The White Moonlight Turns Out to Be a Black-Hearted Lotus - Chapter 14

The year Pei Xu was picked up by Ji Yuanhui, it was winter.

He was naturally frail, had sustained injuries, and was severely traumatized. Consequently, he burned with a fever for three consecutive days. When he finally woke up, he remembered nothing except that his name was Rongrong.

Ji Yuanhui’s uncle lamented the child’s misfortune. The civil unrest in Binzhou had affected many officials and wealthy merchants, and the official roads were crowded with refugees. Since the boy remembered nothing, finding his family would likely be an impossible task.

Although Pei Xu’s fever had subsided, his body remained weak. Hearing this, he looked at the two men before him with a vacant gaze.

Ji Yuanhui watched him from the bedside with curiosity. He flicked the boy’s chin as if playing with a puppy and turned to his uncle. “He’s been burning for so long; the fact that he isn’t a simpleton is already a blessing from his ancestors. What more do you want?”

He was promptly chased around the room by his uncle, who struck him several times with a feather duster for his cynical remarks.

The two years spent in Longxi were perhaps the lightest and brightest years of Pei Xu’s later life.

Perhaps because Ji Yuanhui felt his exile to such a desolate place was beneath him, he was always gruff—and he was gruff with Pei Xu as well.

Yet, Pei Xu remained close to him. Perhaps because Ji Yuanhui was the first person he saw upon waking, Pei Xu instinctively loved and relied on him. He liked to follow Ji Yuanhui everywhere, step for step. Ji Yuanhui was not pleased by this; he would stop, furrow his brows, and look at him fiercely. “Can you stop following me?”

At thirteen, Ji Yuanhui had already grown quite tall. However, Pei Xu had been frequently ill as a child and had grown slowly; at nine years old, he looked no more than seven or eight.

When Ji Yuanhui stopped abruptly, Pei Xu couldn’t brake in time and crashed into him. He clutched his forehead, looking somewhat aggrieved.

“Where did you hit? Let me see,” Ji Yuanhui’s expression softened as he knelt to check. “Did you hit the belt buckle? Does it hurt?”

As Ji Yuanhui rubbed his forehead, Pei Xu stared at him blankly and shook his head.

“Why are you so dazed? Did the physician fail to notice you actually turned into a dummy?” Ji Yuanhui teased him like a puppy, pinching and shaking his cheeks. “Why don’t you leave even when I’m mean to you?”

“I only know the Prince and Uncle. I have nowhere else to go,” Pei Xu replied in a thin voice, showing no temper even as his cheeks were pinched. “Why does the Prince dislike me?”

Ji Yuanhui felt a pang of guilt. The pinching turned into a gentle rub. “It’s not that I dislike you. It’s that your legs are too short. If I walk fast, you’ll trip; if I walk slow, I’ll be late for business.”

Pei Xu let out a dejected “Oh.” “If… if I am hindering the Prince, then I…”

Ji Yuanhui couldn’t listen anymore. He hooked one arm around the boy and easily hoisted him up. “My little ancestor, stop talking. You’re making it look like I’m bullying a child. We really have no time left—if I’m late and the tutor complains, Uncle will hang me up and beat me.”

From then on, Pei Xu was tacitly allowed to follow behind like a little tail. Occasionally, if there was an emergency, Ji Yuanhui would carry him. If it were even more urgent, Ji Yuanhui would simply grab him by his clothes and tuck him under his arm so he could jog.

During the day, Ji Yuanhui attended lessons; at night, he practiced martial arts with his uncle’s deputy. His uncle, Zhang Dingguang, was the Governor of Longxi. He was very busy, but when he had time, he would personally supervise Ji Yuanhui’s training.

Ji Yuanhui excelled at archery. Pei Xu watched with sparkling eyes, but the military bows required at least one dan of strength—far more than he could pull.

Noticing Pei Xu’s admiring gaze, Ji Yuanhui asked, “Do you want to try?”

Pei Xu hesitated, knowing his own weakness, but eventually said he did.

Ji Yuanhui wiped his sweat and said, “I understand.”

A few days later, while Pei Xu was leaning over his desk working on his assignments, something suddenly flew from behind and poked his back, falling to the floor with a clatter. He looked down; it was an arrow carved from a tree branch, its tip dulled so it didn’t hurt.

Pei Xu looked toward the door to see Ji Yuanhui standing there with a small bow, smiling. “A hit!”

He walked over and handed the small bow to Pei Xu. “It’s yours. Take it and play.”

Pei Xu’s eyes were fixed on Ji Yuanhui’s hands. He carefully blew on the small cuts and scabs. “Does it hurt, Prince?”

Ji Yuanhui stuffed the bow into his hands and awkwardly tucked his own hands behind his back. “It doesn’t hurt at all. I wouldn’t have even noticed if you hadn’t mentioned it.”

Pei Xu held the small bow and the arrow he had just retrieved. Though carved from a branch, it was sanded perfectly smooth without a single splinter. Setting the items down, Pei Xu hugged Ji Yuanhui’s waist and coaxed him sweetly, “Thank you, Prince. You are the best.”

