The General Was Pregnant with the Emperor's Child - Chapter 29

On the lounge chair in the side hall of the Imperial Study, Ye Wuyou was crying out in pain, “Aiyai, aiyai!” The “object” supporting his waist was truly powerful!

Ye Wuyou, who lived in the saddle, didn’t even need reins; he could hang upside down from Zhuifeng using only his stirrups. With such waist power, how could he possibly fail to grip Xiao Yun’an’s waist?

He simply wanted to be “taught a lesson.”

Indeed, a spring dream was best. Xiao Yun’an granted his every whim; the Imperial grace was no longer a violent storm like a few days ago, but instead moved as gently and slowly as spring water. The “lesson” had long since ended, and Ye Wuyou smacked his lips in reminiscence.

The doctor told him to be moderate, but his brain wouldn’t listen. As long as he saw Xiao Yun’an’s face, Ye Wuyou couldn’t contain himself.

Sigh… lust delays business. I was too busy deceiving the Sovereign just now and forgot to test the Emperor’s reality again.

There were no footsteps, nor any other sound, yet a person suddenly appeared in the side hall.

Xiao Yun’an, dressed in casual robes, sat beside Ye Wuyou and placed a hand gently on his waist.

Ye Wuyou gave a sensitive shudder and flipped over, facing the wall.

Scared to death! Why hasn’t this spring dream vanished yet?

Having his waist touched, Ye Wuyou guiltily covered his slightly showing lower abdomen.

“Minister Ye has worked hard.” Xiao Yun’an’s warm palm pressed back onto Ye Wuyou’s lower back, rubbing it with a force that was neither too heavy nor too light.

“Your… Your Majesty! How could this subject trouble Your Majesty…” Ye Wuyou was aghast, yet his body honestly leaned an inch closer to Xiao Yun’an.

“Enough. If you can’t learn how to be a loyal subject, don’t try to fake it.” Xiao Yun’an’s lip curled. The hand rubbing the waist slid down and gave Ye Wuyou’s rounded buttocks a crisp smack! “A poor imitation.”

“So this subject is a sycophant…” Ye Wuyou’s face reddened. He “realized” the truth and wiggled into Xiao Yun’an’s embrace, feigning surprise again. “If a sycophant holds an army of a hundred thousand, isn’t Your Majesty in danger!”

Xiao Yun’an reached out to catch the Ye Wuyou who was about to wiggle himself off the chair. “With sycophants in power, Zhen is forced to sacrifice his body.”

Ye Wuyou shook with laughter. He tried to push away the leaning Xiao Yun’an, instantly recovering a serious expression. “Your Majesty, the sycophant’s waist is about to break. Please sacrifice yourself next time.”

Very good. This one isn’t even over and his Great General is already pining for the next time. Xiao Yun’an realized he had truly wasted his time learning that “forced entry” technique.

“Ye Mian, if only you were this willing before Zhen in person,” Xiao Yun’an muttered while rubbing the waist, his voice carrying three parts of a complaint.

Ye Wuyou didn’t take this dream-version of the Emperor seriously at all. He looked up and babbled back: “This subject wants to, but Your Majesty never cooperates. Just touching a sleeve scares you away.”

Xiao Yun’an choked. He recalled that, without this ridiculous shared dream, he would have continued to gloomily push Ye Wuyou thousands of miles away.

No wonder Ye Wuyou only wants to dream and refuses to write back. He was scared by the Imperial majesty.

While Xiao Yun’an was reflecting, Ye Wuyou wasn’t finished. He gritted his teeth with eight parts of disdain, grabbing the sleeve of the dream-Emperor and continuing contentedly: “Dreaming is still better. This subject can grab whenever I want, and if I don’t want to grab, I can just tear it open… mmm…”

The Emperor in the dream initiated a kiss. Ye Wuyou’s pupils shrank; his waist, which had just straightened, went soft again. His brain hesitated for half a second before he lifted his hips and continued to shrink into Xiao Yun’an’s embrace.

Ye Wuyou was kissed into a daze, leaking several “charming” gasps. Simultaneously, he prepared himself mentally to face the doctor’s furious nagging later.

But Xiao Yun’an only kissed him. Even the hand Ye Wuyou tried to sneak into the Emperor’s robes was pulled back out.

“Zhen will change slowly in the future. Minister Ye, do not cause trouble.”

Ye Wuyou shuddered and woke up directly from the dream.

Ahhh! What do I do! I was impulsive and ‘slept’ with the Emperor again!

Waking up, Ye Wuyou skillfully removed his soiled underpants. Seeing no blood, he clutched the quilt with a red face and a racing heart.

Didn’t the doctor say the conditions for a shared dream were strict? How did I drag the Emperor into a dream in broad daylight… was it a nap?

Disturbed, Ye Wuyou lifted the tent flap. A blast of cold wind hit him, and he let out a loud sneeze under the starry sky.

Looking down, his face turned red again. He promptly retreated back into the tent.

Ahhh! My brain is useless! How could I walk out wearing only an inner robe!

He stared gloomily at the underpants lying on the bed.

It was only halfway through the hour of Yin (3-5 AM); he could sleep for another hour, but he didn’t dare touch the pillow. He changed into clean navy-blue robes, pushed down the “excitement” that cannot be described, and sat cross-legged at the table to write a confession.

