To the Man Destined to Kill Me - Chapter 60

It didn’t feel real.

Noah’s existence.

His tears, his apology—it all felt like something that had nothing to do with her.

Scarlett looked at his teary face for a moment, then lifted her hand to wipe his stained cheeks.

At her touch, Noah clung to her with desperate eyes. He pressed his face into her hand, terrified that her touch would leave him.

His bloodstained tears soaked Scarlett’s knees. Red marks clearly stained the hem of her clothes.

No words were needed. Nothing could comfort them, who had lost everything.

Noah’s gaze, filled only with Scarlett, was like that of a stray dog looking at its master. He was desperate. He was hopeless.

“Noah.”

Her voice was sunken, like a night where even the stars were hidden behind the clouds. She spoke in a flat tone.

“I hate you.”

There was nothing left to burn—everything inside her had already burned away. Her voice, more broken than ashes, was torn apart. It was painful just to hold her soul together.

“My parents chose you. They abandoned me and chose you.”

“I’m sorry. I’m sorry, Scarlett.”

Noah whimpered. His tears fell endlessly, burning hot.

He felt like he would die from fear. He was scared that Scarlett would leave him forever.

But even more terrifying was the thought that Scarlett would completely break and vanish like mist.

“They cared more about the peace Wifland and Natalia would gain through you. They thought you would be a great asset to our family.”

“I’m sorry. I’m sorry for everything. I’m sorry for hurting you. I’m sorry for even existing. Scarlett, but please… please…”

Please don’t look like you’re already dead.

She looked like she might vanish into smoke at any moment. Like her body could crumble apart any second.

Seeing Scarlett looking so broken, Noah burst into tears. The desperate sadness that came up from deep inside him was heartbreaking.

He was like a dog whining at the reflection of the moon on the water, unable to reach it, a helpless beast crying out as the night fell.

Scarlett looked down at him with empty eyes, watching him sob silently. Her clothes grew wet with his tears.

The pitiful sinner, begging for forgiveness, pressed his head against Scarlett’s knee, confessing his sins again and again.

“Stop.”

Even at her quiet command, Noah couldn’t stop crying.

“I said stop.”

Scarlett commanded again.

Her eyelids trembled. But still, he couldn’t stop his sadness. It was like a broken dam.

“Stop! Stop! Stop it!”

Scarlett screamed. She slapped Noah’s cheeks without mercy.

Slap. Slap. Slap.

Even though she was the one hitting him, Scarlett looked more pained. She flinched and squeezed her eyes shut. Just looking at Noah’s flushed, red cheeks was painful for her.

Scarlett seemed to suffer like someone who was about to die. She dropped heavy tears and shook her hand, the one she had used to slap him.

There was nothing left to break—then why did it hurt so much?

Beyond the pain, there was another kind of pain that shattered her body and soul into pieces. She crashed down completely.

“I said stop! Stop!”

At her scream, Noah stared at her in shock, forgetting even how to cry. It was like a taut string had been stretched to the point of snapping.

Noah was terrified of Scarlett, who had completely collapsed. He instinctively knew he might lose her forever.

So he tried to approach her and hug her tightly. To keep her from disappearing like mist, to stop her from fading away like smoke.

“Get away! I hate you! I hate you! I’ll never forgive you!”

Scarlett slapped his cheek again. But even then, Noah didn’t step back, and that frightened her even more.

Filled with fear and pain, she weakly pushed Noah’s shoulders. But Noah didn’t move back. He said no words of apology or excuse. He only stayed there, letting her hit him.

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry! I hate it! I’m so tired of it! Everyone just apologizes to me! Why? Why is everyone doing this to me? What did I do wrong?”

“…Scarlett…”

If your flame goes out, I’ll give you mine. If there’s no firewood left, I’ll even cut off my own arms to keep your fire alive.

Just don’t disappear. Don’t turn into ash.

“Scarlett… please—”

Scarlett cut Noah off sharply.

