Waiting for You for a Long Time, But You Haven't Arrived - Chapter 42.2

But Jiang Qionghua didn’t care. She was not the kind of soft-hearted person who would be slaughtered at will; she wouldn’t aggrievedly take on faults that didn’t belong to her. She would explain, talking to Ming Yishu properly until the other listened.

“Ming Yishu, pull yourself together. Come, look at me, see if I am the one who harmed you.” Jiang Qionghua stepped forward forcefully, cupping the other’s face with both hands by the couch, forcing her to meet her gaze. “I said I would treat you well, I am not lying to you. Don’t be afraid of me.”

Ming Yishu was still terrified to the extreme. Meeting Jiang Qionghua’s face, she was so scared she wanted to cry out. Even though her eyes were closed, tears still fell in rows, trailing down her cheeks.

Jiang Qionghua looked at this reaction helplessly, her shoulders tensing with anxiety—how could this be? Why is she so afraid?

Is it truly to this extent?

Ming Yishu’s tears fell, sliding through the gaps of the fingers cupping her, trailing down the veins on the back of the hand. They were very hot, as if they could corrode the skin, causing Jiang Qionghua to release her hands instantly.

She looked down at the tears on the back of her hand. These were Ming Yishu’s tears. She had made the other cry again, yet she had clearly done nothing.

Was she wrong somewhere?

For a rare moment, Jiang Qionghua began to self-doubt. She thought of the past, of when Ming Yishu had cried and asked what she had done wrong—was the feeling in her heart like this?

At this thought, Jiang Qionghua’s heart felt another bout of bitter swelling and sourness. She clutched her chest, breathing in and out to alleviate her distress.

“Fine, I won’t look at you. Rest quietly by yourself; no one will come to disturb you.” Jiang Qionghua stood up and walked a few steps away somewhat aggrievedly, not daring to look back for fear of startling Ming Yishu. She said, “The doctor said you need to do something to pass the time; only then can you recover your health and spirits as soon as possible… In some time, it will be my birthday. Didn’t you say you wanted to make a set of jade hairpins for me? This year will be the sixth one, and soon they will be a complete and perfect set. You… if you have time, send me a birthday gift once more.”

Ming Yishu sent her a jade hairpin every year. Once, she had not cherished them, giving them away to subordinates at will or having them placed in the storehouse; now that so many years had passed, they probably couldn’t be found.

Jiang Qionghua had never regretted anything so much. She thought that if she had known Ming Yishu wanted to complete a set of jade hairpins, she would have preserved them well. That way, when Ming Yishu carved the last one this year, she could see the other’s smile again.

It didn’t matter; she could tell a small lie, deceiving the other into gathering her spirits to continue carving the jade hairpin.

It was only for the other’s early recovery, it was no harm.

Jiang Qionghua didn’t know how she walked out of the room. The moment she closed the door, she suddenly leaned against the doorframe weakly.

The breath that sustained her exit seemed to have dissipated. Her confidence vanished all at once. Having seen Ming Yishu’s condition with her own eyes, only now did Jiang Qionghua realize the other’s delusions had reached such a severe level.

How could it be… How could it turn out like this?

Jiang Qionghua leaned against the door with force, her fingers gripping tightly. She gritted her teeth, her heart in unbearable agony.

“Prime Minister.”

Seeing her in distress, her subordinates stepped forward to inquire.

Jiang Qionghua’s throat was so bitter she could not speak. She shook her head to indicate she was fine, then sighed deeply, pressing her forehead against the back of her hand.

Wait, just wait a bit longer. Ming Yishu will get better, she comforted herself.

Perhaps the suggestion from that day was heard by Ming Yishu. When Jiang Qionghua came to see her secretly, from a distance, she could always see Ming Yishu carving the jade hairpin for her under the lamp light.

Every time this happened, Ming Yishu seemed completely recovered, occasionally even giving her a tiny bit of her gaze or half a sentence of greeting.

She still liked to call her “Aunt.”

The first few times, Jiang Qionghua would feel moved and comforted by this address, but staying longer afterward, she would discover—Ming Yishu called her that because she still couldn’t distinguish reality from dreams, treating the present scene as if it were several years ago.

The decoctions were sent every day, but Ming Yishu never drank them, either pouring them out or watering the flowers. After all the green plants in the room were nurtured to death, Jiang Qionghua grew several strands of white hair out of worry. Yet she did not dare force the other to drink the medicine; once forced, Ming Yishu would feel that she was being forced to take poison.

Jiang Qionghua helplessly thought of many ways, but failed to cure Ming Yishu. She could only watch as the other’s illness dragged on longer and longer.

There was no way.

