Waiting for You for a Long Time, But You Haven't Arrived - Chapter 36

She Doesn’t Want to be Alone

“I’m leaving…”

“From now on, I will never like you again…”

Jiang Qionghua had been in a deep sleep for a very long time, falling into countless nightmares. She simply could not wake up. Ming Yishu’s parting words echoed incessantly in her ears, and she heard her dream-self speak with utter indifference:

“Then go. Do you think I actually care about you?”

In the dream, Ming Yishu merely gave a faint smile upon hearing this. She did not linger as she had in the past, but instead turned and walked away directly.

That person walked into the mist and never looked back once.

Jiang Qionghua’s eyes felt as if they would split.

No, that’s not right. That wasn’t what I wanted to say.

In nightmares, things are always beyond one’s control. Jiang Qionghua wished she could kill that version of herself who spoke such nonsense. Could she not see that Ming Yishu was already determined to leave?

Why couldn’t she say even a single word to make her stay?

Did she… simply have to be that stubborn?

A suffocating pain enveloped her. After struggling for a long time within the dream, Jiang Qionghua finally woke up in reality.

“Ming Yishu!”

She called the other’s name in terror, the end of her voice lingering in the empty bedchamber. No lamps were lit in the hall. The heavy darkness made it impossible for Jiang Qionghua to see anything, and the unease in her heart grew increasingly severe.

What happened?

Jiang Qionghua covered her forehead, slowly regaining her senses and beginning to think back on what had occurred before.

…Ming Yishu said she was taking back all of her affection, leaving her, and that they would never see each other again.

How could that be possible?

It happened too suddenly. Under the impact of the facts, Jiang Qionghua hadn’t fully processed it. She didn’t quite believe it; clearly, Ming Yishu liked her so much that she could tolerate all of her pride and cruelty. She had said before that she liked her—liked her temperament and even her flaws…

Jiang Qionghua had always thought that this kind of affection could last for a very, very long time.

She actually knew of Ming Yishu’s stubbornness. Someone like Ming Yishu, who even when eating pastries preferred the Osmanthus Crisp she had first tasted—how could she easily decide to leave?

Jiang Qionghua also remembered how poorly she had treated Ming Yishu in the past, yet the other would still gently choose to forgive her. Even when she herself felt she was in the wrong afterward, Ming Yishu never minded.

Exactly when did Ming Yishu start to change?

Jiang Qionghua thought she had already been treating Ming Yishu well during this period. She had suppressed her temper time and again and learned to change. Many things she previously could not tolerate, she had endured. For instance, upon learning of the “affair” between Ji Zijun and Ming Yishu, she hadn’t made things too difficult for Ming Yishu, had she? She had only said a few harsh words. Was it really necessary for this person to treat her so resolutely?

Could it be… Ming Yishu blamed her for forcing her to take the medicine?

Jiang Qionghua truly could not understand. She wasn’t actually giving her the kind of medicine that harmed the body; she was just using it as an excuse to nourish the other’s health. Even for the sake of her own dignity, she had to find a way to save face, right? It was impossible to just let it pass completely—why couldn’t Ming Yishu just be a bit more obedient?

Hadn’t she been very obedient before, always thinking of her?

How could she suddenly…

No.

Jiang Qionghua’s headache flared up again, as if something were violently churning. But there was no longer anyone by her side who could make her feel at peace.

Ming Yishu was gone.

Gone!

Why did she leave?

Jiang Qionghua remembered everything she had encountered before falling unconscious. The habitually submissive Ming Yishu had resolutely strangled her, hardening her heart to leave without a shred of softness.

Did she really not like her anymore?

No… she had said it; she was taking that affection back.

Jiang Qionghua felt extremely wretched. The bitterness made it difficult for her to even make a sound. When she had looked into Ming Yishu’s eyes back then, a massive panic had instantly drowned her. She knew the other was someone who would do exactly as she said, which made her even more uneasy, even more pained.