“Do you even know what you should really be sorry for?”

“I don’t know. How could I understand you? How could I ever guess? What else have I done wrong? Tell me. If you tell me, I’ll beg you with everything I have. I’ll plead. Just let me stay by your side.”

It was like she was looking at a ghost. Scarlett trembled and gasped for air. Her vision flickered white.

The one who held her up was Noah. He noticed her condition and grabbed her so she wouldn’t collapse. When she realized it was Noah holding her, Scarlett’s mind returned slightly.

“You killed me.”

With a faint groan, she poured out her anger.

“You killed me. Even though I begged you again and again not to, you cruelly, horribly killed me.”

Scarlett suddenly grabbed Noah’s neck. Her veins bulged, and the corners of her eyes throbbed with pressure.

Noah didn’t resist. He could have easily thrown her off with just one hand, without even using magic.

But for some reason, that hurt Scarlett even more. And so she screamed with all her strength.

“Every night, you kill me! When will it end? When will you finally let me go?”

What kind of dream was it that Scarlett kept having every night? Why did she suffer such nightmares?

Noah didn’t know about her dreams. But he knew his own true feelings now.

“If my death would make it easier for you, if killing me would make anything better for you, then go ahead. Kill me. If it’s for you, I’ll gladly die.”

Noah quietly closed his eyes, surrendering himself to her hands.

His calm attitude made Scarlett hate herself so much she trembled, feeling like she could die right there. She cried out in pain and shed heavy tears.

“…This… I’m telling you… to hate me.”

Her grip weakened. She stumbled back like someone suffocating, then collapsed on the floor, her legs giving out.

Hic.

She couldn’t breathe. She pounded her chest.

Maybe it would be better to die. If she had died earlier, maybe she wouldn’t have ended up like this.

Scarlett hated herself for surviving so desperately. She closed her eyes, giving up on breathing.

Yes, die. Die, Scarlett White.

Please, just die and end this miserable life.

She endured the pain of not breathing. Even when her fingernails broke from clawing at the floor, she endured the moment of dying.

Noah looked like he might die just watching her like that.

He quickly brought medicine to her lips, but Scarlett refused it. She kept her mouth tightly closed, and Noah desperately begged her.

“Please live. Scarlett, I’ll die if you want. I’ll do anything. Just live, Scarlett…”

He couldn’t just stand by and watch her die.

Noah forcibly pried her mouth open and pushed the medicine in. Scarlett twisted her body to resist, but she couldn’t overpower Noah’s strength.

After making sure Scarlett swallowed the medicine, Noah hugged her tightly, like he was afraid she would be swept away by a raging river.

“I’m sorry. I can’t give you up. So please, don’t die. Everything will get better… please live, Scarlett.”

His voice was full of warmth and tenderness.

It was something Scarlett had wanted so badly, something she could never easily get from her harsh brothers. She wanted to die from the sorrow.

Why did you have to be Noah Ashford?

Why did it have to be you?

Why couldn’t you hate me? Why couldn’t you blame me? If you did, I could hate you easily…

Huff, huff.

The medicine started working, and she was finally able to breathe. Scarlett felt her strength drain from her entire body.

She leaned into Noah’s arms and chest. His embrace was as warm as his feelings. It made her want to cry even more.

So warm, so kind…

“Don’t cry because of me.”

Noah whispered. He still patted her back gently, like comforting a small child.

His touch was so tender that Scarlett started crying again. She wiped her swollen eyes, then turned and hugged Noah’s neck tightly. His face crumbled at her gesture.

Scarlett’s tears soaked Noah’s shoulder. Her sobs tore at his heart. Her tears felt like they would melt his very skin.

It was all because of him. Yet, he still couldn’t give her up. He loved her like a beast showing unconditional loyalty to the first sun it ever saw.

“Don’t hold onto me.”

“I’m sorry, Scarlett.”

Scarlett sobbed softly. She clung to him like she was begging.

“Let me go. Why did you save me? I want to die.”

