To the Man Destined to Kill Me - Chapter 90

Bang!

A shell exploded right next to him. After the terrible noise, he went momentarily deaf.

Something long was hanging from a tree. With a dazed mind, he squinted his eyes to check it.

“……Sir!”

It was long and red. Could tree branches even be red?

“……Di……!”

He couldn’t understand. It was too big to be a flower.

“……Sir…….”

Andrew came to his senses when he heard someone calling him. Then he realized what he had been staring at.

It was a human’s intestines. The intestines of a soldier who had been hit by the shell were hanging long from the tree.

“Arghhh!”

Andrew rushed to a fallen soldier. The soldier, whose waist had been torn apart, was screaming desperately.

This was a battlefield. Seeing blood and torn flesh was a common thing. Yes, Andrew had become a soldier who was used to death.

“Please, save me. Save me.”

Andrew injected the wounded soldier, who was holding his hand tightly, with morphine.

All he could do was give an injection like this and close the eyes of the dead. That was all he could offer. In the midst of terrible helplessness, he thought:

‘God, where are you?’

If God really existed, why did a world filled with such dark despair have to exist?

He felt resentful toward everything he had believed in. As his faith crumbled, he woke up from his dream.

“Huff, huff, huh.”

Covered in sweat, Andrew grabbed a bottle of water and drank. It was the same nightmare he had been having for six years.

After being sent to the battlefield, he gave up the path he had wanted to follow. The battlefield was a place soaked with blood, filled with screams and groans.

When the blood flowed like a river and everything became quiet, the cries of crows would awaken his thoughts. He would never forget the smell of rotting flesh from that time.

“Damn it….”

He didn’t want to dream like this anymore.

Wiping away his cold sweat with running water, Andrew recalled his days at seminary. Whatever the reason he had entered seminary, he had enjoyed it very much.

Praying in deep silence and meeting God in loneliness had brought him quiet joy.

But at the battlefield he had gone to follow God’s will, Andrew couldn’t find his God anywhere.

“Damn it!”

He kicked the drawer as he pulled on a crisp, new outfit.

He had volunteered to go to the battlefield.

Since he had entered seminary to serve others anyway, he wanted to go to rough places where others hesitated to go.

He didn’t regret that choice. It was just, just… the nightmares were terrible.

Andrew checked the kitchen and realized there was only some dry bread left, so he got ready to go out.

Maybe because he had lived at a battlefield, he didn’t care much about food like before. He could eat old preserved food without problem and was used to hunger.

But this wasn’t the battlefield, so he needed to be mindful and eat properly. Bringing the shadow of war into daily life was not a good thing.

“Ah.”

It was just his luck—the restaurant he usually ate at was closed. He suddenly remembered that the owner had said they were going to visit their son living in the suburbs.

“Well, nothing I can do.”

Andrew, who had thought about going to the White mansion, decided instead to go see John since it was almost lunchtime. John’s law office was located near the parliament.

When Andrew dropped out of seminary and returned home, his family was in a mess. John was in conflict with their siblings, Scarlett was close to dying, and the other brothers were dealing with big and small injuries.

He had thought they would mature with age, but that had just been his hope.

“Maggie, long time no see.”

Andrew greeted Maggie, who used to be John’s secretary but had become a fellow lawyer, with a bright smile.

“Is John inside?”

“Yes. He doesn’t have any clients at the moment, so go ahead.”

“Oh, great timing. Oh, here, I brought this thinking of you. Drink it while you work. See you later.”

Andrew handed her the fruit juice he had bought on his way and knocked on John’s office door.

“It’s open. Come in.”

“Hey, John. It’s me.”

As Andrew peeked through the slightly open door, John welcomed his brother warmly.

Leaning against the doorframe, Andrew asked,

“Did you eat?”

At his question, John stood up and started tidying up his papers.

“Let’s go out. There’s a place nearby that makes really good lasagna.”

“Sounds good.”

Ten minutes later, the two sat down at a restaurant after placing their orders.

Trying to escape the piercing summer sunlight, they squeezed under a parasol and sipped their drinks while chatting.

“How have you been? You’ve lost a lot of weight.”

“Living alone, it’s not easy to eat properly.”

“Move back home.”

Andrew paused for a moment, then answered.

“I’m fine.”

“I still don’t get why you insist on living alone.”

“There’s no reason for grown brothers to all live together. By the way, how’s Amanda?”

“She’s been struggling with childcare, so we hired another nanny.”

John had moved into a house near the parliament, and he had a son the same age as Teddy. When John and Amanda left the family home six years ago, Amanda had been pregnant.

“His name is Thomas, right? Tommy will be starting school soon.”

“……Teddy, wasn’t it?”

“His full name is Theodore. Theodore White. But yeah, we call him Teddy.”

Andrew cheerfully explained in his usual lively way.

“He doesn’t really look like Scarlett, but he has a similar personality. Stubborn and proud. But he’s nicer and sweeter than Scarlett. Really cute too.”

“I see. How’s his health?”

“He had a check-up recently, and he’s very healthy. Actually, he’s developing faster than average, both physically and mentally. He’s calm and mild-tempered, so raising him isn’t too hard.”

