Though I Don’t Recall It, I’ll Take Responsibility - Chapter 9

Inside my arms, Liz rests her head against me.

Her soft hair brushes against my chest, carrying a faint, flower-like scent. Her eyelids are half-closed, her long lashes casting soft shadows.

She looks like she’s reached her limit. It’s Lord Leonard’s fault for bringing her out at such an hour.

“Liz, are you sleepy already?”

Ral peers in worriedly. His small hand gently pokes Liz’s arm with his fingertip.

“It looks like she should head to bed.”

Lord Leonard lowers his brows in concern, but I can’t help but think—You are the reason she’s like this, you know?

“Lord Leonard, this was so sudden that I haven’t prepared a room for her. Therefore, I will take her to my chambers.”

It’s still too soon to let her sleep alone. This is an unfamiliar place. She would surely wake up lonely and cry.

“In that case, I’ll read a book to Liz!”

Ral’s voice suddenly brightens.

“Mother, you go on ahead. I’ll go get my favorite book from my room!”

What a gentle soul. Truly my son.

“Then, shall I carry her? Clarice, come here?”

Lord Leonard reaches out his hands softly.

“No!”

His outstretched hands met only empty air, left abandoned in the middle of the room. Was it just my imagination, or did his fingertips tremble slightly?

Liz remained clung tightly to me, burying her face in my shoulder.

“N-no? Why?”

Lord Leonard’s voice sounded a little wounded.

“She’s likely just cranky because she’s sleepy,” I said airily.

“You… Lucy, was it? Please help Liz prepare for bed.”

“Certainly, Madam.”

Lucy, Liz’s personal maid, gave a polite bow. Her movements were elegant. I felt a strange sense of relief; as I had heard, she was a highly capable maid.

“You don’t need to follow us, Lord Leonard. Well then, good night.”

“Eh? Ah, um… good night, Lyra, Clarice.”

To share a bedroom with someone I’ve only known for three days? There was no way such a dramatic development was going to happen.

Lucy efficiently prepared the change of clothes.

Liz, who had seemed so drowsy, suddenly had her eyes pop wide open the moment her clothes began to come off. Children truly are mysterious creatures.

“Sorry to keep you waiting, Liz!”

Ral rushed in, clutching a pile of books in both arms. They looked ready to spill over at any moment. He dumped them onto the bed and puffed out his chest proudly.

“This one is my favorite. It’s an adventure book. But since Liz is a girl, maybe she’d like the fairy book better?”

He held out a book, looking more serious than serious can be. It was adorable.

“Which one would you like, Liz?”

“This one!”

A tiny finger poked the fairy book.

“The fairy book it is!”

A bright smile spread across Ral’s face.

“Yeah, I can read this one really well!”

“Ral? It’s your bedtime too, you know. If you read to her now, you won’t get any sleep yourself.”

“Ah… r-right. What should I do, Mother…?”

Ral pondered with a troubled expression.

“If you want to read to her, let’s do it during the day. Leave it to Mother for tonight. You go get ready for bed and then come back here. Let’s all sleep together, shall we?”

“Me too? I’m already six, but for today, it’s okay, right? Yeah, I’ll do that! Liz, don’t fall asleep yet, just hold on a little longer!”

He dashed out of the room, looking delighted.

“Lucy, you may go as well. I’ll handle the rest. Please ask the butler about your quarters.”

“Understood. If you need anything, please call for me even in the middle of the night.”

“Thank you. I will.”

The concern for Liz in her eyes made me feel at ease.

“Mother, I’m back!”

Ral returned, hugging a pillow tightly. His voice was bouncy. He hopped onto the bed and sat close to Liz.

As I slid in between them, I had Liz on my right and Ral on my left. I felt the warmth of their small bodies leaning against me from both sides.

“Well then, shall we read?”

I opened the picture book.

In an instant, both their gazes were sucked into the page. The faint light of fairies. The glowing forest. Sparkling dust. Ral caught his breath, and Liz let out a soft sigh. Every time I turned a page, small hands gripped my sleeve.

However, by the time we reached the middle—

Liz’s blinking eyes slowly and deeply began to close. Her head bobbed. Yet, not wanting to fall asleep, she desperately leaned against me, her tiny fingers clutching my sleeve tight.

Soon, however, her breathing became quiet and rhythmic.

“Oh? Liz fell asleep?”

Ral whispered, his voice hushed. But his own eyelids were also beginning to droop.

As I continued reading, Ral’s head slumped onto my shoulder. By the time I closed the final page, he too was breathing steadily in his sleep.

I had often thought I wanted a younger brother or sister.

But I never imagined I would suddenly have a son and a daughter like this…

It has been a tumultuous three days. My heart hasn’t quite managed to organize the joy and the confusion yet.

Once I confirmed they were both sound asleep, I slipped quietly out of bed. Both Liz and Ral slept with expressions of pure happiness. I gently adjusted their blankets.

For my sake.

For the sake of my family.

For the future of these children.

—There is a diary I must read.

I can no longer pretend not to know. I have a responsibility.

I walked toward the back of the closet. Every time the floorboard let out a slight creak, it felt as though my heart creaked along with it. The moment I touched the lid of the chest, my fingertips twitched.

The silence of the night seemed to mirror my tension.

I took a deep breath, steeled my resolve, and opened the lid.

The scent of paper wafted up. I reached out and, with trembling fingers, pulled out a single volume.