Ji Yuanhui puffed out his chest and patted the boy’s head. “As long as you know.”

Ji Yuanhui was a man who responded to softness rather than force; this kind of acting worked every time. Pei Xu grew bolder, pestering Ji Yuanhui to take him horse riding. Eventually, Ji Yuanhui found a pony and taught it. Pei Xu learned quickly and was soon riding on his own.

Sometimes, Ji Yuanhui argued with Zhang Dingguang.

“If I stay in Longxi for years, by the time I return to the capital, everyone will have forgotten me!” Ji Yuanhui would argue. “The power will be carved up by the others. How will I stand my ground?”

Or he would say, “Ji Lingyi is only six. Our mother is gone, and I am not there. The lunatics in the palace will devour her.”

“Your sister is protected by Consort Shu; nothing will happen to her,” Zhang Dingguang scolded him for his impatience. “Your father rarely does a good thing, but sending you away was an act of protection disguised as demotion. The Prime Minister’s family dominates the capital now. With your donkey-like temper, if you don’t temper your character, you won’t even know how you died!”

Ji Yuanhui remained defiant and was eventually confined to his quarters.

When others brought food, Ji Yuanhui would throw a tantrum and refuse to eat. Eventually, the task of delivering meals fell to Pei Xu.

Seeing it was Pei Xu, Ji Yuanhui didn’t get angry. He simply looked listless and beckoned him. “Come here, talk to me.”

Pei Xu sat obediently beside him. He didn’t urge him to eat but asked, “Why did the Prince argue with Uncle?”

“He always scolds me.” Ji Yuanhui’s lips thinned into a line as he lowered his gaze, looking defeated. “He says that besides a big temper and brute strength, I know nothing. He says if I can’t compete with my brothers, even if I escape with my life, I’ll starve to death.”

Pei Xu listened semi-comprehendingly, but he understood the part about starving. “Then I will learn to cook. I won’t let the Prince starve.”

Ji Yuanhui looked at him. “You’re willing to follow me? If I lose, I’ll have nothing. You’d still follow me then?”

Pei Xu clenched his small fists and nodded earnestly. “Yes!”

Ji Yuanhui added, “He also says my mouth is like a sieve—I let everything out.”

Pei Xu said, “Then I will stay with the Prince and remind you not to speak too much.”

Ji Yuanhui’s mood lifted slightly. “He also says my personality is like a firecracker—one spark and I explode. I scare the girls away, so I’ll never find a wife.”

Pei Xu thought for a moment. “Then… then I will marry the Prince in the future! Then the Prince will have a wife. I am not afraid of you.”

Ji Yuanhui burst out laughing, reaching out to messily rub the boy’s face. “You little fool, do you even know what a wife is?”

Pei Xu, despite his protests as his face was being squished, continued, “I know. Aunt is Uncle’s wife. Prince, stop rubbing my face.”

“Silly Rongrong.” Ji Yuanhui smiled, his playful spirit returning. “If I really want to marry you when you grow up, don’t you dare regret it.”

“I won’t regret it,” Pei Xu said, extending his pinky. “Pinky swear.”

Ji Yuanhui hooked his own pinky around it. “Fine. Pinky swear.”

These peaceful days lasted for two years, until one day Zhou Shining, traveling with a merchant uncle, stopped by Longxi to visit Ji Yuanhui. He saw Pei Xu by the Prince’s side.

Zhou Shining let out a yelp as if he’d seen a ghost. “Pei Xu! You’re not dead!”

Pei Xu ducked fearfully behind Ji Yuanhui. Ji Yuanhui shielded him and looked at Zhou Shining. “You know him?”

“More than just ‘know’ him,” Zhou Shining said. “He’s my cousin. Two years ago, his father was an official in Binzhou. On the journey back to the capital for a promotion, they were caught in the unrest. The family was separated. We thought he was long gone… I never imagined he’d be here with you.”

When Pei Xu’s mother, Zhou Wenyu, was still alive, they had maintained ties with the Zhou family.

“I must write to my uncle immediately,” Zhou Shining muttered to himself, then peered at Pei Xu again. “Where is Aunt? Why are you alone?”

Pei Xu’s face turned deathly pale. His head began to throb.

Ji Yuanhui remembered the scene when he first found Pei Xu. Realizing something was wrong, he frowned and interrupted Zhou Shining’s questioning. “Go sit in the front hall. He’s not feeling well; I’ll speak with you in a moment.”

“Eh? Why are you the one talking about his business?” Zhou Shining caught Ji Yuanhui’s murderous glare and belatedly realized he had asked something he shouldn’t have. He shrank back. “Fine, I’ll head over first.”

Ji Yuanhui helped Pei Xu back to his room and watched him drink a cup of tea. “Better?”

“I’m fine,” Pei Xu managed a smile. “Just now, for some reason, my head hurt.”

“That’s good.” Ji Yuanhui felt relieved. “I’ll go to the front to see what else he has to say.”

