Waiting for You for a Long Time, But You Haven't Arrived - Chapter 25

“I simply love the way you look when you cry.”

Jiang Qionghua paused, her eyes dropping to look at Ming Yishu’s hand, which was gripping her arm tightly.

The other woman must have been in pain; her polished fingernails were turning white from the excessive force. However, Jiang Qionghua felt no pity for her at all. Instead, she issued a cold command:

“Let go.”

Ming Yishu gritted her teeth. The sensation of pain caused a thin layer of sweat to break out on her forehead. Setting aside the fact that she hadn’t derived a single ounce of pleasure from this, she truly hadn’t expected it to be this painful.

Across two lifetimes, this was her first time—so humiliating, so perfunctory… it felt more like a prolonged torture.

Jiang Qionghua, her clothes still neat and orderly, looked down at her from above. “You really are quite delicate.”

Ming Yishu silently released her grip, covering her eyes with the back of her hand. “It hurts.”

“I did it on purpose.” Even now, Jiang Qionghua refused to utter a single word of tenderness. she stared coldly at Ming Yishu. “You must clearly understand your status and position. I have raised you for so many years; it is only right that you are used by me. If I want you to hurt, you must endure it. Seeing you like this makes me feel much better.”

Cruel words could apparently cut even deeper. Ming Yishu thought she was no longer capable of being hurt by this woman, but she hadn’t realized that Jiang Qionghua could still violate her body and insult her heart under these circumstances.

“Qionghua, for what purpose? Since you loathe me, why did you make me drink that drugged water?” Because the effects of the medicine were long-lasting, the corners of Ming Yishu’s eyes remained flushed. She was utterly exposed, her fragile thoughts laid bare. Tears welled in her eyes as she questioned Jiang Qionghua with resentment, “Since you won’t let me touch you, how do you plan to dispel the effects of the medicine?”

Jiang Qionghua didn’t know how to dispel them either. She lowered her eyes, allowing her fingers to be swallowed by the warm moisture.

What was she supposed to do?

Perhaps Ming Yishu’s impassioned appearance was simply too beautiful; Jiang Qionghua found that merely looking at her was enough to quench her own thirst.

“My affairs are none of your concern,” Jiang Qionghua said, maintaining a thin facade of dignity. “There isn’t only one person in this Prime Minister’s Manor.”

Ming Yishu’s heat instantly turned to a chilling frost. She almost thought she had misheard. “What?”

Jiang Qionghua repeated: “I said—there is more than just you by my side. You needn’t put on such an air of lofty purity before me.”

Having finally heard clearly, Ming Yishu’s heart half-died within her.

This moment of intimacy was indeed a agonizing ordeal.

Ming Yishu slightly closed her knees, pulling back in sorrow. “Then go find someone else, lest you arrive late and spoil the mood.”

“I never said I was going to find someone else.” Half-irritated, Jiang Qionghua yanked her back. She then removed all her hair ornaments, letting her black tresses fall loose. “I told you I was punishing you. Suffer through it properly.”

Usually, the high-ranking Jiang Qionghua wore her hair and clothing in a manner that was majestic and rigorous. Except when washing her hair, she never allowed her strands to fall so freely in front of others. Making such a gesture now could be viewed as “disrobing.”

Jiang Qionghua’s cold, striking eyes were partially obscured by her dark hair. Some of it draped over her front, and because it was so long, a few strands accidentally brushed between Ming Yishu’s legs.

“Qionghua, you…” Ming Yishu shuddered violently. The slippery, cool, and soft sensation stirred a restless, itchy heat within her. She backed away again, struggling. “Can you… pull your hair back?”

Jiang Qionghua casually tossed the intrusive black hair over her shoulder and pressed her left hand down on Ming Yishu’s right shoulder.

She said, “Stop moving. Spread them further, and cooperate with me properly.”

Ming Yishu struggled. “If you could just be gentler—”

“I cannot.” Gripping Ming Yishu’s shoulder, Jiang Qionghua flatly rejected the plea. She leaned in forcefully, thrusting her fingers all the way in, leaving only the base of her knuckles constrained outside. “I want you to hurt.”

