A Change of Husband - Chapter 126

“I was too arrogant.”

“Lydia.”

She had known that loving someone might make her lose her powers.

Even so, she had been certain that would never happen. From the moment she gained her special powers, she foolishly believed that it was not the power that was special, but she herself.

“That’s why, ever since I fell in love with you, I haven’t been able to use my powers…”

A single tear fell down her cheek.

She had been sure she wouldn’t fall for him.

But it was impossible not to fall for this man—this man who always put her first, who lent his shoulder when she needed someone to lean on, who struggled more than she did when she was sick and tried to take care of everything for her.

It was only six months. Just six months.

But so much had changed in that short time.

Was it because everything happened so suddenly when she wasn’t ready? Or was it the sense of loss from being separated from a power that felt like a part of her body? Or maybe it was realizing that her belief in her own superiority had been an illusion all along.

“I feel so empty, so…”

“I’ll fill that emptiness for you.”

“How?”

Her voice was cold as she asked.

“How can you say you’ll fill it? Do you even know what I’ve lost?”

“I don’t know exactly, but I can imagine.”

“Then what exactly…”

“That helplessness.”

The sorrow in his quiet voice made it impossible for her to blame him any longer.

Lydia knew, too. If there was someone to blame, it wasn’t Edgar—it was her.

She should’ve expected this. She should’ve prepared. She should’ve been ready. But Lydia hadn’t done any of that.

Because she never thought she would fall in love with this man. Even if she did, she never imagined her magic would disappear so suddenly.

“Do you know what makes me the angriest right now?”

Her face was soaked with tears.

That wetness made Lydia feel even more miserable.

“Even in this moment, you’re still kind and warm, and I feel like a terrible person for resenting someone like you. That’s what makes me even angrier.”

“You just need some time.”

“Time?”

Would time really make things better?

Would she eventually be able to accept this loss?

It didn’t feel like it, but she didn’t want to keep speaking negatively either.

The more she vented her grief from losing her powers, the more pathetic and pitiful she felt, and the more depressed she became.

“Alright, then…”

Lydia lowered her eyes.

“Give me some time. Time to accept everything on my own.”

She saw the sadness on his face, but for once, she wanted to be selfish.

“Can you do that?”

“…Of course.”

And slyly enough, she already knew that he couldn’t refuse her request.

She thought she had lost everything—but it wasn’t a complete loss.

She could no longer use her powers like before, but she could still see some of the things she used to see with them.

Emotions, their colors and intensity, and the ties of fate between people.

She couldn’t see them in everyone, but sometimes, they appeared. But that uncertainty only made her suffer more. It felt like a cruel kind of hope.

“Did you eat?”

Since the moment she realized she had lost her powers, their journey had been on pause.

They had come up near the capital and decided to stay longer in a town called Riverton, which had a lot of contact with the outside world.

They could have contacted her family to ask for money, but instead, Edgar chose to stay with Lydia in the lord’s manor and teach the lord’s children in exchange.

And now, Edgar had just returned from giving sword lessons to the children.

“No.”

“Is there anything you want to eat?”

“Nothing.”

She had no appetite lately.

One could say she was overly lethargic, but staying quietly inside the house doing nothing was all Lydia wanted to do.

She didn’t know how to describe the feeling, but she couldn’t shake the thought that she had become a useless person in this world.

So she didn’t want to eat, didn’t want to sleep, and didn’t want to do anything at all.

“This bread is popular among nobles in the capital lately, so I brought some…”

Edgar carefully took out some bread wrapped in cloth.

The name on the cloth was from a bakery Lydia also knew well—it was a famous bakery in the capital.

“You went to the capital?”

“I had to help the lord with something, so I stopped by my family’s estate.”

“I see… Thank you, but I don’t want it.”

Lydia pushed the bread far away from where she was sitting and turned to sit on the bed.

