We Hate Each Other, But It Started With a One-Night Stand - Chapter 4

People who create something from nothing should immerse themselves in many works of creation.

Creation is akin to learning how to walk by following in the footsteps of outstanding works throughout history. Bernard of Chartres is said to have believed that we can see far because we stand on the shoulders of giants—history, or the ancients. In other words, most things created in the modern era stand atop the accumulated history that came before.

Even without reaching such lofty ideals, one cannot write something good without knowing what “good” is.

That was Hatano’s personal belief, and for that reason, Hatano loved many creative works.

Not limited to novels, but also movies, music, theater, and anime. Among these diverse interests, movies were a particular favorite.

On the same day she announced her withdrawal from the literary club, Hatano left the movie theater after a late-night screening, stretching her body. It was already pitch dark outside, and her sigh on this mid-autumn night, with stars twinkling above, turned into a white mist.

Until recently, Hatano had primarily written mystery novels, but feeling she had hit a wall, she decided to change direction. She chose themes like student youth and success stories for her new focus, and watching movies was part of her research for that. Unexpectedly, she had enjoyed it.

Walking down the night street while turning over ideas in her head, Hatano was stopped by a traffic light.

Absentmindedly pulling her smartphone from her pocket, she suddenly noticed a message from an unfamiliar contact.

—The sender was Shinomiya.

“Sorry about today.”

The message was sent three hours ago, likely shortly after Hatano had returned home.

Even though it was brief, Hatano was surprised and bewildered by this apology from her. She let out a deep sigh, then gave a wry smile. It wasn’t as if Shinomiya had caused her any major trouble, and Shinomiya probably understood that too. Hatano was impressed by her earnestness.

Unsure how to reply, she glanced at the pedestrian signal turning green and hurriedly sent a pre-made illustrated message stamp. Then, she tossed her phone back into her pocket and started walking toward the station.

“…Hmm.”

But suddenly, she stopped after crossing the crosswalk.

Then, after turning right at the intersection, she caught a glimpse of a cluster of neon lights.

The bar the literary club usually used for gatherings wasn’t far from here. She wasn’t particularly in the mood to drink, but that cheeky junior’s message had made her think about Shinomiya a little. She didn’t know what had happened after that day, but Shinomiya was probably out drinking with some guy again tonight.

That alone would be fine, but what if she got as drunk as she had the other day?

It didn’t matter to Hatano what kind of guy Shinomiya spent the night with. That was the life Shinomiya wanted. But just a little—now that she knew a bit about her, Hatano was concerned about that somewhat self-destructive way of living. It wasn’t that Shinomiya liked the opposite sex; she just craved recognition from someone, anyone, regardless of gender or whether it was positive or negative. That was her way of life.

“—Jealousy is envy. It’s like you’re acknowledging me.”

The words Shinomiya had slurred while drunk the other day flashed through Hatano’s mind.

Hatano thought for a moment, then scratched the back of her head.

“…I don’t really owe her anything, though.”

She was beginning to understand that Shinomiya wasn’t a bad person.

She wouldn’t go out of her way to come all the way here from home, but if she was already nearby, maybe she could just check on her. She disliked Shinomiya’s lifestyle and mindset, but Shinomiya wasn’t a bad person, and above all, they had that physical encounter, even if it was an accident.

“Hey, could you stop hitting on guys from other clubs!?”

Near the station, on the street close to an izakaya, an angry shout rang out.

A girl with a seemingly pure appearance—long black hair, glasses, and a modest outfit—was confronting a stunningly beautiful chestnut-haired woman with a slight drunken flush—Shinomiya. With a ferocity that seemed ready to grab her by the collar, she spat out, “People are talking! They’re saying a shameless slut is doing whatever she wants!” as she yelled at Shinomiya. Passersby on the street watched the commotion from a distance.

Shinomiya glanced at the girl venting her emotional anger with cool eyes, then shifted her gaze to the confused-looking men nearby. She didn’t recall doing anything unreasonable.

She had merely pretended to run into an acquaintance from this tennis club and mentioned she wanted to drink with someone.

The acquaintance in question was watching the situation with a terrified expression, but Shinomiya didn’t expect her to resolve it. She was just grateful she had set this up.

