The White Moonlight Turns Out to Be a Black-Hearted Lotus - Chapter 13

Ji Yuanhui had given up on correcting the man’s way of addressing him. He pointed instead to the Taoist’s hair. “You’ve grown black hair.”

It was a strange thing to say; usually, people only commented when someone grew white hair, but for this Taoist, the appearance of black strands seemed uncanny.

“Oh.” The Taoist’s reaction was flat. He twined a lock of black hair around his finger, circling it a few times, and then threw Ji Yuanhui a flirtatious wink. “An old man acting trendy—is that not allowed?”

Ji Yuanhui felt that the Taoist truly had a foul mouth, but he felt even more foolish for knowing the man would act out and still trying to communicate with him.

Brushing the goosebumps off his arms, Ji Yuanhui stated his purpose directly: “Do you have any way to treat nightmares?”

The Taoist let out a long, winding “Oh,” his expression turning serious as if it were a matter of great importance. “That child is having nightmares again?”

Expectation flickered in Ji Yuanhui’s eyes. “Yes.”

“If someone is sick, go find a doctor. Why come to me?” The Taoist leaned back away from him. “Superstitious reliance on ghosts and gods is undesirable.”

Ji Yuanhui couldn’t help but slam his hand on the table. “You’re a Taoist! How can you say that?”

The Taoist raised a finger to his lips. “Shh, shh. This is a pure Buddhist sanctuary. Silence, please.”

Ji Yuanhui glanced at the statues of the Three Pure Ones enshrined in the room and was momentarily speechless with exasperation. “This is a Taoist temple.”

“That is not important. The gods do not care about such things. How would a god have the time to care about what little flies are buzzing about…”

As the Taoist spoke, a dull thud suddenly came from the inner chamber, sounding as if someone had fallen from a bed to the floor.

Ji Yuanhui instinctively moved to look toward the sound, but he was blocked by the Taoist, who shifted his body as if by accident.

The Taoist quickly changed the subject. “Speaking of which, I happen to have a few small trinkets for warding off evil…”

Ji Yuanhui looked up and asked bluntly, “What do you want me to pay with?”

“We are like family; why speak of buying and selling? It’s so distant.” The Taoist smiled squint-eyed. “Help me build a house in the Plum Garden. It must be beautiful, a place where one can listen to the wind and watch the rain. It must also be sturdy—seal all the windows tightly so they don’t rattle or open with a simple tug. I intend to use it to keep someone.”

Ji Yuanhui raised an eyebrow. “Keep whom?”

The Taoist’s lips curled; he didn’t seem to want to mention it. “An enemy.”

Since it was rare for the man to speak properly, Ji Yuanhui asked a few more questions in passing. “You’re building a beautiful house and providing good food and drink for an enemy? Shouldn’t you capture them and subject them to severe torture?”

The Taoist said angrily, “I am his creditor! If he dies from mistreatment, who will repay the debt to me?”

Ji Yuanhui found this quite novel. “You actually have extra money to lend to others? If you keep him locked up like that, how is he supposed to earn money to pay you back?”

The Taoist’s face fell, his expression turning displeased. “A debt of conscience. He lost his conscience; that is not something that can be paid back with money.”

He clearly did not wish to continue discussing the matter. He pulled out a small box and handed it over. “Take it.”

Ji Yuanhui opened the box and found a longevity lock that appeared to be made of silver.

“You carry such an aura of slaughter that even ghosts would be troubled by you. Just standing there is enough to ward off evil; what filthy thing would dare enter your gates?” The Taoist shook his head. “This thing is just for peace of mind. If I didn’t give it to you, you wouldn’t be satisfied—you want to scrounge up everything for him.”

Ji Yuanhui was still looking at the longevity lock. His head ached slightly; he felt as though he had seen this object somewhere before.

Where…

It seemed to be a dream. Pei Xu had worn it in a dream.

Ji Yuanhui tried to remember more, but the pain in his head became so sharp that he clutched his forehead in agony.