It was a kind gesture, but she didn’t even have the energy to feel grateful. No, everything just felt bothersome and tiring.

“I’m worried about you, Lydia. You’re not eating at all lately…”

“Didn’t you say you’d give me time?”

“I can do that, but… do you know what you look like right now?”

Edgar came closer, his face filled with worry, and gently held her thin wrist.

“You look like someone waiting to die. Why…?”

“Because I feel like I’m already dead. You said you understood—the helplessness and loss of suddenly losing all my powers. You said you understood, even if you didn’t know everything.”

Again, the resentment rose inside her.

She hadn’t wanted to cry, but she felt so pathetic and ashamed that her tears now came from embarrassment about herself.

She clenched her teeth to stop the sobs, but it didn’t help much. In the end, Lydia broke down and cried.

“Do you know? I feel like I’ve become useless.”

“You’re not.”

“How am I not?”

She wasn’t being sarcastic or picking a fight—she truly wanted to know.

“Now that I’ve lost my powers, I’m really nothing. What can I even say I am? The pitiful younger sister of a duchess who died before becoming queen? Or the daughter of the Grandier family in name only?”

What started as a question quickly became a desperate cry.

“What am I now?”

If she asked, Edgar would propose to her and gladly take responsibility for her.

But Lydia didn’t want to be known by another title, like “Lady Villian.”

She wanted to shine on her own. She wanted to achieve something on her own. Maybe that’s why, even as she was losing her humanity, she still wanted to have both—her identity and her love. She had never considered giving one up.

“Then can your magic explain who you are?”

“What…?”

“Was Lydia the mage such a great and superior person? Was that enough to satisfy you?”

She was speechless. Lydia opened her mouth but said nothing, and Edgar spoke quietly.

“Stop hurting yourself with wrong thoughts.”

“I’m not wrong.”

“No. You already know the truth.”

With those final words, Edgar turned and left the room.

The sound of the door closing was unusually cold.

“Miss Lydia, may I ask you something?”

Officially, she was the daughter of the Duke of Grandier, but Lydia didn’t like to be called that.
Since neither Edgar nor Lydia revealed that she was the Duke of Grandier’s adopted daughter, the people in Riverton simply called her “Miss Lydia.”
However, because she rarely went out, it was unusual for someone to call her name directly like this.

Lydia had just stepped into the hallway for some fresh air when a maid, as if waiting for her, spoke up. She was a little startled but soon nodded.
“What is it?”

“Well, um… The head maid said that you seem to know a lot about herbs… I’ve been having really bad indigestion, so I was wondering if you could tell me which herbs are good for it, if you know any?”

The day after arriving in Riverton, she had once helped a boy who was rolling on the ground with stomach pain by using herbs. That must have started the rumor.
Since Aguanale Roja had taught her more than just magic, finding herbs for indigestion wasn’t hard for Lydia.
Besides, it had been such a long time since someone had come to her asking for “help,” that she was actually a little glad about it.

Rather than walking around the castle with gloomy thoughts, helping a maid suffering from indigestion felt like a more worthwhile thing to do.
“Sure. One herb that grows often under ginkgo trees is good for indigestion. Is there a place nearby with a lot of ginkgo trees?”
“Oh, yes! There are a lot behind the castle.”
“Then that’s perfect. Let’s go.”

Since it was such a simple task, Lydia was able to help the maid without any trouble.
But perhaps that was the beginning. From that day on, whenever Lydia was seen by the servants in the castle, she was showered with questions and requests.

“Miss Lydia, my son has a terrible cold…”
“Sorry, but do you know what’s good for headaches?”
“I fell off a horse and my muscles have been aching ever since. Please help me. I beg you.”

At first, Lydia found it a little annoying.
But as time went on and as she got more used to finding herbs for them, she started to feel that it wasn’t so bad after all.

‘I’ve never thought of helping others like this before.’

As she was lost in thought, Lydia suddenly looked up—and once again, she saw the man who always stayed by her side.
“Oh… when did you…?”