In the past, when she possessed that affection, she had bullied Ming Yishu almost fearlessly. Because she knew Ming Yishu wouldn’t leave her, she wanted to demand more… demanding that Ming Yishu both love her wholeheartedly and submissively cater to her.

Clearly, this was just Jiang Qionghua’s fantasy. She had gone too far and pushed the person to the brink.

Jiang Qionghua hadn’t intended for it to be like this.

She was changing, but it was still too late.

Thinking calmly, she still wanted to keep Ming Yishu by her side. In the entire world, only this person could alleviate her pain, and only Ming Yishu would offer her heart unreservedly. Six years—it had been six years. Ming Yishu had accompanied her through this entire journey. Her first kiss and first intimacy were all Ming Yishu’s. How could this person have the heart to say words like “leaving her” and “taking back her love”?

Jiang Qionghua did not want to admit this at all. She didn’t want to let go. How did Ming Yishu dare to be the one to bring it up first?

The hall was pitch black. Sensation slowly returned to Jiang Qionghua’s hands and feet. She nearly crushed her teeth from clenching them. The distress in her heart was truly severe; therefore, upon realizing she had been stripped of her clothes and locked up, that feeling of sorrow actually outweighed her anger. She wasn’t even angry anymore.

The panic of losing Ming Yishu made it impossible for her to feel any rage.

For these six years, the person had lived in her manor, occasionally spending the nights with her. They had once been so intimate and inseparable.

Jiang Qionghua had disposed of all her relatives. Ming Yishu, who had stayed with her for six years, far surpassed those nominal “blood relations.” The moment she thought about the manor no longer having Ming Yishu in the future, Jiang Qionghua felt as if her heart were being pierced by a blade.

No.

She had to bring the person back.

Jiang Qionghua frantically considered ways to bring Ming Yishu back to the Chancellor’s Manor. No matter what, she could not let Ming Yishu leave her.

Even if this person continued to give her the cold shoulder after returning to the manor, it wouldn’t matter. As long as she stayed obediently by her side, she wasn’t incapable of making changes.

Whatever rewards Ming Yishu wanted, she could give…

Jiang Qionghua’s gaze was vacant as she let her thoughts wander. Suddenly, she realized that Ming Yishu didn’t seem very interested in rewards. Those so-called rewards had always been her own wishful thinking.

Ming Yishu wasn’t happy.

So, what exactly did Ming Yishu want?

If this were in the past, Jiang Qionghua would have absolutely refused to settle down and properly consider these trivial matters. But now, she didn’t dare not think about them. If she wanted to bring the person back and keep her there, she had to think.

Jiang Qionghua struggled to remember, calculating through various past events. She inevitably thought of many small moments of her time with Ming Yishu. Back then, Ming Yishu always loved to tell her about insignificant little things. Every time, she had found her annoying and would always cruelly interrupt her.

And what about Ming Yishu? Even though she was relentlessly interrupted, her eyes would only dim slightly, and her dedication never wavered.

—They used to be so harmonious and peaceful.

Jiang Qionghua regretted it immensely. The more she looked back, the more she felt she had indeed been too arrogant, forcing the Ming Yishu who loved her so much into this final, cold state.

She had lost the Ming Yishu whose eyes were full of only her, and had even caused the other’s heart to die and leave.

What Chu Qing said that day was not false; her own conceit and arrogance were indeed ruinous. If she had known sooner that Ming Yishu would leave today without warning, she, Jiang Qionghua, certainly wouldn’t have pushed her.

It didn’t matter. She could still find the person and coax her again.

As long as she killed Ji Zijun, there was still time. When that time came, she could give Ming Yishu whatever she wanted. She really wouldn’t bully her anymore.

Only when the person suddenly left did Jiang Qionghua realize she simply could not bear Ming Yishu not being by her side. Betrayal or not, she could choose not to care or pursue it, as long as Ming Yishu continued to stay. Nothing else was important.

Jiang Qionghua gasped in pain, never having felt such defeat.

She had already attained supreme power and glory over these years. She thought there was nothing else she wanted—until she had Ming Yishu. Only then did she know Ming Yishu’s worth. No amount of wealth could compare to the person one loves.

