We Are Filthy, Born From Mud - Chapter 29

Chapter 29: Yes, She is Sensitive and Fragile. Did We Fail?

The elevator rose slowly, and Zong Yougu stepped out.

Due to laziness, she hadn’t come to the company for a while. Today, Zong Liangu refused to cover her shift no matter what, so she had to crawl out of bed and come to work dejectedly.

However, the audition results were due soon, and she truly wanted to see the outcome with her own eyes.

She took a look around; Su Tongguo had not come in. The usually clean and tidy desk was now a bit messy, and a delicate, small ornament had fallen over next to a potted plant.

Zong Yougu gave a small smile and quickly withdrew her gaze.

None of her business.

In any case, she had performed truly well. She was perfect.

“Zong Yougu, Sister Qi Fang wants you to come to her office.”

“Oh, okay.”

Zong Yougu wasn’t carrying a bag, and she had no work on hand at the moment. Hearing the message, she simply turned her steps and walked lightheartedly toward the office.

She pushed open the glass door: “Hello, Sister Qi Fang. You were looking for me?”

“Sit down.”

A cup of steaming tea sat by Qi Fang’s hand, but she remained motionless, her face showing a rare solemnity.

Zong Yougu found it strange. She sat down across from Qi Fang, suppressing the odd feeling in her heart and putting on a smile. She waited for Qi Fang to speak, but Qi Fang didn’t address her directly; she took a sip of tea and squinted her eyes.

A folder was pushed in front of Zong Yougu.

Zong Yougu looked down carefully. This was the preliminary casting list for Lin Lingwan. There were two lines of names, not yet finalized, but the final actor would definitely be chosen from this group.

Zong Yougu stared intensely, her gaze scanning it over and over as if refusing to give up.

But her name was not on it.

“The audition results are out. None of you secured the role of Lin Lingwan,” Qi Fang said. “Originally, Su Tongguo would have definitely gotten it. Liao Qinghe told me he had arranged everything, but yesterday Su Tongguo voluntarily gave up the role. I think she did the right thing.”

“Oh.” Zong Yougu’s eyebrows knit slightly.

She had anticipated that Su Tongguo might give up the role—after all, the guilt and unease on Su Tongguo’s face were real, and her inner struggle was real.

But why hadn’t she, Zong Yougu, been selected?

Was she that bad? Was there someone behind her who was better? Could she really not compare to so many people? Her brow furrowed deeper.

“You don’t need to feel discouraged. Given your experience, the difficulty of this role is truly immense. This is why I didn’t recommend you compete for it at the start. But it doesn’t matter; at least you experienced the audition process for a major production.”

As Qi Fang spoke, she took a new teacup from a drawer, poured boiling tea into it, swirled it, and discarded it into the tea tray.

Zong Yougu wasn’t comforted at all; if anything, her heart felt like it was on fire.

Qi Fang poured another cup and pushed it toward Zong Yougu: “I’m not saying this to crush you. On the contrary, I think highly of you. But do you know what the biggest problem you have is?”

“Hmm?” Zong Yougu kept her eyes lowered, her eyelids covering most of her irises.

“You are too impulsive,” Qi Fang took a sip of tea to moisten her throat. “Your reach exceeds your grasp, and you lack self-awareness. You either think too highly of yourself or hold yourself in too much contempt.”

Qi Fang’s gentle voice was piercing to Zong Yougu’s ears. The mild tone turned into needles, stabbing into her heart one by one. The smile on Zong Yougu’s face almost shattered. She took two deep breaths and smiled: “Sister Qi Fang, you’re right. I’ll work hard to adjust my mindset.”

Qi Fang smiled and said, “But this isn’t necessarily a bad thing. It shows you are ambitious. However, you can only go further if you keep your heart steady. Did you watch the February Orchid Awards this year?”

Zong Yougu nodded.

The February Orchid Awards were specifically established for young actors. The February Orchid blooms with small blue-purple flowers every February; it is shade-tolerant and cold-resistant, blooming in vast patches. The award was set up with the hope that young actors could weather the “February” of their lives, bloom their small flowers, and eventually let those scattered blossoms form a sea of flowers.

“In my view, you aren’t necessarily worse than those who were nominated. What you lack most right now is a good piece of work. To have a good work, there will certainly be many setbacks on this path. You must adjust your mindset.” Qi Fang sighed again. “One of you, one Su Tongguo—I hope both of you can go further and do better.”

Zong Yougu didn’t know what expression to make.

When she had first entered this industry, back when she was an extra, she was always dealing with malice from others. She had been scammed by fake agents, had her small stool stolen while working as an extra, and had been looked down upon on set… the unlucky incidents were endless. Scrambling her way up, she had synthesized a set of survival rules for herself.

Qi Fang’s words were so sincere and well-intentioned that, for a moment, Zong Yougu felt ashamed of her previous dark thoughts. She kept her head down; she had a feeling her tears were about to burst forth.

After a few hurried words, she left Qi Fang’s office in a state of disarray. The cup of tea in front of her was still steaming.

“Sister Yougu, what’s wrong?” As soon as she stepped out, Zong Yougu ran into Hu Yinghua.

“Nothing, just an urgent need to pee,” Zong Yougu blurted out nonsensically, rushing past Hu Yinghua and continuing to run forward.

