To the Man Destined to Kill Me - Chapter 55

Even with his face a mess, Noah went to Iodes as usual. Shamelessness was one of the things the rough life had taught him.

After school, he sat by the window where he could see the villa’s front gate and read a book. He organized his thoughts while waiting for Scarlett to return.

Many times a day, he wanted to go find Victor Lebedev. But his desire to know his roots wasn’t as strong as he thought. No matter whose son he was, Alex White had always been like a father to him. What Noah truly wanted was the truth.

“Damn truth.”

And the things Victor had said he deserved.

Until now, Noah had always believed he had to succeed on his own to rise in status. He never thought he might have a noble birth like the White kids. That’s why Victor’s whisper was such a sweet temptation.

“I don’t need it. I don’t need it, but…”

Noah believed he could succeed on his own. But right now, he needed success immediately.

Scarlett was getting weaker day by day, and a time would come when he would need great power to stay by her side. Her brothers would never allow him near her otherwise.

Clunk. Clunk.

A carriage rattled outside.

“Scarlett!”

Noah jumped up instinctively and ran out to greet her. She was getting off the carriage. Forgetting everything, even their last argument, he hurried over and greeted her.

“What happened? Didn’t you go to Nebelin?”

“You were the one who called me a coward running away.”

“Ah…”

“Forget it. We’ll talk later. I’m already annoyed because I couldn’t meet Andy since he was out.”

Scarlett threw her bag at Noah and went inside to sleep. She lay down right away but was too tired to fall asleep.

“Damn it.”

She rummaged through her medicine box and realized she was out of sleeping pills and sleep aids. Annoyed, she threw the box across the room. At the noise, the maid, Marie, came running.

“You’re back earlier than planned, miss. Did something happen?”

“I’m just annoyed. Of all days, Andy came to visit when I went to Nebelin. We missed each other and I wasted time on the road.”

“So that’s why you came back early?”

“No… I also met one of Mother’s friends.”

“Your mother’s friend?”

“She said I look a lot like Mother. My voice, my eyes, even my body shape.”

“You must’ve been happy to hear that.”

“Did I inherit her personality too?”

“Miss…”

Marie looked sadly at Scarlett, who was filled with endless longing.

“She said Mother was active and brave. She was the one who confessed first to Father. She even forgave him when he made a drunken fool of himself before they were married. I’m nothing like that. Who do I even take after?”

“…Did something happen?”

“I want to die soon. Then at least I won’t have to worry anymore.”

“Please don’t say that.”

“You know… I… I don’t know who Noah really is.”

She desperately wanted revenge, but now she had to admit the truth. The Noah who had killed her, and the Noah with her now, were different.

Because of that, her revenge felt like hurting an innocent person, and guilt weighed on her. It confused her, as if she were trying to kill someone who had done nothing wrong.

Just like Isaac had gotten sick instead of Abigail, the future had already changed. She was sure that the future where Noah killed Isaac and her would never happen.

And that made her afraid of the choice she now faced.

If she gave up revenge, what about the wounds caused by her death?

“Do you hate Noah?”

“It would be normal to hate him.”

“No, there must be a reason you don’t hate him. That makes your feelings valid.”

Scarlett’s face twisted like she was about to cry.

“I’m going to sleep. Please close the door when you leave.”

“Rest well.”

Left alone, Scarlett rolled around in bed, lost in thought.

‘Just once. Just one time…’

She decided to give Noah a chance. Just once. Only once.

Once she made up her mind, it was easy. She immediately got up and climbed the stairs. She went straight to Noah’s room in the attic. Before she could even knock properly, the door opened from inside.

“Scarlett?”

Noah invited her in.

“I have something to say.”

“What is it?”

“Just for one day.”

“Huh?”

“Let’s go on a date for just one day. Forget the Whites, forget the Ashfords, and just be with me for one day.”

“…”

Noah’s mouth opened slightly in shock. His twitching cheeks showed just how much he was overwhelmed.

Tears welled up in his eyes, but he smiled gently. Then he knelt in front of her and reached out his hand. He looked like a knight presenting his victory to a lady after winning a tournament.

“Scarlett.”