Right. She shouldn’t stay here any longer. She had to quickly send people to find traces of Ming Yishu. Surely the other hadn’t gone far…

Jiang Qionghua stood up abruptly. The brocade quilt fell away. Even though she couldn’t see anything clearly, she still realized something.

Her clothes had been removed by Ming Yishu’s own hands. In other words, the other had already seen her scars.

Jiang Qionghua belatedly lowered her head, realizing that the miserable humiliation she had been hiding had been seen by Ming Yishu after all. She had never been so self-conscious. Seeing such a broken body, that person must have felt utter disgust, right?

Jiang Qionghua closed her eyes and exhaled. Every part of her body hurt more and more. Using the darkness of the night, she reached out to touch her surroundings and discovered she was indeed locked up. The chains she had originally intended for Ming Yishu had all recoiled upon herself as retribution. The other had even heartlessly locked the cage…

Truly heartless.

Jiang Qionghua powerlessly supported her forehead, sliding down against the golden bars to sit on the floor. Her Ming Yishu had abandoned her just like that.

Why did she no longer linger?

I can change everything.

Jiang Qionghua gripped the quilt in agony, calling Ming Yishu’s name over and over in her heart. No matter how much she didn’t want to admit it, she had to face reality.

The Ming Yishu who loved her most was truly gone.

Jiang Qionghua’s hand dropped. While staring fixedly into her pain, she suddenly felt something by her hand.

“What is this?”

She murmured, picking it up. By the faint moonlight, Jiang Qionghua looked down—it was medicine. The medicine that had fallen from her sleeve. The medicine she had intended to return to Ming Yishu.

Ming Yishu didn’t take it?

Ming Yishu didn’t take it!

Lost and dejected, Jiang Qionghua gripped the medicine bottle tightly. She couldn’t understand why Ming Yishu hadn’t even taken the medicine. This was the medicine that could treat the other’s acute heart condition. In an emergency, it was life-saving!

Could it be that Ming Yishu loathed her so much that even the medicine she had in her sleeve was loathed along with her?

Jiang Qionghua felt as if a log were blocking her blood vessels. A breath caught in her throat, neither going up nor down, forcing her to bend over to alleviate the pain.

Ming Yishu must have loathed her to the extreme to have left without taking anything.

“You can be angry with me, you can break things off, but why wouldn’t you even take your medicine?” Jiang Qionghua stared blankly at the medicine bottle alone, feeling even more heartache over Ming Yishu’s lack of self-care.

Doesn’t she know to pay attention to her heart ailment…

Clutching the bottle, Jiang Qionghua didn’t know what to do.

She couldn’t wait any longer. She had to take the medicine and pursue Ming Yishu. Even if just for that heart condition that could flare up at any time, she had to be quick.

If she went faster, she could still bring her back!

The Chancellor’s Manor kept many hidden guards; surely someone was still watching Ming Yishu. Ming Yishu couldn’t have run far. She would definitely make it in time. It wasn’t too late yet.

Once she brought the person back, she would cast aside all her bad temper and treat her properly again.

Jiang Qionghua stood up, no longer caring for dignity. After gathering the quilt to cover her body, she looked around and called out, “Someone, come!”

There was no response from outside for a long time.

She raised her voice to call several more times, then turned and used the golden chain binding her to strike the cage forcefully. The clanging sound rang out in the silence, very much drawing attention, but there was still no sound from anyone outside.

Jiang Qionghua: “…”

With such a commotion, the hidden guards with their superior hearing couldn’t have failed to notice.

Could it be that Ming Yishu said something before she left, so the people outside didn’t dare come in? Jiang Qionghua didn’t understand the situation outside, but she understood Ming Yishu. Once Ming Yishu resolved to leave, she would surely have made full preparations. For example, making her look like this and locking the cage—she certainly didn’t intend to give her a chance. Presumably, the servants outside had also been instructed not to enter easily.