Persuading people with logic multiple times a day was tiresome, so Shinomiya employed manpower.

She bit her lip, put on a pained expression, and slightly lowered her face. Then, hugging herself, she apologized in a fading, strained voice, “I’m sorry, I was just lonely being alone.” —Instantly, some of the men stirred.

“Hey, you don’t have to say it like that!”

“Why do you say that just for drinking together? It’s fine, isn’t it?”

“Besides, no matter how angry you are, hurling insults at someone you just met is uncalled for.”

The bespectacled girl, scolded by several guys, showed defiance with a “Hah?” but her voice trembled. Shinomiya stole a quick glance at her, covering her mouth as if stifling a sob, but couldn’t suppress the slight relaxation of her cheeks beneath.

It wasn’t like she was targeting married men or coveting someone else’s partner. She just said she was lonely and wanted to drink with someone, and drunk, asked someone to walk her home. What happened after that depended on how rational that person was.

It made her happy. There were people who wanted to drink with her, people jealous that she could attract men, and people who would protect her. The people here right now recognized Shinomiya as a person and acknowledged her value, whether positively or negatively. It made her so happy she even felt a tingling sensation in her womb.

Even if she didn’t thank them for anything else, she had to thank her parents for giving her this well-proportioned face. Shinomiya desperately stifled an unexpected yawn, instead using the slight tears that welled up to smear at the corner of her eye, then looked up at a man who seemed strong-willed.

Recognizing this, the man intensified his tone and began denouncing the bespectacled girl.

With that, the tables had turned, and if no one interfered, things might even progress to someone walking her home. However, the lack of a jealous person as an accent was slightly disappointing, and she guessed the women would likely leave at this rate. Moreover, the criticism had escalated beyond mere “talking back” to personal attacks, and it seemed the situation needed to be reined in.

“P-please, that’s enough!”

Shinomiya pleaded in a sweet voice, stopping the men’s denunciations.

Then, approaching the bespectacled girl, who was on the verge of tears, she showed her own teary eyes in front of the wary girl. She gently took the girl’s hand and squeezed it softly.

She had experience with physical intimacy with women too. She had no memory of Hatano the other day, but there had been other times. She had some experience in that area and understood how to proceed in such cases. Right now, the only way for the girl before her to save face publicly was to acknowledge and accept the apologetic Shinomiya. Thinking it might be interesting to steer things in that direction, Shinomiya lined up insincere words.

“I’m sorry… I actually wanted to get closer to you, senpai.”

The moment she said it, a slight tremor traveled through their joined hands. If the girl had shown only disgust here, Shinomiya would have changed tactics, but it seemed her heart was unexpectedly vulnerable. Seizing the moment, Shinomiya intertwined their fingers and looked up at her.

“I’ve thought for a while now that you, playing tennis, were so cool! But I’m not good at sports, so this was the only chance I had to get close to you.”

She could see the girl’s eyes waver behind her glasses. She stroked the girl’s fingertip with her intertwined fingers.

After glancing at the girl’s slightly flushed cheeks, Shinomiya traced circles on the girl’s fingertip with her own, letting out a sweet, breathy sigh. Then, still holding hands with fingers intertwined, she pleaded with damp eyes and voice.

“Is it not okay?”

Watching the girl swallow hard, Shinomiya quietly took half a step closer, to a distance where their breaths might mingle.

Shinomiya thought she would probably never fall in love with anyone. And she had consistently turned down anyone who wished for such a relationship to develop. But she wasn’t devoid of sexual desire. Spending tonight with this girl might not be bad. As a way to make up for being mean earlier, she invited her.

Then, she’d make the guys from before jealous next.

Once she started thinking about it, the excitement wouldn’t stop. Who, how—such things didn’t matter to Shinomiya. The only thing that mattered was that they were looking at her. Acknowledging her. That was the only value others held for Shinomiya.

Under Shinomiya’s gaze, the girl, with turmoil and excitement visible in her eyes, began to open her mouth.

That was when it happened.

“—Shinomiya.”

A woman’s voice she hadn’t heard enough to be familiar with, but had heard often recently. At that voice, which seemed to rise above the noise, Shinomiya instinctively turned. There, amidst the passing crowd, stood Hatano with a slightly stern expression.