“Don’t say that. How could I give you up?”

Scarlett looked at Noah’s red, swollen cheek and the words she meant to say turned into something else.

“It must hurt a lot.”

She gently touched his cheek. She squeezed her eyes shut, unable to bear the sight of what she had done.

“I’m sorry, Noah.”

It was deep regret. Pure sincerity. Every word was filled with raw emotion. She hugged him tightly, her hands trembling.

“I’m sorry. I’m sorry for hitting you. I’m sorry for trying to kill you.”

Noah’s neck stiffened. He didn’t know what to do and his gaze wandered helplessly.

Scarlett, now crying like a child, wailed loudly.

“I’m sorry. You weren’t the one who killed me… it wasn’t you… I’m sorry I was too stupid to separate you from them… I just couldn’t… I couldn’t…”

“It’s okay.”

His voice was soaked with tears.

He truly meant it. He was satisfied just feeling her warmth in his arms.

She clung to him, but that was enough. She hadn’t died. That was enough.

“It’s okay. Don’t cry.”

Your crying sounds so sorrowful, like a child abandoned by the world. It feels like my heart will shatter.

Without letting go of her, Noah lifted Scarlett into his arms. She needed rest.

Scarlett buried her face in Noah’s neck and continued sobbing. Noah moved while patting her back.

When Scarlett was placed on the bed, she had no strength left and lay there limply. Noah sat beside her, patiently waiting for her to calm down.

“Noah. Stay with me.”

“I will.”

Noah lay down next to Scarlett. They faced each other, breathing heavily.

“I wish I wasn’t Scarlett White, and you weren’t Noah Ashford.”

“Don’t cry.”

“Will you abandon me too?”

“No. Never.”

“If I die, will you forget me?”

“I won’t be able to.”

“Then…”

“Scarlett. There are no ‘ifs.’ It’s meaningless. I like you. I love you. That feeling will never change.”

“…I wish you weren’t Noah. Then I could love you freely.”

Noah’s violet eyes trembled. His hand, which had been patting Scarlett, froze in the air. But Scarlett, not noticing, burrowed deeper into his arms.

“I… we…”

We are not siblings.

But those words felt too heavy for this moment.

Noah tightly hugged Scarlett.
Scarlett’s eyelids slowly closed.

Her chest felt heavy from the confession, making it hard to breathe. It was overwhelming, painful, and heavy. At the same time, a strange joy wrapped around her.

Only Noah could save her from the nightmare.
Only Noah’s love could rescue her from the secret future.

“I dare to love you,” Noah confessed again.

I love you.

Why was it so hard to say these simple words?

Under his arms that wrapped around her, she felt clear and real.
Scarlett’s scent mixed into Noah’s deep, low breaths.

“I couldn’t die because I loved you. You wished for my death… but I want to stay by your side… So I’ll protect you from everything that hurts you. You, and your final moment… let me protect them.”

Instead of answering, Scarlett pulled Noah’s neck toward her and hugged him tightly. Their eyes met.

Noah was hotter than ever before. And Scarlett looked lighter, like someone who had left all the heavy things behind.

There was no hatred or resentment in her.
Only pure feelings toward each other remained between them. Scarlett called it affection, and Noah called it love.

Just by exchanging glances, they could feel each other’s emotions clearly.
Then, in the moment when their feelings blended together, Noah carefully lowered his head and kissed Scarlett on the lips.

It was a slow and polite kiss, worried that Scarlett might dislike it.
Instead of rejecting him, Scarlett closed her eyes.

Their lips pressed together.
Noah felt something white and pure flow down his neck and back.
Their skin only touched lightly, but it was different from holding hands. Clear tears rolled down Scarlett’s cheek.

Noah slightly pulled back and lifted his lips.
Scarlett, in response, wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled him closer.
Hanging onto him, she pressed her lips against his again.

That became the signal for Noah’s long kiss to begin.
It was a deep and persistent kiss.

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