Still Secretly In Love With My Enemy Today - Chapter 44

Chapter 44: 

I had never seen Xie Huaishuang like this.

Under the greenish lamplight, the swaying shadow finally merged with the face I had envisioned a thousand times a day—but it was entirely different from what I had imagined.

He stood there expressionless, his sword drawn. His clothes were stained beyond recognition, and the blood splattered across his face and neck had yet to congeal, slowly trickling down in dark red streaks. The halo of the lamp caught his eyes, reflecting two glints of eerie, ghostly fire.

—How exactly did he get here?

The sound of his sword tip dragging against the floor was sharp and piercing. He came to a halt in front of me, his hand trembling violently when he reached out.

My vision began to blur again, rippling like a reflection in water. I started to suspect that this, too, was a hallucination. I tried to lean against the wall, but my hand didn’t meet the hard, coarse texture I expected.

It was thin and soft, with several protruding sword calluses, carrying a hint of warmth—though the grip was terrifyingly strong. Knowing it was likely a delusion, I still instinctively tried to explain myself to him.

“It’s okay, I’m fine…”

Only then did Xie Huaishuang’s features soften slightly. A flicker of light returned to his eyes as he stared straight at me. His lips twitched stiffly, as if he were trying to say something.

“No wonder Master fell at your hands back then. You people from Iron Cloud City truly know how to bewitch the soul.”

The voice was all too familiar from the past few days. That face, so similar in silhouette to Xie Huaishuang, suddenly appeared in the green light. What was Xie Huaishuang trying to say that was so important he didn’t even notice the sword tip emerging behind him?

By the time I saw it, it was too late. I had no weapon. In that split second, I only had enough time to yank him toward me and swap our positions.

When the sword tip pierced through my abdomen, I tried to endure it, but a gasp escaped my throat anyway. Pressed against the wall, Xie Huaishuang’s eyes widened in shock.

“It’s okay…”

The meager light I had managed to find was once again swallowed by darkness. As I leaned against him, it hit me—this time, it really wasn’t a hallucination.

In my fading consciousness, I heard a weapon clang to the ground behind me. Xie Huaishuang’s expression was terrifyingly cold; the blood splattered on me was still hot. My vision began to swim.

“I’m fine… fine.”

When he wasn’t there, I could always hold my breath and endure. But seeing him made all the suppressed worry, fear, longing, and maddening obsession burst forth like a flood. Before, only my shoulder had ached, but now even my chest hurt—every heartbeat was a sharp, pulling pang.

But this was impossible. Him, alone… how on earth did he get here by himself?

Xie Huaishuang was saying something very quickly. I wanted to listen, but I couldn’t hear a thing. I could only repeat those same words to him over and over. He only trembled like this when he was truly afraid.

“Don’t worry… I’m good.”

Actually, I wasn’t good at all. The new and old wounds layered over each other made me want to curl up and howl; I felt burning hot everywhere. Feeling myself about to black out completely, I started doing what I’d done for the past few days—murmuring his name to myself.

Xie Huaishuang, Xie Huaishuang, Xie Huaishuang. He was carrying me on his back.

Just say it a few more times, and it’ll be okay.

Xie Huaishuang, Xie Huaishuang, Xie Huaishuang. But why would he throw his life away to break in here?

…Xie Huaishuang is the most foolish person in the world. The most foolish person in the world is Xie Huaishuang.

Xie Huaishuang, Xie Huaishuang, Xie Huaishuang.

By the time I reached the countless-th repetition, that green glow of the lamp finally floated back into view. I vaguely heard people talking, voices rising and falling. I thought I heard the sounds of fighting, surging like a tide and then receding, only to return again, endless.

Look at me, look at me.

I caught those two sentences, opened my eyes, and saw only a continuous, chaotic blackness. The lingering scent of blood seemed even thicker. I wanted to sleep, but the smell was too stifling. I moved slightly, and my shoulder flared with agonizing pain, dragging my consciousness back from the depths.

Don’t sleep, you must not sleep.

Xie Huaishuang was repeating those two phrases. A drop of something fell on my hand; it was hot.

How did I end up on Xie Huaishuang’s back?

In the gloom, a cold glint flashed. My hand reacted faster than my brain—I grabbed the blade before it could reach him and pushed it back, only realizing moments later that my palm had started to scream in pain as well.

The blood fell onto his clothes. Silence returned. Xie Huaishuang seemed to be rushing somewhere, nearly stumbling once. He started calling my name again. This time, I finally succeeded in forcing a sound from my throat. His grip on me tightened instantly.

Hold on, endure a little longer, soon—I’m taking you out right now.

His voice was still soft, the end of his sentences trembling. His movements never stopped; they were mechanical, numb—the blade entering, pulling out, then entering again. Every time I drifted awake, I saw countless figures collapsing around us.

