The White Moonlight Turns Out to Be a Black-Hearted Lotus - Chapter 22

He had been drifting in and out of a heavy, groggy sleep for an unknown length of time, vaguely remembering being woken up to drink medicine before slipping back into unconsciousness.

The air was thick with the damp scent of rain. Perhaps because Pei Xu had mentioned events from the past, Ji Yuanhui seemed to return to those days in his dreams.

When he had first returned from Longxi, he was actually somewhat disgruntled.

Pei Xu was too cold toward him.

He no longer followed Ji Yuanhui’s every step or clung to him as before, nor did he laugh as radiantly as he had in their childhood. Every move and gesture had become a product of disciplined refinement; his smiles were merely shallow flickers on the surface, appearing false and hazy. He was like a piece of jade that was no longer cherished, set aside in a dark corner without care, losing its former luster and becoming covered in dust.

When Ji Yuanhui was unhappy, he became a bit fierce. He fiercely demanded that Pei Xu stay by his side and not wander far, ordering him about to do this or that.

There was no other way; if his methods weren’t forceful, Pei Xu would waver in indecision, then hesitate and shrink back.

He was like a cat—if you let him roam wild, he would only ever dare to steal glances at you. But if you forcibly grabbed him and smoothed his fur every day, he might scratch you a couple of times at first, but once tamed, he would start to become clingy, meowing and acting spoiled toward you.

After spending time together like this for a while, Pei Xu indeed grew a bit bolder. From the beginning, when he only dared to steal glances, he changed into someone who dared to stare at Ji Yuanhui for a long time without looking away.

However, he still didn’t dare to make any requests, as if fearing that if he asked for too much, he would be abandoned.

Ji Yuanhui was determined to force him to take that step.

In the library, Pei Xu was holding some books to put them away, while Ji Yuanhui stood idly by with his arms crossed, watching him.

The last few volumes were too high for Pei Xu to reach, and the ladder was currently being leaned against by Ji Yuanhui.

“Your Highness…” He hesitated for a long time before finally speaking. “Could Your Highness please move aside?”

Ji Yuanhui arched an eyebrow and didn’t budge. “What do you need a ladder for? I can put them up just by raising my hand.”

Pei Xu looked at him with pleading eyes, hoping he would move so he could use the ladder. “But I can’t reach.”

“What’s the use of looking at me like that? Do you think I’ll help you?” Ji Yuanhui deliberately misinterpreted his meaning with an unwavering face, his smile a bit wicked. “It’s not impossible. If you beg me, I’ll help you.”

Pei Xu pursed his lips, his voice a bit soft. “I beg you…”

Ji Yuanhui leaned down, bringing his ear close to the other’s lips. “Louder, I can’t hear you.”

“I beg you…” Being so close, Pei Xu’s face turned red. “Please help.”

“What are you blushing for? It’s as if I’m forcing you to do something; I’m not bullying you.” Ji Yuanhui, full of playfulness, gave a snorting laugh and offered his cheek. “Since we’re already this close, why don’t you just give me a kiss. If you kiss me once, never mind putting away books—I’ll even give you the jade pendant my mother left for her daughter-in-law.”

Ji Yuanhui was just bullying him to satisfy a whim; seeing Pei Xu embarrassed made him happy, and he never actually expected Pei Xu to kiss him.

But to his surprise, in the next moment, a soft sensation touched his cheek. Ji Yuanhui even forgot to blink, freezing on the spot in a daze.

In all his years, this was the first time he had been kissed. It took a good while for his brain to process the fact that Pei Xu had just kissed him.

“Will you… Will you really give it to me?” While he was still stunned, Pei Xu grabbed the corner of his robe, twisting it uneasily. His watery eyes looked at him with pure, docile sincerity as he mustered the courage to ask again. “Will you really give it?”

Ji Yuanhui snapped back to his senses, covering his cheek and retreating several steps, nearly crashing into the bookshelf. He felt as though steam could rise from the top of his head; his brain was too hot to think.

Then, in the next instant, without saying a word, he turned and bolted. He ran back to his palace with flying steps, not only finding the jade pendant his mother had left him but also rummaging through chests and cupboards to find a pile of other items to bring along before rushing back to find Pei Xu.

Pei Xu wasn’t there. Ji Yuanhui forgot who he had asked, but they said Pei Xu had already gone home.

Ji Yuanhui then left the palace, scaled the wall of the Pei estate, and went to knock on Pei Xu’s window.

