To the Man Destined to Kill Me - Chapter 91
A few days after the ball, Noah found another opportunity to sneak into the White mansion.
Thanks to Scarlett finding a fabric accessory merchant, he disguised himself as a merchant to get inside.
He changed his face in the mirror as he calmed his emotions. He killed his hopes, suppressed his anger, and swallowed his trembling.
Even though it was clear she had abandoned him, it felt ridiculous that he still had such feelings. Still, he excused her, thinking there might have been another reason, and finished preparing to leave.
“No information came out?”
“Yes. Cravitz strictly controlled everything, so we couldn’t dig any deeper.”
“Alright. I’ll confirm it myself anyway, so that’s good enough. Good work, Peter.”
Today, he had the face of a servant who used to wait on him when he lived in Natalia. Holding a sample box for fabric accessories, he climbed onto a shabby carriage they had prepared.
The carriage rolled quickly, and after Noah sighed several times, they arrived.
“Phew.”
Seeing the White mansion during the day gave a different feeling from his last visit at night.
He thought maybe it was because this was his first official visit. As he walked toward the entrance, he spotted a familiar face.
‘Jack… That was his name.’
It was the man who had saved him from almost getting hit by a carriage last time.
Jack—whose real name was Andrew—was wearing a worn shirt and was personally tending the trees in the garden.
“Ja…”
Noah almost called him, but quickly shut his mouth when he realized he had a different face now.
Seeing Andrew’s skilled gardening work, which looked exactly like a professional gardener’s, Noah misunderstood and thought he was the White mansion’s gardener as he entered.
He could thank him properly later.
It was Marie who answered when Noah knocked on the White mansion’s door—a person he knew well.
Marie served Scarlett and had been someone Noah saw every day when Scarlett stayed at the villa.
Not recognizing Noah under his disguise, Marie guided him inside with a strict voice.
“This way, please.”
As Noah walked down the hallway following Marie, he heard a child’s laughter from outside.
Woof woof.
There were also the sounds of feet running through the grass, along with barking.
It must be that child named Teddy, Scott White’s illegitimate son.
Through a window in the hallway, he saw a small figure pass by and disappear.
All he could see was the round back of a head and reddish-blond hair, but just from the bright laughter, he could tell how loved the child was.
Scarlett must have raised that child with love, just like Isaac.
Just as she had affectionately called Isaac’s curly hair “croissant,” maybe she now called Teddy’s reddish hair “strawberry.”
Thinking this far, Noah had to clench his teeth hard.
His teeth ground together. Anger boiled up.
‘I didn’t entrust love to you. I know that.’
So he could understand that she had abandoned him. Maybe too many things had tangled between them.
But living so happily with her new family still felt like a deep betrayal. Especially when he remembered seeing her embracing Wilhelm Hoffman… it made her seem no different from a White.
How could she be so cruel? So cold-hearted?
“Ahem.”
Marie’s cough brought Noah back to his senses.
Realizing he had stopped in the middle of the hallway, staring out the window, Noah quickly followed Marie.
When they reached the parlor, a strange tension twisted in his stomach.
“The lady will be here shortly. Please wait a moment.”
Marie’s words barely registered in his ears.
Noah looked around the parlor with a flushed face. The wall decorations and the carpet patterns were beautiful enough to draw admiration, but he couldn’t see them properly.
Still, he clearly heard the faint sound of shoes approaching from outside.
Slow and soft. A sound he knew very well.
It was Scarlett’s footsteps.
‘Ah.’
His heart pounded wildly. His face felt hot. His chest tightened. He had to tense his body to stop his hands from shaking.
Even though he hated her so much, Noah instinctively cleared his throat.
Even if he wore another man’s face, he didn’t want to show her a pathetic side of himself.
The door opened. Blood roared through his veins, and it felt like his head would explode.
It was Scarlett. She walked in.
“Hello.”
She smiled at him as she greeted him. Noah could hardly believe it.
Red curly hair, gray eyes, pale skin… and a soft voice.
It was Scarlett. His Scarlett, for sure.
A heavy joy shot through his body like lightning.
His neck hair stood on end. It felt like time had stopped.
Noah barely managed to stammer a reply.
“H-hello.”
At his greeting, Scarlett smiled with her eyes.
She seemed like a completely different person. The face was the same, but the atmosphere had changed.
Most noticeable was that the sharp tension she once had, like she would tear apart at the slightest touch, was gone.
There was a new ease in her now.
Her eyes, once burning like a volcano of emotions, now shone peacefully. The smile on her lips was genuine, not mechanical.
And not just that.
Her complexion had improved so much. Her once pale cheeks were now rosy, and her voice had strength in it.
Seeing Scarlett looking so much healthier filled Noah with relief—and despair.
‘So just by removing me from your life, you could become this happy.’