“Let go!” Ming Yishu began to pummel the woman’s arm in a state of collapse. But being restrained as she was, she had no strength left. It didn’t look like she was angry or resisting; it looked like a coquettish provocation.

Jiang Qionghua’s brow furrowed slightly. She allowed the other woman to struggle for a moment before looking at her face. That elegant, beautiful countenance was currently filled with such panic—like a splash of bright red blood cast upon pure white snow, stained with a vivid hue.

A surge of unprecedented palpitation rose in Jiang Qionghua’s heart. She felt incredibly thirsty. It was Ming Yishu who brought her this feeling, but it was also only Ming Yishu who could quench this most urgent thirst.

In that brief moment of indulgence, Jiang Qionghua suddenly snapped back to reality, noticing that Ming Yishu was instinctively trying to hide away again. She chased forward with dissatisfaction, though she didn’t press too hard, always keeping her knuckles halfway inside the other.

Ming Yishu couldn’t escape no matter what. She exhausted herself trying to retreat, but when she eventually looked down, she saw that the other woman was still there. She looked up at her in a half-broken state, her gaze colliding with the other woman’s lust-filled eyes.

They stared at each other in silence for a fleeting moment, then simultaneously averted their eyes… looking down together at what was happening below.

The atmosphere heated up abruptly. It was as if the medicine had taken a long time to reach its full effect. Both women felt as if they were being burned, not daring to look at one another. In the silence, there was only the sound of heavy breathing and the rustle of clothes being cast aside.

“Leave half on. There are whip scars on my back and a scar on my chest; it would spoil the scenery.” Ultimately, Jiang Qionghua still couldn’t face herself. She smiled bitterly for a moment and reached out to brush away the sweat-dampened stray hairs on Ming Yishu’s forehead. The movement was almost tender. “Don’t look. I don’t want you to see.”

Ming Yishu didn’t say much. She looked up at her, seeing a glimmer of warmth in the woman’s eyes.

Fine. I won’t look.

Ming Yishu had wanted to say that her own back bore wounds as well, but she didn’t speak up in the end. After all, she didn’t care about her own scars, and Jiang Qionghua’s concern for scars was only directed at herself.

No need for explanations, no need for consolation. Just sink into this moment.

It was rare to see such a gentle gaze from the other woman. Ming Yishu considered this the only bit of sweetness found within the bitterness—something that could coax her into drinking the poison offered by the other’s hand. Even if it was a humiliation, she could manage to swallow it.

A long, long time later, after the effects of the medicine had completely vanished, their emotions finally settled. They leaned against each other, huddling together.

Jiang Qionghua held Ming Yishu from behind, appearing both like she was protecting a cherished object and like she was exerting total control over her.

Though Ming Yishu’s hair was long, it couldn’t compare to Jiang Qionghua’s. Their black tresses were entangled, inseparable for the time being.

Jiang Qionghua’s arm wrapped around Ming Yishu’s front, taking her hand.

In the profound silence of the darkness, it was unclear who made a sound first, but the two spoke simultaneously:

“Don’t speak for a moment…” “I don’t wish to hear you speak for now…”

Every exchange resulted in an argument. Neither wanted to break the current peace, but as if possessed, they both instinctively destroyed the harmony.

Jiang Qionghua let go of Ming Yishu’s hand and stood up to fix her clothes. “I am leaving.”

Ming Yishu’s back was to her; she did not respond.

The soft handkerchief that had been brought over earlier hadn’t been put to use. Jiang Qionghua glanced at it and casually tossed it toward Ming Yishu. “It’s far too wet. Deal with it yourself; I won’t bother with it.”

After a moment of silence, Ming Yishu turned around, her gaze becoming calm. “This is my bedchamber. I can bathe. As for you, Qionghua…”

She looked down at the other woman as she spoke, finishing the sentence: “Since you find me so filthy, why don’t you use it to wipe yourself? It must be very uncomfortable to leave with your clothes in such a state.”

Jiang Qionghua’s hands, which were straightening her clothes, gradually stopped. Her expression shifted several times before she coldly called her name: “Ming Yishu.”