Hearing Noah call her name sent shivers down Scarlett’s whole body. Strange joy and deep emotions ran along her spine.

“Will you go on a date with me? I’ll make it a perfect day.”

Without hesitation, Scarlett answered. And Noah smiled like he had gained the whole world.

Noah woke up early the next morning and wore the best clothes he had. He brushed his yellow hair neatly and cleared his throat.

Scarlett was no different. She let down her red hair and looked like any other girl her age. She wore her favorite shoes and a white dress that matched her fair skin.

“Hm. Hm.”

Hearing her footsteps, Noah’s ears turned red. His heart thumped along with the sound of her heels. He couldn’t believe this moment was real.

That he could stand in front of her not as an Ashford, but just as Noah, felt more unreal than a dream.

“Noah.”

At her call, Noah turned around reflexively. When he saw her, he lost his words. Blushing shyly, Scarlett looked so beautiful. She was more dazzling than at the fancy party. And today, her time belonged to Noah.

“You’re beautiful.”

“Only beautiful?”

“Gorgeous.”

Noah fought to hold back a big smile and reached out his hand.

“Let’s go.”

Scarlett placed her hand on his. Carefully, Noah interlaced their fingers. Scarlett didn’t pull away. Just that made his chest so full it was hard to breathe.

He felt like he was about to cry. His heart raced so hard it could burst.

In the carriage to town, an unusual awkwardness filled the air. But it wasn’t a bad thing. It was the tension of two people very aware of each other, seeing each other as man and woman.

“Ahem. Is there anything you want to do or eat?”

At Noah’s question, Scarlett flinched slightly. She kept her eyes fixed on the floor, too shy to look up.

This isn’t like me, she thought. But she couldn’t help it. Her heart pounded so hard she was afraid it would give her away.

“Um. What about you?”

“I… I want to do a lot of things with you.”

“Like what? I don’t know what to do.”

“I want to watch a play, go to a café, eat your favorite food, and take a walk under the sun.”

“Let’s do one thing at a time.”

“Yeah…”

Unlike usual, they didn’t push their opinions or emotions onto each other.

They kept stealing glances. Scarlett fidgeted with her fingers while Noah secretly watched her hands.

‘Are you feeling the same way I do?’

Even if their feelings weren’t exactly the same, that was okay. As long as they were similar, he could match her. Just being together made him happy. He thought that was enough.

But now, he grew greedy.

He wanted to hold her hand, meet her eyes, kiss her lips, feel her warmth. More than anything, he wanted her to return his feelings.

He wanted her to love him back, to give him the unstoppable love he felt for her.

‘I love you. Scarlett, I love you. I hope my love can be forgiven.’

He still remembered the feeling of her small hand in his.

“Scarlett.”

“Mm…”

“Thank you for giving me a chance.”

“It’s just one day. Don’t you hate the idea of false hope?”

“It’s a day I wasn’t allowed to have. A forbidden time.”

“…Won’t you regret it after today?”

“There won’t be such a moment. What about you? You might regret your choice.”

“I…”

Scarlett carefully chose her words. She didn’t have an answer. She hadn’t thought about regret. She had only thought about her own emotions and her endless nightmares.

“I have nightmares every day. The same person kills me every night.”

“I know. You talk in your sleep a lot.”

“I can’t forgive that person. But it’s just a dream. It hasn’t really happened yet. So there’s no need to be afraid. Right?”

She said that not only to Noah but also to herself.

“We’ll think about it when the time comes. What matters is that even if I feel sad about my choice later, I won’t regret it. I’ve thought it through, and this is the best I can do. I know I’m not thinking straight. You… you…”

Scarlett’s voice shook with uncertainty. She looked confused.

“Liking you… it’s crazy. But then again, dreaming those nightmares is crazy too. Being alive like this is crazy. Not everything in the world can be explained by logic…”

Inside the rattling carriage, Noah knelt in front of her. He looked up and gently held her trembling hands. His thumbs softly brushed the back of her hands. Slowly, very slowly, her shaking stopped.

“Let’s focus on the present, Scarlett.”

On their current feelings. On each other.

Even without him saying it, Scarlett understood the words Noah had swallowed. So she nodded and smiled.

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