To the Man Destined to Kill Me - Chapter 19

After the weekend, Scarlett, as usual, rode the carriage with Noah to school at Iodes.

She was well aware of the hostile gazes directed at her, but not once did she flinch. Gossip had no effect on her.

“Don’t let what people say get to you.”

Noah, too, had little interest in rumors and idle chatter. But he couldn’t ignore the fact that Archer Davidson seemed to be plotting revenge against Scarlett.

“Scarlett. Let’s not separate for a while.”

“I’m fine now.”

“I’m still uneasy. And… sorry.”

He had to protect her until they figured out what Archer was planning.

Meanwhile, Scarlett, unaware of Archer’s intentions, thought Noah was still hung up on the kidnapping incident.

“No need. Anyway, didn’t you say Professor Diego called for me? During lunch, right?”

“Yeah.”

“Let me guess. He’s going to buy me lunch and scold me the whole time.”

Scarlett frowned. Even she admitted her class behavior had been poor, and she could already feel a headache coming at the thought of the impending lecture.

“Go on. You’ve got questions for him, haven’t you?”

She noticed the edges of Noah’s book were folded in several places. Despite how much time they spent together, he still found time to study ahead.

Scarlett had to admit Noah was diligent.

He possessed a kind of drive and warmth she herself lacked. He lived with intensity and affection.

Scarlett envied that. It was something she couldn’t find in herself, something she could never hope for.

For her, even surviving the day was a struggle. If that counted as “living fiercely,” then perhaps she was—but the ordinary efforts most people took for granted were something she could only yearn for.

“Go on.”

“It’s fine. I don’t have to go.”

“I have something to talk to Wilhelm about. Go.”

It was an excuse she made up on the spot, but Noah seemed to sense that Scarlett needed some space, so he hesitated briefly before heading to the professor’s office. Conveniently, their first class was a liberal arts course taught by Wilhelm.

Scarlett headed to class alone. Just before turning the corner in the hallway, she heard her name in a conversation and stopped.

“I thought she didn’t attend class anymore, so she wouldn’t be doing club activities either. But she’s in the same club as White, right? They seem close—can you introduce me?”

“That’s only if she wants to. It’s not up to me. If you’re interested, go talk to her yourself.”

“What are friends for? I’ll trade you an invitation to Zephywood.”

“Sorry. I’ve got class. I’ll see you around.”

It was Wilhelm’s voice. Scarlett stepped right into the conversation without hesitation.

“Do I look like someone who’s worth no more than a Zephywood invitation? And what do you think White is, exactly? If you want a connection with him, you’d better bring something better. White isn’t a name you toss around lightly.”

Snapping sharply, Scarlett then gestured at Wilhelm with her chin.

“What are you doing? Get inside already.”

Wilhelm, caught off guard, followed her. Before opening the classroom door, Scarlett looked him straight in the eye.

“Aren’t you going to apologize? You butted into someone else’s family business.”

“I am sorry about that. But I still think what you did was awful.”

“You still don’t understand Wifland, do you?”

“Maybe I just don’t understand you. No one deserves to be treated like that.”

“Even if they’re the person who killed your family?”

“…What?”

“I’m kidding. Idiot.”

Just as Scarlett reached for the door, Wilhelm placed his hand over hers, stopping her.

“Can we talk for a minute?”

“Is there anything left to say?”

“Plenty, I think.”

They walked to the end of the hallway together. Scarlett crossed her arms over her chest, while Wilhelm rested his hands on his hips.

“…It’s not Grisham’s fault. That’s your parents’ story, not his.”

“Maybe it’s normal in Hiberk to keep a mistress, but Wifland has practiced monogamy for a thousand years.”

“Even so, blaming Grisham isn’t right. You can hate him, but don’t hurt him.”

“Why do you keep sticking your nose into this? Are you in the same boat as Grisham?”

Scarlett’s voice was sharp. It was clear she was barely keeping her emotions in check, and Wilhelm’s confrontational stance made her visibly uncomfortable.

Truthfully, a small part of her agreed with him. If merely being born was a sin, didn’t that imply the absence of divine justice?

But even so, she hated the Ashford mother and son. Hated them enough to bury any doubt she felt.

“Don’t meddle in other people’s family problems. Mind your own business.”

“He’s my friend.”

“You said we weren’t friends.”

“I was disappointed in you. But that doesn’t mean we’re not friends.”

“I’m too old to play friendship games. We’ve barely known each other for days.”

“Why are you so twisted?”

“Why don’t you try being born from an affair, losing your father before you were even born, and ending up with a body that barely works? Don’t talk about friendship when you won’t even try to understand. I’m sick of people like you who pretend to be kind.”

It was Scarlett who looked most hurt, even though disappointment was written all over Wilhelm’s face.

She quickly masked her expression, raising her brows as if to say, So what? Wilhelm shot back coldly.

“That’s all just an excuse. People who wallow in self-pity like you never amount to anything. I was wrong about you, Scarlett White.”

With that, Wilhelm walked away. Scarlett’s eyebrows pinched together in anger as she watched his retreating figure and clenched her fists tightly.

Noah was the one who gently pried her pale, trembling fingers open.