The sky was already very dark. When Pei Xu heard Ji Yuanhui’s voice, he suspected he had misheard. With little hope, he pushed open the window, only to have his arms immediately stuffed full of things.

“This is the jade pendant my mother left for me, this is the first lock of hair cut after I was born, this is the map I grabbed during my first birthday ceremony…” Ji Yuanhui counted them one by one, only wishing he could stuff himself into Pei Xu’s arms as well. When he finished giving everything, Pei Xu was still standing there dazed, unable to recover, only to hear Ji Yuanhui continue: “Everything I could think of is here…”

Pei Xu asked blankly, “Will you give me whatever I want?”

“I’ll give you whatever you want. If you want my heart, I’ll cut it out while it’s still warm and give it to you, so it doesn’t chill your hands.”

Ji Yuanhui answered quickly. The moonlight was as cool as water, but it couldn’t lower the temperature of his face. His heart was fervent, and he felt lightheaded, as if floating. “I am fond of you. Could you come over and let me kiss you a couple more times?”

Pei Xu’s eyelashes trembled. Under the bright moonlight, his skin looked more lustrous and fair than white porcelain. He leaned his body out of the window, drawing close to Ji Yuanhui, and softly said, “Okay.”

As Pei Xu drew closer, a gentle fragrance—as mild as the man himself—lightly enveloped them, wrapping around Ji Yuanhui. As he inhaled it into his lungs, it made him feel somewhat woozy, as if intoxicated.

Ji Yuanhui held his breath, wanting to kiss Pei Xu’s soft lips, but the kiss ultimately landed with restraint on his forehead.

Once the kiss ended, Ji Yuanhui pulled back slightly. Before he could dwell on the tender emotions surging in his heart, he saw Pei Xu crying silently, teardrops rolling down in succession.

“What’s wrong?” He hurriedly reached out to brush away the tears on Pei Xu’s face. “Do you not like it? Do you not like me kissing you?”

Pei Xu shook his head, broken and flickering tears shimmering in his eyes. “The Prince left me and walked away during the day.”

“Your Highness is always bullying me. I thought Your Highness was playing a trick on me again…” He sobbed, his grievances becoming uncontrollable once he started talking. “I thought… I thought Your Highness had seen through my feelings and thought I was being greedy and delusional, so you intentionally wanted to embarrass me…”

Pei Xu’s tears pulled at Ji Yuanhui’s heart. For a moment, he didn’t know how to comfort him, only managing to say dryly, “I like you. Before, I only wanted you to be closer to me. I won’t intentionally bully you anymore… It’s my fault, don’t be sad.”

What was Pei Xu like in his heart? Like the moon hanging high in the sky, or the snow on a branch about to melt.

He was gentle, fragile, beautiful, and easily broken.

Ji Yuanhui became awkward because he was too young; before this, no one had ever taught him how to love someone properly.

“Then… Your Highness, kiss me again…” Ji Yuanhui remembered Pei Xu’s downcast eyes and how he appeared in the moonlight, shrouded in a thin veil of light and shadow, looking soft and affectionate. “Kiss me once, and I won’t be sad anymore.”

A very green kiss landed on the corner of his mouth. Clearly, if they had shifted just an inch, it would have landed on the lips, yet neither of them moved.

They were tacitly waiting for something.

“Wait for me to marry you.” With their breaths inches apart, Ji Yuanhui’s heart hammered, the sound of his heartbeat thundering in his ears.

Holding the jade pendant in his hand, Pei Xu’s eyes curved, reflecting the light of the sky and the water. He smiled, a rare and joyful expression. “Mhm.”

Not long after, he went to ask the Emperor for a decree of marriage, and their relationship was settled. The Ministry of Rites scheduled the wedding date for one year later, and everything proceeded with rare smoothness.

On the day of the wedding, he declined half of the wine offered to him.

He didn’t want to go see Pei Xu while stinking of alcohol; he wanted to clearly remember the way Pei Xu looked wearing the wedding robes for him.

He must be very beautiful… if he didn’t take a good look, he feared he would regret it for a lifetime.

The ceremonial scale in his hand, which was covered in a thin layer of sweat, felt a bit slippery.

Ji Yuanhui’s mind was a mess of thoughts. Pei Xu must be nervous, too; his lapels are being bunched up by his grip. Is he afraid? To have gambled everything to marry someone whose interests contradict his family’s—from now on, the Pei family is no longer his retreat. If his husband is also unkind to him… no, that’s not right, I am his husband now, I won’t be unkind to him.

The scale hooked the edge of the bridal veil and slowly lifted it.