“…Hatano-senpai.”

Shinomiya was surprised that her own voice came out curter and colder than she intended.

“So, what do you want?”

Together, they walked aimlessly down the street. Turning their backs on the neon-lit district, they headed toward a lonely path lit only by streetlights.

In the end, after that, Shinomiya gave up on the drinking party with the tennis club members. Of course, Shinomiya could have ignored Hatano, but she seemed to imply her mood had been ruined.

When Hatano recognized her, Shinomiya was arguing with a girl from the club. Then, in the next moment, she was trying to pick up that same girl. For Shinomiya, gender or circumstances didn’t matter; romantic or sexual affairs were merely tools to satisfy her craving for recognition, whether positive or negative.

Since Hatano wasn’t someone Shinomiya liked, and their senior-junior club relationship was now gone, there was nothing connecting them. Yet, Shinomiya had dutifully responded to Hatano’s call. To her, Hatano honestly stated:

“I happened to be passing by and saw a familiar face in a dispute, so I called out.”

“…Are you blind? It looked like it was about to be resolved, didn’t it?”

Shinomiya puffed out her cheeks slightly, complaining with clear dissatisfaction.

Hatano shrugged her shoulders, exasperated by her tone.

“Well, it didn’t look that way to me.”

Hatano also knew it seemed about to be resolved. But she didn’t think the method of resolution was particularly admirable. Of course, who Shinomiya slept with was her own business, and Hatano had no right to stop her. Nor did she have any obligation to do so.

She just found that decadent lifestyle extremely unpleasant and wanted her to reconsider.

She didn’t think Shinomiya was a respectable person, but she’d never considered herself one either.

When Hatano tried to dodge the topic with a vague tone, Shinomiya let out a sigh.

“…Give me a break. How I live is my own business, isn’t it? What, are you playing my mom now? Unfortunately, only your fingers have been in your birth canal, senpai.”

“My tongue might have been in there too.”

“No inflammation, so that’s impossible.”

Shinomiya stuck out her tongue. Bleh. It was a terrible thing to say.

Scratching the back of her head, Hatano covered with a little lie.

“It’s not like I care how you live, and this time I just happened to be passing by. I called out because I saw a familiar face in a dispute, that’s all. No ulterior motive.”

Hatano tried to cover with a convenient lie to avoid trouble, but Shinomiya fell silent for a while, staring ahead as she walked. Then, she turned a look of clear irritation toward Hatano.

“…I love being envied. I love having desire directed at me. I love it more than anything. Someone acknowledging the meaning of my existence is what I love most in this world, and you interfered with that. And on top of that, you lie?”

It was different from her usual banter—words laced with genuine anger.

“I didn’t mean to interfere.”

“Calling out at that timing is exactly that.”

“Please don’t jump to conclusions. You’re the one who chose not to go, right?”

She had wanted her to reconsider, but the final decision was Shinomiya’s, and she had left that choice to her. She could apologize for killing the mood, but whether someone who ‘ran into an acquaintance on a street corner and called out’ should apologize was debatable.

Still, regardless of her actions, part of her had wanted to interfere. Shinomiya’s accusation wasn’t entirely off the mark, and Hatano sighed. Seeing Shinomiya’s face twist in clear displeasure with no room for retort, Hatano revealed a tiny bit of her true feelings.

“…I thought you should stop that unhealthy habit of hitting on anyone indiscriminately.”

Hearing Hatano’s softly revealed true feelings, Shinomiya frowned suspiciously. Then, snorting at those words, she relaxed only her mouth into a mocking smile while maintaining her displeased expression.

“One time and you think you own me? Don’t get so full of yourself. I don’t know what I was thinking the other day, but sober me hates people like you the most.”

Hatano felt the same about that. She should feel the same—but, for some misguided reason, she had tried to correct a friend’s decadent actions selfishly, self-centeredly, with her own values. This time, she was clearly at fault. Acknowledging this, Hatano lowered her eyes and apologized.

“…I felt like we’d gotten a bit closer. My bad.”

As she said this, Shinomiya’s eyes wavered slightly, and her expression tightened sternly.

Thinking any further conversation would be pointless, Hatano turned toward the station, intending to quicken her pace. But immediately, someone grabbed her arm. “Hey!” Turning to see who held her arm with a soft hand in a voice tinged with urgency and anger, she saw Shinomiya wearing a dissatisfied expression.