“…Let’s go in.”

Scarlett turned her head away sharply and walked ahead.

She was thankful they had spoken in Hiberkian. That way, Noah wouldn’t understand a thing.

If he had understood what Wilhelm said, she might’ve wanted to hang herself on the spot.

“Wilhelm says I’m pathetic. Do you think I am too?”

It was a meaningless question. Who was Noah Ashford to her, anyway?

“No, forget it. Don’t say anything.”

When she stepped into class, she saw Wilhelm chatting with friends like nothing had happened—and it made her sick.

Throughout the lesson, Scarlett was deep in thought about herself. She wondered what, if anything, she could be proud of—and realized, unlike her brothers, she had nothing.

To live a life of sickness and then die—that was the entirety of Scarlett White’s existence.

A familiar sense of helplessness and depression washed over her. None of the lecture content reached her. The class changed multiple times.

It wasn’t until economics class, when Noah nudged her arm, that she snapped back to reality.

“Start reading from the second paragraph on page 159.”

“……”

“Right here.”

Noah even pointed out the paragraph for her. The elderly professor, wearing a monocle, raised his brow and glared at her. Noah quickly spoke up.

“I’m sorry, Professor. She’s not feeling well. I think she needs to go to the infirmary.”

The professor sighed deeply and said, annoyed,

“Grisham. Take Miss White to the infirmary.”

“Yes, sir.”

Noah hurriedly packed his bag. Scarlett stumbled as soon as they stepped out of the lecture hall, and Noah quickly caught her. Her face was twisted in fear.

“What’s wrong? Are you anxious? Should I get your meds?”

“No. No, I’m fine…”

She hadn’t even come to terms with death, yet here she was, dreaming of revenge left incomplete.

Was it wrong to feel this way? Was her life truly pathetic? How would Scarlett White be remembered?

As a weak, useless girl? Or as someone so unpleasant people just wanted her gone?

“Ugh.”

Scarlett began to gag. She bolted to the restroom and vomited everything in her stomach. Noah hovered near the doorway, nervously calling her name.

“Are you okay? Scarlett… my god…”

After rinsing her mouth, Scarlett looked into the mirror. A woman close to death stared back—pale and pitiful.

“No.”

As long as she saved her family, nothing else mattered. They were her sole reason for living. She didn’t care what others thought.

Regardless of how she felt about Noah, or how their relationship might change—if he posed a threat to her family, she would kill him.

Scarlett gathered her thoughts quickly. By the time she stepped out, the bell had rung. She took the water Noah had prepared and drank it.

“Let’s go to the infirmary.”

“It’s okay. Just an upset stomach.”

“Still, you should get checked out.”

“No. I’d rather see Professor Diego.”

When they arrived at his office, Professor Diego surprised her by seating her on a guest sofa instead of launching into a scolding.

“Well, Miss White. Are you settling in at school?”

“Yes. Thanks to your concern.”

“That’s good to hear. I was worried because of your health. But if you’re feeling better, I’d like you to take a look at this.”

He handed her a neatly compiled sheet. As Scarlett scanned it, her mouth clamped shut. It was her quiz results from the start of term.

“You’ve rarely scored above 50. As you know, getting into this school is hard—but graduating is even harder. If your average doesn’t meet the passing mark, even a good score on the midterm won’t let you advance.”

“I don’t mind repeating the year.”

“That’s not the issue. There’s going to be a review after the midterms. You may be expelled.”

“Expelled?”

Her face turned pale. The midterms were only a month away.

To betray Noah even more deeply, she needed time. She needed to build a stronger bond with him. But expulsion?

First-years weren’t allowed to take leaves of absence. Noah Ashford would definitely stay in school, which meant she had to stay at Iodes no matter what.

“Didn’t Aaron tell you?”

“Aaron never mentioned the exams.”

“He was the type who’d understand ten things if you taught him one. He was brilliant.”

Scarlett looked over her score sheet again.

“There are seven quizzes left before the midterms. If you score above 90 on all of them, even if your midterm isn’t great, you’ll probably be allowed to continue.”

“…Thank you for your concern.”

As she left the professor’s office, a headache settled in. Outside, Wilhelm and Noah were talking. She stepped between them.

“Hoffmann. I have a question.”

“What is it?”

“Why didn’t you accept your friend’s offer earlier? An invitation to Zephywood is a rare opportunity for a foreigner like you.”

“I just didn’t want to exploit our friendship. Not that there’s much of one left now.”

Scarlett gave a thin, crooked smile. Her laughter, sudden and sharp, carried a hint of madness.

Wilhelm was rigid and naive. He avoided all things dirty in this world—and Scarlett found that both amusing and fascinating.

He was everything she wasn’t. While she was broken, he stood straight. And maybe that’s why she wanted him. Maybe if she had him, she could become someone like him too.

“Wanna date me?”

Shock spread across Wilhelm’s face. Noah’s blue eyes trembled.

But Scarlett only looked at Wilhelm. She spoke again.

“I like you. Let’s go out.”

Noah’s eyes filled with quiet rage. A deep, flowing current of anger, invisible from the surface—even to himself.

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