The other was like a flower—a flower she had carefully nurtured for six years. Because of a moment’s suspicion and mistreatment, she had committed a fault, causing the flower to wither its branches and lose its leaves. Once the petals decayed and the foundation was damaged, no matter how much she wanted to cherish it afterward, it was too late. She could only watch this flower move toward destruction day after day.

What difference was the pain of this from gouging out Jiang Qionghua’s own heart?

She regretted it, she knew to repent, but what could be done?

The deeper furrows in Xuan Ji’s brow every time he checked the pulse, and the vague answers from the sorcerer, all made Jiang Qionghua feel heart-broken. Even if those people spoke euphemistically and reservedly, she had to admit one thing—Ming Yishu seemed to be mad, and hard to save.

“Impossible, impossible! You are all a bunch of useless trash! She can be saved.”

Jiang Qionghua finally lost her temper amidst the daily torture. She smashed many things, and only after driving away the doctors and sorcerers did she sit alone in bitterness, covering her eyes.

She only begged for another chance at compensation, to make Ming Yishu well—to have her listen to a few words properly.

Not many, just a few would be fine.

Whatever Ming Yishu wanted to hear, she would say. Didn’t the other often chase her to ask if she liked her? She liked her, liked her to the extreme. She could say “I like you” ten thousand times in the other’s ear, as long as Ming Yishu was willing to listen, to listen while being clear-minded.

Jiang Qionghua had it all planned out: if she could see a calm and normal Ming Yishu, she would immediately tell the other that she liked her very much. She had also ordered many seamstresses to sew wedding robes—the wedding robes were the most beautiful in the world. She would marry her as the primary wife, with a sixteen-carrier sedan chair and a formal marriage, with dowry and betrothal gifts entering and leaving together, even more extravagant than the Imperial Family.

The birthday was approaching…

The night before, people from the Ministry of Rites came tentatively to test the waters, and the servants of the Prime Minister’s Manor also kept looking at her with hesitation.

Jiang Qionghua knew what these people wanted to ask—if Ming Yishu remained mad like this, should they proceed with the marriage according to the schedule?

“Rest assured, I (Gu) am also quite mad. What if she remains like this forever? I am willing to serve her. The first half of life was my madness; the second half should be my turn to repay her. I owe her.” Jiang Qionghua did not care about the eyes of the crowd at all. She drove these people away and said, “I will go see her tonight. With the joyous event approaching, she will surely get better.”

At this hour, Ming Yishu should still be carving the jade hairpin and hasn’t slept yet; she would just go take a look at her.

If… if by chance the other was awake, she would inform her of the joyous news—that she would marry her as his wife tomorrow… as well as how much she liked her.

Jiang Qionghua did not let anyone follow. She went alone to Ming Yishu’s bedchamber. Everything that had been moved once had been returned to its original place. She no longer dared to confine the person in her own room; the gold cage had been sent away to be melted, and there were no more golden chains. Ming Yishu had returned to her familiar place to rest, so she wouldn’t remember those unhappy things and could get well faster.

Getting closer, getting closer, Jiang Qionghua’s heart beat faster and faster. She stood at the door for a moment, suddenly seeing Ming Yishu’s figure through the window.

That delicate and beautiful silhouette often entered her dreams. Jiang Qionghua raised her hand to stroke the shadow across the air, as if she could hold the person in her arms.

Through the window, the figure’s movements seemed perfectly normal, showing not a hint of her delusion. Jiang Qionghua tilted her head up to blink away the soreness in her eyes, suppressing the distress in her heart.

She wished so much that the gods would answer once, letting Ming Yishu truly recover her original self because of the “countering” joy.

Even if the possibility was small, Jiang Qionghua was very willing to believe it.

Because. This was the last method she was trying.

She pushed open that door after all. No matter what the result was, she had to face it. Even if Ming Yishu was still mad… Jiang Qionghua thought to herself, she would still protect her.

The world is unpredictable. As she walked, Jiang Qionghua suddenly remembered a question Ming Yishu had once asked her. That day, she had brought Ming Yishu out of the palace, rushing back to the manor to treat the wound on her shoulder. On the way, a mad crone blocked the carriage, and Ming Yishu had asked her this—

The other asked: “If one day I also suffer from madness, is Aunt still willing to take care of me?”

A prophetic word.

Jiang Qionghua could not remember what answer she gave back then, but without thinking, it was certain she had used an impatient tone to brush off the other’s fantastical question.

She always failed to take Ming Yishu’s words to heart, relying on being several years older to treat Ming Yishu with the arrogance of an elder, time and again failing the other’s enthusiasm, time and again pushing the other away without reason…

She really was nothing good. She had personally lost the girl whose heart and eyes were full of her.

Jiang Qionghua’s eyes were extremely sour. She had to stop and recover for a moment, secretly vowing to take good care of Ming Yishu in the future. Regardless of how she responded back then, she would never despise the other for being mad in the future.

This was what she owed her.

