Waiting for You for a Long Time, But You Haven't Arrived - Chapter 26

“I shall grant you the position of my concubine. How does that sound?”

“Why have you stopped crying?” Jiang Qionghua asked with a hint of malice. “Is it because you feel I performed poorly?”

It wasn’t necessarily poor, but it was evident that she had never done such a thing before.

“Qionghua, have you ever tried it yourself?” Ming Yishu leaned against her shoulder, her slender neck lightly misted with sweat. “In these thirty-four years, have you ever touched anyone else?”

Jiang Qionghua fell into a rare silence.

Naturally, she hadn’t. But… what did Ming Yishu mean by asking such a thing now? Was she truly that inept? To be mocked by her like this.

Jiang Qionghua frowned. “Why would I waste my time entertaining myself? It is not as if I am overly idle.”

Ming Yishu did not get the answer she sought and continued to press: “Have you touched anyone else?”

This was a question Jiang Qionghua found difficult to answer. If she admitted she hadn’t, where would her dignity go? If Ming Yishu knew, she would surely tease her for it.

“Qionghua, answer me.”

Ming Yishu stubbornly insisted on a reply, leaning in intimately to peck at Jiang Qionghua’s ear.

Jiang Qionghua’s gaze gradually settled on Ming Yishu’s face. Despite their extreme physical proximity, the look in their eyes held an unbridgeable estrangement.

Jiang Qionghua did not know how to respond.

“Speak—”

In the silent wait, Ming Yishu’s heart felt as though it were being squeezed tightly, growing increasingly sorrowful and pained.

Why was she afraid to say it?

What was that person afraid of? Things had already reached this point; would she still care about appearances?

But Jiang Qionghua remained silent. Ming Yishu stared into her eyes without blinking. In this unsightly posture, they continued their silent standoff.

They sat facing each other, bodies entwined, lips slightly parted as if to kiss or graze one another, yet neither spoke another word.

After a moment, Jiang Qionghua pulled Ming Yishu forcefully into her embrace. “What do you think?”

Ming Yishu withdrew all her emotions and began to pour herself entirely into the present moment. “It doesn’t matter.”

What could it matter?

The facts were laid out before her; what use was there in asking?

This woman was thirteen years her senior and held such high authority—how could she lack for men or women? As long as she desired it, she wouldn’t even need to speak; countless people would rush to offer themselves.

Ming Yishu felt a bitter pang in her heart, even wanting to laugh at herself for asking such a question.

It would have been better not to ask than to invite such humiliation.

With that thought, she closed her eyes, turning all her heavy pain into a different kind of release upon Jiang Qionghua. She gripped the other woman’s arm hatefully, calling out Jiang Qionghua’s name over and over.

“Ming Yishu… stop shouting. I am not deaf, nor am I dead.”

Jiang Qionghua helplessly wiped away Ming Yishu’s tears. The tracks from earlier had not yet dried, and the skin beneath her eyes felt cool to the touch.

“The one who is dead is me, not you,” Ming Yishu muttered like someone delirious with fever. Her eyes were hazy, and she breathed heatedly against Jiang Qionghua’s ear, biting her lip. “Qionghua, are you incapable? Why do you have no strength left?”

Jiang Qionghua:

No one would endure such a provocation. Flickering with thin rage, Jiang Qionghua immediately exerted her full strength, nearly crushing Ming Yishu’s bones.

Ming Yishu did not cry out in pain. It was as if she were deliberately using physical pain to numb herself. While she urged Jiang Qionghua to be more forceful, she also accepted it with passionate abandon, her body moving in total indulgence.

An unknown amount of time passed. It was unclear if dawn had broken outside. Jiang Qionghua noticed Ming Yishu’s eyes had dimmed slightly before she finally spoke.

Ming Yishu listlessly let go of her, appearing exhausted as she pulled a thin quilt over herself. “Enough. You may leave.”

Jiang Qionghua’s expression darkened. “In the past, you would never take the initiative to drive me away. Every time I came to you, you were the one begging me to stay.”

“In the past, you didn’t want to kill me either,” Ming Yishu said, her voice very low. Her words, which should have been clear, were now tinged with the hoarseness that follows indulgence. “There is no need to say more. Just go; I am tired.”

Being treated with such indifference left Jiang Qionghua dissatisfied. They had just shared such fulfillment and pleasure; how could Ming Yishu turn so cold the moment it was over?

“Are you… uncomfortable? I have nothing urgent to attend to; I can help you wash. It is messy here; have your maid clean it up while you come with me to rest elsewhere.” Having finally been satiated after many years, Jiang Qionghua thought to follow secular etiquette and be gentle with Ming Yishu. She sat by the bed, smoothing Ming Yishu’s disheveled hair. “Whatever reward you desire, I shall grant it to you.”

“I am fine. It was pleasant. I’m not going. I’m tired,” Ming Yishu replied tersely. “I want nothing.”

