After My Death, I Became a Heartless Madman - Chapter 3

After stepping out of the city hall, the rain had grown heavier. Zhao was still waiting on the first floor and approached Song Shizhou as soon as she saw her.

“Miss Song, why are you out so early today? Aren’t you waiting for Miss Bai to finish work?”

Song Shizhou’s face was pale, but she still managed a gentle smile.

“She hasn’t finished yet. I won’t be waiting to go home with her today.”

Xiao Zhao nodded. “Understood. Let me drive you back, then.”

“No need.”

Song Shizhou stopped her.

One hand shielded her face, obscuring most of her expression. Though she tried desperately to hide her distress, her body trembled uncontrollably.

Xiao Zhao frowned. “Miss Song, are you alright?”

After half a minute of silence, Song Shizhou lowered her hand, her face now composed as if nothing had happened. “I’m fine.”

She offered a flawless smile.

“I’ve just been feeling unwell these past few days. You’ve been working for me for so long without a proper break… I’ll give you a few days off, with pay.”

She was always like this, no matter how deep the wound, no matter how crushing the blow, she never revealed a hint of vulnerability to others. All she needed was a moment alone to quietly tend to her injuries.

With time, repeated wounds had toughened her skin. Over the years, few things could hurt her anymore. Yet now, a dull ache throbbed in her chest. No matter how hard she fought for composure, the events of moments ago flooded her mind with unbearable clarity Miss Bai looking down at her with that familiar smile.

She had seen that smile countless times. Whenever she made some naive request, Bai Ruowei would neither refuse nor agree, simply watching her in silence.

Perhaps she had never wanted to marry her in the first place.

She should have known.

Xiao Zhao was the personal assistant the Song family had hired for her, primarily handling work matters. But Song Shizhou had always been on the fringes of the Song family’s affairs, with little actual work to manage, so Xiao Zhao often helped with personal matters too.

Seeing Song Shizhou’s insistence, Xiao Zhao didn’t press further.

“Then please take care of yourself, Miss Song. If you’re feeling unwell, it’s best to see a doctor.”

Song Shizhou nodded. “Alright. You go ahead. I’ll drive myself back.”

Splashes from passing cars soaked her trousers, the icy rainwater seeping in, spreading a chill that crept through her entire body…

She knew she shouldn’t wallow in this sorrow it was pointless. Past experience had taught her that, beyond deepening her pain, it served no purpose.

Tucked in her wallet was a photo of Bai Ruowei, one Song Shizhou had taken casually. Fingered too many times, the image had blurred. In it, Bai Ruowei gazed slightly upward, her pale green eyes like distant stars.

A lover’s eyes are the eighth ocean.

Song Shizhou lowered her head.

It was something she had once believed wholeheartedly.

Now, she wasn’t sure if she should keep believing it.

The drive home was slow with traffic. Song Shizhou didn’t go upstairs. Instead, she slumped over the steering wheel, exhaustion etched across her face.

The wedding planner called.

The voice on the other end was polite, asking if the scheduled wedding date was still acceptable. If so, they inquired when she might be available to sign the contract.

Song Shizhou’s throat seemed to tighten, unsure of what to say. She wanted to call it off, cancel everything outright since they had no immediate plans for a wedding anyway.

But the word “cancel” felt unbearably heavy, impossible to voice.

She wasn’t one to delude herself… or so she told herself. It was just… just that she felt a pang of regret, an unwillingness to let go.

“Hello? Miss Song, are you still there?”

Perhaps she could pay extra to reserve the venue a little longer.

She had meticulously planned every detail of their wedding every decoration, every arrangement. Bai Ruowei had never cared for grand affairs, so she’d left it all to Shizhou. It didn’t need to be extravagant. A smaller venue, fewer guests none of that mattered. She simply longed for a wedding, a dream she’d carried since childhood, as if the ceremony itself could give her a home, a real home, one that truly belonged to her.

A home she had never truly had.

The wedding planner sensed her hesitation and, knowing who she was married to, offered to make an exception and hold the venue. However, the scheduled emcee might not be available, and adjustments would still be needed…

Song Shizhou thanked her and promised to pay double the service fee.

The contract likely wouldn’t be signed, and the deposit wouldn’t be paid either. Shizhou exhaled in relief.

There were still so many places where money was needed.

A few days ago, Lu Qi had called, saying her family wouldn’t let her continue her education.

Lu Qi was Shizhou’s younger sister from the Lu family, the biological second daughter of the Lu couple. As a child, they had paid some attention to her, but after their son was born, they no longer spared her a second thought.

She had just turned eighteen, the age for university. Lu Qi had excellent grades, but her parents refused to let her keep studying, the Lu family had just moved to the Inner City, and expenses were piling up.

Shizhou bit her lip hard.

The Lu family’s move to the Inner City was probably her mother’s doing.

She knew full well how Shizhou had suffered under the Lu couple’s abuse how, at twelve, she was still shorter than seven-year-old Song Fengyu, her hands covered in frostbite. Yet she had brought the Lu parents into the Inner City…

Because she was thinking of Feng Yu.

Thinking of Feng Yu’s attachment to her birth parents, unwilling to punish the Lu family, wanting them close to Feng Yu so they could be cared for.

But had her mother ever considered how agonizing this was for her?

If Song’s Mother could move the Lu family into the Inner City now, would she expect Shizhou and Feng Yu to visit them together during holidays in the future?!

She hadn’t turned on the lights. The cold night swallowed the last traces of light. After what felt like an eternity, two sharp knocks sounded at the car window.

A girl in a red scarf stood outside.

