Waiting for You for a Long Time, But You Haven't Arrived - Chapter 22

The familiar fingers fell into her hair once more. Jiang Qionghua breathed a sigh of relief in contentment. She grasped Ming Yishu’s slender arm, the water from her fingers dampening the other’s sleeve. “Use more strength.”

“Any more strength and it would hurt,” Ming Yishu replied in a low, slow voice, her eyelashes drooping as she watched her intently. “The current pressure is just right; it happens to soothe the pain of your headache.”

“Mhm.” Jiang Qionghua looked back, catching only a glimpse of the corner of the other’s robe. “Yishu, I have something I want to tell you.”

Ming Yishu said she was listening.

“Though it might be better to keep it from you, I do not wish for you to view me as a faithless, moody madwoman. If the two of us wish to return to how we were at the start, there are things you must know.” Jiang Qionghua thought for a moment, still willing to believe one more time, to entrust her trust. “I was indeed overly sensitive and suspicious some time ago, but there is a reason for it. Come closer, I will tell you a secret.”

Ming Yishu knelt by the edge of the pool, leaning her body down to listen.

“I was once trusted by someone without reason. That person followed me for ten years, then unhesitatingly tried to kill me. I was sent to prison by her and nearly died. After I came out, I never dared to trust anyone again. Many years have passed, and I still do not sleep soundly, fearing someone will suddenly betray me. This suspicious appearance of mine… I find it disgusting myself, but such is the reality. No matter how much I loathe myself, I can only continue to live this way. You… do not despise me.”

Perhaps the water in the warm pool was a bit hot; Jiang Qionghua unknowingly bared her scar once more. It didn’t feel painful, but it was quite embarrassing.

As soon as she finished speaking, she felt it was meaningless—better left unsaid.

She didn’t dare look at Ming Yishu again, silently sinking her body into the water, her heart racing as she waited for Ming Yishu’s reaction.

“So that is how it was…”

Mixed emotions surged through Ming Yishu. She hadn’t expected such a reason. No wonder the other was always afraid of her betrayal; whenever such boundaries were touched, there would be a massive reaction. She thought, this was a post-traumatic stress response. Putting herself in the other’s shoes, was she not the same? Fearing the harassment of villains, fearing being abandoned, fearing being alone and trapped…

They were actually the same kind of people.

In her eyes, Jiang Qionghua had always been powerful and cold, like a solitary peak standing thousands of feet high without support; no one could truly hurt her. She hadn’t expected that one day, the other would be willing to reveal the scars on her heart just to coax her into not being angry anymore.

Ming Yishu felt pained for her. Even though the other had only mentioned it briefly, she could still empathize with that pain because she detected the tension Jiang Qionghua hid beneath the mist.

Would such a proud person bow her head to show her scars to another?

“Ming Yishu?”

Jiang Qionghua waited for a long time without receiving a reply. Her heart was filled with both regret and panic. She felt she was so naive, actually saying such things to a junior. Only the weak show their scars to others; she didn’t actually need to.

“Just act as if I said nothing.”

Jiang Qionghua sighed softly, her fingers splashing the water to break the silence.

Ming Yishu: “Once the words are spoken, they cannot be taken back.”

Jiang Qionghua: “So what? My word is law; you must listen to me.”

Though she spoke thus, Jiang Qionghua was barely holding onto her pride. She irritably flicked the water droplets from her fingers, not knowing what she was contending for. Was she, a person of such age, still waiting for Ming Yishu to give the answer she wanted? How childish.

Jiang Qionghua herself didn’t know what kind of answer she wanted to hear. She was just annoyed—the kind of annoyance born of embarrassment. But she wouldn’t lose her temper at Ming Yishu; she could only churn the water to vent.

Ming Yishu reached out and took her hand. She hadn’t expected the usually mature and powerful Jiang Qionghua to have such a side. Or perhaps, because she had always liked her, even when the other acted so out of character, she felt her heart skip a beat.