[This subject Ye Mian, bold and reckless, openly provoked the Sovereign in a dream. By law, I should receive sixty strokes of the cane, but please, Your Majesty, consider that this is my first offense… or just forget it… if Your Majesty is truly angry, then this subject can only offer his buttocks for punishment.]

Ye Wuyou summoned a new “Zero-One” pigeon and stuffed the note into the tube.

The pigeon disappeared within fifteen minutes. As he snapped out of his daze, Ye Wuyou suddenly realized a new possibility.

I didn’t know the Emperor in the dream was the real Xiao Yun’an, so the Emperor shouldn’t know I was the real Ye Wuyou…

Wait. I just outed myself.

Ye Wuyou flattened himself on the table like a pancake.

“Baby, it’s over. Your dad is going to make you suffer. Sixty strokes… can you even survive that? Wooo!” Ye Wuyou clutched his belly and whimpered. His abdomen began to throb with a timely downward pressure…

Suddenly, he felt a wave of moisture below, as if something were leaking…

His face paled. He clutched his belly and ran out of the tent, dragging the sleeping doctor awake despite the dark of night.

“Doctor! Save my child! He’s scared to death!!!”

The doctor was violently shaken awake. He saw Ye Wuyou’s tear-reddened eyes. Despite the noise, he rubbed his eyes in disbelief.

“General?” Ye Wuyou shoved his wrist into the doctor’s hand. “My belly feels like it’s deflating!”

The doctor snapped awake and took the pulse

However, the fetal pulse was peaceful. Instead, it was Ye Wuyou who was “over-heated” due to anxiety.

“Rest assured, General. The Little Prince is fine. Nothing happened.”

“Then why did I suddenly leak…” Ye Wuyou went silent. He lowered his head, his ears turning red.

“Leak what?” The doctor quickly understood. He remembered the time Ye Wuyou returned from the battlefield and was frozen with fear over a few drops of blood. “General, you aren’t three months along yet. It’s normal to have some spotting if you’re stimulated during early pregnancy.”

“But my belly hurts too…”

“That’s because the Little Prince is growing.” The doctor looked at Ye Wuyou’s belly, which was a bit rounder than a month ago. He guided the General’s hand to his own abdomen. “Pregnancy is hard work. You must relax. You just disturbed the fetal Qi recently; the most important thing is to stay happy. If you are unhappy, the Little Prince is uncomfortable, which is why he’s acting up.”

“…Not even born yet and he’s already learned my bad habits of bothering people.” Ye Wuyou sighed and sat on the floor, gently rubbing his belly.

The doctor teased while pulling up his quilt: “So the General knows he bothers people.”

In the morning, the Imperial tonics arrived.

Ye Wuyou couldn’t hide his smile as he accepted the rewards. This time, there was a private letter from Xiao Yun’an tucked inside.

He pulled it out, turned away, and sniffed it. Indeed, even the envelope has a faint bamboo scent. It’s the Emperor’s hand!

He was about to leave, but the official who delivered the goods stopped him. “General Ye, His Majesty said these tonics are all for you to nourish your body.”

Ye Wuyou was confused: “What do I need to nourish?” Did Xiao Yun’an discover my identity?!

“His Majesty is concerned. Eunuch Gao said the prescriptions and the list are all inside the letter.”

Ye Wuyou returned to his tent, and the bamboo scent no longer smelled sweet. After much hesitation, he went to the chef and ate three large bowls of rice to fill up the “little guy” before returning to battle the letter.

Ye Mian, oh Ye Mian! You kidnapped the Emperor to a brothel; what are you afraid to face! Open it! At worst, I’ll use the ‘Imperial Heir’ in my belly to buy a path of life for Yang Shen, the doctor, and the chef!

He tore the envelope open and pulled out two sheets of paper. He unfolded the one covered in writing, but the unfamiliar handwriting made him freeze.

Is the Emperor so angry he hired a ghostwriter? So were Xiao Yun’an’s words last night actually a warning? And my ‘trashy’ brain was so blinded by lust that I didn’t notice… and then I fled… Ah!!! And I sent a pigeon to confess!

He felt the small characters on the paper were so bright they blinded him. Otherwise, how could he be seeing the words “Tonics for Virility and Kidney Strengthening”?

Ye Wuyou, oh Ye Wuyou! At a time like this, can you throw away the ‘yellow trash’ in your head…

He focused his vision. He wasn’t wrong. It was indeed a list for “Kidney Strengthening.”

With a complex expression, he slammed the list onto the table and picked up the other sheet with less ink. This one finally held the familiar brushstrokes.

Fifteen minutes later, Ye Wuyou’s ears were red. He crumpled the letter into a ball but couldn’t bring himself to throw it away. He rolled the paper ball against his burning cheek.

Who! Who talked nonsense in front of Xiao Yun’an! Who said I was kidney-deficient!!!

He unfolded the messy letter again and locked onto the suspect. Yang Shen! It was definitely him!

In the sleeping quarters filled with Calming Incense, Xiao Yun’an clutched his aching brow. Under the influence of the incense, he had managed to sleep until the usual hour for morning court. Gao Su extinguished the incense and brought him tea.

“Gao Su,” Xiao Yun’an said suddenly. “Should Zhen lock Ye Mian away in the harem?”

CRASH. Gao Su’s head slammed against the floor.