She wanted to ask when he arrived, and why he didn’t say anything when he came. But it was she who had been pushing Edgar away all this time.
Realizing this, Lydia stayed silent.

“I just got here,” he answered, quickly understanding what she wanted to ask.
“Have you eaten?”
“Not yet.”
“Then here.”

Edgar took out another cloth bundle of bread.
Now, just by seeing what he was holding, she could tell what he had brought.
Even though she always turned him down, Edgar kept bringing her things—sometimes flowers, sometimes bread, and sometimes even dresses—just to cheer her up.

Although Lydia would often leave his gifts untouched, Edgar never showed any sign of displeasure and would quietly tidy them up himself.

Suddenly, she felt guilty.
Today might be a good time to tell him how she had been feeling and what she wanted to do going forward…

“I…”
“Even if you don’t feel like eating, please try to eat a little. I’m worried you might collapse. Very much.”

But just as she was about to speak, Edgar hurriedly left the room—as if he wanted to stop her from rejecting him again.
And so, Lydia was left alone in the room.

“…What was that?”

He was the one she loved. But she had pushed him away.
Now, Edgar was being careful around her, avoiding her.

‘I’m the one who made it this way, so why…’

Why did she feel so miserable now?
Only now did she realize that something was truly going wrong.

‘Come to think of it…’

The first time they held hands after she found out how he felt, her heart had been in turmoil.
When she returned after gathering herbs without a word, and he had yelled in anger and suddenly pulled her into a hug, her whole body had heated up.

When they counted stars and looked into each other’s eyes, she realized his eyes were more beautiful than the night sky.
And when they, as if drawn by a spell, shared their breath, her heart had raced madly.

That was love.
It had been love.

“…What have I done?”

She didn’t know.
She didn’t know how much her lost power was worth.
Back then, she had used it for things related to Asilie, but afterward, there hadn’t been any reason to use it.
So, how valuable it was would depend on how she used it in the future.

In short, there was no way to know its true worth now.

But what was certain was that Edgar—who was the first person she trusted and opened her heart to—was worth tens or hundreds of times more than the power she had lost.

She knew that for sure, and yet, she had wasted time and done foolish things.

“Even now…”

Lydia jumped up from her seat.
Before that man, who was far too precious to stay by her side, truly left her—she had to apologize from the heart and set things right.

Tap—
Lydia flung the door open and ran out, quickly bumping into a maid in the hallway.
She remembered her face—this was the maid she had helped a few days ago.

“Oh, Miss Lydia.”
“Do you know where Sir Villian is?”
“Uh… Sir Villian is…”

The maid seemed to think for a moment, then clapped her hands.
“I’m sure he’s at the stables!”

The stables?
It was such an unexpected place that Lydia was momentarily confused, but she hurried past the maid.
Or rather, she tried to. But then she noticed that the maid was holding a cloth bundle of bread—just like the one Edgar had given her earlier.

‘Why does that maid have…?’

Her heart was racing, but Lydia headed quickly toward the stables. Still, the question lingered in her mind.

The famous bakery in the capital was popular among nobles and very expensive, so it wasn’t something a maid could easily afford.
There was no doubt that it came from Edgar. But why would he give bread to a maid? She had no idea.

And that wasn’t the only strange thing.
As she passed through the castle, she saw several other servants—both male and female—carrying the same kind of bread bundles.

If everyone had been carrying them, it might not have seemed strange. But since only a few were, it felt even more suspicious.

Finally, when Lydia reached the stables, she saw Edgar handing a bundle of bread to a coachman.

‘That man…’

Lydia recognized him instantly.
Of course she did—he was the same coachman who had asked her just yesterday to teach him which herbs were good for muscle pain.

Now that she thought about it, all the servants she’d seen with bread earlier had spoken with her at least once.
And all of them had asked her for help.

‘No way…?’

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