To the Man Destined to Kill Me - Chapter 18

It had been weeks since he’d last returned home.

Noah stared at the rotting door. It was more of a tattered screen than an actual door.

His home was poor—utterly, desperately poor. If Scarlett hadn’t paid off their debts, he and his mother would’ve been quietly shipped off on a slave ship bound for Natalia by now.

Knock. Knock. Knock.

A series of even knocks was followed by the door swinging open.

Julia Ashford, Noah’s mother, peeked out. Her complexion had visibly improved. Upon seeing Noah, she broke into a broad smile and threw her arms around him.

“You’ve been well? My goodness… Your face looks even thinner.”

“You look better. The medicine… It must be working.”

She was still pale and frail, but to Noah, she seemed significantly healthier. Julia touched her cheek with a twisted smile.

“I don’t know if I should be accepting medicine from Lady White, but… a letter came. Said I’d have to pay the price once I got better. If what she wants is my health, I suppose that’s only fair.”

So back then, Scarlett had wanted revenge.

Noah recalled her ashen eyes that never lost their spark. Her fiery red hair. Her razor-sharp words.

Maybe she still harbors those feelings. And yet… Scarlett seeks forgiveness. She’d said it herself:

“I’ll allow you to become a lowly beast of the earth.”

That was Noah’s salvation. Because he was bound to Scarlett, he could only be saved by her.

That fate had now begun anew. The second act had opened.

The shackle called Scarlett White, once bound to his ankle, now rested deep within him.

“Have you eaten?”

“Oh, yes. Don’t worry about me. Actually—I’ve found a way to restore our identities. Legally…”

Noah’s words were cut short by Julia’s piercing scream.

“No!”

“There’s no need for loan sharks to come after us anymore. Scarlett… she—sorry to say—but she paid off all our debt.”

“No, no. That’s not the issue. You have to live as Theo Grisham. There’s no Mr. White to protect you anymore. Oh, you as Theo Grisham, and I as Anne Thompson—that’s how it has to be.”

Disgust twisted Noah’s face. But soon his brows furrowed deeply, and his eyes gleamed with sharp clarity.

It was true Mr. White had been a good shield against the rest of the White family. But back then, their safety also owed to the fact that the White brothers had been too young to interfere.

His mother still clung to the belief that Alex White, Scarlett’s father, had been their protector.

“That won’t do. We can’t live under false names forever. And please… don’t speak of Mr. White like that anymore. You know how kind he was.”

“No. It’s too dangerous. Absolutely not.”

“Cravitz already knows everything. Don’t you get it? The fact that Scarlett found us first proves it—there’s no point in hiding. It only makes us look more cowardly.”

“You don’t understand. That’s not what I meant. Oh… yes, they were cruel, but… they weren’t the end. They’re not what I’m afraid of.”

“Then what? What is it that terrifies you so much?!”

Ever since Mr. White’s death, Noah’s mother had been obsessed with safety.

They moved several times a year, hoarded security items, and lived like people constantly under threat.

Noah had assumed she feared the White brothers, notorious for their violent tempers and power to do anything they pleased.

“You don’t need to know. I can’t ever tell you. You…”

Julia trembled, clutching her skirt.

She had always kept something secret—like her childhood, for example.

“Fine. But we must restore our identities. We can’t keep living as Theo Grisham. If we just pay the fine—”

“I said no!”

“Mr. White is dead! He’s been gone for over ten years! How long are we going to cling to him? Do you think our lives turned out this way because he’s gone? No! It was your wastefulness and failed investments that brought us here! Let’s stop this and live properly. Like normal people.”

Julia’s mouth opened and closed soundlessly before she exhaled in despair. She took a step back, visibly shaken.

“You… You don’t understand! You don’t know what you should be afraid of!”

“Then tell me! How long are you going to keep secrets from me?!”

“Noah…”

“Yes! I’m Noah Ashford! Not Theo Grisham!”

“Oh, God… Noah. Not now. We can’t reveal ourselves to the world just yet.”

Holding her head, Julia sat down. Noah sighed deeply.

He lit a candle. The poorest of the poor used candles—no magic stones, no lanterns. Just a candle. A relic of a bygone era.

He checked their firewood supply for the winter. There was none. Just a pile of discarded newspapers, barely enough to burn. He couldn’t even sigh anymore.

“The school will give me money. I’m working as a helper. I’ll send it to you. Please use it to buy firewood ahead of time.”

“…Alright. I will.”

Noah sat across from his mother, rested his arms on the table, and gestured clearly, pronouncing each word with clarity and force.

“I will succeed.”

It was a promise to himself as much as to her. He was sick of poverty. Sick of disgrace. He wanted to rise—to a place no one could dare look down on him.

“I don’t want to live like this anymore.”

Julia buried her face in her palms in anguish. But Noah didn’t flinch.

“And I want to live as Noah Ashford—not Theo Grisham.”

“…”

“I have one question.”

