A Change of Husband - Chapter 127

 

Something came to her mind.

 

The day she had cried and shouted at Edgar to let out her frustration.

 

“I feel like I’ve become useless now.”

 

“Now that I’ve lost my power, I’ve really become a nobody. How would you describe me? The pitiful younger sister of a duchess who died without even becoming a queen? Or the noble lady of House Grandier in name only?”

 

“What am I now?”

 

Maybe…

 

It was just a suspicion, but she was more than half sure.

 

Even if she had lost her power, Edgar wanted to show her that it didn’t mean she was useless. That’s why he had planned all of this.

 

“Idiot…”

 

Tears welled up in her eyes.

 

Edgar was the most important person to her, someone she could never replace. And yet, she had been obsessed with the power she no longer needed and had neglected him. She felt foolish and pathetic.

 

“No, I was the idiot. I was…”

 

After her father died, Lydia was immediately taken away from her only family, Ashley, by House Grandier. She had to stay in Pembis all alone.

 

Most people who heard that a pretty little girl was left alone probably had bad intentions.

 

Lydia had to go through all kinds of awful things, and there were even moments when her life was in danger.

 

But she had to endure it. And not even for herself. Lydia held on with the thought of how devastated Ashley would be if she heard something bad had happened while searching hard to find her.

 

Then by chance—really, by pure chance—she met Agua Nale Roja and, while offering her a small kindness, ended up learning magic.

 

Even before she became an adult, magic had given Lydia the power to stand up to others, the power to not be taken advantage of.

 

So maybe she had fallen into despair because she felt like she couldn’t do anything without that power.

 

“Even so, nothing is more precious than him…”

 

But still, she had been foolish.

 

Lydia had trapped herself inside the walls she had built.

 

‘I clung to magic alone. Because I thought it was the only thing that could prove who I am.’

 

Of course, the power of magic itself had fascinated her.

 

She had lived more than two-thirds of her life in hardship and poverty. When she discovered her talent for magic, she felt like all those hardships were finally being rewarded.

 

She even thought that maybe all her suffering had been just a stepping stone to gain this power.

 

She had mocked herself for feeling a sense of superiority, saying it was just a way to put down her weak self—but in truth, it was actually real.

 

She felt ashamed and embarrassed by her own arrogance, but only for a moment. Then, she saw Edgar still talking to the coachman about something.

 

‘I almost wasted so much time eating away at myself like that…’

 

The help she had given by chance had reminded her that she could do other things, that she had other kinds of value.

 

And it wasn’t a coincidence—it was Edgar’s way of helping her heal.

 

“Edgar.”

 

Lydia tried hard to hold back her tears as she barely managed to call his name.

 

Edgar turned around with a surprised look, clearly not expecting her voice.

 

He looked at her, then quickly turned his head to look at the bundle of bread in the coachman’s hands. Then he looked back at Lydia.

 

“Lydia, why are you here?”

 

He tried to act calm, but his face clearly showed his surprise.

 

Seeing him so easy to read gave her a small sense of relief—she could still understand how he felt.

 

But if she had been just a little later…

 

“…About that bread bundle.”

 

“This is…”

 

The coachman, flustered by their interaction, hurriedly stepped aside.

 

As the coachman practically ran into the stable, Lydia stepped closer to Edgar.

 

Before he tried to make up a lie for her sake, she wanted to speak first.

 

“I’m sorry.”

 

“What?”

 

A surprised face.

 

His eyes, which she had always thought looked beautiful like rubies, now showed confusion.

 

The guilt hit her—just how much she had hurt him even in these small moments.

 

“I said I’m sorry. I… I was really foolish.”

 

Edgar stared at her blankly, as if doubting what he had just heard.

 

“I’m sorry I’m late. It took me a long time, didn’t it? But now I know. I know you were right, and I was wrong.”

 

What had she realized? What kind of understanding had she reached? What would she do from now on?

 

She had to tell him calmly, step by step—something good, something hopeful.

 

But even in this awkward situation, seeing Edgar trying to listen to her quietly made her suddenly burst into tears.

 

“I shouldn’t have taken it out on you like that. You were the one who believed in me, even when I felt small and pathetic… sob… I’m sorry. For hurting you, for pushing you away… hic I’m sorry for all of it.”

