You Are the Star I Cannot Touch - Chapter 38

 Chapter 38: Yan’er, Wait A Little Longer.

“Baby, what are you thinking about?” Mu Yan looked at her. “I’ve called you several times.”

Gong Yutong snapped back to attention. “Nothing.” She was just thinking about things from middle school.

“Come and sit. You don’t want to play with them, but aren’t you hungry? I grilled a few things you love for you,” Mu Yan pulled her over.

Gong Yutong looked at their two hands. In middle school, that night, she cautiously took hold of her hand. She didn’t refuse, and after that, she never let go of her hand.

“Here, string beans,” Mu Yan handed them to her. “And a drink, but it’s only bottled water.”

“It’s fine.” She looked at the others in the distance. Some things and memories should not be touched.

Mu Yan knew she didn’t like these lively occasions, so she ate until she was full and went back to sleep. Mu Yan chatted with Chi Yue for a while. At eleven o’clock at night, everyone went back to rest, as there were still activities and places to visit tomorrow.

Gong Yutong was always alert when sleeping outdoors. She opened her eyes and unzipped the tent. “What are you doing? Not sleeping?”

“There are mosquitoes,” Mu Yan looked around. “You sleep, I’ll swat the mosquitoes for you. They’re huge, and the bites are so itchy.”

Gong Yutong looked at her. How much does a person have to love someone to be so meticulous, always thinking of the other person first? She reached out and pulled her inside. “Sleep. There aren’t any in here.”

“Really?” She looked around. “It seems there truly aren’t. Then I can relax. You go to bed early.”

“Don’t move.” She took out the mosquito repellent she’d brought and dabbed it onto her fingertip, gently applying it to Mu Yan’s arm. “This kind of repellent is very good for stopping the itch. Doesn’t itch anymore, right?”

“Mhm.” Mu Yan looked at her long eyelashes. She was very serious when doing things. Mu Yan leaned in and kissed her.

Gong Yutong stopped moving, then gently pushed her. “It’s one o’clock. Go to sleep early.”

“Mhm.” Mu Yan decided not to leave after all, burrowing into Gong Yutong’s quilt, pressing close to her, and wrapping her arms around her to sleep.

“Yutong, you do have feelings for me, right?” She didn’t wait for her answer. “Then why won’t you admit it or be with me?”

She also knew she wouldn’t answer. “Maybe I’m just deceiving myself.”

When could she finally be with her? It had been ten years. She was afraid she wouldn’t be able to wait to be with her. Her family was already looking for her; if they found her, the outcome would be hard to predict. Thinking of this, she held her even tighter, afraid she would run away.

The next day, Gong Yutong woke up, and Mu Yan was staring at her, giggling.

“You… what are you doing?”

“I just want to look at you more.” Mu Yan looked at her and then kissed her. A morning kiss would make her happy all day.

Gong Yutong didn’t even have time to raise her hand, which was again held by Mu Yan.

Satisfied with the kiss, she finally let go, looked at her swollen red lips, and kissed her again. “Hurry up and get up.” She got up and left.

Gong Yutong sat up. She naturally knew that Mu Yan’s family was looking for her. She knew everything about Mu Yan’s affairs. She truly hoped that day would come quickly.

Yan’er, wait a little longer.

I will make sure your remaining life is happy.

They went into the mountains to hike. Gong Yutong naturally wouldn’t go, so she stayed to process work on her laptop. Mu Yan also didn’t go; after all, if Gong Yutong wasn’t going, there was no point in her going either.

Chi Yue didn’t want to go either, but Tang Xiaowan forcefully dragged her away. Gu Xizhi and Qu Shijin naturally wouldn’t go; it was tiring.

“Yutong, let’s go explore nearby in a bit,” Gu Xizhi suggested. “It’s not too hot. They probably won’t be back from the hike until the afternoon. Let’s check out the area nearby and see if there’s anything fun we can all do tonight.”

“Mhm, wait for me to finish processing these files.”

“Okay.”