Shizhou rolled down the window, surprised. “Xiao Qi? You’re here so early. Weren’t we supposed to meet at ten? How long have you been waiting? Why didn’t you call?”

“Not long,” Lu Qi replied.

“I didn’t want to distract you while you were driving.”

Shizhou stepped out of the car and patted her shoulder. “Let’s talk inside. It’s too cold out here.”

Lu Qi shifted slightly away. “No need.”

“Are you afraid of running into Miss Bai?”

Song Shizhou chuckled,

“Miss Bai hasn’t gotten off work yet. Even if we do meet, there’s nothing to fear. She just seems a bit temperamental, but she won’t do anything to you.”

“No need, sis.”

Lu Qi said, “Miss Bai looks down on me. I’d rather not go up.”

“You’re overthinking it.”

Song Shizhou sighed.

This child had always been suspicious and sensitive since childhood, and her parents’ favoritism had made her even more insecure.

Their conversation triggered the motion-sensor light, casting an orange glow that made Lu Qi’s face unusually clear.

She had strikingly beautiful eyes features that were bold and captivating, yet shadowed by a perpetual air of submissiveness and gloom. Hearing her refusal, Song Shizhou didn’t press further. Instead, she took out a bank card from her wallet.

“There’s 800,000 in this account. Didn’t you always want to study abroad? This should be enough for the agency fees.”

She placed the card in Lu Qi’s palm.

“For you, Xiao Qi. Happy birthday.”

Shizhou had missed Lu Qi’s eighteenth birthday and wanted to make up for it with an unforgettable gift.

Lu Qi stared at the bank card in her hand, her unfocused gaze gradually sharpening. She looked at the card, then at Song Shizhou, her expression a mix of confusion and shock.

“For me?”

Song Shizhou nodded firmly.

“For you.”

“My little sister deserves the best.”

Studying abroad had been Lu Qi’s lifelong dream to escape the home where she had to share a bed with her brother, where she could only eat fish heads while others got the meat, where fatty pork from the trotters was her portion, where winters were always cold, where she wore hand-me-down men’s coats until they disgusted her, where she had no room of her own, no worth, no love, undeserving of anything…

But now someone was telling her she was worthy, worthy of the very best.

Song Shizhou clasped Lu Qi’s hand, pressing the card into her palm with such force their fingers nearly intertwined.

The familiar warmth from Song Shizhou’s touch seeped into her skin, a heat Lu Qi hadn’t felt in years. She clung to it almost greedily, as if her entire being, along with her long-rotted heart, was about to be consumed by flames and turned to ashes.

The cold weather had flushed Lu Qi’s cheeks, and she buried most of her face deeper into her scarf. Lost in thought, she remained silent for a while.

“In that case, sis, I’ll take my leave.”

She patted Shizhou’s hand, as though uncertain when they’d meet again.

“Take care, Shizhou.”

…

After Lu Qi left, Shizhou stood quietly downstairs for a while. She had given Lu Qi all the money she’d saved over the years in the Song family, a lifeline for her. But where was her own lifeline? Was it Bai Ruowei?

Song Shizhou paused. She didn’t know.

As she reached the entrance of the building, Shizhou suddenly heard footsteps. Then, a figure emerged from the dark corridor.

Before she could see who it was, a faint, cool fragrance reached her, the familiar scent of osmanthus, evoking dim skies and hazy moonlight. Yet the moon was never hurried; it remained serene, pure, forever suspended in the sky. For some reason, Shizhou now sensed a trace of impatience in the air.

The person’s long black hair was half-drenched by the rain, and the eyes hidden behind gold-rimmed glasses were unnaturally red.

Song Shizhou’s heart skipped a beat.

Song Fengyu.

“Bad bamboo bears good shoots.” Though the Lu family parents were plain in appearance and mediocre in talent, both Lu Qi and Song Fengyu possessed first-class beauty. Fengyu was especially gifted, making Song Lanyi (Song’s Mother) determined to keep her at all costs, even if it meant abandoning her own biological daughter.

Fengyu had a cold personality. Due to congenital heart disease, she required long-term medication. The drugs she regularly took had mood-suppressing effects, making her live rigidly like a priest delivering sermons in a church.

But Fengyu was neither calm nor priestly now. As she shook the water droplets off her umbrella, Shizhou noticed she was dressed almost entirely in black, nearly blending into the night.

Shizhou could almost hear Fengyu’s rapid breathing.

“Shizhou, I heard everything you just said.”

Only Fengyu could make eavesdropping sound so justified when stated so openly.

Fengyu.

Song Shizhou softly repeated the name.

Xiaoxiang drizzle, encountering beautiful jade at night.

What a lovely name.

“Recently, your assistant mentioned your impending marriage with Miss Bai. If it’s so imminent, why cancel the wedding?”

Fengyu smiled hoarsely.

“It was Miss Bai’s idea, wasn’t it?”

“No,” Shizhou countered. “Canceling the wedding was my decision.”

“Your decision?”

Fengyu raised an eyebrow, scrutinizing her from head to toe.

The woman’s gaze was sharp and penetrating, like a blade slicing her apart, making Shizhou feel like a fish about to be gutted and skinned.

“You begged for this wedding. Why cancel it now? Shizhou, since when did you learn to lie?”

Seeing Shizhou about to speak, Fengyu sighed.

“Fine. Even if you insist on canceling, you know Bai Ruowei’s temper. Have you told her? She’ll be furious.”

Fengyu suddenly smiled, her beautiful face softening with a coaxing charm, like a priest tempting an innocent lamb.

“Or Shizhou, have you already prepared to leave her?”

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