Ming Yishu picked up the soft handkerchief and threw it back in the woman’s direction. “I am the one being punished. I have already served the punishment; I will not serve you in any remaining matters.”

The handkerchief landed softly at Jiang Qionghua’s feet. Jiang Qionghua was so incensed by Ming Yishu’s provocation that she gritted her teeth.

How had Ming Yishu become like this? She used to be so obedient and submissive. How had she become so sharp-tongued and abrasive in just a few days? Every word she spoke was aimed at what people didn’t want to hear, each word hiding a tiny dagger, insisting on causing discomfort.

Fuming with rage, Jiang Qionghua decided not to leave after all. She stepped forward and pinned Ming Yishu down once more. “I shouldn’t have let you have it so easy!”

Ming Yishu was startled by the woman’s volatility, but she quickly adjusted her emotions, pulling Jiang Qionghua down onto the couch with her.

“Qionghua, you were the one who wanted to leave. Coming back for more now… could it be you haven’t had enough?” Ming Yishu’s mood was truly foul, and she no longer wanted to cater to the other’s feelings as she had in the past. She revealed the coldest side of her personality, saying to Jiang Qionghua, “Why are you like this? What would it hurt to admit even half a shred of sincerity?”

Jiang Qionghua’s inner world was forever a mess, filled with a dark, heavy miasma. She couldn’t see her own heart clearly; she was constantly in a state of agonizing torment, making things difficult for herself, lingering in her own slow execution.

She was hurting terribly, too.

She was not a magnanimous person. She couldn’t let go of the hatred in her heart, couldn’t forgive the pains of the past. She couldn’t move on, couldn’t forgive, and couldn’t reconcile with herself.

Just as now, she didn’t want to admit—that she had indeed become addicted to Ming Yishu. A single glance stirred her heart; she was reluctant to leave and still wanted to possess her.

But she couldn’t bring herself to lose face and admit it. She could only resort to harsh words to find a “legitimate” excuse: “You just happen to have a pretty face and some beauty. Even if I haven’t had enough, I do not like you.”

Ming Yishu’s eyes began to sting again. In her past life, it was because of this face that she had suffered so much harassment and torment. Having it mentioned now caused that helplessness and pain to surge back into her heart.

She bit down resentfully on the web of Jiang Qionghua’s hand between the thumb and forefinger, tears falling uncontrollably.

Jiang Qionghua winced from the pain. As her hand was bitten firmly, she pinched the other woman’s delicate face. “I’m praising you, and you’re actually feeling aggrieved?”

Ming Yishu’s heart was in immense pain. Her tears fell onto the back of Jiang Qionghua’s hand, sliding down the skin—

Jiang Qionghua frowned.

How could this person cry like this?

She couldn’t quite understand it, but Ming Yishu’s tear-streaked face was indeed pitiable. No matter how hardened her heart was, she couldn’t help but feel a pang of sympathy.

She was several years older than the girl. Bullying her usually didn’t matter, but making someone cry in bed like this was hardly a glorious feat. It would be better to coax her, make her happy, so she would cooperate better.

“Don’t cry. I was lying to you.” Jiang Qionghua pulled over a thin quilt and wiped Ming Yishu’s tears. “Next time, I won’t praise you anymore, alright?”

Amidst her crying, Ming Yishu slowly relaxed her grip, leaving a ring of teeth marks on the back of Jiang Qionghua’s hand.

Jiang Qionghua’s brow twitched.

She suppressed her temper and didn’t explode. She even went so far as to pat Ming Yishu’s back to help her catch her breath.

“Are you done?” Jiang Qionghua waited for a moment and asked, “I am waiting for you.”

Ming Yishu’s eyelashes were wet, and the redness at the corners of her eyes likely wouldn’t fade for a long time. Having just finished crying, her eyes held a trace of dazed innocence; she still hadn’t fully recovered her emotions.

Jiang Qionghua waited, and then realized something rather troublesome—she seemed to really like seeing Ming Yishu cry. It was simply too captivating.

Support Waiting for You for a Long Time, But You Haven’t Arrived