“There’s an amusement park nearby,” Mu Yan said, holding her phone. “It’s not far, about a half-hour walk.”

“Really?” Qu Shijin became interested. “How about we go check it out?”

“Good,” Mu Yan continued to look at her phone, checking the attractions. “We can go play for a bit. If it’s good, we can ask them to come back early.”

“You’ve got a lot of guts: Ferris wheel, roller coaster, bumper cars, haunted house, pendulum ride, Ferris wheel.”

“Ferris wheel,” Qu Shijin started. “Legend says every cabin on the Ferris wheel is filled with happiness. When you look up at the Ferris wheel, you’re looking up at happiness. As high as happiness is, so is the Ferris wheel. When you yearn for happiness but it’s slow to arrive, try riding the Ferris wheel and watching it slowly climb to the very top. Then make a wish, and it can come true. Or, if two people who love each other kiss at the very top of the Ferris wheel, they will be happy forever.” She added, “Many couples in college would go, especially during graduation season, which is also breakup season.”

Mu Yan glanced at the busy Gong Yutong. The Ferris wheel—could it really make a wish come true? She had previously wished upon shooting stars and then at temples, but after ten years, none of them came true. She wondered if this time would be different.

“You certainly know a lot,” Gu Xizhi thought that kissing on the Ferris wheel must be quite romantic. If only she could scatter some flower petals, wouldn’t that be even better? But she was just thinking aloud; it wasn’t her business, and doing that would just create litter. However, looking at Gong Yutong, she was rich. Should she be shameless again and ask her to build an amusement park or buy one, or perhaps rent it out for a day or two?

“Of course. At my age, I love this kind of romantic, beautiful, and undying love in novels or stories. Recently, I’ve found a lot of anime too.” She only had the mental space to look for TV dramas and anime after her younger sister was saved.

“What anime?” Mu Yan asked curiously.

“Danmei [Boys’ Love]. Heaven Official’s Blessing. The novel is great too. ‘A person’s heart changes easily, becoming unrecognizable in three to five years. But some people’s hearts are like still water; they walk ten thousand miles, and their original intention remains unchanged.’”

“That line is from Sha Po Lang. And Global Examination. My favorite is: ‘Two thousand three hundred and twelve days. They met in the cold wind and snow, thinking it was their first meeting, but it was a reunion.’” Mu Yan said.

“‘I didn’t come to save you; I came to love you. Everything here has a beginning and an end, yet it can accommodate all unexpected encounters and long-awaited reunions. The world is vast and brilliant. Welcome home.’ So touching. It feels like such a beautiful love.” Qu Shijin added, “There’s a girls’ love one too.”

“‘At eighteen, I thought love was the courage to stand against the whole world for you. At twenty-five, I found love is the confidence to embrace the whole world for you. If you say youthful love is as unpredictable as the wind, then I wish to embrace you for the rest of my life, until death.’”

All things in the world are suffering; your partiality is salvation.

Gong Yutong. Whenever she spoke these three words, they felt so warm.

She was her salvation, and also her obsession. The obsession was so deep it drove her mad.

The love was too deep, penetrating the bone marrow, eventually turning into a demon, leading to eternal damnation.

Gu Xizhi suddenly felt that the two of them could really connect. Was she getting old? But no, she wasn’t old yet.

“There are trees on the mountain, and branches on the trees; my heart loves you, but you do not know,” Mu Yan suddenly said, gazing mournfully at Gong Yutong. No, that line wasn’t quite right; she knew Mu Yan liked her. “Yutong, I’ve walked ninety-nine steps. The last step can only be walked by you. Just walk one step, please.”

No one could truly understand what it felt like to like someone for ten years, how to endure the days and nights.

“I feel like you have feelings for me, yet you reject me every time. I feel like you don’t have feelings for me, yet you protect me. Everyone says the human heart is incomprehensible, but I think yours is the hardest to understand.”

“Gong Yutong, I’ve said so much, why don’t you even say a word?” Mu Yan was going crazy. It was like talking to a brick wall.