How was he supposed to get out while carrying me? Just a moment ago, I could speak a few words and help him block some of the hidden arrows, but now I couldn’t even manage a word of comfort.

Xie Huaishuang didn’t speak. I heard him stifling a sob.

“Don’t hold it in… cry if you want to. I… can’t see right now anyway. It’s not embarrassing.”

He still ignored me. I gathered a bit of strength and patted him. “Put me down… save yourself.”

No response. I moved, trying to climb down on my own, but his hold on me became even more vice-like.

“If you move one more time… I’ll… I’ll kill you right now and be buried here with you.”

It was the first time he had ever spoken to me with such gritted-teeth intensity.

From that moment until we truly fought our way out of the Temple’s prison, he didn’t say another word.

…

When I woke up again, the surroundings were much quieter. Blurry images filtered in, remaining still for a long time before slowly forming clearer outlines. I realized I was in an unfamiliar room. It was small and dim, cluttered with various things shrouded in hazy light.

“You’re awake?”

The figure beside me immediately leaned in anxiously. I squeezed my eyes shut and opened them again; Xie Huaishuang’s face gradually came into focus.

—Why are his eyes so red?

As soon as the question surfaced, I already knew the answer. Before the tears could fall, he quickly wiped them away with his hand.

“How do you feel? Where does it hurt?”

Seeing him like this, my heart was what hurt.

“We lost them. Those people from the Temple… all killed. They didn’t catch up, they won’t catch up… wait for me, I’ll take you back, back to Iron Cloud City.”

I wanted to speak, to praise him as I usually did, but I had no strength in my body. My throat wouldn’t obey; I couldn’t say a thing. I could only stare at him.

Why was it still so blurry? I just wanted to see him clearly.

“Doctor Ye’s medicine… I brought it with me. I ran into her on the way… I came too fast, didn’t bring everything… where does it hurt?”

He had just wiped his eyes, but tears were gathering again, visible in the dim light. I wanted to reach up and wipe them for him, only to find myself wrapped tightly like a mummy, unable to move.

I must look terrible. I thought it would be better if Xie Huaishuang didn’t look at me right now.

Fortunately, my mouth wasn’t wrapped. I tried twice, but couldn’t lift my hand, so I could only brush against his fingertips and gather enough breath to speak: “Don’t cry.”

“Do you have any idea what you look like right now?” Xie Huaishuang’s voice trembled the moment he spoke. “Why… why did you block that for me? Do you even know…”

He stopped abruptly, unable to continue. He didn’t even bother to wipe the tears, letting them track down his face.

My vision finally began to clear properly. It wasn’t just his eyes that were red; he had several wounds of his own, roughly bandaged. He looked haggard beyond belief. I didn’t know how many days and nights he had gone without sleep.

How did he end up in such a state?

“Stop talking for a moment.” He frantically pulled out a small porcelain bottle. “Take this… Doctor Ye said this will at least stall long enough to get back…”

A pill was pressed into my mouth. It dissolved instantly. That exceptionally bitter taste was definitely the work of Ye Jingwei.

I couldn’t help but frown. Xie Huaishuang gripped the bottle, stunned. “I didn’t bring sugar… I didn’t bring anything else… I didn’t mean to…”

He murmured low, almost in a daze. I didn’t dare imagine what he had put himself through these past few days.

In less than four days, he had tracked the Temple, found the location, and then, a single man with a single sword, fought his way from the outskirts all the way to the depths of the prison.

I didn’t dare imagine—why he would bet his life on me so recklessly.

The bitter medicine seemed to work. A quarter of an hour after taking it, I could manage full sentences.

“I’m… all better now.” I nudged his fingertips again, stopping three times for every sentence. “Really. Look, I’ve… I’ve had worse injuries than this before…”

Xie Huaishuang acted as if he hadn’t heard me, his knuckles white as he gripped the small bottle.

I touched his hand again. “Don’t worry about me. Look at… at yourself. Go rest…”

Xie Huaishuang remained deaf to my words. He gritted his teeth, suddenly lifting his gaze to stare directly at me, and a moment later, he lunged forward, pressing his head down.

Half of his body leaned against the side of the bed, his right hand propping himself up beside me, making sure not to put any weight on me. But the kiss that followed was a stark contrast to his careful posture. When he kissed me before, it was always gentle and accompanied by a smile. Now, it was almost frantic, his tears mixing in—salty and bitter.

“Zhu Pingsheng.”

He murmured my name muddledly. “Listen to me. If you really… I will definitely go find you.”

My heart skipped a beat at those words. I tilted my head to look at him. “Don’t say such things.”

Xie Huaishuang lowered his head and said nothing for a long time. I thought he had taken it to heart, but then I heard him whisper softly again.

“When that time comes, just wait for me a little. I’ll… I’ll walk a bit faster. I won’t make you wait long.”