“If you can’t remember, don’t force it. The time hasn’t come yet.” The Taoist poured a cup of tea and slowly pushed it toward him. “It’s useless even if you burst your brain thinking about it. Just wait a little longer.”

Ji Yuanhui took the tea and gulped it down. The piercing pain in his mind eased slightly. He looked at the Taoist. “What do you know?”

The Taoist poured himself some tea. “I know nothing at all.”

Ji Yuanhui felt this might be because he had been having nightmares lately and wasn’t sleeping well. He said gloomily, “Why was that pill of yours useless when I took it? I can still hear what he’s thinking, and I’m still constantly having nightmares.”

The Taoist drank his tea lazily. “Is it really just a nightmare?”

“If it’s not a nightmare, what else could it be…” Ji Yuanhui vaguely remembered the births, deaths, and illnesses in the dream. “My whole life couldn’t possibly be only as long as a single dream.”

The Taoist looked as if he had heard something amusing. “Do you truly think your life is longer than a dream?”

“What?”

The Taoist gave a couple of ambiguous snickers. “Humans always like to think highly of themselves, believing their lives are so grand and long.”

“I’ll give you two more reminders: things that ward off evil cannot cure illnesses, and they certainly cannot cure a sickness of the heart. To truly treat a disease, you still need to find a doctor.” The Taoist began yawning to drive his guest away. “I’m going to doze for a bit longer. You may go now.”

Having said that, he didn’t care whether Ji Yuanhui had heard him. He buried his face in his arms and fell asleep at the desk.

…

When Ji Yuanhui returned to the manor, the physician he had ordered to be summoned before his departure was currently administering acupuncture to Pei Xu. Ji Yuanhui found a place to sit and stayed by his side, watching.

The long, thin silver needles pierced the skin and entered the body. Ji Yuanhui frowned as he watched, feeling restless and uneasy, yet he couldn’t bring himself to disturb the physician.

After the physician finished the treatment, Ji Yuanhui sat closer and asked, “Does it hurt?”

As soon as he asked, he felt the question was redundant. It wasn’t as if crying out in pain would stop the needles.

Pei Xu shook his head slightly. “It doesn’t matter.”

Ji Yuanhui asked again, “How long must the needles stay in?”

The physician replied, “Two quarters of an hour.”

He waited for the physician to remove the needles and pack his things. As the man was leaving, Ji Yuanhui rose to see him out. After walking a few paces, he asked, “Old gentleman, how is my consort’s illness?”

The physician spoke very tactfully. “The Young Lord’s ailment of stagnant heart-qi has accumulated for months at the shortest, and years at the longest; naturally, it cannot be cured in three or five days. Since it is a sickness of the heart, the improvements medicine can offer are truly limited. If Your Highness can stay by the Young Lord’s side to provide comfort and companionship, I fear it would be far more effective than my medicine.”

After sending the physician away, Ji Yuanhui turned back and leaned against the bedroom doorframe.

The sunlight was excellent, and tiny dust motes floated silently. Pei Xu sat there, moving very slowly to straighten his clothes. There was no expression on his face, the ends of his brows were turned down, and his entire being was shrouded in a layer of wordless suffering.

Is this how he looks when he is alone?

An inexplicable panic rose in Ji Yuanhui’s heart. He felt that perhaps because Pei Xu always smiled when he saw him, he had overlooked something. And what he had overlooked was enough to make him suffer in regret for a lifetime.

Pei Xu saw the shadow stretched out by the sun on the floor. When he looked up, he met Ji Yuanhui’s tightly furrowed brow and a face filled with worry and self-reproach. He froze for a moment, then began to smile. “What is wrong, Your Highness?”

When Pei Xu smiled, he was very gentle. It was as if he had suddenly stepped out of a painting of a beauty, becoming instantly vivid. Because he smiled so often in front of others, this vividness quickly masked his sorrow, making one instinctively ignore the fact that his face was actually very pale, his lips were faint in color, and he was not always happy.