 

She wanted to speak gently, but the tears that rose up to her throat made it hard.

 

Then she realized again.

 

The fact that she could feel so much now, that she could cry like this—she hadn’t even shed a single tear when her sister died—was all because of this man.

 

How could she have acted so spoiled? How could she have been so blind to what really mattered most?

 

“It’s okay.”

 

“It’s not okay. I made such a big mistake. I did so many terrible things to you… sob Edgar, you know, I…”

 

“Do you need more time?”

 

What mattered most to Edgar was whether he still had to leave her alone.

 

Watching the person he loved slowly wither away after losing the power she had depended on was painful for him too.

 

“I need time. hic”

 

“Haah…”

 

Edgar let out a deep sigh.

 

“Still?”

 

“Our time. Now… we need to focus on our time together.”

 

Ah. Her words made Edgar’s heart drop and then rise again—he felt like he could fly. For the first time in a month, a wide smile appeared on his lips.

 

He had been so anxious he couldn’t even smile properly. But just the fact that Lydia hadn’t run away and was still by his side had been enough for him to hold on, convincing himself that things were okay.

 

Sometimes he wanted to rush her, to raise his voice—but he understood her too well to do that.

 

She had lost her only sister, Ashley, and then even the magic she used to protect herself.

 

Of course she would feel scared and unsure. That’s why Edgar had feared every day that she might leave him, that she might remember him only as someone to blame.

 

So this moment was all the more precious to him.

 

“Lydia.”

 

Edgar pulled her tightly into his arms.

 

She had become so thin. It made him sad. But from now on, he would feed her well and help her gain weight again.

 

Just having the chance to do that made his heart full.

 

“Thank you. Really.”

 

“Then…”

 

Lydia wrapped her arms around his neck and looked into his eyes.

 

“Kiss me. I want to feel it.”

 

It was a request he could only welcome.

 

He stepped forward, ready to give in, no—he wanted it even more.

 

But then Lydia suddenly shook her head firmly.

 

“No.”

 

“Then…”

 

“You always came to me. So this time, I’ll go to you. That’s how I want it.”

 

With those words, she pressed her warm, soft lips to his. Edgar could only wrap his arms tighter around her slender waist.

 

 

It was a love full of richness.

 

He loved her, and she loved him. They walked this path hand in hand, spending their whole lives confirming their unchanging love.

 

Every day was filled with happiness. But still…

 

“You had too much to lose. Isn’t that right?”

 

Even though she had lost her magic, there were still moments when she could see something in people.

 

It would confuse Lydia’s mind, stir her heart, and ruin her day. Because of that, she couldn’t stay long in crowded places.

 

Naturally, she began to live a quiet life, and since Edgar couldn’t send her alone to the countryside, he also couldn’t help Esperad much and ended up spending most of his days by Lydia’s side.

 

“You were someone who could have achieved so much more, someone who could have become much greater.”

 

“I didn’t want that.”

 

“It’s not that you didn’t want it. It’s that you had to give it up because of me.”

 

Lydia whispered as she brushed back his hair as he lay in bed.

 

He had beautiful silver hair since he was young, but now, after so many years, it had become rough and lost its shine.

 

Even those traces of time looked so beautiful in Lydia’s eyes.

 

“I think we were lovers, but also ill-fated. To me, you were a blessing, but to you, I think I was a misfortune.”

 

“Don’t say that.”

 

“I have to. I can’t lie to you until the end.”

 

“Lydia.”

 

Edgar looked at her with sorrow.

 

A jewel he had stubbornly held onto because of his greed. He knew she lived with guilt her whole life, but because being by her side made him happy, Edgar had pretended not to notice the feelings deep in her heart.

 

“You were the most precious to me. The one thing I never wanted to lose in my life was you.”

 

“Even though I ruined everything…?”

 

“You didn’t ruin it. You made my life shine. Lydia, if fate really exists, then I would wish to meet you again in the next life too. That’s how much I loved you. Even now, even in this moment.”

 

He didn’t know where the strength was coming from now, standing at the edge of death.

 

But because he had allowed her guilt to remain, he wanted to say this clearly, at least in the end.

 

That’s why, even though his throat tightened and he could barely breathe, he forced out each word with great effort.