Andrew chuckled, saying that finally the White family’s harsh temperament had been softened. John gave a faint smile and asked,

“Where did you get his name from?”

“Theodore?”

One of Theodore’s nicknames is Theo. And Noah’s fake identity had been Theo Gresham.

That fact bothered John a little.

“There’s a Theodore on our mother’s side, right? I don’t remember exactly, maybe a great-uncle? Anyway, he left an inheritance to Scarlett. I think she named him after him.”

“That makes sense.”

“By the way, how’s your treatment going?”

“I’m still taking my medication regularly.”

“Man, I told you to just focus on treatment and take a break from work.”

“Having work gives me the strength to keep going. I couldn’t bear doing nothing.”

John answered energetically, but even that sounded gloomy, and Andrew felt a sigh coming up.

John, who had been struggling for years, was finally diagnosed with depression recently. It seemed that keeping a secret alone for so long had been a heavy burden for him.

The conflict with their siblings had also been a huge wound.

“Seriously, the White family is so cold, don’t you think?”

He was talking about their other siblings, who had pretended not to know even after hearing about John’s depression.

Sometimes Aaron would visit John and have drinks and light chats with him, but Susan, Scott, and Scarlett were different.

The three of them acted like they had promised to forget about John, and that made him even more despondent.

It hadn’t been long since John found out about Teddy’s existence.

“Maybe we’ll hear good news from Aaron soon. You know Ginny Anderson, right?”

“Senator Samuel Anderson’s daughter?”

“Yeah. Things are going well between Aaron and her these days.”

“That’s an unexpected match. No wonder Mr. Anderson has been trying to arrange meetings lately.”

Just then, their food arrived. As Andrew poked his lasagna with his fork, he said,

“Everyone’s doing okay. Of course, there are a few worries, but who doesn’t have problems?”

Aaron was still hanging out with the mafia.

Susan was worried sick over Isaac going through a stormy adolescence.

Scott and Scarlett had their own worries too, but everyone lived with a worry or two. So Andrew didn’t worry about his siblings.

“So, John. I hope you get better too.”

Andrew’s calm and relaxed face didn’t look like someone who suffered from nightmares every night.

John opened his mouth slightly. Andrew patiently waited, encouraging him to speak if he wanted to. Finally, John said,

“I was really shocked when I heard Scarlett gave birth.”

“Oh, me too. She was barely an adult. I left school only to come home and hear that the youngest had become a mother. You have no idea how shocked I was.”

Andrew remembered Scarlett back then. Her skin was so pale it looked bluish, and she was painfully thin. But the saddest part was the dead look in her eyes.

That was not the Scarlett he knew. Andrew had found those lifeless eyes horrifying, without even a hint of her usual anger or irritation.

“Do you know who the baby’s father is?”

“No. She never told us.”

“How did she carry the baby for ten months in that condition….”

John’s voice trembled at the end of his sentence. He cleared his throat lightly to steady himself.

“It’s a miracle. Teddy is a miracle.”

Andrew explained everything to John, who didn’t know the whole story.

“Everyone said Scarlett would die. Even the doctors said there was no hope. They said she could barely take care of herself, let alone give birth. Susan even suggested an abortion, even though one of us had gone to seminary. I thought she would miscarry, and Scarlett was so furious about Susan’s suggestion that she swore never to see her again.”

“And Scarlett?”

“Scarlett said… she would carry the baby anyway. She said if she was going to die, she’d rather carry the baby until the end. Back then, she didn’t seem like a little girl anymore. She looked stronger than anyone.”

“I see…”

“But I guess she didn’t believe she would survive either. She even told us not to correct the fake news about her death and funeral.”

“Yeah. I remember. I was really shocked too. Thankfully Aaron gave me a heads-up.”

“Right. But Scarlett… ahem, yeah, a miracle happened.”

Every time Andrew saw Teddy, he felt the presence of God. A child who shouldn’t have been born was miraculously alive.

It was nothing but a miracle. So Andrew had offered a mass of thanks on the day Teddy was born.

‘Thank you for answering my prayer to save Scarlett. Thanks to you, I have witnessed the miracle that is Teddy.’

“Scarlett is healthy now. Not as much as other people maybe, but much better than before.”

“That’s good. Really good. Still don’t know how?”

“The healing mages don’t know either. Who cares? What matters is Scarlett didn’t die. The extent her heart healed is nothing short of a miracle. So, John. You idiot. Stop blaming yourself and be free.”

“Others say they don’t get why I’m so down just because I fought with my siblings. But Andy, you know what my brothers and sisters meant to me. They were a burden, but also the lighthouse and pillar that supported me. So… this situation… it’s a lot.”

“John. We’re adults now.”

“Yeah, adults. But to me, you were always the kids I had to protect. Especially Scarlett….”

Andrew pressed his eyes painfully.

Why are the damn Whites so bad at forgiveness?

He felt deep sorrow, knowing these cold-hearted people were his family, and said,

“If you’re thinking about making up with Scarlett… John, I’m sorry to say this but… she doesn’t need you anymore.”

The past six years had been a time for Scarlett to become independent. She had built her own life and become an adult.

Those six years meant exactly that.

Some lived trapped in nightmares, and some walked toward the future. That’s what had happened over all those years.

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