“Qionghua?”

Jiang Qionghua was grieving inwardly when she suddenly heard a clear and gentle call. She realized something instantly and looked toward the source of the voice with reddened eyes.

“Qionghua, look if this hairpin is beautiful or not.” Ming Yishu appeared completely fine. She was neatly dressed, holding the carved jade hairpin in her hand, wearing the pins and sticks she usually loved most, dressed in the wide-sleeved skirt she used to wear often. She stood by the table, not far from the beauty couch where she had once trimmed Jiang Qionghua’s nails and kissed Jiang Qionghua’s fingers…

Jiang Qionghua couldn’t restrain herself; bitter tears instantly drenched her cheeks.

Looking at Ming Yishu’s appearance, she cried.

She tried to suppress the tears, but could not, so she could only grit her teeth and endure: “Beautiful, it’s extremely beautiful.”

Ming Yishu smiled slightly, then softly spoke many words. She said she had carved for a long time; Qionghua, as long as you like it. Tonight’s moonlight is very good, making the room very bright and soft. She also heard the howling of White He Yi; was that wolf cub locked up again? Lately, the weather has also improved a lot, most suitable for drinking some Osmanthus wine…

Jiang Qionghua did not dare to blink, staring at her unblinkingly, accompanying her in conversation with a question and an answer, until the last sentence, when Jiang Qionghua pulled her spirit back to ask: “Do you want to drink Osmanthus wine? I will have someone send it immediately.”

Ming Yishu pointed to herself and said: “I have already drunk it.”

“What? Where did the Osmanthus wine come from?” Jiang Qionghua’s heart suddenly turned heavy. The previous joy was gone, fearing Ming Yishu was speaking nonsense again. So she hurriedly followed up: “Is it the bottle I brought before? I didn’t finish it, did you hide it secretly? It’s been so long, it can’t be drunk anymore…”

Ming Yishu nodded with a smile: “Yes, Aunt brought it. I kept it hidden and couldn’t bear to drink it. Today is a good time, so I took it out and drank it.”

The more Jiang Qionghua thought, the more her heart was alarmed. Even though she was holding Ming Yishu, she still felt the person did not belong to her—as if she were very light, very faint, suddenly receding into the moonlight and disappearing.

“Where is the Osmanthus wine? Let Aunt see it, okay?”

As Jiang Qionghua asked this, her gaze searched the room.

“I am a bit sleepy, I need to rest first.” Ming Yishu covered her eyes with her sleeve and lay down on the beauty couch beside her. She pointed randomly in a direction, “Over there.”

Jiang Qionghua rose instantly to search, wanting to see when that Osmanthus wine was from and if it had spoiled, and if Ming Yishu would feel unwell after drinking it…

She saw a goblet and walked closer quickly.

Then. She stopped her steps.

There was no Osmanthus wine. On the table was only a cup of clear water and a red-plugged medicine bottle.

That touch of red was like a drop of blood, searing Jiang Qionghua’s vision. She moved closer, picked up that medicine bottle, rotated it to look, and remembered.

—Once, she had brought a bottle of He Ding Hong and a bottle of aphrodisiac to find Ming Yishu. She had intended to scare the other and pick a fight, but the other had scared her instead, making quite a scene.

So, this was that bottle of unfinished He Ding Hong.

Jiang Qionghua’s vision went dark. A sound came from her throat, like a dying beast that wanted to roar but had gone mute—exceptionally defeated and sorrowful.

She turned back frantically to rush toward Ming Yishu. She only hoped that the other had not drunk enough and could still be saved.

Ming Yishu lay on the beauty couch, her sleeve drooping. Blood began to seep slowly from the corners of her mouth. He Ding Hong was such a fierce poison, yet she seemed not to know the pain after drinking it; even the process of the poison’s onset was so quiet and gentle.

Too late. It was already too late.

Jiang Qionghua cried as she picked up Ming Yishu, only hoping that the other could hear a few words from her in her final moments. She did not dare to lower her head, hurriedly speaking the words she hadn’t had time for:

“Ming Yishu, tomorrow is the birthday and also the wedding. The wedding robes have been made…”

At this moment, the person in her arms suddenly gave a light cough, as if giving her a bit of a response.

It seemed like a reply.

Jiang Qionghua thought she could still hear and continued: “I have feelings for you, it’s not fake, it’s sincere liking. I will marry you as my primary wife tomorrow, you…”

Before she finished speaking, Jiang Qionghua suddenly sensed a wave of tragic silence—as if a gust of wind had scattered. She looked down blankly and saw a large, large patch of blood staining the front of Ming Yishu’s collar.

So, that cough just now was the end of her life.

It was not a response to her, but the symbol of her departure.

She… still didn’t have time to say the most important words. Ming Yishu didn’t hear them, and never would again.

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