Inch by inch, the youth’s face beneath the veil was revealed. Those eyes gazed at him intensely, filled with unspoken words.

“Rongrong…” Whether it was the alcohol rising or his thoughts overturning, a heat surfaced on his face. His voice was more tender than ever before. “I have come to fulfill our vow.”

Ji Yuanhui reached out to touch Pei Xu’s face, leaning down to look at him for a long time—until Pei Xu, blushing, looked away and whispered, “You’ve been looking for so long, are you going to kiss me or not…”

“Let me see where to kiss first.” With his breath right there, Ji Yuanhui teased him with a smile. “In such a hurry, where do you want me to kiss you?”

Having said that, before Pei Xu could react, he pressed his lips against those soft ones.

This time, there was no need for restraint or to merely kiss the corner of the mouth.

Pei Xu was kissed until he was out of breath, pushing at his shoulder to remind him: “The ritual wine hasn’t been drunk yet…”

After drinking the nuptial wine, Ji Yuanhui reached out to undo Pei Xu’s headgear, watching as a few strands of hair at his temples fell messily by his ears, looking as docile as a rabbit.

With a shy expression, Pei Xu also reached out to undo his waist sash. Ji Yuanhui let his kisses fall on his earlobes and neck; with every kiss, the person in his arms trembled. His reaction made Ji Yuanhui’s breathing heavier, and he couldn’t help but pinch his chin, prying open his lips in a semi-forceful manner to suck and lick.

The robes had mostly fallen away during the tugging. Ji Yuanhui’s palm rested on Pei Xu’s waist, lightly stroking as it slid elsewhere. The person beneath him probably realized what was about to happen, as his body stiffened significantly due to tension.

“Relax…” Ji Yuanhui bit the small mole on his earlobe again, his voice filled with coaxing. “I won’t bully you.”

The initially stiff body gradually found some pleasure under his caresses, and his voice softened, pleading amidst light gasps, “Your Highness, the lamp hasn’t been blown out yet…”

Ji Yuanhui leaned over, his tongue swirling around that point of cinnabar, licking and lightly biting. “Do you not want to look at me?”

“Ah…” Pei Xu’s eyes grew misty. Seeking protection, he raised his arms to hug Ji Yuanhui’s neck, unable to find the focus to answer further.

The beautiful night was short, and the red candles shed tears of wax.

After an unknown amount of time, Ji Yuanhui called for water, wetted a silk cloth, and returned to the bed to wipe away the traces of the two of them from Pei Xu’s lower abdomen.

Pei Xu allowed himself to be handled with a flushed face. After wiping him down, Ji Yuanhui pressed against him affectionately for a while longer before getting up to blow out the lamp.

Lying back down, Ji Yuanhui reached out to pull Pei Xu into his arms. His palm brushed over the thin back of the person in his embrace, and he couldn’t help but feel that Pei Xu was truly too thin—he would have to make sure he ate more in the future.

As his thoughts wandered, Pei Xu rustled and raised his head from his chest, propping up his upper body slightly. His cheeks were stained a light crimson as he whispered into Ji Yuanhui’s ear, “Your Highness, everything was prepared before the wedding night…”

Ji Yuanhui knew that people from the palace would have taught him things before the wedding, but he hadn’t expected them to be so detailed.

“Are you still going to sleep tonight?” Today’s rituals were tedious, and Pei Xu’s health wasn’t good; he was likely exhausted. Ji Yuanhui didn’t have the heart to continue bothering him tonight, so he simply tucked in the quilt that had let in a draft when Pei Xu propped himself up. “There’s no rush for this.”

Pei Xu gave an “oh,” though it was unclear if it was out of relief or disappointment.

“Don’t prop yourself up like that.” Ji Yuanhui’s hand pressed down on his waist. “Lie down and cover up with the quilt, be careful not to catch a cold.”

Pei Xu lay down, watching him while clutching the corner of the quilt.

This gaze was so palpable that it was hard to ignore, so he opened his eyes again. “What is it?”

“Your Highness…” Pei Xu tentatively made a request. “Can I hold you while I sleep?”

“What do you think?” Hearing this question, Ji Yuanhui couldn’t help but laugh, his sleepiness vanishing. “A man who lets you kiss and touch him as you please—do you think he minds if you hold him? We’re already in the same bed, what are you being polite for?”

“Your Highness, stop laughing at me…” Pei Xu murmured as he tangled himself around him, tucking his entire self into Ji Yuanhui’s embrace in a very dependent posture.

Ji Yuanhui held him and kissed his hair.