Jiang Qionghua finally couldn’t hold back. She said displeasedly, “Do you have nothing to say to me?”

“I do.” Ming Yishu leaned down, pulling her to the closest part of the pool’s edge, whispering in her ear, “I have safely stored away Auntie’s secrets.”

Like the rewards she used to treasure, locked away in a box, they would always remain in her heart, hidden from others.

“I want you to forget them.”

The breath by her ear was exceptionally alluring amidst the swirling mist. Jiang Qionghua’s vision was hazy; it felt as if a frost-covered breeze had brushed past her ear. Ming Yishu was very close. Through the indistinct mist, the two were as intimate as if they were nuzzling.

How could this not make one think too much?

Not long ago, Jiang Qionghua had secretly kissed her. The throbbing in her heart was at its peak. She felt as if she had grown ten years younger, as if she had reached the age of first love—her words and actions carrying a sense of pure, innocent recklessness.

This made it somewhat difficult for her to handle herself. She couldn’t tell if it was shame, annoyance, or a helpless feeling toward her own lack of resolve.

Perhaps this was falling in love. No matter how cold or ruthless a person was, they couldn’t escape it. Jiang Qionghua lamented her own weakness; Ming Yishu only had to lean in slightly, and she was drowned in the other’s scent, not wanting to leave.

This had to be Ming Yishu’s fault.

Jiang Qionghua thought: the other always looked at her with such affectionate, deep-seated gazes. With that gentle sight present at all times, any ordinary person would drown in it.

Who was she? She was Ming Yishu. Her appearance and temperament seemed to be tailored exactly to her own preferences. It was not surprising at all that she would eventually indulge in this gentle land.

“Auntie, is the water hot? You’ve turned completely red.”

Ming Yishu didn’t say where, but this was even more thought-provoking.

“Don’t call me that anymore. I think perhaps you could change the form of address.” Jiang Qionghua wanted to make her hers, rather than continuing to interact with her under the excuse of a benefactor or elder.

Ming Yishu didn’t hear clearly: “What?”

Jiang Qionghua assumed the other was doing it on purpose, so she turned her head and glared with half-feigned reproach: “Are you doing that intentionally, Ming Yishu?”

Ming Yishu truly hadn’t heard clearly. Just as she was about to explain, she met Jiang Qionghua’s eyes through a layer of mist. That look was different from before—cold, glamorous, and coquettish. Such magnificent beauty, without any pretense, made Ming Yishu lose her words with a single glance.

She liked this person far too much. Even if she suppressed it daily in her heart, she couldn’t withstand the other’s provocation. There was love in the other’s eyes at this moment. Ming Yishu didn’t even dare to think in that direction; she feared it was her own wishful thinking, feared that years of suppression had made her go mad, which was why she had such unrealistic fantasies.

After all, she had been mad. In her dreams, she often desired this person, and not long ago upon waking, she couldn’t distinguish between reality and dream for a moment. She could feel the temperature and lingering tenderness of the lips and tongue. When the touch felt too real, Ming Yishu would only think she had gone mad.

“Since you woke up, you’ve become much more silent.”

Jiang Qionghua realized this. She found that Ming Yishu was always spacing out when facing her, not knowing what she was thinking. Her expression was indifferent and low, completely lacking the pure devotion she once had.

It was just a small fallout; she was far too difficult to coax.

Jiang Qionghua had never coaxed anyone; she truly found it hard to understand. She believed she had already bared her heart to the other; could the other still not return to how things were at the start?

“I don’t know either,” Ming Yishu said. “I don’t know why it’s like this.”

She might be ill, ill since her past life. When she was fragile, there was no one to save her. She used to rely on pets to alleviate that loneliness. During the six years before entering the book, she could stay by Jiang Qionghua’s side to ease that solitude. But the events of those few days were too hurtful. Many pains came quickly and urgently; she couldn’t understand or digest them all at once, which was likely why she was like this.

