown wide open by the wind, letting in even more of the warm breeze. One couldn’t help but marvel, what a warm, warm, gentle, gentle spring night it was.

Seeing Bai Ruowei remain silent, Song Shizhou couldn’t help but frown slightly.

“What’s wrong? Weren’t you the one who asked me to test you? Now you’re unwilling?”

As if lost in endless reverie, Miss Bai suddenly leaned in and kissed her on the lips.

“How could I be unwilling?”

“Please, Miss Song, test me as you wish.”

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