“What?”

“‘What?’ you say! Are you just going to leave like that!? Are you an idiot!?”

Faced with Shinomiya’s changed, angry expression shouting complaints, Hatano felt aversion.

“Wh-who are you calling an idiot!? I’m leaving because you’re annoyed, aren’t you!?”

“I said your lecturing is annoying! I didn’t say leave!”

“Do you have any business with me other than lecturing, you moron!”

Growing irritated and insulting her back, Shinomiya’s cheeks flushed with anger as she glared at Hatano. “Grunu!” Since they had strayed from the main street on the way to the station, there were few people around. Fortunately, shouting didn’t draw attention.

Shinomiya looked dissatisfied, showing signs of struggling with something. After pondering for a few seconds, she confirmed no one was around. Hatano braced herself for what she might say, but Shinomiya grabbed her hand.

“I told you, didn’t I? I love being envied, being acknowledged by someone, so much it makes me wet. And yet, you interfered. Do you understand? I was left hanging. Don’t you dare act all calm and try to leave after interfering.”

Her cheeks flushed red as she voiced her complaint.

While speaking, her fingertips lightly brushed against the entrance of her vagina. As if in sync with her mouth forming words, the delicate opening trembled gently. It felt hot, as if trying to devour Hatano’s fingers.

Though bewildered by her sudden, strange behavior, Hatano felt little hesitation given their relationship. Tfhey had seen each other completely naked just the other day and, though he had no memory of it, had apparently had sex. Hatano himself had felt sexual desire this morning but had been unable to relieve it. And while he disliked her, he didn’t feel much physical aversion or discomfort. If it was just a physical relationship, she wasn’t an entirely unsuitable partner.

Shinomiya continued to voice her complaints, her breath turning white in the late autumn night breeze.

“At this point, even you would do, senpai. I was supposed to be with him, but since you interfered, you should take responsibility and do it with me. …Even though I hate you more than anyone in the world, it’s still a hundred times better than doing it alone.”

If she had said, ‘Having sex with you feels a hundred times better than masturbating,’ he might have felt a bit better, but that didn’t seem to be the case. For her, doing it alone was that worthless, while being with someone who acknowledged her must hold value.

It was true—perhaps he should take responsibility for interfering. A part of him, a sexual desire for her that made his very womb ache, began to stir, but Hatano marshaled all his rationality to refuse. If he nodded here, the persuasiveness of the very lectures he had given her would be lost.

“I’ve been preaching to you to stop this kind of thing,” he firmly refused.

Even so, Shinomiya furrowed her brows skeptically.

“We already did it once, so it doesn’t make a difference. Or do you just dislike me?”

“You’re the type of person I hate most in the world, but I think you have a nice face.”

“Then isn’t it fine?”

“You’re a shitty woman, but the emails you sent during the day… I don’t think you’re a bad person. That’s why I want to correct your usual behavior. That’s why I won’t nod.”

As Hatano stubbornly insisted, Shinomiya pursed her lips.

“You refuse at night, yet you talk like someone who won’t even let me go to a brothel. You should live with your head and your crotch a little looser. What’s wrong with a one-night stand?”

“No.”

“Absolutely not?”

“If you want me to take responsibility, I’ll at least pay for a brothel.”

As he said this, Hatano reached into his pocket for his wallet, intending to hand her several ten-thousand-yen bills. It would be a painful expense, but he’d rather do this than bend his principles. The stubborn Hatano resolved himself and was about to take out the money when Shinomiya, looking defeated, stopped him with a sigh. “Ah, fine, I get it.”

Then, glaring at him with half-lidded eyes, she grudgingly proposed an alternative.

“I’ll give up and do it myself, so just lend me your place. I want to relieve it right away, but my home is far, and I can’t do it in a toilet or something. I can’t do it unless I’m naked.”

Lending his room to a junior from university so she could masturbate was absurd. Yet, sexual desire wasn’t something to be mocked, and he also felt guilty for taking away the partner she had worked to obtain. He should take responsibility, and this wouldn’t mean bending his principles.

Reluctantly, Hatano had no choice but to nod in agreement.