The wound on her back had not yet healed, and her heart ailment had only temporarily spared her life. This body full of injuries and illness was indeed unappealing. Ming Yishu tried her best to suppress the physical pain and forced a smile.

“It’s alright. I haven’t rested well these past few days. I’ll be fine in a few more days.”

“That’s true.” Jiang Qionghua thought about it. The other had injuries on her shoulders and back, and her heart ailment seemed quite serious. Not long ago, they had clashed many times; with such ups and downs in mood, it was understandable to feel exhausted.

There was always an empty spot in Jiang Qionghua’s heart, an indescribable discomfort. She vaguely felt she should talk more with Ming Yishu, so she found another topic: “I told you my heart’s concerns. Should you not also let me hear what you are thinking?”

“Alright.”

Ming Yishu lowered her head to wash her hair. In silence, she took a single strand of the other’s dark hair. Every time she washed the other’s hair, she would take a strand to hide away. Day after day, year after year, she kept them in the most hidden place in her room, braiding them together with her own into a knot of concentric hearts.

As if they were a couple tied by their hair.

These years of affection had grown silently. With her beloved within reach, it was hard for Ming Yishu not to restrain herself from doing some obscure things. She knew it wasn’t good, but she really couldn’t help it.

“I often dream during the day, and inevitably think too much after waking. Some nightmares are etched into my bones; I can never forget them. Does Auntie want to hear?”

It wasn’t anything particularly important, and Ming Yishu didn’t necessarily have to say it. But since Jiang Qionghua had revealed her heart like that, she ought to tell her own heart’s concerns to the other as well. That year when she encountered the troublesome thugs, she had also been injured to protect herself. That was the first time she had such a major conflict with someone; the sadness and loneliness in her heart were all swallowed alone.

“Don’t call me that.” Jiang Qionghua was unwilling to hear Ming Yishu address her that way at this moment. She said, “I permit you to call me by my name.”

Ming Yishu was just thinking about how to mention the past to her, but suddenly hearing the other say such a sentence, a burst of brilliant fireworks instantly went off in her heart. To say she wasn’t shocked would be a lie.

“Qionghua…” Ming Yishu didn’t even know how she opened her mouth. She was rarely this dull; even her voice was trembling, filled with uncertainty.

Did she hear correctly?

Because of extreme nervousness, Ming Yishu’s fingertips turned icy cold in an instant. She was still washing the other’s hair; the wet hair seemed to be enticing threads of love, entangling her, making her eyes lose focus on where to land.

“Mhm.”

Jiang Qionghua gave a soft response and rose slightly. The wet hair slid from Ming Yishu’s fingers, falling back into the pool. Jiang Qionghua casually pulled Ming Yishu’s hand toward her and placed a kiss—not a particularly romantic one—on the side of her finger.

It was real.

Ming Yishu’s cheeks instantly flushed crimson, she felt shy from head to toe.

She thought, the other’s meaning…

“Look at you, so easily flustered.” Jiang Qionghua leaned on the edge of the pool, laughing as she looked at her. Seeing the other’s starstruck appearance, she found it quite interesting. Clearly, not long ago when she wanted to lay hands on her, she had pushed her away so resolutely; why had she turned into a shy young girl again now?

Jiang Qionghua didn’t quite understand. When she had once witnessed Ming Yishu secretly kissing her fingertips, she thought the other had developed other feelings for her. So when she woke the next day, she wanted to try being intimate with the other. Who would have thought she pushed too hard and even made the person cry.

“Why aren’t you crying now?” Jiang Qionghua tilted her chin up, leaning in to tease her. “You should continue to push me away.”

Ming Yishu took a deep breath, feeling her heart finally settle back into her chest. With a years-long wish fulfilled, her joy was excessive; she wished she could immediately take the person before her into her arms.

But she didn’t do so. Firstly, she wasn’t sure if the other was willing; secondly… Ming Yishu’s gaze shifted downward. Following the other’s thin, wet clothes, she saw the other’s extremely mature curves.

Support Waiting for You for a Long Time, But You Haven’t Arrived