 

“You said you’d wish for us to never meet again, no matter when or where. But… even if I don’t have power like you, I’ll also wish—until the moment I die—that the person next to me again will be you.”

 

“Edgar…”

 

“No, even as I die, I’ll keep wishing.”

 

Edgar took a shallow breath and thought of Esperad.

 

He used to think Esperad was foolish for waiting to die just to meet his late wife, but now he finally understood why they had stayed friends for so long. It was because of a foolish love for one woman.

 

‘Come to think of it, I never even got to say goodbye.’

 

That part made him feel regretful, but having Lydia by his side in this final moment was enough to make the end of his life feel satisfying.

 

Edgar smiled weakly and, just as he had in his youth, teased her.

 

“Let’s see who wins.”

 

“Please don’t…”

 

“You know better than anyone that I always follow through once I decide something, right?”

 

Even the face that was crying and dropping tears on his own looked so beautiful to him.

 

Even in old age, she was this beautiful. That’s why it hurt and scared him to be the one to leave first. He knew it was selfish.

 

“Lydia.”

 

“Huuh…”

 

“Lydia, my love.”

 

“Yes… speak.”

 

“Please don’t be too sad. Even while walking the path of death, I’ll keep wishing and praying that we’ll meet again. So please, don’t be sad. I beg you.”

 

Though it was hard to even speak now that he was out of breath, Edgar finally finished his last words.

 

And with that, his vision started to blur.

 

It was truly time to leave her.

 

“Will you hold my hand?”

 

Even before he finished asking, Lydia grabbed his hand tightly.

 

With that warmth, Edgar felt truly at peace—and finally, finally closed his eyes.

 

 

“Do you really want to meet her again? Even if… even if it means repeating the same tiring life?”

 

“A tiring life, huh…”

 

The bitter smile on his face reminded her of how he looked long ago.

 

He was a king praised for his successful rule, now facing the end of his life.

 

“Even if I lose everything, it’s okay as long as I can meet her again.”

 

Like Esperad, her husband must have felt the same.

 

Though the two men were so different, their final moments were so alike it made her heart ache.

 

“Please, don’t regret it. And hold on, endure, and stay strong.”

 

“What do you mean…?”

 

Ever since she lost Edgar, her magical power had slowly returned.

 

Her emotions and humanity that had been shaken by Edgar were now calm. Her world had become peaceful, like the steady rhythm of nature.

 

She maintained the calmness of a still lake, and even though she hadn’t wanted it, her magic returned so naturally. As if it had always been there.

 

That made her regret the past that had hurt him even more, even though it had happened so long ago.

 

“It’ll be a familiar world, but also a strange one. And the king there may have a different past than the one you know. Even so, if you’re okay with that…”

 

Still, she was grateful.

 

Because her power had returned, she could do one last meaningful thing.

 

“If you can send me to her, please do.”

 

“I thought you’d say that.”

 

Lydia smiled faintly.

 

She hadn’t used her magic in a long time, but even so, using it again felt as easy and natural as water flowing.

 

“Go safely. I wish you good luck.”

 

As she placed her hand on Esperad’s forehead, his breath stopped—and at the same time, all strength left Lydia’s body.

 

Thud—

 

Lydia collapsed to her knees in front of Edgar’s bed.

 

It was now her time to end her life.

 

It was time to cut the string of fate that bound them, so Edgar could meet someone else—someone who wouldn’t live a complicated life like hers.

 

But then—

 

“Ah…”

 

Selfishly, she didn’t want to use her last remaining power to cut that string.

 

She just wanted to meet him one more time.

 

“You made me like this…”

 

Tears fell again.

 

And the more emotions she let out, the more strength left her body.

 

“I thought I was just me, but I didn’t realize how deeply I had been soaked… by you.”

 

She hadn’t known she’d be drenched in this inefficient feeling called love—so foolishly.

 

“I miss you. I do…”

 

Now, even the string of fate that had become so clear when her magic returned started to fade again because of that emotion.

 

Still, she felt happy. Because that string—the one they had wrapped around each other while living their lives—would surely connect them again.

 

“So let’s meet again next time.”

 

As she felt all her strength leave her, as the wall protecting her life crumbled, Lydia finally closed her eyes.

 

On her lips was the faint smile she hadn’t shown since sending him away.

 

The End.