She had become a fully bloomed flower—beautiful, elegant, and more radiant than ever.
And that broke his heart.
Because she looked so happy without him—Noah Ashford.
While he lived in hell without her, she finally seemed to find peace.
“Did you bring the fabric samples?”
“Uh… Yes, here they are.”
Noah hurriedly opened his bag and showed the samples.
Scarlett, thinking the clumsy merchant was just overwhelmed by the grandeur of the White mansion, checked the samples.
“Hmm, Marie. Come here and pick out a silk fabric.”
“Silk?”
“My youngest sister is getting married soon. I’ll buy it for her, so pick the best one. The better the fabric for a wedding dress, the better.”
“You really don’t have to…”
“Hurry up.”
Soon Marie sat next to Scarlett and looked through the fabrics with her.
Scarlett didn’t seem to be planning to pick carefully from the start. She simply checked all the samples she liked without asking Noah a single question.
“I’ll take everything here. Now, show me the laces and buttons.”
The fabrics Scarlett picked weren’t just for women’s dresses. Most were for men’s suits.
Noah thought they might all be for Wilhelm, and anger flared up. But he tried to rationalize it, thinking maybe they were for her brothers.
It was well-known that Aaron and Scott’s suits set the trend for men’s fashion in the capital.
“Mr. Carter?”
“Ah, yes. I’m sorry.”
Noah quickly pulled out the other samples he had brought.
He stole glances at Scarlett as she looked at the laces. Her gray eyes, which once seemed like they had burned into ashes, now sparkled beautifully.
She laughed brightly with Marie, talking about lace patterns. There wasn’t a single hint of worry in her laughter.
And when she habitually touched her hair… her unique scent floated over. But now, the scent of medicine was gone.
Because of that, something surged up to Noah’s throat.
‘I hate you. But I’m so glad you look healthy.’
He had dreamed so many times of seeing Scarlett free of illness. Her relationship with Wilhelm aside, just seeing her healthy was enough to move him deeply.
He had cursed himself countless times, trapped in guilt, thinking he had killed the woman he loved.
It had been a curse born from original sin. A never-ending nightmare he could never escape—a prison without end.
‘Scarlett. This isn’t a dream, right?’
Noah fought the urge to reach out and cup Scarlett’s cheeks. He wanted to touch her hair, kiss her forehead.
He wanted her scent and warmth to prove that this wasn’t an illusion.
Even this morning, he had doubted if this was real.
He had convinced himself it was a dream because he no longer had nightmares. That he had gone mad or was trapped in a dream.
‘It’s not a dream.’
He bit the inside of his cheek until it bled, and the taste of blood filled his mouth.
‘How are you alive?’
Why Wilhelm? Why had she lived like she was dead? Had she hated him that much? Was it to curse him?
His mind was tangled with countless questions when loud footsteps echoed down the hallway and the door burst open.
“Carly! What are you doing?”
A lively voice shattered his thoughts.
Scarlett jumped up to greet Teddy. She pulled out a handkerchief and wiped Teddy’s sweaty face.
“Did you finish playing?”
“Coco won’t play with me anymore. He ran to his house. When I opened the door to call him, he shut it with his mouth!”
“Coco’s tired, Teddy. He’s an old dog. He can’t play for long.”
“But I want to play with Coco.”
“Just wait a little. When you go to school soon, you’ll make lots of friends.”
Noah watched as Scarlett kissed Teddy’s forehead.
He didn’t even notice the curious look Teddy gave him; he could only stare at Scarlett.
Scarlett picked up Teddy and settled him on her hip.
“Marie, please finish up for me.”
Ah.
Noah swallowed the small sound that escaped between his teeth.
Watching Scarlett leave the parlor made his heart ache. He wanted to see her more.
But he couldn’t stop her. He was just a fabric merchant now.
“Please deliver the selected items to the mansion as soon as possible. This should be enough for payment.”
Noah stuffed the check Marie gave him into his pocket.
Although Marie was basically kicking him out, Noah pretended to leave and wandered inside the house instead, hoping he might catch a glimpse of Scarlett’s shadow.
Maybe his desperate wish worked.
On the second floor hallway, he bumped into Scarlett as she came out after putting Teddy to bed.
Noah hurried toward her without thinking.
He had no goal—he just wanted to be near her.
But once she stood right in front of him, he didn’t know what to say and stammered like a fool.
“Uh… um…”
Like a boy asking someone out for the first time, he hesitated, but nothing meaningful came out. Scarlett looked at him suspiciously.
“Is the money not enough?”
“No, it’s not that… It’s just… the amount seems too much…”
“Given how much I picked, it’s not too much at all. Well, fine. Could you spare a little time? There’s something I’d like to discuss.”
Noah’s eyes trembled fiercely. But he answered without any hesitation.
“Yes. Of course.”
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