Giving a reward after intimacy? Was this some new way of insulting her?

Ming Yishu was a modern person. In the modern world, one didn’t need compensation after such an act—unless one was selling their body.

Jiang Qionghua looked at Ming Yishu, finally sensing the slight emotional shift through her icy tone. She sighed helplessly. “I meant nothing else. I simply wish to cherish you. Since I have caused you such disarray, I must coax you to be happier.”

Ming Yishu remained silent for a long time. Seeing that the other woman wouldn’t leave without a response, she said, “Come see me tomorrow night as well.”

Upon hearing this, Jiang Qionghua’s cold, elegant features softened with emotion. She thought for a moment and indulged her: “I can come tonight, tomorrow night—every night.”

Ming Yishu gave a faint hum, dismissing her casually. “We shall see, depending on my mood.”

“However, that hardly counts as a reward. I have only just had you; the novelty is still there. Even if you didn’t ask, I would still come to your quarters these days.” Jiang Qionghua touched her cheek lightly through her hair. “Choose another reward. You can be greedy; it’s fine. I will grant it.”

Ming Yishu murmured to herself, “But you wouldn’t even answer such a simple question earlier…”

“I intended to tell you at daybreak,” Jiang Qionghua lied effortlessly before continuing, “But since you have asked, I will no longer keep you in suspense—I have never touched anyone else.”

Ming Yishu shifted her gaze slightly, wanting to look at her, but ultimately decided against it.

“I see.”

She said.

“Now you can leave.”

“I had never done those things before, but as for the future… who can say.” Jiang Qionghua scanned Ming Yishu with her usual predatory gaze, like a giant python eyeing its prey. She spoke softly: “Ming Yishu, since you cannot bring yourself to ask for a reward, I shall decide for you—how about I give you a status?”

Ming Yishu’s low mood suddenly tightened. She thought she had misheard. She propped herself up and turned to look at Jiang Qionghua. “Qionghua, what did you just say? Say it again.”

Jiang Qionghua narrowed her eyes, a smile playing on her lips. “I want to give you a status.”

This time she heard it clearly. Ming Yishu’s heart, which had been dead, began to beat once more. Like a bride-to-be waiting for a ring, she stared at the other woman with intense focus.

“Is a mere status enough to make you this happy?” Jiang Qionghua was surprised, but her mood lightened at Ming Yishu’s reaction. She took Ming Yishu’s hand and said, “I shall permit you to be my concubine. On an auspicious day of our choosing, I will formally grant you the title.”

Concubine.

Ming Yishu froze. She realized belatedly that in this ancient feudal system, there was indeed a distinction between a primary wife and a concubine. The absurd part was that the head of a household could have one wife and many concubines. For someone of supreme power, there was never a shortage of beautiful women.

“There is no need.”

Ming Yishu forced a cold smile, seemingly mocking her own cheap affection. She loved the other woman too much; that was why she had lost her head, foolishly thinking she might be the “only one” when a status was promised.

She was wrong.

How could she forget? This was ancient times. A person like her, with such unseemly love, was not worthy of being regarded as the only wife.

The irony was that even this small “status” was a “reward” condescendingly bestowed when the other woman was in a good mood.

“It is better to have no name or status,” she thought. “That way, when the time comes to leave, there will be no lingering attachments, and the departure will be easier.”

Ming Yishu felt cold. She shrank back into the brocade quilt, unable to get warm. Even though the floor heating and charcoal fires were warm, her hands and feet remained icy.

She comforted herself, thinking it didn’t matter. As long as she wasn’t bound by a title, she could still deceive herself—that they were as they had been before, that her cautious love remained unknown, and that whatever others were by Jiang Qionghua’s side had nothing to do with her.

Seeing her lack of joy, Jiang Qionghua asked, “Why do you look so crestfallen? Were you not full of joy a moment ago?”

“I misheard,” Ming Yishu shook her head, repeating that she had misheard. “I cannot accept this reward.”

Jiang Qionghua chuckled. “Misheard? I am older, but I am not deaf. Do you actually harbor the delusion of becoming my primary wife?”

Ming Yishu turned her back, hiding her internal turmoil. “No. You misheard.”

“A primary wife—especially mine—is not something promised so easily. I thought you always understood that. I didn’t expect—” Jiang Qionghua trailed off. Even though Ming Yishu was withdrawing, she continued to press her. “I didn’t expect that after pining for me for so many years, your ambition would be so great that you’d lose sight of your own status. You certainly wish for a lot.”

Ming Yishu could no longer hear what she was saying.

As if her ears were ringing, her mind was a chaotic mess of pain. There was no escape; her fragile dignity was impossible to maintain. She refused to let tears fall, biting her lip hard and forcing herself to stop listening.

Don’t dream. Don’t deceive yourself.

Ming Yishu.

She told herself.

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