Pei Xu nodded, but as Ji Yuanhui turned to leave, Pei Xu tugged at his sleeve. Ji Yuanhui turned back. “What is it? Still feeling unwell?”

An inexplicable fear rose in Pei Xu’s heart, unsettling him, though he couldn’t describe it. “Prince, I am a little afraid…”

“I am here, what is there to fear?” Ji Yuanhui comforted him. “I’m just going to say a few words. I’ll be back soon.”

Pei Xu remained uneasy, but with no valid reason to keep the Prince, he finally nodded. “Okay.”

No one knew what the two talked about, but when Zhou Shining saw Pei Xu the next day, the way he looked at him had changed.

He was never good at hiding his emotions, and the pity in his gaze was so obvious it made Pei Xu feel a chill of disgust. Pei Xu hated being looked at that way; it was the look one gave a cat or a dog, not a living person with the power to decide their own destiny.

While writing a letter to the Pei family in the capital, Ji Yuanhui asked him if he was happy to be reuniting with his family. Since Pei Xu refused to write it himself, Ji Yuanhui assumed he was merely overwhelmed by homesickness and wrote it on his behalf.

Pei Xu’s stomach churned with nausea. He suppressed the feeling, telling himself it was just the emotional upheaval, and gave an unnatural nod.

Upon learning that Pei Xu was alive and had been staying with the Prince, the Pei family hurried to send a group to fetch him—afraid he might suddenly remember something that would damage Pei Ji’s reputation. Seeing how quickly they arrived, Ji Yuanhui assumed the family truly cherished him.

Since his legitimate family had come and seemed to value him, Ji Yuanhui had no reason to keep him. He could only stuff a chaotic assortment of gifts into Pei Xu’s bags at their parting, urging him to eat well, sleep well, and take care of himself.

“You go ahead. It shouldn’t be long before I can return to the capital, too.” Ji Yuanhui spoke with more confidence than he felt, but he smiled anyway. “When that time comes, I’ll take you riding again.”

Pei Xu clutched the small bow Ji Yuanhui had made for him, his eyes and nose red from crying. “The Prince must write to me.”

Ji Yuanhui clenched his fists, resisting the urge to wipe the boy’s tears. He only said he would.

Later, Ji Yuanhui’s letters were sent out one by one, and without exception, they all vanished into the void.

As disappointment piled up, suspicion took root.

Did he get blinded by the riches of the capital? Did he lose interest in a disgraced, unfavored prince exiled to the border? It made sense; the Pei family was a rising star. Supporting the Eldest Prince or the Crown Prince was far safer than supporting him.

But what if his family was intercepting the letters? What if Pei Xu himself didn’t know?

Ji Yuanhui was in a state of mental turmoil.

On the other side, Pei Xu’s foreboding came true. In the capital, the Pei family did not show the warmth they had shown in Longxi. Everyone watched him with icy stares; mockery, provocation, and harshness became his daily routine.

Especially his father—his first look at Pei Xu was filled with suspicion and wariness, as if looking at a hot potato that he dared not drop but found painful to hold.

Pei Xu couldn’t understand why, until one day he was pushed into a pond by several younger siblings under the guise of “play.” After burning with fever for a night, he remembered everything.

The doctor arrived the next day; the Pei family didn’t actually dare let him die. Since his return, the Pei manor had frequently received letters from Longxi. That Prince was a notorious “demon king” who dared to defy even the Emperor when enraged; though he was far away, his shadow remained. Furthermore, it was the second young master of the Zhou family—Pei Xu’s own cousin—who had identified him. If Pei Xu died, and the Zhou family made a scene, they wouldn’t be able to explain it.

Thus, once Pei Xu recovered, he was packed off to Dongling to study. Since they couldn’t kill him, they would send him away so he was out of sight and out of mind.

Although the Pei family was fairly certain he remembered nothing, they still viewed him as a threat and kept him under constant surveillance. For four years, under their watchful eyes, Pei Xu acted timid and obedient, appearing to be a “dough-man” who could be kneaded and flattened without resistance.

Finally, on the eve of Ji Yuanhui’s return to the capital, Pei Xu was summoned to Pei Ji’s study.

Besides himself and Pei Ji, there was a third person: the Crown Prince.

That year, Pei Xu was fifteen. His features were exquisite, like a piece of radiant jade, bearing a striking resemblance to his mother.

They wanted him to seduce Ji Yuanhui. Whether by fair means or foul, he was to make Ji Yuanhui marry him and keep him close, reporting every move the Prince made.

He lowered his eyes, concealing his brilliance, and timidly agreed.

Looking at his pathetic display, the Crown Prince let out a sneer. “With such a low-class manner, I wonder what my third brother is so obsessed with.”

Pei Xu kept his head bowed, silent.

When they met again, Pei Xu had been selected as Ji Yuanhui’s study companion. With just one look, Ji Yuanhui was certain: this was still his Rongrong, the one who followed him step for step. The gaze Pei Xu turned toward him was still filled with the same old attachment and warmth—like a piece of warm jade, heating the touch.