To the Man Destined to Kill Me - Chapter 32

It was natural for Scarlett to get angry at Noah’s words.

Share her pain? When he couldn’t even understand it?

Noah groaned and buried his face in the blanket. He couldn’t fall asleep. The emotion that filled Scarlett at that moment was clearly anger and hatred. Noah admitted that what he said was arrogant.

How could he dare to understand Scarlett’s pain?

He had never had a heart attack like she did, nor had he ever needed medicine just to breathe. Yet it was because of him that her health had become so weak.

And that wasn’t all. Even though he had been poor, his mother was alive, and he grew up with plenty of love. From Scarlett’s point of view, it was enough to make her blood boil.

“Ah.”

Noah bit his nails just like Scarlett did. He was afraid she would never show her face to him again.

If it was anyone else, it would be impossible. But Scarlett could do it. In their relationship, she was the one holding the knife.

She might push him away because of this. What if she didn’t want him anymore…?

Noah trembled with anxiety all night. He couldn’t sleep, crushed by the desire to at least see Scarlett’s face.

“Scarlett…”

He even wanted to wander in front of her room. Maybe then he could feel what Scarlett was feeling.

Sitting with his back against her door, Noah imagined Scarlett beyond it, sitting alone in the old attic.

It was a sorrowful night, longing, fear, and tenderness mixing together like moonlight hidden behind clouds.

After staying up all night, Noah nervously went down to the dining room. He desperately hoped Scarlett wasn’t still angry. His heart was pounding as he opened the door.

“Noah. Since you’re standing there, bring me the yogurt.”

“Ah, okay.”

Noah quickly handed her the yogurt, sneaking a glance at her. She looked like she had completely forgotten about yesterday. Scarlett poured yogurt into a bowl and mixed in five kinds of fruit.

“If Susan saw this, she would have told me to eat something else too. Like boiled beans or spinach. But that’s the good thing about living on your own—you don’t have to.”

Strictly speaking, it wasn’t true independence, but Noah quietly listened to her playful words.

“Going to Iodes is the same. No Marie telling me what to do, no nagging Susan, no Aaron with his cigarette smell. Sweet freedom.”

Scarlett quickly finished her yogurt and stole a glance at Noah.

‘I want to share your pain.’

Of course, Scarlett hadn’t forgotten what happened yesterday. If anything, she remembered it more vividly than anyone. The anger she felt then was still burning in her chest.

But when she looked at Noah’s foolish face, it was hard to believe that the murderer Noah she remembered and the foolish Noah Ashford in front of her were the same person. Her anger started to feel empty.

Noah didn’t even remember killing her. Only Scarlett had experienced that. Maybe it was just a dream or a terrible imagination.

So the pain and fear from the moment she died scattered like an illusion. Left only with the faded afterimage, she wondered what she should do. How could she let go of the memories she held?

“That’s why I’m going to Iodes today. Isaac is awake now, and we can’t stay locked up forever. It’s time to enjoy the greatest freedom of my life. It’s as sweet as this yogurt.”

How could Noah say no to her when she spoke like that? He nodded while tearing off a piece of bread.

Meanwhile, even though Scarlett had filled the yogurt with her favorite fruits, she had no appetite. Because of her strong medicine, she forced herself to eat, but it didn’t taste good.

Noah quickly noticed her condition.

“Scarlett, are you feeling sick?”

“I don’t have an appetite.”

Finally, she put down her spoon and washed the dryness from her mouth with water.

Actually, like Noah who stayed up all night, Scarlett also couldn’t sleep easily.

Her heart was unsettled. The Noah she knew and the Noah before her felt like completely different people. Her hatred and anger started to feel smaller and weaker.

The reason for her revenge was disappearing, and only a pathetic Scarlett White remained. That made her feel both bitter and sad.

It was lonely to remember a future only she knew. She was confused, not knowing what to do with the complicated emotions she felt between the two Noahs.

“What are you thinking about?”

In the carriage to Iodes, Noah asked. Scarlett covered her mouth and yawned lightly.

“Nothing.”

A lie.

Noah knew she was lying but pretended not to notice. Scarlett stared out the window, looking obviously troubled.

He worried all the way there, wondering if she was still upset about yesterday. When they finally arrived in Iodes, the carriage stopped, and Noah spoke.

