Though I Don’t Recall It, I’ll Take Responsibility - Chapter 10

＊＊＊ Lara’s Diary ＊＊＊

Since the entrance ceremony, I’ve successfully made the acquaintance of all the capture targets. I could almost hear the gears of fate clicking into place.

Yes, this is my first step as the heroine! Everything is so perfect it’s almost scary.

My main target, of course, is the Crown Prince.

The moment I laid eyes on his face, I felt it was destiny. I’m sure he felt it too. I mean, it’s me, right?

But I can’t let my guard down in this world.

Romance events glitch out sometimes, don’t they?

That’s why I have to make sure to raise the affection levels of all the other capture targets as a backup. It’s a heroine’s duty!

…And yet, Brother is doing nothing but getting in my way.

“Unbecoming,” “Bad reputation”—honestly, he’s being beyond rude.

Who does he think I am?

I’m not some Villainess, you know? I am a genuine, certified Heroine!

Normally in this kind of world, the basic setting is that the brother dotes on the sister, right? Why is he acting like a “Villainous Brother”? This is way too off-script.

I already have my hands full dealing with four different villainesses. I don’t need him throwing up new walls for me. It’s confusing.

And then there’s Tiana.

Thanks for going out of your way to snitch to Brother.

“Everyone already has a fiancée, you know?” she said.

Like, obviously I know that. If anything, that’s the trial I have to overcome! I can’t clear a route if I don’t get close to them, so I don’t appreciate the unsolicited interference.

Best friend? Comrade?

…Is that even necessary in a romance game?

I want a sweet romance. Friendship events are for when I have spare time. I wish that crybaby Mob character would stop getting in the way of my route.

—I hope my “Romance Plan” continues to go smoothly tomorrow.

All for that glittering, dazzling future where I’ll be smiling by the Crown Prince’s side.

Side: Aira

…This is the absolute worst.

My fingertips have been cold ever since I read the very first line.

The way she joyfully described “getting close” to one engaged man after another during her first month at the Academy… it makes my stomach ache with every page I turn.

Complaints about Brother and Tiana, backbiting, ventings—one whole volume ended just like that.

“Mob”… that means a supporting character, doesn’t it?

“Villainess”? “Heroine”?

These are words I’ve never heard in this country, yet their meanings are perfectly clear to me. It was the same the last time I read the diary.

To be honest, it’s terrifying that I accurately understand concepts I shouldn’t know.

The doctor did say that even if you lose your memories, knowledge and daily habits that the body remembers will remain.

—I see. Even if my consciousness has changed, we share the same layer of knowledge.

But if that’s the case, it’s strange.

The history and herbalism I was so looking forward to studying at the Academy… almost none of it remains inside me.

“Lara”… you didn’t… you weren’t actually studying, were you?

Every time I looked down at the page, the facts I didn’t want to face only increased.

Approaching men with fiancées—four of them, no less. I had a bad feeling when Leonard-sama mentioned his wife, but I never imagined everyone had a fiancée.

Then again, considering their social standing, it’s only natural.

They haven’t appeared in this volume of the diary yet, but I’m sure those fiancées will show up eventually.

The possibility that I am hated? It’s high.

No, it’s a certainty.

Heh… haha. I’m lucky I didn’t wake up in a convent; that future was very much on the table.

Furthermore, things have soured with my brother to the point where they weren’t even on speaking terms because he defended Tiana.

It’s only natural that he would defend her!

Ah… just like with my mother and father, I must have caused him so much distress.

If my brother’s hair has thinned at all, I am definitely the cause. Absolutely.

And Tiana.

I made her cry.

My heart aches just imagining her distorted, weeping face. She was a crybaby from the time we were little, her cheeks always wet with tears. When I think about how much my words and attitude must have hurt her…

We had promised that once we entered the Academy, we would go to the patisseries in the Royal Capital together.

We would get so excited talking about cakes we hadn’t seen yet.

Sharing a seasonal tart and splitting a pot of tea, I was truly looking forward to that time.

We planned to wear matching accessories at the Academy parties.

We sat in front of the mirror countless times, consulting each other on which dresses suited us best.

We were supposed to eat lunch together every day, and I was going to summarize my notes for Tiana, since she hated studying.

It’s not just time that was lost.

…Anyway.

I now fully understand the fact that there are far more people I need to apologize to than I imagined.

I snapped the diary shut.

I tossed it straight into the fireplace. The paper was swallowed by the flames, crackling softly. Watching the past I didn’t remember burn away, I took a slow, deep breath until the air reached the depths of my lungs, and then I exhaled.

“Should I read one more volume? No, let’s just go to sleep.”

I’ve reached my limit.

I stood up and headed for the bed.

The two children were sleeping with identical faces. Even their breathing was perfectly in sync, and I couldn’t help but smile.

I gently slipped into bed and pulled them both close in my arms.

They were warm.

“…Tomorrow is going to be a long day, too.”

I let out a long sigh and closed my eyes.