Thinking quite thoroughly, but Jiang Qionghua truly could not offer any praise because she had to get out and find the person. Otherwise, if she really let her get away, it would be too late.

Jiang Qionghua was fortunate that Ming Yishu had left some hair ornaments for her. She leaned down to pick up a hairpin, aimed the sharp end at the window, and threw it with force, alerting the guards outside.

“If you’re not dead, blindfold yourselves and get in here,” Jiang Qionghua spoke coldly. “Ming Yishu has run away. You go after her first. Then some of you come and open the lock—just smash it.”

Her expression was terrible to the extreme. Worry, panic, concern, and disappointment were all beyond words to describe her many emotions. Jiang Qionghua’s mind was in chaos. Right now, she didn’t want to think about anything else; she only wanted to bring Ming Yishu back.

“Wait.”

“When you go after her, bring the medicine in my hand to her as well.”

“She has a heart ailment. All of you be careful, do not startle her.”

While Jiang Qionghua was preparing to hand over the medicine, she heard one of her subordinates speak: “Chancellor, Miss Ming said she was going to buy Osmanthus Crisps for you. We received your orders and did not dare follow. We thought that if someone were to deliver medicine to Miss Ming, it would be inconvenient for us to be present…”

“A bunch of useless trash. You can’t even distinguish the situation.” Jiang Qionghua became increasingly uneasy. She also remembered that she had instructed them not to follow Ming Yishu. At that time, she had indeed been thinking of letting Ji Zijun continue to give Ming Yishu medicine, but she hadn’t expected Ming Yishu to be plotting to leave today.

To encounter such a coincidence… it was truly a trick of fate.

Jiang Qionghua was furious at her own decision, and even more hateful of herself for failing to notice earlier that something was wrong with Ming Yishu.

When the other had changed clothes and returned to embrace her proactively, she should have been more careful and asked another question. Perhaps if her tone had been softer then and she had given the answer Ming Yishu wanted, the other might not have left?

Jiang Qionghua regretted it to the extreme, even feeling a sense of self-loathing.

“So… Miss Ming wasn’t going to get medicine?”

While opening the lock, a younger one among the hidden guards asked this question.

“Nonsense. I said she ran away. What would she be getting? What did you think she was going to get?” Jiang Qionghua scolded with a headache. “Her medicine is in my hand. Who else could she go to? She…”

Wait.

Jiang Qionghua suddenly stopped her words and looked gloomily at the blindfolded guard.

Ming Yishu hadn’t taken the medicine—perhaps it wasn’t because she loathed her, but rather—she had gone to find Ji Zijun. Ji Zijun could make medicine, and there were many medicines there. That was why Ming Yishu didn’t care about this bottle in her hand.

Jiang Qionghua: “…”

Good, very good.

She was so angry once again that her head spun, and she nearly coughed up blood on the spot.

No wonder she didn’t take the medicine, no wonder she was so resolute. Ming Yishu, oh Ming Yishu, you really know how to infuriate someone.

Jiang Qionghua thought hatefully: what else did she have left to coerce Ming Yishu into staying by her side? She had to snatch the person back from Ji Zijun, so she had to find a reason that made Ming Yishu feel she must stay.

What did Ming Yishu care about? She cared about the maidservant by her side, and that wolf cub.

The maidservant… the maidservant had been sent away…

Right, there was also Heyi.

Jiang Qionghua’s face was dark as she asked, “Where is Xiaobai? Where did that wolf cub go? You catch it for me immediately. I will send out word right now—if Ming Yishu doesn’t come back, I will take that wolf cub and…”

The subordinates said: “Heyi is gone.”

They explained.

When Miss Ming left back then, Heyi seemed to have followed and run off. No one had seen clearly.

But afterward, the wolf cub’s silhouette was no longer seen in the manor.

Hearing this news, Jiang Qionghua covered her lips and turned her face away, coughing until she became breathless.

“Chancellor!”

Everyone was shocked into silence.

Jiang Qionghua felt as if her soul had been snatched away. She could no longer even stand steadily.

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