“I have something to do. You go in first.”

“Something to do?”

“I’m going to the library.”

It was a lie. He was actually planning to go to the Wizard’s Association to look for information.

Noah felt a strange mix of hoping Scarlett wouldn’t notice his lie—and wanting her to see right through it.

“Okay. See you later.”

Scarlett sent him off casually. For a moment, she felt Noah’s gaze brush her, but she didn’t mind.

Everything in Iodes felt unfamiliar after so long. Then, she ran into Wilhelm. They had overlapping classes.

Scarlett tried to ignore him and pass by, but Wilhelm spoke first.

“I heard you were sick… Are you okay?”

“…Are you still mad?”

“Me? I’m fine. What about you? I was worried about you.”

“I have enough room in my heart to forgive you for getting mad. And it wasn’t me who was sick—it was my nephew.”

“Is your nephew okay?”

“Of course. I’ll protect him.”

“That’s a relief.”

When Wilhelm smiled warmly, Scarlett gave him a faint smile in return. Her face softened beautifully.

“Glad you’re better.”

“You must have missed me a lot, speaking in Hiberk language like that. It’s a good sign.”

“You’ve gotten a lot cheekier since I last saw you.”

“Maybe because it’s been a while since I came to Iodes. I must be made for school life.”

Scarlett giggled and sat down on a bench. Since the weather was chilly, Wilhelm took off his jacket and draped it over her shoulders.

Scarlett accepted it like it was the most natural thing, as if she had always been cared for like this. She didn’t even think about whether Wilhelm was cold.

They talked while watching the falling leaves. Their conversation touched on many things—about their many siblings, schoolwork, and even the sandwiches at the school cafeteria.

When it was time for class, Noah came back to school. He had failed to find any information about his mother at the Wizard’s Association. From a distance, he saw Scarlett and Wilhelm sitting together.

She was smiling. It wasn’t stiff or mischievous, just a natural, beautiful smile—like a cosmos flower blooming along a fall road.

“No…”

Noah realized he could never make Scarlett smile like that. He ignored the volcano boiling inside him. If he started recognizing it, he wouldn’t be able to stop.

“Don’t smile like that…”

Scarlett had let Wilhelm into her circle. To Noah, Scarlett was someone irreplaceable. But she could push him away at any moment—and someone else could take his place.

Noah’s bright blue eyes darkened. A black fire spread inside them. Like sparks flying, hot and dangerous. Like something frozen during the day, now cracking.

He had no intention of sharing Scarlett with anyone.

When class ended, Noah ended up eating lunch with Scarlett and Wilhelm. He naturally sat between them, making sure not to seem awkward.

But from Noah’s point of view, they were far too close.

Was having many siblings really enough to make them bond so easily? Was Scarlett really that happy just because she could speak Wilhelm’s Hiberk language?

But Noah hid all his bitter feelings. He stayed by Scarlett’s side like a faithful shadow, bringing her blankets, handing her water bottles, helping her study like a devoted servant.

“I studied this, but I can’t remember anything,” Scarlett said, biting into a sandwich with eggs inside. Her knitted eyebrows showed how much she hated economics.

It was almost funny how someone who was a shareholder at White Bank could find economics so boring.

“I don’t know why Gregory Howard even wrote a book like this. This kind of subject should disappear.”

Scarlett chewed her sandwich without realizing she had crumbs around her mouth. Wilhelm pointed at his own lips and said,

“Scarlett. Here.”

When Scarlett brushed the wrong side of her mouth, Wilhelm reached out his hand like he was taking care of a younger sibling.

But before he could touch her, Noah quickly wiped the crumbs from Scarlett’s lips first. If someone wasn’t paying attention, they might think it was just a coincidence.

Wilhelm’s eyes briefly flickered to Noah.

Noah’s rough fingertips, hardened from hard labor, brushed her soft skin. He moved stiffly, holding back his trembling, almost reverently. His tanned skin touched her pale one.

“Ah.”

Scarlett leaned her face back slightly. Noah withdrew his hand.

“Sorry.”

Scarlett’s gray eyes looked at Noah, her feelings burning like smoke rising from a hidden flame.

“…It’s fine.”

A subtle tension settled between them, a sharp, sensitive air. Then Scarlett spoke.

“Noah. Don’t you ever think about falling in love?”

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