“…What is it?”

“Am I really… Mr. White’s son?”

Julia raised her head. Her eyes were filled with fear.

“Of course! He’s your father! Why would you ask such a thing? It’s because of Scarlett White, isn’t it?”

“We don’t look anything alike. Not even a little.”

“That’s not true. You resemble him in many ways. He died when you were four—you wouldn’t remember.”

“I don’t have Scarlett’s or Scott White’s face. Every time I look in the mirror, I wonder. The parts of me that don’t resemble you… who did I get them from? Please. Just be honest.”

“Noah Ashford!”

“I remember Mr. White once said: You must be my son.”

His confession hit like a thunderclap. Julia gasped.

Clenching her fists and pursing her lips, she struggled to speak.

This was the first time mother and son had ever spoken of Mr. White in such a way.

“There’s something, isn’t there?”

“You are Mr. White’s son. That remark… maybe it was because another man tried to claim you as his own. He must’ve meant that you were truly his, and he wouldn’t let you be taken.”

Julia flushed with shame as Noah’s face crumbled in disappointment. Deep wrinkles dug into her cheeks as she clamped her lips shut.

Noah stared at the flickering candlelight. It reminded him of Scarlett. He wondered what she was doing now.

“I should go.”

Julia couldn’t bring herself to ask him to stay a little longer.

Noah left the house without another word. The autumn wind on the way back felt unusually cold. The scent of dry leaves made his stomach twist.

He passed through the villa gate and crossed the yard. That’s when he saw her—Scarlett—fast asleep on the outdoor swing chair.

The sunset had painted her skin. Her cheeks glowed pink, her pale hands a warm shade of coral.

She was so deeply asleep, he couldn’t bear to wake her.

Night was falling, but Scarlett always struggled with sleep. That was probably why the staff had simply draped a blanket over her and left her be. Noah sat down beside her carefully.

Asleep, Scarlett looked almost childlike. Innocent. Free from all pain and worry.

No nightmares haunted her this time. Only the sound of her gentle breathing filled the world.

The rustling autumn breeze, the fading trees, and the chirping insects—all faded into the background.

All that remained was Scarlett’s breathing.

Noah sincerely wished for her peace. Whatever posture she took toward him didn’t matter anymore. She had once told him:

“You are free. You don’t have to be bound to me anymore.”

Scarlett.

Scarlett.

He rolled her name silently in his mouth.

Each time his unspoken voice trembled in his throat, a strange tingling spread through him.

It was strange. A strange emotion. He lowered his gaze to stop it from spilling over.

Noah placed a hand over his tight chest.

This swelling, indescribable feeling he got whenever he looked at her—it was because she forgave him.

Even if it wasn’t true forgiveness, even the smallest effort meant everything to him.

Scarlett.

His sister, Scarlett.

His sister with a different last name. Scarlett White.

A chill breeze swept in and tickled Scarlett’s neck. Her hair fluttered and brushed against Noah’s shoulder.

He flinched, startled. At the same time, Scarlett stirred with a soft groan.

Her dazed eyes blinked slowly, searching the air.

“You’re awake?”

“…Noah?”

“Yeah. It’s me.”

“You’re early.”

“I thought you’d gone home.”

“Mmm. I was scared of John.”

Still half-asleep, she rubbed her eyes, then yawned and pulled the blanket closer.

Her thin, frail fingers disappeared into its folds. Noah spoke gently.

“Let’s sleep inside.”

“Sleepy…”

“You’ll catch a cold.”

“Mmm. That won’t do. Abigail might be in danger.”

Sometimes, Scarlett said things no one could make sense of.

Please save her. Not Isaac. Now it’s Abigail who’s in danger.

“Watch out for the fever.”

Still drowsy, she closed her eyes again, reluctant to let go of what little rest she’d found. The scent of autumn lingered in the air. Noah spoke.

“I’ll carry you. Let’s go inside.”

Noah bent to one knee and lowered himself. Half-asleep, Scarlett climbed onto his back. It was the first time she’d let herself be carried since the day she was kidnapped—but it didn’t feel too strange.

Her wariness toward Noah, her unfamiliarity, had faded somewhat.

When she rested her face on his shoulder, her red hair spilled down. Her arms wrapped gently around his neck.

Noah thought: This is such a strange feeling.

Warm. Fuzzy. Tingly. A feeling he’d never known before.

Is this how it feels to have a sibling?

As Scarlett drifted back to sleep, Noah softly whispered her name.

“Scarlett.”

Scarlett.

Red flame, smoldering ash. His sister, his family, his freedom, his salvation.

“Scarlett.”

Scarlett.

The swelling in his chest was overwhelming.

In that moment, Noah wanted more than anything to succeed. To become a brother she could be proud of.

Just like her sister and her four brothers. To stand shoulder to shoulder with them.

Not knowing yet that this feeling was love, Noah carried Scarlett back into the villa.

There were roughly 170 days left until her death.

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