Covering her face, she passed through several doors. There was no carpet in the hallway, and the floor tiles dimly reflected her bedraggled appearance.

Clang—

She locked herself in a toilet stall. Tears flooded out, and she gasped for air.

Was it the resentment of not getting the desired role? Or was she moved by Qi Fang’s words? She couldn’t tell herself. The pungent scent of cleaning fluid mixed with the unavoidable stench of the restroom, surging into Zong Yougu’s nose in waves.

She began to dry heave, and every surge of nausea brought out more tears and snot. She must look a mess right now; she must be so embarrassing. This thought held back her steps from going outside.

Slap—

She slapped herself. Her palm and cheek went numb; her cheek began to burn.

Zong Yougu, you are really pathetic.

Her previous smugness flashed before her eyes. She couldn’t stop herself from recalling her earlier demeanor; she felt like those clowns in plays set up for comic effect—all of it was laughable.

Bang, bang, bang—

The restroom door was being hammered loudly. Zong Yougu was startled. The sadness in her heart instantly transformed into rage.

Zong Yougu pushed off her knees and leaped up, hands on her hips, chest thrust out. She cursed loudly: “Are you insane? Can’t you see there’s someone in here? Are you blind?”

The person continued to pound on the door.

“Dead person, stray dog,” Zong Yougu cursed under her breath, viciously wiping tears and snot onto a paper towel, crumpling it into a ball and haring it into the bin. She threw open the stall door.

With a crash, the door hit the wall. The person outside dodged nimbly.

Zong Yougu’s eyes widened slightly, and the expression on her face twisted for a moment—a mix of anger and joy. Because the person in front of her was Zong Liangu.

Zong Yougu first threw her arms around Zong Liangu, greedily contacting the other’s skin; every touch made her feel secure. Once her emotions gradually calmed, she pushed the other away.

“What are you doing here?” Zong Yougu asked crossly.

“Did you forget? I’m your personal assistant. I have to come to work too,” Zong Liangu said as a matter of course.

Zong Yougu began to walk out. Instead of returning to her workstation, she pressed the elevator button.

“So embarrassing. Why did you have to pound on the toilet door? People will laugh at us,” Zong Yougu said coldly.

“I checked; there was no one else,” Zong Liangu’s tone held a trace of imperceptible pride.

Ding—

The elevator arrived. Zong Yougu yanked Zong Liangu inside. The elevator car rose slowly; no one spoke.

It wasn’t mealtime yet, so there weren’t many people in the company cafeteria. Zong Yougu walked ahead, crossing the neatly arranged tables and pushing open the terrace door. She pulled out a wicker chair and sat down casually.

Sitting face to face, Zong Liangu’s posture and movements were almost identical to hers.

“I failed,” Zong Yougu said airily. “We can’t play Lin Lingwan anymore.”

She held her hand high, letting the wind pass through the gaps between her fingers. She tried to catch something from the wind, but eventually, her hand dropped, covering the back of Zong Liangu’s hand.

Zong Liangu laughed and shook Zong Yougu’s hand off: “Weren’t you very confident before?”

Zong Yougu stared at Zong Liangu for a long time, and then she laughed too. Her hand followed the folds of Zong Liangu’s clothes upward, and she flicked Zong Liangu’s nose.

“You’re happy to see me sad? Don’t think I can’t tell you’re provoking me on purpose. You like seeing me in a mess; you like seeing me struggle.”

Zong Yougu reached out and pinched Zong Liangu’s nose and mouth. Her eyes stared straight at Zong Liangu, who gazed back calmly. After another gust of wind blew by, Zong Yougu released her hands, her eyes still fixed on the other.

On the surface, Zong Liangu still showed no signs of anything unusual, but Zong Yougu noticed that the rise and fall of Liangu’s chest as she breathed was deeper than usual.

“Not letting me play Lin Lingwan just shows their poor judgment. I am already good enough—we are already good enough.”

Zong Yougu sat back in the wicker chair, carelessly twirling the ends of Zong Liangu’s hair.

“But the reason I cried wasn’t because of that… Qi Fang told me she holds high expectations for me and Su Tongguo. She is looking forward to seeing me.”

“Hmm.”

Zong Liangu also tilted her head back to feel the flow of the wind. Her thumb rubbed against the base of her index finger, where there was a thick layer of callus.

“As I thought, you are blessed but don’t realize it,” Zong Liangu laughed.

Zong Yougu didn’t respond to that. She said, “Next year, I want to win an award. We can definitely do it, right?” She turned around. “I want both money and fame. With you here, we can definitely do it.”

“We… definitely can,” Zong Liangu answered perfunctorily.

Zong Yougu, having turned away, did not see the momentary blankness on Zong Liangu’s face.

The wind blew again, and Zong Yougu shivered: “It’s chilly out here. Let’s go.”

“Sister Yougu! Sister Yougu!” Before they could even take a step, Hu Yinghua’s voice could be heard from afar.

Zong Yougu and Zong Liangu exchanged a look, both faces filled with confusion.

“Sister Yougu…” Hu Yinghua said, out of breath, explaining as she gasped, “I was too excited to wait for the elevator, so I ran up the stairs.”

Zong Yougu quirked an eyebrow: “What’s so exciting?”

“Sister Yougu, you have a role to film! It’s the lead! You’re playing Yu Yulai.”

“Yu Yulai?”

“Yes, Yu Yulai!”