“It’s nothing, I just suddenly remembered…” The words at the tip of Ji Yuanhui’s tongue took a turn. “I remembered those two years after I returned to the capital from Longxi when you were my study companion. You were still with the Pei family then. Life must have been very difficult, wasn’t it?”

“It was alright.” Pei Xu’s tone was flat. “They were still counting on me to marry into Your Highness’s manor to act as their internal informant, so life was passable. If there was anything bad about it, it was probably that I felt disgusted whenever I saw them.”

Ji Yuanhui sat down beside him, his voice very soft. “You still smile even when you’re unhappy?”

“What choice was there?” Pei Xu lowered his eyes, his emotions unreadable. “I had to make a living, to look pleasing to them, so I could survive under their hands. If they found me unlikable and chose someone else, then all my previous efforts would have been in vain.”

“Why didn’t you tell me when you were sad?”

Pei Xu curled his lips slightly, appearing as though he no longer cared much about the past. “Actually, it’s hard to tell the difference… I’ve been immersed in this emotion for so long that I can’t quite distinguish whether I am being calm or being sad.”

Ji Yuanhui was silent for a while. He revealed the longevity lock that he had been clutching until it was warm. “A little trinket I bought on a whim,” he said casually. “Sit a bit closer, I’ll put it on for you.”

Pei Xu reached out to touch the longevity lock hanging from his neck. The object was still warm, carrying Ji Yuanhui’s body heat. It had clearly been held and rubbed in his hand for a long time; if it were truly bought “on a whim,” he wouldn’t have been this mindful of it.

Was it because of his nightmare last night that he went out early this morning to seek this for him?

Pei Xu looked up slightly. Ji Yuanhui was still frowning, studying how to tie the knot so that it would be secure. His expression was incredibly earnest, as if he were performing some monumental task.

Like a petal falling onto the surface of water, ripples gently spread through Pei Xu’s heart, circling out one after another.

“There, finished.” Ji Yuanhui tied the knot and stepped back.

Pei Xu’s smile was shallow and clear. “Does Your Highness actually believe in Buddhism?”

Ji Yuanhui wanted to say that this was obtained from a Taoist temple and had nothing to do with Buddha. But he felt that explaining too much would make him look stupid, so he simply said, “I don’t. I just think you look good wearing this. Do you believe in it?”

Pei Xu shook his head. “I don’t believe in it either. I only believe that things are achieved through human effort.”

Ji Yuanhui stroked his cheek. “There are so many people who pray to gods and Buddha, yet I haven’t seen the disasters of this world stop for anyone.”

He leaned in close, lowering his head to press a tender kiss to the corner of Pei Xu’s lips. “Next time you have a nightmare, just call for me. The gods and Buddhas may not have the kindness to save people, but your Highness does.”

Pei Xu’s eyelashes trembled as he softly replied, “Alright.”

Ji Yuanhui held him, lingering and kissing him for a while, before speaking in a very gentle voice. “I’ve requested a few days of leave. I was too busy previously to get away, but I’ve finally found some free time recently. It also happens to be near your birthday, so I’ve cleared my schedule to spend a few good days with you.”

Pei Xu tilted his head back, watching him with a skeptical gaze.

Ji Yuanhui gave a light cough. “Don’t look at me like that. Am I the kind of person who would let petty love and romance interfere with official business? It truly just happens that I am free lately; it’s absolutely not purely for the sake of accompanying you.”

Pei Xu asked, “Really?”

Ji Yuanhui nodded with certainty. “That is definitely the truth.”

Pei Xu seemed to still have doubts. Ji Yuanhui hugged him tightly and gave him a little shake. “Quickly, think if there’s anywhere you want to go or anything you want me to do with you. Once this chance is gone, there won’t be another.”

Whenever Ji Yuanhui clung to him and acted so affectionately, Pei Xu would inevitably recall the Ji Yuanhui from when they first met—the teenage Ji Yuanhui.

The Ji Yuanhui, who was constantly saying “None of your business” or “None of my business,” had a huge temper and was very fierce toward him.